AN: I keep watching this show and getting inspired to write. Thank you for reading.
Chapter Seven
The agony that Clark was going through was easy to hear but he managed to fight through it despite his weakness. He felt an anger and hatred inside of his chest like he hadn't felt before. No. Even through all of this, he had to remain calm. What he needed was to be able to get his body stabilized. Gripping hold of the darkness that was existing in his head, Clark managed to get his body whole again and grabbed to where the bullet had hit him. He wasn't even aware of what his body was doing but with another painful yell he ripped it out and sat up.
"Clark!" Johnathan said getting closer to his son. "Stay still, you don't need to -"
"I asked you who you are." Lois said with a burning fire in her eyes. She felt as if she were being ripped to tatters. Her heart was yelling abuse towards this woman, she wanted to strangle her. Nobody should have this kind of control and she couldn't let anyone - She froze in her thoughts as she felt a strong hand on her shoulder and looked back at her husband.
She looked at him. She didn't recognize him in that moment. She felt her heart beat heavily as she remembered when Woody Simms had taken over his body. This was more like that dislike, that cold narcissism that she had seen from him. Clark wasn't usually this way. He was warm and kind and loving. He cared about others. Yes, he had offered to break the rules so he wasn't as much of a boy scout as people might say, he was human. However, this man besides her seemed so different.
"Get out," he told the woman coldly. "You know who I am so you should know that there exists a power in the House of El that you shouldn't attempt to interfere with." Lois looked towards the Kents before turning back to her husband. She opened and closed her mouth a couple of times, trying to figure out what words she could use but she was speechless.
She saw the woman try to use her weapon once again but Clark grabbed her wrist and she saw that her wrist had a strange green tinge where his fingers were. She fell down painfully and coughed as her body appeared to get weaker.
Lois felt her breath catch in her chest as Clark leaned forwards in an unfamiliar dominating manner, she wanted to scream at him that he wasn't her soft, sweet, kind, compassionate, empathetic Clark but he needed to do this. She had to understand how he needed to do this.
"Get out of here before I kill you," he whispered and there was silence in the room.
Lois nodded along, breathless, as she turned to look at the woman and saw her speed off. She heard that word echo though her head. He had threatened to kill her. Her Clark had threatened to kill someone. She took a deep breath in as she saw him walk to the side of the room and slam his hand on the wall. It left a crack where he had hit it. She saw him just standing there by himself and moved forwards after giving him a short time.
"Honey," she whispered as she put a hand to his back and felt him flinch. "What is it? What's wrong? Are you okay? What's going on?"
"I don't want to think like this," he whispered to her and Lois nodded nervously, what did he mean by that? Did he mean that he didn't want to feel as he did? She could only imagine how painful things were for him at this moment. That's what he meant, right? There wasn't anything that was wrong about -
"I want to ignore the suffering," Clark said before putting a hand on his forehead. "All I've wanted is to fit in but if humans are the ones to put me into a tube to run tests on in a lab and if my fellow kind think that I've betrayed them by giving humans this information. Maybe…maybe I shouldn't even consider myself a human any longer."
Martha walked over to her son. "Clark," she said as she placed a hand on his shoulder. "You should rest. You are as human as the rest of us, more so. In fact…"
Clark shook his head before laughing bitterly. Maybe he did need to rest again. Maybe he needed to try to suppress this anger that was rapidly going through his veins. He was glad that Sam hadn't been there. He needed to separate this hate from his judgements of the world. He didn't want to think something like this could break his character and his spirit.
"I need to get some rest. I've got a lot to figure out," he told them and Lois stared after him. She understood what he meant. He had suffered because people were greedy and interested in things that didn't concern them. They had taken advantage of him at first by harming their child. They had used what mattered most to him to take control of him and then they had hurt him by taking out parts of his body, by using drugs on him, by experimenting on him, by nearly cutting his brain. He had given so much time to saving others because he was capable of it. Had the government truly killed the truest form of Superman.
"Clark," Lois whispered as she saw him leaving. "If you need to talk…sweetheart, if you would prefer for me to come with you then…."
"Thank you, I just need to be alone for right now. I need to figure out who I am and who I'm allowed to be," he said and Lois frowned. He definitely deserved more than what he had been given. He deserved to be respected and valued and appreciated. She sighed as she took Johnathan Jr into her arms and bounced him a little. If there was anything that she could do then she wanted to be in his corner, standing beside him and supporting him. She wasn't Kryptonian. She only understood what he did and not all of what he did. She couldn't provide him as someone of his own species could but he was living among them as a human, he had been raised to believe himself a human, he was human in her eyes and it was for more than his physical appearance. Kal-El or Clark Kent, she was going to be there for him.
LLCKLLCKLLCK
Lois had fallen asleep when it had become dark but she had curled up next to Clark hours earlier when he had been sleeping. She had heard him acknowledge her presence as she wrapped her arms around him and nuzzled his neck. His words sounded so confused and she couldn't help but have them repeating endlessly in her head.
Are you scared of me now?
She had been shocked when she had first heard that. No. Of course she wasn't scared of him. Yes, she had been scared of his powers when someone else had been in control of them but she had always trusted Clark to not hurt her and to barely scratch anyone else. He had the abilities of an alpha wolf but most often he was just like an adorable puppy. Even if he was fighting his own anger, he wouldn't be able to hurt others.
She woke up to the sound of something shattering and blinked as she saw the flash of something red. Heat vision? Why would he be using that? "Clark?" she whispered as she sat up in the bed. He was wearing a button up shirt that was only half buttoned and she could see his abs underneath. He had loose pajama pants on but despite how comfortable his clothing was, he looked distanced.
Lois felt a little sad as she saw some of the wounds that hadn't completely healed. She wished that she could have protected him in the same way that he had always protected everyone else. She saw him break another glass and flinched just slightly.
"Clark, are you …."
"I'm not one of them," he said as he pushed his head to the wall. He looked to the mirror to the side. He had of course seen himself without his glasses on and comfortable, casual clothing many many times before. So, who was Superman if he was not a man, if he was not considered anything but an alien who should belong in a laboratory. "That's been made clear to me. I will never be accepted by these….foolish beings."
"Forget them," Lois said as she walked over to him and placed a hand on his well defined jaw. "Forget them. You have friends and family who love you, who love you regardless of who you are. You have me and our son and your parents. I'm sure that if we go back to the Planet then you'll see how many people there accept you. I do understand though. You've given so much of yourself to helping others and they don't give you the same to you. You don't have to do anything though. I don't think -"
"I'm expected to save people, to help them," Clark commented and Lois hummed.
"I would stand by any decision that you make. If you wanted to hang up the cape, then I would still support you but I want you to know that even if they don't seem to appreciate it or accept it or even if they take it for granted, that I know you'd feel guilty if you stopped caring. I don't want you to hurt." Lois looked to him and saw the pain that he was going through. She knew that he had no other path than to continue to help others because that's what he did but now he knew that he was an outsider again. Maybe the outsider could be popular and noticed and in the spotlight but a normal boring existence where you were the same as everyone else was an unknown treasure.
"You think we should go back to the Planet?" he asked her and Lois nodded.
"Only if you want to, only when you're feeling better," she said as she wrapped her arms around him and let her head fall into his chest. She breathed deeply. She loved him, truly loved him and that was a type of unconditional feeling.
LLCKLLCKLLCK
Lois held Clark's hand in her own as they walked down the streets of Metropolis. They had made sure Johnathan Jr was safe but now that Clark was feeling better, they could go out of the house. Everyone was staring at them and whispering despite Clark wearing sunglasses this time. He also had on a thick jacket despite being able to regulate his own body temperature easily.
"So," Lois whispered as she still saw everyone staring at them in awe. "Are you okay? We don't have to go in if…" she said as she gestured to the Daily Planet building.
"I think that getting back to normal would be best," Clark laughed weakly. Lois was still worried about him. Some of that bitterness still remained but he had already saved some people and stopped two fires and an earthquake. She was concerned about him but despite how distant he became every so often, he was still saving the day.
Lois squeezed his hand again, she looked up to see a familiar face and saw Clark take a step back. "Jimmy!" she called out and saw him turn around before staring at them. He smiled to Lois but his eyes got wider as he turned to Clark.
"H-H-Hi," he stuttered not sure what to say. "I…uh…I…"
"Hi," Clark said before taking off the sunglasses and heard the loud whispers and gossips around him. His hair was Clark's hair but his glasses weren't on his face any longer. "Hey, Jimmy," he said as Lois could tell his nervousness. "Are you feeling okay?"
"I…uh…listen…if I ha-had…if I had…"
"Does it make a difference?" Clark laughed awkwardly and Jimmy just stared at him silently not really knowing how to respond to that.
End of Chapter Seven
Thank you for reading
Thank you for the reviews of Chapter Six
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