Summary: Natsu and Wendy are now crippled with a fear of doctors and physical examinations after their battle with Ophiuchus (They have no idea what's Gajeel's excuse) but that's okay, the guild is here to help them, and Lucy has her own fears…
Pairings: Implied Gray/Juvia, implied Mira/Laxus, Wendy/Charle friendship, Lucy/Levy friendship, implied Cana/Gray (if you squint hard), implied Romeo/Wendy, implied Gajeel/Levy, implied Natsu/Lucy, and general friendship and family feels.
YouTube Prompt: Gray/Juvia or Natsu/Lucy video to 'Beautiful Stranger' by Madonna.
The normal chaotic noise of the guild died an instant death one day when Porlyusica stepped in quietly, slammed the door, and glowered at them. Some may or may not have screamed a little but overall they stood dead in their tracks in fear and stared horrified at the elderly medic.
"It is that time of year again, you stupid brats," Porlyusica sneered, "Physical examinations, now!"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Several members tried to run for it, it was quite normal for the likes of Laxus, Gajeel, Cana and even Master to try and leg it from a physical examination as none of them particularly enjoyed being prodded at and being told how unhealthy their lifestyle was. No, what surprised them was that Wendy and Natsu joined in the screaming and running away.
Charle swopped down and carried Wendy out of the guild before they could even blink while Natsu punched his way out from the crowd the guild had been forming (much to Gray's irritation but when he tried to retaliate Juvia held him back and sighed rather weirdly into his naked skin) and leaped out of the window before anyone could reach him.
Gajeel took the advantage of the distraction that Natsu and Wendy caused to edge closer to the window. "I'm outta of here," he announced, "Later suckers!" he yelled over his shoulder as he jumped out of the window.
"Oh no!" Juvia cried out. "Juvia forgot to guard Gajeel! Juvia was very distracted some reason…." At this point she started to drool as Gray unbuttoned his shirt again.
"Keep that on!" Porlyusica barked. "I don't know how many times I have to tell you that you don't need to strip for my examinations. I'm not that sort of person."
"Sorry!" Gray mumbled as he quickly re-buttoned his shirt. "I didn't even realise I was doing it."
"Mm…."
"Juvia doesn't mind!" Juvia called out.
"Neither does Cana!"
"Love Rival!"
"SHUT UP, YOU SILLY GIRLS I'M TRYING TO DO MY JOB!"
"It's odd that Natsu and Wendy acted like that," Lucy mused once her own examination was finished (she had been given a perfect bill of health though Porlyusica raised an eyebrow at Lucy's latest bruises from her most recent adventure.). "They never used to mind their examinations. In fact Wendy loves spending time with Porlyusica-san."
"It's because of Ophiuchus!" Happy explained. "During that battle when all the spirits turned evil, Ophiuchus had turned into an evil nurse, and kept giving us medical treatment," at this point Happy shuddered, "I am never going to look at needles the same way again."
"How frustrating," Porlyusica muttered as she held up a shot with a rather shiny needle, "just when you need your booster shots as well."
"EEK!"
No one paid Happy any attention as he tried to fly away from his jabs only to be pinned down to the ground by Lily and stabbed with the needle by Porlyusica in the bottom. His wailing and sobbing was also ignored.
"This is silly!" Levy declared irritably. "Natsu, Gajeel, and Wendy can't avoid their annual examinations forever. There has to be a way to get all three of them to turn up to their physical."
"Hmm," Mirajane murmured as she stroked her chin thoughtfully. "Aha!" she smiled brightly as if she wasn't standing on Laxus' head so he wouldn't be able to escape from his physical examination. "I have just the perfect bait for them." At this she turned her eyes onto Levy, Lucy, and Romeo, an evil gold glint flickered in her eyes.
"Lu-Chan," Levy trembled, "I'm scared."
"So am I, Levy-Chan!" Lucy hugged Levy to her chest. "So am I!"
"Dad," Romeo gulped, "why is Mira-nee looking at me weirdly?"
FTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFT
It happened to be very easy to find Gajeel, Natsu, and Wendy, for some reason (that will forever be unknown) they were all hiding in the same Sakura tree, Gajeel and Natsu were trying to shove one another off the branches while Wendy curled up on the lower branch snuggling into Charle's soft white fur. Mirajane greeted them all with a warm smile.
"You know," she said sweetly, "Porlyusica won't leave until she's examined everyone and that includes you three."
"Hn," Gajeel grunted.
"I don't need one," Natsu said stubbornly, "I'm healthy as a horse, whatever the hell that means."
"I can do my own examination," Wendy said somewhat stiffly. "Tell Porlyusica-san I'm sorry," she added shamed-face as she realised how rude she must have sounded.
Mirajane continued to smile, unbothered by this. "Are you sure you don't want a physical examination you three?" she prodded them. "Because we have three very kind nurses who have volunteered their time to help examine you."
Gajeel, Natsu, and Wendy all shared bewildered looks as Mirajane stuck two fingers in her mouth and whistled. Then suddenly, looking very embarrassed, Levy, Lucy, and Romeo shuffled out from behind a tree. Levy was wearing a very tiny white nurse outfit that made her legs look longer than usual, it's matching hat seemed fixed on her blue locks, and she held a clipboard nervously too her chest and fiddled with her wind-reading glasses that added to the look. Lucy, however, seemed to be bursting out of her nurse's uniform as it seemed to be two sizes too small, unlike Levy's which had been a turtle neck dress, Lucy's was low cut and really emphasises her chest. Romeo simply wore blue scrubs which looked more like pyjamas than anything else.
Gajeel choked on a metal filing that he had been chewing on. "Shrimp?!" he cried out.
"Lucy?!" Natsu yelped, his eyes bugging out of his sockets.
"Romeo-kun!" Wendy blushed shyly. "You….you have come to help me?"
"Erm, yeah Wendy," Romeo shuffled awkwardly as he avoided looking at Wendy's pretty, shiny, hopeful face. "What are friends for?" he asked as he smiled sweetly at her. "If you really don't like physical examinations then I'll hold your hand while Porlyusica checks everything out."
Wendy couldn't resist smiling back as her shoulders slumped back into a relaxed posture. "Okay," she said timidly and then she jumped off the lower branch, took Romeo's hand, and allowed him to lead her back to the guild building.
Charle tutted, rolled her eyes, and followed to ensure that Romeo wouldn't take advantage of her charge. Levy then turned to Gajeel who hadn't been able to look away from her since she appeared. "I'm here for you too," she said sincerely, "I'll hold your hand while Porlyusica makes sure everything is all right. I know you find it invasive but she won't hurt you."
"I'd much rather if you give me the examination," Gajeel growled. Normally, it would be a rather sweet thing to say but Gajeel added a suggestive wiggle of the eyebrows and a leer that Macao and Wakaba would be proud of. "If you know what I mean," he added needlessly.
Levy flushed and chucked her clipboard at him. It missed, unfortunately. "Its hold your hand or nothing!" she yelled.
"Fine!" Gajeel snapped as he leaped down from the tree. He snatched Levy's hand and dragged her back to the guild. "Let's go and get this over and done with then, Shrimp."
Lucy didn't even get to open her mouth to make a similar offer. Natsu had already grabbed hold of her hand and started to head back in and when he decided she was going to slow, he swept her off her feet and carried her over his shoulder.
Lucy was all for supporting her friend but she didn't know why she had to sit on Natsu's lap while Porlyusica was examining him.
It didn't exactly help….
FTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFT
"Now all that unnecessary drama is over," Porlyusica snapped as she packed away her medical supplies. "I am glad to say I don't have to see any of you for another year. Apart from you," she shot a particularly disdainful look at Droy. "We'll deal with your diabetes later."
Droy merely wept into a handkerchief while Jet patted him on the back sympathetically. Porlyusica nodded at everyone, spared a rare smile for Wendy, and then happily stormed out of the guild with great hopes she won't have to do this until next year (but knowing her luck some moron – Natsu – would get severely injured and she'd have to deal with a huge crowd of annoying brats in her cottage).
"Right then, you stupid brats," Master snapped, "Now that is over you can all go and clean your teeth," Master ordered them, "your annual dentist appointment is this afternoon and I-"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Master sighed heavily in defeat as several of his children screamed and already made a run for it out of the guild doors. "Someone go after them please," he said wearily, "I'm getting too old for this nonsense."
It was no surprise that Laxus had to carry a kicking, screaming, Erza back into the guild building. Erza has never enjoyed a dentist visit since her very first cavity at her very first meeting after spending six months eating nothing but cake and chocolate for breakfast and lunch. It was also no surprise that Gray had to drag a whinging Cana back into the guild, Cana and the dentist hadn't gotten along since the dentist suggested alcohol was bad for her teeth. And it definitely didn't surprise anyone that the likes of Gajeel, Romeo, and Wendy tried to run away as well.
No, what really surprised everyone was that sensible, responsible, and occasionally boring, Lucy was the one that had to be dragged kicking and screaming to the dentist by Natsu, who just whistled cheerfully as he looked forwards to having his teeth checked out by that awesome drill again.