AN: For some peace of mind, I'm going to try to update fanfics at the end of the month in the future. I actually have Excel documents that show the popularity of the fics and will write the ones which are most popular first but hope to update a lot of them monthly. Thank you for bearing with me during this and I hope you enjoy.

Chapter Nine

9.1

Kuon looked down guiltily as he sat in the much more organized living room and he looked up at Maiko. He had asked Kyoko if he could do the in-home therapy by himself and it had worked out that Lory had wanted to speak with her about something that could only be handled in person. Besides, Kuu could be in the house during the time and spend some time with Aurora.

Still, Kuon felt horrible about the way that he had presented himself the last time and also the way that the tabloids had shown him when he was staggering around the streets two nights previously. He looked up at Maiko as she leaned forwards.

"So, how are you feeling about everything? Your body language is better," she commented and Kuon laughed weakly.

"You mean I'm more open to meeting the challenge, less guarded?" he asked and saw Maiko nod. He sighed and looked away before pushing his hand through his hair again. "I think that I was able to take everything in and sort of realize what it is I need to work so hard for. I hate to admit it publicly but I'm a huge disaster of a person."

Maiko wrote something down on her notepad before shaking her head. "I don't know what that is but why would you say that you're a huge disaster of a person?" She asked with genuine interest and without the judgement that Kuon was expecting. Kuon looked away and sighed.

"You should see my reaction to things. I'm not normal. I really feel that I'm just pretending to be part of the human society and that it's only my acting which makes me seem normal to others," he said before looking at her and saw her jotting things down. He sighed. "Still, I want to get to the point where I would be able to act again and go out in public again. I just need to know what I can do to fix the situation in a way that shows I respect Rikuu's spirit."

"You mean, the boy who died?" Maiko asked and Kuon nodded. "So, you do think that you have a responsibility there."

"I have a responsibility to make sure that he isn't forgotten," Kuon replied. He looked up at the ceiling as he brough his hands to his knees. He took a deep inhale and then let it out. "I'm sorry if that sounds selfish of me. I understand that this situation is a lot bigger than myself. I can't really figure out what to do but I want to be a person who doesn't have people judging him about certain things."

"About certain things to do with your career or -" Maiko asked and Kuon looked away and sighed.

"There were people who wanted for Aurora to be taken away from me by child protective services. More than anything, I want Aurora to be happy and healthy and safe. I do my best to conquer my demons so that she doesn't get affected by them. I haven't been so great recently but I want to be a good dad to her. I've always wanted that."

Kuon bowed his head as he tried to remember the way people had called him a terrible father and a bad role model and influence to his daughter. He only wanted what was best for her and that's what had motivated him in the first place to start moving around again and speaking. Still, he couldn't deny that there were traits about him that some might not call the best in a parent. He had to conquer those demons still.

"Is that what caused you to leave the house?" Maiko asked as she shifted her body so she was slightly closer to him. Kuon nodded and then looked aside.

"I know they say in the papers that they don't know if I was on something and fortunately my friend was able to say that he took me to a karaoke bar and that I wasn't on any drugs or alcohol, but I really was out of it. I didn't know what I was doing. I just wanted to change for my daughter and I thought a box of hair dye would do that." He looked aside and then closed his eyes. It was a little chilling to remind himself of why he had wanted that hair dye so much. Ren would…how would Ren handle having a child? Well, Ren was the perfect Japanese gentleman, he would probably be nothing but an amazing father who paid out a lot of money for his child and encouraged them to study for tests but…

"Was that to do with your daughter as well?" Maiko asked, "The hair dye. I assume that with all the time you lived out the part of Tsuruga Ren, the hair dye is like a statement saying that what Kuon can't do, Ren can do." Kuon nodded as he heard her say that. Maybe therapy was worth the money after all. "Do you think that Ren would have made a capable father."

"Probably, the guy could do anything," Kuon told her before laughing as he looked down. "I know it sounds crazy and maybe it is, that I keep referring to Ren as another person and not just my stage name but I don't know if Ren would have kids or he'd probably have kids that went to a private school or even a boarding school. I just can't picture Ren Tsuruga having children."

"Why can't you picture him having kids?" Maiko asked and Kuon laughed.

"Probably because the guy is absolutely flawless and can master anything with ease. I'm…not. I'm screwed up. I have a twisted sense of logic and quite often a twisted sense of humor. I make mistakes. I have fears and worry and get scared and I can allow myself to love and to feel weak. Ren…Ren would never feel weak. Ren was perfect."

Kuon laughed a little as he said this. He knew that the him that existed on that day wouldn't be considered as great as the grand Ren Tsuruga but he was a bit messier inside and out, he had a greater range of emotions, he had more preferences and dislikes than Ren.

"Can you tell me what you're thinking right now?" Maiko asked as she leaned in closer.

Kuon looked up at her. "I can be a better dad than Ren would be because I'm not perfect and I need to believe that Aurora is better with me as her father. Real parents mess up all the time but they always make things better especially when their child is involved. I've been taking care of Aurora since she was born and Ren wouldn't know how to. Despite all my mistakes, I'm really the best father that Aurora is going to have and I have to remind myself of that."

"I think that's a really positive thing," Maiko said before humming, "How do you feel about medication?" she asked and Kuon looked up at her before nodding.

"Can you tell me about it before you prescribe me anything?" he asked and Maiko smiled in a kind manner before taking out some forms.

9.2

As Kyoko got to Lory's office, she froze as she noticed two people who looked very ordinary in the room waiting opposite Lory, she immediately went into a bow before looking up at them and kept her eyes downcast as she recognized who they were. She dropped down into a deep bow like the ones she did at the start of her career and her hands tightened around the bag which she was carrying. These were the parents of Rikuu Aoyama

"Hello, Hizuri-san," the woman said as she got up and Kyoko felt herself freeze as if she was sixteen again and was just being cast in a huge drama. She looked up timidly at the woman. "I'm Aoyama Kana. It's nice to finally meet you. I only wish it was under better circumstances."

"I'm Aoyama Jiro," the man said and Kyoko nodded. She stood up as she looked at them and then looked at the president, why hadn't Lory prepared her for this? Why did she have to go in without a battle plan? "We hoped that we might be able to speak with your husband but after seeing the media reports on him."

"Kuon would want to meet with you as well," Kyoko said and she saw both Kana and Jiro look uneasy. "I don't mean to speak out of line here but I think that my husband did everything in his power to prevent what happened and I hate that it happened and you have no…"

"We don't blame him," Jiro said with an exhausted expression. "The videos have made it clear that Hizuri Kuon was willing to put himself at risk to save our son when our son is the one who did something so reckless. We are sorry for all of the problems which -"

"Please don't say that," Kyoko whispered. "I know that it might feel like you should but please don't. I don't accuse you of anything but please don't tell Kuon that you are sorry. The loss on your side is so much greater than ours and we want to do all we can to help aid in this time. Nobody wanted that young boy to lose his life."

"It was his desire for fame. His desire to make a name for himself," Kana whispered before crying and Kyoko felt herself become more insecure as she was witness to that. Still this really wasn't about her, this was about the family and trying to honor the life of their son. She could take her own pain and deal with it outside of this room. "He acted so foolishly but -"

"It's not worth it," Kyoko whispered. "I'm sorry but it's not worth thinking about what could have been done differently or if it were worth doing things differently. My husband and I want to provide whatever we can to help with any of the costs or emotional needs for the family. Kuon does deeply care about what happened and I think what he wants is to know how he can help."

"We want to see him get better and become stronger," Kana said before smiling sadly. "I was always such a fan of Tsuruga Ren. The movies that he made kept me strong and confident and they were always so motivating and then seeing him in the magazines and internet posts these past couple of days. I didn't want to see that and I just hope he recovers."

"We've said the same to the stunt driver who has fortunately come out of the hospital," Jiro said. "We don't want the actions to cause them the pain in their lives or their careers."

"I just hope to see him soar again, like a phoenix," Kana said in reference to Kuon and Kyoko smiled as she nodded.

Maybe she had said it like a phoenix in a sense of rebirth and revival and Kyoko wasn't going to say it but to her Kuon was always soaring as he lived out the life of her fairytale prince.

End of Chapter Nine

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