Summary: Happy can be a right snitch sometimes…

Pairings: Erza/Lucy friendship, implied sibling Erza/Natsu/Gray, some Natsu/Happy/Lucy friendship, implied Erza/Jellal, and lashings of Natsu/Lucy.

YouTube Prompt: A Lucy tribute to 'The Climb' by Miley Cyrus.

When Erza had arrived for cake and tea with Lucy, she wasn't at all surprised to see Natsu and Happy were already there (after all they seemed to live with Lucy these days), but she was surprised to see that's Lucy's apartment was a wreck. The usual pin-neat rooms were filthy with broken glass, broken china, dirt from pot plants scattered across the room, something grey was also stamped into the carpet that looked suspiciously like ash, several chairs and the table were overturned, several of Lucy's picture frames have fallen onto the floor, and a lot of Lucy's books had fallen out of the bookcase.

"What happened here?" Erza demanded to know. "Were you robbed or something?"

She inwardly swore on her honour to hunt down these vicious burglars and beat them to a bloody pulp in order to avenge Lucy's apartment.

Both Natsu and Lucy flushed a bright pink and, Natsu in particular, looked rather sheepish. "Erm…" Lucy murmured in a strange shyness.

Erza immediately prickled at that as her suspicions rose. She shot Natsu a deadly glower, who squeaked and leaped back from, strengthening her suspicions. "Was it Gray and Natsu?" she growled out. "Have they been fighting again?"

Despite what some people believed, she wasn't oblivious. She knew her two 'younger brothers' fought like cats and dogs though she hoped her beatings would knock sense into them and remind them that they truly love one another.

"…Yes," Lucy admitted reluctantly. "Yes," she repeated in a much brighter tone. "It was totally them."

Natsu shot Lucy a betrayed look but just as Erza raised her fist to punch him, Happy piped up with;

"Lucy, you're such a liar!"

Erza was stunned that Lucy would lie to her. What on earth did she have to lie about? Lucy was Lucy, she wasn't a troublemaker like Natsu and Gray. Natsu's betrayed (mingled with fear) look vanished to one only slightly horrified, and Lucy looked outraged as she whirled round to face Happy.

"What!" she snapped.

"Liar, liar, pants on fire," Happy sang childishly as he bobbed up and down in the air. "Like the ones Natsu set on fire last night." Erza shot a disgusted look at Natsu and swore to kill him for being such a pervert. She thought she had taught him better after he burned all of Lisanna's bras back when they were thirteen. "That's what all that grey stuff on the floor is," Happy informed Erza, "I saw Natsu grab hold of them under Lucy's skirt and set them on fire."

"Happy!"

"Oh God!" Lucy groaned embarrassed.

"Together they made all the mess," Happy carried on. "Not Gray. I saw you," he glared at the two. His righteous anger was obviously about the lying rather than the getting Gray into trouble bit. "Lucy was wrestling naked with Natsu," Happy said loudly. "I don't why they took their clothes off. Probably because it was so hot But that," he indicated to the pot plant that was in broken pieces on the floor and the plant well and truly dying, "smashed because Lucy pushed Natsu against the wall and attacked him with her tongue. And then those pictures got knocked down because Natsu pushed Lucy into that wall and started biting her neck, and then-"

"OH MY GOD, HAPPY!" Lucy suddenly screamed, her face bright red, and her whole body trembling with suppressed anger. "WILL YOU JUST SHUT UP?!"

Erza could see her reflection in the slightly tilted mirror, how it got in that state she really didn't want to know, Happy had given her far too much information as it was, and she was mildly surprised to see her face was a deadly white and there was a slight, dark crimson, trail coming out of her nose….

"You're so meaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan to me!" Happy wailed. "First you won't let me play with you and Natsu, and now you're screaming at me! I'm leaving!"

"What the hell?!" Natsu yelped as Happy flew out of the window. Erza was too out of it due to shock (and the perverted thoughts that were running through her head, what would it be like if Jellal did that to her….?) to care that Natsu immediately jumped out of the window as well before she could beat him for besmirching Lucy's virtue and honour. "You're not leaving me with this she-devil, you little snitch!"