AN: I hope you enjoy this fic. I also plan to be updating some other fics. I really had to take some time off of this site when I received a comment where someone said that the reader had absolutely no need to review anything they read but the writer had the responsibility to update for the reader's benefit. Another person saw a long wait for a fic I loved writing and said, I hope the author puts this up for adoption which honestly hurt. And for a long time every review I would get or 90% of them would say, great story but change X or X is wrong. So updates will be slower for those reasons because those three things sent me into a depression.

Still, I hope you like this story. Thanks for checking it out.

Repeat

Chapter One

Kyoko Hizuri, Japan's hottest actress and a gorgeous goddess-like twenty-five year old, stood at the doorway to the 'movie room' as she watched her husband. He was just sitting frozen staring at the TV where one of their daughter's Disney movies was playing. This time it was The Little Mermaid and Kuon was just staring at the screen as Eric jumped into the ocean wanting to save Ariel. Kyoko loved this movie, in fact she loved all the princess movies but Kuon didn't seem to be engaging with this one. He hadn't been able to engage with the world properly since the accident whilst he filmed what had been called the biggest Japanese drama since Dark Moon.

That had annoyed Kyoko a little since she had been cast as leading lady in dozens of other films and TV shows but he was the former Ren Tsuruga and an international movie star. In fact, he had only stopped doing the international movies after fulfilling his dream of earning an Academy Award and then gone back to doing Japanese films so that he could be with his wife and daughter. Kyoko had wanted to remain in Japan where she felt more comfortable, a big fish in a smaller pond mentality.

She walked over to Kuon who was wearing a hoody he hadn't taken off for four days and with a blanket around his waist. He also had a neck brace on and his right arm was in a sling. He looked completely hollow as he stared at the screen. Kyoko slowly reached out to take his hand in hers and interlaced their fingers before seeing his head bow and his body shake as he began to cry again. He needed professional help but she had been hesitant because he would flinch at new people ever since the accidental murder.

"Baby," she whispered as she looked at him. "It's okay. It's going to be okay."

Kuon shook his head as he sobbed appearing completely broken. Kyoko wrapped her arms around him but it didn't seem to help at all. He just sobbed whilst his body shook in her arms caused by the painful sobbing.

"Hizuri," Director Date Hiroaki said with a grin as he rushed up to the well-established international actor. "I'm so happy to see you again. I know that you arrived a little later than the rest of the cast but I'm proud that this is the first movie you're doing back in Japan."

Kuon grinned, "I'm very excited to work with you too," he said before dropping into a formal bow, his Japanese accent had slipped a little but he still spoke with Kyoko in both languages and they had decided to teach Aurora both English and Japanese and when she was older, hopefully they could introduce her to Russian as well. "I'll do my best."

"And I've arranged for you to practice with the car you'll be using," Hiroaki grinned. "I knew that you were good at driving when we filmed Dark Moon but that series you did in America, Racing the Roads were impressive. I can't even begin to guess on what you'll bring to this production. Please do your best."

"Absolutely," Kuon replied. "So, the car scene really has to be one of the first scenes shot?" he asked and Hiroaki laughed weakly.

"We had to get use of the space and it's really difficult to do that and we had to accommodate some actor schedules," he said and Kuon laughed guiltily. He knew this was because of how in demand he was even with taking himself off of international projects for a while. He had finally been able to become more popular than even his own father. However, with what he had discovered from achieving his acting dreams he had realized what was most important.

Kyoko was an actress who could represent Japan, a dream she had always striven for. He wanted to give her that and be with her as a family. He had conquered his own dreams, what he wanted was a family and to allow himself to be as loved and accepted as he loved and accepted his wife and daughter.

Japan would be home for him now. Maybe when Aurora was older he would go back to doing international movies but Japan would remain home for him. A home with friends and family and people who loved and people he needed to accept loved him back just as he was.

"Let's go meet some of the other actors," Hiroaki said and Kuon nodded. This felt like it was going to be a really rewarding acting experience.

Kyoko held Kuon until he had stopped crying and kissed his cheek lovingly, she held onto his wrist wondering how she could help him. Kuon had spent so long trying to recover from what happened with Rick but now that it had happened again, she didn't know how to help him. Kuon even struggled to talk about anything.

"Did you want to go talk to a doctor?" she asked him and Kuon bowed his head, his eyes focusing on the ground. It took a while before he shook his head. "Corn, you're not doing well. You need to at least eat a little today, okay?" she asked him and he shook his head again. The tension in this room gave her an icy cold chill but it wasn't directed to her and so she could brave the darkness.

"Kuon, I know you don't want to talk about it but no one blames you for this," she said before hearing him speak to her in a sore and scratchy voice.

"Kyoko, that makes it worse," he told her before shaking again. He looked at the movie again and Kyoko touched his arm. "It makes it so much worse."

"You did everything you could in the moment," Kyoko attempted to reassure him but Kuon watched the movie without responding to her. She hated how much he was blaming himself for this. If he had been alone nobody would have died. Kuon was as much to blame as the person who was in the other car, less so even.

"If it wasn't for me he'd be having dinner with his family," Kuon whispered before wrapping his arms around himself in a way of self-comfort. He pushed a hand through his unkempt blond hair and then rolled onto his side away from Kyoko, watching the movie through sore eyes. "Do you think they're happy?" he asked as he pointed to the screen. "She wanted to be with the humans, right?"

"Yes, she did," Kyoko said as she looked at Kuon again. She wanted to make sure he wasn't straining his neck or hurting his arm. She grabbed a couple of pillows and went to put them behind his head before putting a blanket over him. "I think they're happy," she told him hating to see him like this. She bit her lip before kneeling down next to him wanting for him to talk about what happened but she couldn't force him.

"You're really beautiful, you could be a princess again," he said as he reached out to place his hand on her cheek. She held it to her cheek before kissing his forehead.

"Only because I have an amazing prince," she said and he stared at her, she could see how much pain he was in but it terrified her how she couldn't reach him. She turned off the movie for him once it had finished and walked to the door, softening the light for him. She looked to the empty beer cans in the bin. She wanted to limit him from it but didn't know how to touch upon the topic.

"I don't deserve you," Kuon told her and Kyoko looked at him.

"Have a good sleep, Corn," she told him before stepping out of the room and feeling her own tears down her cheeks. "I'm the one who doesn't deserve you," she said as she looked towards the room and then heard the doorbell ring which meant that their daughter was home. Yashiro had been a good and supportive friend for the two of them through this and she was happy that they had someone they could depend upon even though nobody was able to get through to Kuon.

"You should never hate the dead, Kyoko," she whispered to herself. She couldn't help it though. Kuon was in this position because of that stupid brat. He had died doing something reckless and absurd and left the other people involved to shatter into pieces.

Kuon hated the fact that sometimes he got a little nervous in these car scenes. He was well-known now for being a great driver and had made sure not to get into accidents even when driving top speed but he was happy that years ago Kyoko had given him a good luck charm for whenever he had to do dangerous stunts. He had felt disappointed that she hadn't when they had been filming Dark Moon but ever since they began their relationship they both had given each other good luck charms.

Kuon looked at the cleared street ahead. They had had to put up blocks and had taken a lot of safety measures but the streets of Shibuya were apparently important to the scene. Due to how much access was needed this was one of the first shots being filmed but it didn't matter how much chemistry you had with the other actors, the other person was a stunt driver and you had to trust in both your skill and theirs.

Kuon took a deep breath in before starting the car and speeding it down the street where one camera was capturing the shot. He had to go around two corners, reverse, then continue speeding. He also needed to keep an eye on the other car so they could coordinate with one another. He put himself into the mind of the character before seeing the speedometer climb. "Come at me, you asshole," he whispered as he remained in character.

Elsewhere there was a group of teenagers playing hooky among all of the spectators watching the scene. It couldn't be helped. Kuon's popularity had more than doubled since he had become an international actor and when details were leaked about this stunt driving, it created an uproar of enthusiasm.

"You think I'll go viral?" one thirteen-year-old boy said to the other young teenagers in his group. "I bet I will."

"You're an idiot" one of the girls told him. "Riku, don't do it."

"It's Hizuri Kuon, everyone will be watching," Riku argued before hearing the cars coming towards the street they were on. He passed over his bag to the girl before turning on his phone. "I'll remember you when I'm a famous influencer," he said before running out into the middle of the road, dodging a policeman and a few other people. He held his camera in front of him. "Hi, everyone, this is Riku and I am standing in the middle of the car scene in Hizuri Kuon's new dra-" he said before feeling something hit him and the next thing he knew he was flying through the air and then as his body dropped onto the ground, felt a pain in his neck and everything was black.

Kyoko hesitantly stood at the doorway of the movie room again. She watched Aurora run inside unable to hold her and looked to Yashiro who had a very compassionate yet deeply concerned expression on his face. Kuon stared at the young girl and sat up on the couch, watching her.

"Hi, princess," he whispered and as she ran towards him, he wrapped her up in his arms, ignoring the pain from his neck and arm because in his mind that was the least he deserved. Aurora snuggled into his chest before pulling away with a grin that was just like her mother's.

"Daddy, Mommy says I get to make cookies tomorrow," she said with a grin and Kuon watched her, he blinked through the reddened eyes a little confused.

"Tomorrow?" he asked before looking up at Kyoko almost as if he was looking through her.

"Saturday," Kyoko reminded him and Kuon nodded, returning his focus to the small girl.

"That sounds fun," Kuon stated as if he was a ghost. Aurora bit her lip. Even at her young age she knew something was different about her dad. Her dad always had taken the time to play with her and take her to the zoo or the aquarium or to look at birds or flowers but for a long time he had just seemed sad about something she didn't understand. "You love cooking together."

"Yeah," Aurora nodded. "I want to make them for mommy and daddy," she announced. "So Daddy can eat one."

"Y-yeah," Kuon nodded. "I'll eat at least one, I promise," he told her although Kyoko knew how hard it was for him to eat anything these days.

"Aurora," Kyoko said gently as she came over to her daughter and knelt beside her. She very carefully placed a hand on her daughter's back before smiling. "Why don't you get changed into your pajamas early, you tell me you like how snuggly they are," she said and Aurora smiled.

"Bath and dress before dinner?" she asked as if this was a completely new concept and Kyoko laughed.

"Just for today, okay," she said and Aurora nodded. She hugged Kuon again who pulled her to him.

"Love you, Daddy," she said and Kyoko kissed Kuon's cheek. Both of them said their thank you to Yashiro before stepping out of the room to give the two men some privacy. Kuon returned to staring vacantly at the TV screen almost as if he didn't realize Yashiro was there.

The older man looked towards who was his best friend and walked over to him. He hated to see Kuon punish himself like this. He sat on the chair next to the sofa he was on before turning to him. "Aurora is getting to be more and more like Kyoko every day now. She's a really good girl," Yashiro said but Kuon ignored him and just looked into the space in front of him. Yashiro looked over Kuon, focusing on where his wrist had been bandaged by Kyoko. "I heard that your dad was coming back in a couple of weeks," he said and Kuon finally nodded.

Yashiro sighed, "Kuon," he said as he tried to pull the attention of the broken man. "It's not your fault. You didn't do anything wrong. If someone else had been driving then the chances of him dying would have been a lot higher."

Kuon finally turned to him with a tear falling down his cheek. "Can you st-stop it?" he asked as his words faltered. "Just…just stop saying things like that. No one else was in the car, no one else was driving. I was in the car that killed him. Stop trying to make what I did all right." He shook and wrapped his arms around himself again before blinking and staring at the older man. "Yashiro?" he asked, "When did you get here anyway?"

"Just twenty minutes or so," Yashiro informed him and Kuon nodded. "You know we've been through a lot together and I have never seen you like this. Is this how Tsuruga Ren would have dealt with things."

Kuon fell onto his side again, "Tsuruga Ren never existed. It would be better off if he did exist but he never did. The world would be a lot better with Ren in it. Kyoko would be a lot better if she had Ren."

"Kyoko fell in love with you," Yashiro attempted to remind him. "And I think you're a lot better than Ren personally. I really liked Ren but Ren didn't allow us to be as good friends as I am with you, Kuon."

Kuon closed his eyes, "Can you do me a favor if we're such good friends?" he asked.

Yashiro paused for a moment hoping that Kuon wasn't going to say anything like ask him to kill him or convince Kyoko to get a divorce. "It depends what it is but if I can then -"

"Just leave me alone," Kuon told him before breaking again. "Just leave me alone. I don't have the energy for this. I…Aurora…I have to save my energy for Aurora. She doesn't deserve to feel pain and she can't understand. So please, just leave me alone."

Yashiro sighed before nodding and standing from the chair. "I hope you feel better soon, Kuon. We're all rooting for you. So if you need anything please call us." He said and only left after Kuon nodded and wrapped himself up more in the blankets. Yashiro paused before leaving the room and walked towards the bathroom where Kyoko was filling the tub whilst Aurora decided on her bath toy selection.

"Can you continue to update me on how he's doing?" he asked Kyoko who nodded. "And if any of you need anything."

"We know you're there for us," Kyoko said before sighing. "I hope that one day he'll forgive himself even though he shouldn't have to. I don't think any of us are going to get the real Kuon back until that happens." Yashiro nodded not sure what to say to that. There was a chance that Kuon's condition could get worse and that was something none of them wanted to see happen.

As Kuon made it onto the main street, his eyes widened as he saw a teenage boy standing directly in the path of the car. He couldn't let his shock and disbelief blind him to this and he slammed his foot on the brake of the car, trying to veer it towards a building where there were no pedestrians. Driving into a glass wall of the building not to mention whatever was being used to hold the glass up was reckless and stupid but ideally it would only mean he was to get hurt.

Focusing on risking his own life and the property and car damage, Kuon was able to see that at this angle he would be able to narrowly miss the boy despite his own health and safety now being in jeopardy. He had to do that. He had to do whatever he could to mi-

Kuon felt something slam into him and realized it had been the stunt driver attempting to miss the boy as well. Kuon attempted to maintain control of the car but the way that the other car had slammed into him pushed his car towards the boy and Kuon could feel the horror as it slammed into him and then the car flipped onto its side before flipping again. Kuon felt a pull at both his neck and his arm and was only conscious enough to roll out of the car before it burst into flames.

He coughed from the smoke but as he turned to look at where the boy had been, his neck with a searing hot pain coursing through it, his eyes widened at the blood and the position of the boy. He coughed as people ran over to him but he couldn't keep himself from staring at where the boy was. His neck had snapped and he was in his own blood and the phone beside him seemed undamaged.

Kuon couldn't hear anything, couldn't respond to anything. That kid had died because of him. He was responsible for his death. Just like Rick, nobody else was responsible for this. He had stolen away another person's happiness.