Summary: Cana plays with the card versions of her friends much to Scorpio's distress.

Pairings: Gray/Juvia, Erza/Jellal, Gajeel/Levy, Wendy/Romeo, Happy/Charle, Mira/Laxus, Elfman/Evergreen, Natsu/Lucy, implied Aquarius/Scorpio, brief mention of Cana/Scorpio, Cana/Mira friendship, and some mentions of Scorpio/Lucy friendship.

YouTube Prompt: A Natsu/Lucy video to 'Your Song' any cover.

Cana had been scratching her head, feeling incredibly out of her depth.

She knew card magic, hell she was the best card mage in Fiore. Her tarot card readings were always accurate, she could summon nearly anything she wished, and she wielded elements just as well as Natsu and Laxus if the mood strikes her but this…..

This was sheer nonsense.

And then it occurred to her…..this was sheer nonsense.

She could do nonsense.

She was a Fairy Tail mage, she was literally nonsense and chaos.

And this….this little boy, despite being a powerful celestial mage, was a little boy.

Cana smirked, she knew exactly what to do.

It was then when Cana stated summoning as many members of the guild as possible, Natsu and Lucy, Gray and Juvia, Erza and Mystogen (Jellal version without the mask), Mira and Laxus, Elfman and Evergreen, Bisca and Alzack, Gajeel and Levy, Happy and Charle, and Romeo and Wendy.

"How interesting," Scorpio mused, "what exactly are you planning?"

"Ha," Cana smirked, "Just you wait and see," she then dramatically gestured to the card field. "I shall now activate the lovey-dovey combo!" she shouted on the top of her voice.

"The lovey-what?!" Scorpio cried out alarmed. "You can't do that! It ruins the game!"

How typically…..boy-ish of him.

"Lovey-dovey combo; Gruvia!" Cana barked, ignoring Scorpio's childish whine. "Activate! Love-dovey combo Jerza! Activate."

Card! Gray held Card! Juvia to his naked chest in a possessive manner. "I won't let that bastard Lyon take you!" he growled dramatically. "You're Fairy Tail."

"Oh Gray-sama!" Card! Juvia swooned. "Juvia is honoured to be in your strong arms. Juvia is unworthy of such affection."

"Juvia," Card! Gray growled, "is worthy of every affection."

And that was when he pulled her into a very nice snog much to Scorpio's obvious distress as he let out a traumatised scream.

Meanwhile Jellal and Erza were edging towards one another shyly. "Jellal…." Erza murmured with a blush.

"Erza," Jellal replied with an equally bright blush.

Cheerfully Cana began to activate all the other combos. Charle accepted Happy's fish, Wendy and Romeo started to hold hands, Laxus cuddled Mirajane possessively, Elfman and Evergreen did some really disgusting snogging, and Levy kissed Gajeel with a passion Cana really didn't think the bookworm in real life could ever possess.

"Stop it!" Scorpio yelled more at the card people than Cana, amusingly enough. "Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! STOP IT!" he pointed a finger particularly at Elfman and Evergreen. "That's disgusting!" he wailed. "Make them stop! Oh my god," he blinked in horror when he realised something, "why are you taking photos of this?! Are you a pervert?"

Cana put down her camera and smiled winningly at the repressed pre-teen version of Lucy's normally rather hunky spirit (don't tell Aquarius Cana said that though, the fish was a violent and jealous bint that had no qualms from trying to drown Cana just for pointing out that she was old.). "No," she said happily enough, "it's for Mira's birthday. It's coming up in a few weeks and I've been struggling to think what to get her that doesn't cost money. I'm rather skint right now," she admitted sheepishly. She had drunk her latest reward money very quickly when she stumbled upon a rum bar that did different flavours. "This is going to be something she'll love. Photographic evidence of all her favourite pairings."

"Is this Mira a pervert?!"

"Kinda," Cana admitted, "just a bit. Yeah." Scorpio stared at her in horror and Cana had to admit she was tempted to close his jaw for him and pet him on the head for being such an adorable little freak. Instead she just flipped her own hair and nodded to his life points. "Would you look at that," she smirked, "I managed to scare three of your life points just like that," she clicked her fingers.

"WHAT?!"

"And now," Cana said, ignoring the fact her opponent seemed to have lost his soul out of sheer horror, "for my final move - The Super lovey-dovey combo; Natsu and Lucy!"

Card! Natsu and Card! Lucy turned to look at one another lovingly, Card! Natsu pushed back Card! Lucy's hair while Card! Lucy reached out to cup Card! Natsu's cheek, ever so slowly they started to lean in.

(Cana rapidly took photos of this.)

"Oh come on!" Scorpio cried out looking genuinely distressed. "She's my Master! I don't want to see her kissing some boy!" Huh….how interesting, at some level they still recognise Lucy as their owner. She would have to remember to tell Lucy this. Card! Natsu and Card! Lucy's lips finally met, and all thoughts of telling Lucy something left Cana's mind as she instantly took more photos. "I DON'T WANT TO SEE THAT!" Scorpio screamed horrified. "OKAY, I GIVE UP! YOU WIN!"

And that was when, much to Cana's surprise, Scorpio darted across the field towards her, grabbed her hand that held onto his anti-key tightly, and smacked his face against the key which caused him to vanish in a bright white light.

"Ha!" Cana said smugly. "Another victory for Fairy Tail! Now then…." She turned to look at the card versions of her friends. "What embarrassing things can I make you lot do, hmm?"

(Meanwhile in the world between worlds, the Princess and her Knight watched with morbid fascination as Cana continued to create mountains worth of blackmailing material.)