Chapter Four

4.1

Kyoko took a deep breath in as she exited the company car at the hospital. She could have strangled that set assistant for not giving proper context. A fatal accident had happened during the filming of the car scene on the set of Kuon's new movie. The assistant had said that it had been during Kuon driving the car but said that she didn't know who was in the accident. It was when she received the phone call from the hospital herself that she had been told that Kuon was alive.

As she went into the hospital, ignoring the paparazzi and the fans of both her and Kuon, and got the instructions to the room where Kuon was, she felt a dark aura around her. Even the elevator seemed completely frozen. She tried to calm herself by reminding herself that they said that Kuon was okay and he only had a hurt arm and neck from where he had strained it. It could have been a lot worse.

The elevator finally opened up and she found Kuon's room. She took a deep breath in before knocking on the door and opening it. The room had a dark and depressing aura, the type of which she hadn't experienced before. The sadness was suffocating her. She looked at the source of this angst and saw Kuon sitting in the corner of the room, staring ahead of him as if he were about to be sick and from smelling the room it seemed he already had been.

"Corn?" she tried as she looked him over, he didn't respond to her. It was just like when he had been in the car accident during Dark Moon so many years ago but far worse. "Corn?" she asked and he didn't respond to her.

She approached him and heard a broken laughing as his entire body shook and he grabbed to the top of his head, his fingers going through his hair, and he brought his chin to his chest. He laughed brokenly again as the tears slid down and hit his knees.

"Kuon?" she said as she rushed over to him and knelt in front of him. "Kuon?"

"He's dead," Kuon whispered as Kyoko felt his pain in those words. Kuon broke even more, even when he was acting he didn't cry this much. Kyoko clenched her teeth before putting her hands on his right knee. If this was ten years ago, she wouldn't know how to cope with this. She would have never imagined the strong and stable Ren Tsuruga to be like this but she knew that that composition and maturity was what made Ren different from the Kuon that only those close to him knew.

"You know that you didn't kill him, right?" Kyoko felt a need to ask but Kuon didn't move; it was almost as if he were frozen. Kyoko took his hand which just rolled limply into hers. She could see that his eyes though red and puffy weren't focused. She sighed wishing she knew how to help him feel better. "I'm going to call your dad," she told him but he still didn't acknowledge her. "You need your dad."

Kyoko rose so she could hug him but again there was no response. She sighed, every so often Kuon would just repeat the words 'he's dead' as if he were a robot but other than that he only seemed to be reacting to what was in his mind. She didn't know how to help him. She heard a tapping on the door behind her and looked to see a doctor enter the room.

"I'm glad you're here Hizuri-san," he said as he looked at Kyoko. "Kuon-san hasn't really had any external response for about an hour. I was hoping that you'd change that…but…"

"His arm's been treated, he's wearing a neck brace," Kyoko pointed out and the doctor sighed.

"He didn't respond to either of those situations but it is our duty to help patients despite their situations," Kyoko turned back to Kuon who again was crying but seemed to be lost in his own little world. "He's in shock right now. He'll have to be monitored carefully. I'll have our on-site head of the psychiatric department take a look at him."

"So…he's been like this since -"

"Since just after the accident happened is what I've been told," the doctor said and Kyoko stared at Kuon, her stomach falling. It was far worse than she had originally thought.

4.2

Kyoko looked at Kuon as he watched her from a chair in the kitchen. The previous day had been the talk with Maiko and Kyoko wanted to question him a little further on whether he believed some of the things he had said but she couldn't quite bring herself to do so. Kuu had been able to finish work early – like father, like son – and so had booked an earlier flight and would be arriving that day and so Kyoko wanted to make him enough food to enjoy.

"We could have ordered something," Kuon said as he looked to the side and out the window. It was summer, July, but he didn't feel excited about it. It had been June when the death had occurred and soon it would be August and Aurora's birthday but he wasn't feeling anything.

"I know but whenever Father visits I love seeing his face when I feed him," Kyoko said before seeing Kuon's miserable expression. She let her fingers go through his beard and then his unkempt hair. "I think he's looking forward to seeing you."

"Why? In case I ruin his career by association?" Kuon asked. He was wearing a loose black t-shirt with yet another hoody and sweat pants. He had lost even more weight than when Kuu had seen him a few weeks ago and Kyoko had the feeling that Kuu would pull her away and tell her that.

She knew. She knew what the situation was.

As that was said, Kyoko heard the sound of the bell at the gate and started to wash her hands to answer the door but Kuon shook his head.

"I'll get it," he told her and walked away. Kyoko looked after him nervously but the chances were very high that it was Kuu – although he knew the code for the gate – and that would hopefully make Kuon feel a bit more supported. She started working again on the large soup she was making, this would probably just count as a snack for Kuu though.

As Kuon went to the door, he clicked the gate without checking and walked out. If it was the paparazzi he would just ask them to take their photographs and end his misery. He slipped some shoes on and walked out and he rolled his eyes as he saw someone he was not expecting. A now brunette Sho Fuwa was casually walking towards him.

"Well, well, well, the murderer has finally come out of hiding," Sho stated and Kuon looked away. "You know you're really a creep, killing a kid and you're not up to facing the truth and the consequences. Just hiding away in this dream house."

Kuon stared at him for a moment and blinked, he took a deep breath in, "Are you here to see Kyoko?" he asked and Sho scoffed.

"Obviously, it's not right you keeping her in this house against her will. You have a kid too, don't you?" Sho asked and Kuon looked at him and nodded. He heard the sound of a car drive into the gate but ignored it. "How will she feel about the fact that her father is a cold-blooded killer? She should be afraid of you. I'm afraid of you. Who knows where your blood loss will come from next."

Kuon bowed his head before bowing deeply and Sho took a step back. "Thank you," he said as he rose. "Thank you, I've been waiting for someone not to tiptoe around me and tell me the truth."

Sho took a step backwards but then laughed. "You're admitting it. I'm so sick of the media trying to paint you as some innocent puppy dog who feels guilt and remorse when you're just a monster. You're a murderer who killed an innocent boy. Because of you someone lost their life. Because of you a family was destroyed. You're just some sick animal who should be caged for life. A murderer who is twisted enough to be a danger to others. You're nothing but a cold blooded killer with a cold blooded heart and you sh-"

"Excuse me," a very angry voice could be heard behind Sho. "What the hell are you saying to my son?" Sho looked back to see two taller men than him. Lory closed his eyes and bowed his head but Kuu was a few degrees more pissed. "Get the hell away from this house."

"Dad, he's telling the truth," Kuon replied. "I'm grateful to him for saying the things that no one else will."

"So why don't you go out there and tell everyone how you truly feel!" Sho said as he pointed behind him at the gates but Kuu walked over to his son and put a hand on his shoulder. He wanted to argue about how Kuon was completely faultless in what happened but on second thought didn't consider Sho worth his time.

"Let's go into the house, okay," Kuu said with a supportive squeeze of his son's shoulder. He didn't like how much muscle mass and fat Kuon had lost and he didn't like his ragged appearance. He was blaming himself far too much. "I'm looking forward to seeing my granddaughter again. Boss, will you take care of whatever this is," Kuu said dismissively before guiding Kuon inside.

"Dad," Kuon said when they finally got inside, "I murdered somebody. I killed somebody. The world should know that," he said before starting to shake and Kuu wrapped his arms around his son and guided his head down so that Kuon could break onto his shoulder. "I'm sorry, Dad. I'm so sorry."

Kuu held him protectively before giving a nod of acknowledgment to Kyoko who was watching the two of them hesitantly. Kuu just held onto Kuon and let him break onto his shoulder. At least he was upright, when he had seen his son at the hospital during the early weeks after the accident, Kuon hadn't been moving, after the death was announced it had been as if he were paralyzed.

"I'm here," he said after Kuon's body had calmed a little, "I'm right here. We've got you. We're supporting you. We just have to take things one step at a time, okay."

"O-Okay," Kuon whispered as he took a step back from his father and Kuu saw how broken his child was and it felt like a fatal wound. Kuu looked to the living room where it was a bit messy still but he didn't see any of the beer bottles and instead some bottles of water and some store-bought onigiri.

"Kuon's had even less of an appetite than usual, "Kyoko attempted to explain. "But he's been having about one or two of them a day," she said referencing the onigiri. "So, it's better than nothing."

As they stood there, Lory walked in as he slid his phone into his pocket with a weak smile although he appeared to be extremely pale. He took slow breaths before looking at the people in the kitchen. "If you could excuse me for a minute, Shuuhei, can I have a word."

"We'll talk in just a minute, why don't you go sit down and wait for me?" Kuu said and Kuon nodded silently before going into the movie room. When the door was closed Lory took a deep breath in and Kyoko kept glancing at the soup pot and the two men.

"Did you want me to le-"

"Nakama Aoi is in the hospital, he attempted to take his own life," Lory said referring to the stunt driver who was in the other car. "He's on life support in the hospital. I got a call from my friend who is over at his agency but I don't want Kuon to know about this just yet. I think this news might push him over the edge especially if it turns out that he dies. Kuon already feels responsible for one death."

Kyoko bit her lip and allowed herself to cry before turning back to the soup. "I don't want him to lose hope or call himself selfish again," she said as she hated how this left Kuon to deal with the aftermath of the event. She knew that if it wasn't for Aurora he would have tried to end his life but he loved her so much. He loved both of them but as he had told the psychiatrist, she was a big girl and could probably get over it somewhat.

4.3

Kuu looked to Kyoko seeing her sadness as he went to the main bedroom and knocked on it. It had only been a couple of days since the accident and Kuu finally was able to see his son. He hadn't wanted to come without notice but he wanted to get there as soon as possible. Kuon had apparently become 'still and silent' meaning that he wasn't eating, wasn't speaking, was pretty much a shell of who he was.

"Kuon," Kuu asked as he came up to Kuon's side of the room and saw the broken man just staring in front of him. Kuu pulled up a chair and looked at Kuon who was a complete wreck refusing to bathe or change clothes. He had heard from Kyoko that Kuon would have sips of water when Kyoko asked him but that was it. "Hey, you feeling okay?" he asked and Kuon started to cry more, pressing his face into the sheets.

"I know that it's hard but no one is blaming you," Kuu tried to explain but Kuon didn't respond. "Kyoko told me that you haven't been eating very much. Is there anything that I can get for you?" he asked but Kuon didn't move.

Kuu heard something behind him and smiled as he saw a bird on a branch of the tree outside the window. "What kind of bird do you think that is?" he asked and Kuon rolled over and stared at where Kuu was pointing. Kuu smiled but saw Kuon looking into the air and not focusing on the bird. "Do you remember when you were a kid and we used to go bird watching on Sunday mornings when I wasn't filming?" he asked and Kuon just stared in front of him.

"We saw a lot of animals and nature. You had that bird watcher's guide that you loved. I've always loved seeing your excitement over wild animals especially the smaller animals like chipmunks and squirrels and how you had that chicken," Kuu tried to lighten the mood but Kuon just continued to stare in front of him as the bird flew away.

"Are you sure that you don't want anything to eat? Drink? Anything?" he asked and Kuon just stared out the window not responding to his father.

"Birds," Kuon whispered and Kuu watched him concerned. "That was a bird."

End of Chapter Four

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