Summary: The last of my Sleeping Beauty oneshots! Sometimes you have to be careful where you choose to sleep especially in the guild building…

Pairings: Macao/Wakaba, implied Gray/Juvia is you squint, mentions of Natsu/Gray, and general friendship feels.

YouTube Prompt: Crack video, any of your two favourite male characters to the song 'If You Were Gay' from the Avenue Q Musical.

It was Macao's fault.

He was the moron that decided to fall asleep in the guild building. You know, the one building in the entire world that could have five brawls, one fire, three flooding's, and a wild party all before nine o'clock in the morning? Who sleeps there unless they're a fucking moron or been brutally murdered (or just completely drunk like the entire guild that one time….)?

It started simply enough.

Natsu shouted something, Gray made a snide comment, Natsu punched Gray, Gray punched Natsu back, and the rest was history.

Macao, who had apparently only just come in from a job that took all night, had fallen asleep right in the middle of the guild, in a chair that used to be tucked under the table, but Elfman had used that table to try and knock Nab about, his head tilted back, loud snores which were quiet in comparison to the fighting going on around him, and a tiny bit of drool at the corner of his lips.

Wakaba had been in the middle of blowing smoke in Freed's face (who was whinging like a girl and doing very little to fight back) when Bickslow suddenly grabbed hold off him and flung him across the room.

Wakaba went flying until he crashed into Macao, and the pair of them landed on the floor with a loud thump. Wakaba's cigar fell out of his mouth just as his lips landed on top of Macao's lips.

…..

There was utter silence as everyone stopped to see what happened. Several people choked a little, some dropped things that made loud noises on the floor (such as Mirajane and the glass she was drying and Cana with her barrel, and Lucy with her book she was trying to read), and even Natsu and Gray stopped trying to strangle one another to watch the strangest sight in the world (though they still had their hands on each other's throats which made Juvia a little nervous).

Macao spluttered as he felt ash go down his throat, his eyes shot open, and when he caught sight of Wakaba being all over him, he screamed.

"WHAT THE FUCK?!"

Macao pushed Wakaba away, who tried to scoot as far from his best friend as possible, and the pair of them spat on the floor in disgust.

It was too late though.

The damage was already done.

"Oh my!" Mira gasped "I never realised you two were so close."

"Oui!" Reedus agreed. "I have shall have to capture this rare and beautiful moment of homosexual love for our fans."

(He then proceeded to paint the bodies of Macao and Wakaba entwined and kissing but for some reason their faces looked astonishingly like Natsu and Gray, when asked, after Max started selling these posters, Reedus will explain that no one wants to think of Macao and Wakaba snogging but there were a lot of fans that liked Natsu and Gray snogging…..sadly not much money will be made from these posters as they all went up in flames or were 'mysteriously' frozen over…..)

"Macao-san and Wakaba-san are in made deep boy love!" Juvia cried out. "Just like Natsu-san and Gray-sama are right now with their arms all over one another!"

"NO WE'RE NOT!"

Macao, Wakaba, Natsu, and Gray all shouted this as they leaped away from one another. "I'm married, for Christ sake!" Wakaba protested.

"Yeah," Bickslow snickered, "to a woman that looks more like a man than we all do, and has suspiciously never made an appearance at the guild in all her life."

"I was married!" Macao pointed out furiously. "To the most stunning girl in the world."

"And now you're divorced," Cana drawled, "I wonder why."

"WE'RE NOT GAY!"

"IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!"

"IT WAS HIS FAULT!"

"MY FAULT?!"

"YOU WERE THE ONE THAT SLEPT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE GUILD BUILDING!"

"YOU'RE THE ONE THAT MOLESTED ME!"

"I DID NOT!"

"DID TOO!"

"DID NOT!"

"SHUT UP!" Master roared furiously causing everyone to jump out of their skins. "Thank you," he said much more quietly once everyone was silent. "You two!" he pointed angrily at Wakaba and Macao. "Are my eldest brats and therefore you should set an example. I want no molesting and bickering in front of the others, it would give them the wrong idea." As if to prove his point Juvia was stroking Gray's abs, Natsu was trying to squeeze Lucy's breasts, Jet and Droy were screaming at one another, and Elfman was just shouting as usual while Evergreen tried to shut him up with her fan. "Keep your relationship troubles to yourselves!"

"We're not in a relationship!"

"Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight….."

"We're not!

"Dad," Macao turned to find Romeo tugging on his jacket and his looked up at him with his big, innocent, if slightly disturbed, violet eyes. Macao melted instantly. "Wakaba isn't going to be my new Mum, is he?"

And that was the final nail in Macao's coffin…..