Summary: Dialogue blatantly stolen from Big Bang Theory. A Dungeons and Dragons game takes a different turn when Juvia dies….

Pairings: Gray/Juvia, Gajeel/Juvia friendship, Erza/Juvia friendship, Sisterly Erza/Gray, implied Natsu/Lucy if you squint, implied Gray/Lucy, and general other friendship feels.

YouTube Prompt: Gray/Juvia and Natsu/Lucy video to 'Like a Virgin' by Madonna.

The fact that Natsu had hobbies that didn't involve eating, fighting, sleeping in her bed, and annoying Gray, always shocked Lucy. It took her weeks to get over the fact he fished seeing as he had no patience for it but when she found out he was a Dungeons and Dragons fanatic she was floored.

(She was even more floored to discover that Gray, Erza, Cana, and Levy also enjoyed a good game of Dungeons and Dragons.)

However, after being dragged to multiple games, and being forced to invent her own character, Lucy could see why Natsu would enjoy it and had started to enjoy playing the rare game time afforded them as well.

And that, is why Natsu, Gray, Gajeel, Erza, Levy, Cana, and Juvia were all sitting on the plush carpet in her apartment round a board as Lucy sat in her beanbag, master of all, with her notepad.

This time it was her turn to be Game Master and she had devised a chilling tale where their guild master had been kidnapped and it was up to the others to save him. She just revealed the secret passage when Juvia, who has gotten far too enthusiastic about this, interrupted.

"Enough of that!" Juvia shouted. "Juvia is going in. hang on Master! Juvia is coming for you!"

"Okay," Lucy said, a little taken aback by the sparkles that Juvia seemed to release in her excitement and determination. "You enter a room full of weapons, you hit a tripwire and," she rolled the dice, "a cannon hits you in the face. You're out of the game."

Gajeel face-palmed, Gray looked vaguely annoyed, Cana and Natsu howled with laughter, while Levy just sweat-dropped slightly.

"A Cannon?" Juvia blinked disbelievingly "Juvia is out of the game?"

"Lucky," Gajeel grunted.

As if he hadn't been the one to insist he was coming to, Lucy rolled her eyes at him. "Moving on," she cleared her throat.

"Wait!" Juvia cried out. "Does anyone have a-a—a rod of resurrection because if you do Juvia needs one really bad. Juvia cannot have Love Rival seduce Gray-sama in the game in disguise of an ogre or something." Lucy's protests, Gray disgusted shout, Natsu's sudden glare, and Gajeel trying to point out that that won't be the case was instantly ignored as Juvia carried on. "Juvia needs to return to life to help Gray-sama rescue Master!" she wailed as tears began to roll down her cheeks. "Come here with your rod and give it to me!"

Cana lost it again and ended up rolling on the floor in hysterical laughter. Levy too had to try and cover her mouth as giggles began to pour out of it, Natsu, however, just edged away in fear, Erza turned a bright red, Gray and Lucy flushed a similar pink-ish colour of embarrassment, and Gajeel face-palmed again.

"You really need to say these things in your head before you say them out loud."

That had been Gajeel's sage, but grumpily delivered, advice but it was unfortunately drowned out by Juvia's shriek of sheer delight as Gray had chosen that exact moment to stand up, Juvia's face was mere inches away from his crotch, and pull his boxers off.

"Gray-sama is saving Juvia with his actual rod of resurrection!" Juvia squealed delightedly. "Juvia can feel it working already….oh dear…." And that was when Juvia slumped back onto the floor unconscious as her nose bleed rapidly.

"What?!" Gray shrieked. He ducked down to see that his boxers were now at his ankles. "Oh crap! Not again!"

"Oi! Ice-pop!" Gajeel barked. "What do you think you're doing waving your rod of resurrection in my best friend's face? I oughta pound you to death!"

Cana cackled at that. "Someone else needs to say things in their heads before they say them out loud," she muttered to Levy who was outright giggling now.

"Gray!" Erza snarled furiously. "You dare besmirch the virtue and innocence of Juvia while we're playing an innocent game of D&D?!"

"It's not like that!"

"And Gajeel!" she whirled round to glower at the tall, wild-looking, dragon slayer. "You dare make a threat to my brother's virginity?!"

"What the fuck?!"

It was then when Gajeel, furious with everything as usual but mostly Gray, punched Gray, Gray punched him back, and Erza swiftly punched the pair of them at the same time.

"Oi!" Natsu yelled. "You can't have a fight without me!"

Lucy's eyes widened in horror as Natsu leaped on top of Gajeel and the fight grew into outright brawl. "My apartment!" she wailed.

And that, is why Lucy will never allow anyone play Dungeons and Dragons in her apartment anymore.