Summary: Sheer crack nonsense, Natsu and Lucy have a melodramatic love confession. Happy is not impressed.

Pairings: Natsu/Lucy, Natsu/Happy/Lucy friendship, and implied Happy/Mira friendship.

YouTube Prompt: crack-ish video for Natsu/Lucy, Gray/Juvia. And Gajeel/Levy to 'Uptown Girl' either cover.

Happy would like to say this was a typical Tuesday afternoon for him but unfortunately it was not.

Usually Natsu and Lucy would have kicked the bad guys' butts and they would be cashing in what's left of the reward money (once Natsu's damages had been taken out of it) for rent and food, instead on this particular Tuesday afternoon they were all tied up and held upside down over a pot of boiling water.

Why did Natsu have to pick the job with cannibals in it?

Why did Lucy agree to it?

Why were they both so useless because they kept staring at one another weirdly?

Why is this happening?! Happy was too young to die and be eaten!

Natsu and Lucy were being even more useless than ever, instead of fighting to get through the bindings and beat these evil cannibals up, they were just lying there limply and gazing at one another with weird googly eyes.

"So," Lucy said breathlessly, "this is it."

"Yeah."

"We're going to die."

"WHAT?!"

Happy was ignored, as he had been all day.

"Before we go," Lucy bit her lip nervously, "I want you to know, Natsu," she said his name so reverently that Happy was almost convinced his best friend had turned into some sort of God, "that you're the only one for me. There has never been anyone else."

"Lucy," Natsu said breathlessly. Oh God, now he was at it too. Happy can just feel the ickiness of it all especially when somehow Natsu and Lucy managed to free their hands and instead of escaping they just clasped the other's hand and looked even more gooey eyed at one another. Ew. "Same here, you're it. You're the love of my life, the sun and stars of my world, the very thing I centre on."

"Oh Natsu!"

"Oh Lucy!"

"Oh come on!" Happy cried out thoroughly fed up now. "We're being hovered over a pot boiling on fire, why aren't you eating it and escaping it?!"

"….Oh yeah," Natsu laughed stupidly, "I forgot."

How?! Natsu would never usually forget about food…..

Happy turned to look at Lucy who instead of getting cross and yelling at Natsu, like she usually would, she was staring at him even more adoringly.

Sick bucket, now. Please.

With a quick, graceful, movement Natsu broke free from the ropes, ate the fire, caught Lucy, and kicked a cannibal that came charging at him.

"Great!" Happy cheered. "Now let's get out of here before – what the hell?!" Happy's eyes popped out of his sockets as he caught sight of Lucy and Natsu kissing. Lucy was still cradled in Natsu's arms as her own were happily wrapped round his neck. "IS THIS REALLY THE TIME TO BE KISSY-KISSY?!" Happy shrieked.

This caused Natsu and Lucy to break apart, they took one look at the cannibals that were staring at them curiously, and then another at Happy who was still mortified, and then glanced at one another…they then shrugged and went right back to kissing.

Damnit! Happy should have never given them that stupid potion that Mira gave him…..but she had offered him, in her other hand, a lot of delicious fish all rainbow colours…..