Summary: Natsu and Lucy discovered it's very difficult business getting married….

Pairings: Natsu/Lucy, Lucy/Mirajane friendship, parental Lucy/Nashi, implied Ur/Nashi, and implied friendship and family feels between everyone in the guild.

YouTube Prompt: Evil character tribute to 'Be Prepared' from Disney's Lion King.

"There is something that's been bothering me, Mum."

It was a very rare quiet afternoon in the guild, even Natsu and Gray or Nashi and Ur weren't fighting with one another, as everyone took in the content peacefulness and actually relaxed. Nashi had ben thumbing through the latest Sorcerer's Weekly when she spoke up.

"Oh," Lucy said as she licked her thumb and attempted to wipe away some dirt that somehow managed to get on her daughter's neck. "What's that sweetie?"

"Mum, gerroff!" Nashi snapped as she tried to wiggle away from Lucy. Like all nineteen year olds would. Lucy couldn't help but sigh a little at that. Why did her baby have to grow up so fast? Eventually Lucy gave up the battle and Nashi settled down opposite her (in order to escape from any spit cleaning attempts). "Well," Nashi said returning to what happened to be bothering her. "It's something I can't help but notice recently."

"Go on," Lucy encouraged.

"You're married to Dad, right." Nashi didn't so much as ask that as she stated it. Like it was a commandment carved in stone. Lucy shifted uncomfortably a little. "Well why then ae you still Lucy Heartfilla instead of Lucy Dragneel?"

Lucy bit her lip and wondered how to tell her daughter a very uncomfortable truth. "Well," she said sheepishly. "It's not like we haven't tried."

"Wait," Nashi blinked, "what?"

"Gihihihihihi," Gajeel sniggered revealing himself to be a gigantic eavesdropper. "They're not married, kiddo."

"WHAT?!"

"Heh," Ur Fullbuster snickered, also revealing himself and about half the guild to be a bunch of eavesdroppers. "Look who's been a hypocrite all these years," he teased Nashi. "After all the times you called me a bastard and it turns out you're one all along."

"SHUT UP!"

Nashi reacted to this in her typical, just like her father, manner. She elbowed the poor boy hard enough tha it sent him staggering back until he landed on his backside.

"Honestly," Gray rolled his eyes. "After all these years you'd think you'd have learnt your lesson."

Ur merely grinned and shrugged it off. He has had worse. "Obviously your son is a moron," Natsu goaded Gray, "not like my girl, she's inherited her mother's brain," he said as he wrapped an arm round Lucy and smiled down at her.

"Idiot," Gray muttered unbothered, "he literally admitted he's a moron."

"How can you not be married?!" Nashi yelled. She still couldn't get over that revelation. "You two are the sickliest, most nauseatingly, married couple I know."

Natsu and Lucy turned to look at one another. "Should we be insulted?" Natsu asked dumbly.

"Yes," Gajeel and Gray said in unison.

They were ignored.

"In your parents' defence," Mirajane said, proving that she too was a great big eavesdropper, "they really did try. They had fifteen weddings."

"Fifteen?!"

"Sixteen," Lucy corrected, "no wait, twenty six if you count all the times we were held a gun point to marry other people or each other for some whacko's amusement."

"I don't," Mira said immediately. "And that sixteenth wedding isn't real!"

Natsu and Lucy rolled their eyes at that. They have heard that one a billion times in the last nineteen years especially when Mirajane was feeling particularly romantic and wanted another wedding to celebrate.

"How the hell did you end up having sixteen weddings?!" Nashi yelled. "Surely with that many you would be married."

Nashi was then further taken aback when a dark, gloomy, aura seemed to leak out of both of her parents. "We're curse," her father said dramatically.

"Definitely doomed," her mother agreed.

And they said Nashi was melodramatic.

"What happened?" Nashi asked impatiently.

"Well," Natsu scratched the back of his head, "the first attempt got hijacked by some left over demons from Tartarus who tried to take their vengeance."

"It turned into an instant bloodbath," Lucy shuddered, "My dress ended up drenched in demon blood."

"That's what you get for having Erza as your maid of honour," Mira scowled, "she's going to behead a demon right there and mount the head on her bedroom wall."

"Wait, that thing is real?!" Edward cried out horrified. "I played with that head all the time when I was a kid!"

"Such a shame," Mira continued as if one of the many children she had adopted in her heart wasn't traumatised, "it was beautiful wedding, we held it at the cathedral, we bridesmaids all wore the prettiest pink dresses, and your mother had this lovely strapless gown that Virgo had made, she would have given into you for your wedding day," Mira sighed heavily, "but the demons attacked, the priest almost suffered a heart attack, all of our dresses were ruined, and the cake got smashed to a pulp because Natsu accidentally on purpose knocked Gray into it during the battle."

"I knew it!" Gray yelped. "Natsu you bastard-"

"The second, eighth, and fourteenth attempt were ruined by these morons," Lucy jammed a thumb in the direction of all the male members over the age of thirty. "They just had to have the stag night the night before the wedding," she grumbled, "and they just had to do things like abandon your father on a train leaving the country, naked."

Nashi grimaced at the mental image that caused. She could have so totally lived the rest of her life blissfully ignorant of that.

"Gihihihihihi."

"IT'S NOT FUNNY! DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW MUCH THOSE WEDDINGS COST?!"

"Obviously not that much," Gajeel drawled, "seeing as by the time we reached number fourteen you were reusing the bridesmaid dresses from wedding number seven."

"Natsu might have stopped destroying things as much but we weren't made of money," Lucy grumbled, "we could have finished the house a lot sooner if we didn't have to keep paying caters for weddings that never happened."

"So what happened to the other weddings?" Nashi asked quickly. She knew from experience that once her mother started on the topic of money, she'll never stop ranting.

That and Nashi really wanted to get past the naked father on a train thing.

"The third was ruined by Natsu and Gray," Lucy glowered at the two who were not helping matters with their bickering, "Natsu was forced to make Gray Best Man this time round by some stupid bet or something, and I barely made it half way down the aisle when they broke into a fight and the priest kicked us all out of the church."

"He banned all Fairy Tail weddings there!" Mirajane wailed. "I had to get married at the registry office because of those two morons! It was the most unromantic thing ever!"

"The fourth and seventh attempt was ruined by Loke," Lucy carried on, "the fourth time he tried to object and caused a fight and…..well I sort of walked out and refused to come back," she said sheepishly, "and the registry office runs on a strict schedule so we had to wait another month to get married. The seventh time Loke somehow accidentally let a group of his ex-girlfriends think he was marrying me and we were mobbed."

Nashi sweat-dropped. She adored Loke, as much as she adored all of her mother's spirits (well, okay, as a Sagittarius she was totally biased to her favourite (aka only) archery teacher but still!), but she always knew he had a problem with women. If there was anyone that needed to be neutered it was Loke….

Mirajane held up another finger, she was obviously counting the weddings now, "Lucy had food poisoning on the fifth attempt," she pouted, "that was my chance to be Maid of Honour instead she puked all over the dress I helped Virgo make-"

"Goodbye dress number three," her mother side sadly, "the second one was burnt to ashes by your father," she explained when she saw Nashi's questioning look

Oh, Ew, Nashi could have lived without knowing that one.

"Sixth attempt was ruined by the Jiggle Butt Gang."

Everyone pulled a face at that and Nashi decided she really didn't want to know. They had all encountered the Jiggle Butt Gang and they all still suffered the odd nightmare of the stink they released. Nashi would have cancelled her own wedding as well if it had been gate-crashed by those old farts and knowing them everyone's clothes had been burned that time round.

"Ninth was an attempt with a double wedding," Mira said dreamily, "Somehow only Gajeel and Levy got married at that wedding."

Lucy frowned at that. "I don't really remember why that happened," she said.

"How can you not remember that one?!" Natsu burst out indignantly. "We missed the ceremony for that one because we ended up in the coat closet sh-"

"Natsu!" Lucy hissed as she elbowed him. "Shut up!"

"Oh God," Nashi groaned embarrassed. "Seriously?!"

"Tenth was interrupted by an all-out war-"

"Last time I would ever consider getting married in a foreign country while on holiday."

"Eleventh Sabertooth ruined-"

"And Natsu, Gajeel, Gray, and Laxus. Men and their pissing contests!"

"No one remembers the twelfth attempt," Mira carried on a little sheepishly. "We were all drunk."

"I think somehow Macao and Wakaba got married instead of us," Lucy frowned, "I'm certain I saw them filing for an annulment a couple days later."

"Thirteenth an entire army of bandits and old enemies invaded and kidnapped Lucy," Natsu growled, "now I make sure they are in prison before we go back home."

"I don't know why you're so pissed," Gajeel grunted, "Bunny Girl scared the living shit out of all those morons and had them all running to the council before we even started the rescue mission."

Natsu just continued to sulk while Lucy rolled her eyes. That was one failed wedding Natsu would never let go.

"And then the fifteenth attempt was, would you believe it," Gajeel smirked at this point, "ruined by the girls."

"IT WAS MY TURN TO BE THE BRIDESMAID!" Everyone clutched their ears at this outburst from Mirajane. "I don't care what Levy or Erza or Juvia or Cana says, it was my turn again!"

Nashi looked questioningly at her mother who nodded and sighed heavily. "They had a cat fight right there and then about it," she muttered dejectedly. "Anyway!" she snapped herself out of the gloominess that she had temporarily been stuck in. £you can imagine that after all those very expensive and tiresome weddings-"

"I had fifteen different suits!" Natsu interrupted whiningly. I don't even know what the fucking point was, I never wore them again."

"Natsu, language," Lucy scolded automatically. "Anyway, your father and I decided on a nice private ceremony where we exchanged vows and rings, and although we never got round to signing that piece of paper, we had our wedding, and in our hearts we are married."

"IT'S NOT A REAL WEDDING!" Mirajane bellowed. "I DEMAND I ORGANISE YOUR REAL SIXTEENTH WEDDING RIGHT THIS INSTANCE."

"Mira," Lucy snapped, "we've been through this. In our heats Natsu and I are married and it doesn't m-"

"REAL WEDDING!"

"We don't w-"

"REAL WEDDING!"

"Mira, I said-"

"REAL WEDDING!"

"Damn," Ur muttered in Nashi's ear as they decided to get away as quickly as possible from their surrogate mother's (she did take care of them whenever their parents were away on missions) insanity. "That's too much drama for one piece of paper."

"Yep," Nashi nodded in agreement.

"When it's our turn we'll just have to elope so there won't be any bad guys or spirits or drunken antics to ruin the ceremony."

"Definitely – hey wait!" Nashi yelped in realisation. "Who the hell said I was going to marry you?!"

Ur smirked in response and Nashi had no choice but to punch the fucking arrogance out of him.