Summary: Evergreen has trouble sleeping while she stays at the Strauss house.
Pairings: Evergreen/Elfman, Mirajane/Evergreen friendship, Lisanna/Evergreen friendship, and Sibling Mirajane/Elfman/Lisanna.
YouTube Prompt: A crack video for Lucy and all the guys she gets paired off with to 'That Don't Impress Me Much' by Shania Twain.
Evergreen began to regret agreeing to ever having dinner with Elfman in his cottage with his sisters.
Not that there had been anything wrong with the dinner, even if the nosey company of Mirajane and Lisanna was less than desired, in fact dinner had been delicious as the Strauss siblings pulled out all the stops with a proper home cooked roast, with seasonal vegetables fresh from the garden, and a fine vintage of wine (a gift from Cana apparently), and a scrumptious pie with custard for desert. No, dinner had been a surprising delight, the problem was with what happened afterwards.
While they had been enjoying their meal and having a good laugh overall, storm clouds had gathered over Magnolia, and by the time Evergreen had been ready to return home to Fairy Hills, the heavens had opened up.
"Oh dear!" Mirajane exclaimed. "It looks like you'll have to stay here for the night, Evergreen. We can't have you go out in that horrible weather, you'd catch your death."
"It'll be fine," Evergreen shrugged, "could I lend an umbrella?"
There was a loud crack of thunder and a flash of lightning which seemed to cement Mirajane's conviction for Evergreen to stay the night. "Nope, definitely not," she shut the door and locked it. "You're staying with us, where it's safe, and warm, and not raining buckets. After all, what sort of big sister would I be if I let my brother's girlfriend go out in that?"
"I'm not his girlfriend!"
"Nee-Chan!" Elfman shouted as he flushed a bright pink. "Ever isn't my girlfriend!"
"Now don't you worry," Mirajane continued as if they had said nothing, "I already have the spare bed sorted out, and here is a change of clothes, I'm afraid they might be a little on the small side, they were Lisanna's from before her death."
"Can't we just call it before I went missing?" Lisanna wrinkled her nose.
She was also ignored.
Before Evergreen knew it, she was handed a pair of old, pastel pink (blee!) PJs, a spare toothbrush, shown where the bathroom is, and then herded into a spare bedroom where a bed was already made.
…..was it just her or did this just stink of a set up?
FTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFT
Sleep evaded Evergreen, and it was this evil bed's fault.
There was something lumpy, and hard, and irritatingly difficult to find in her bed. Every time she rolled over into a comfy spot, the evil thing followed her. She could feel it poking against her hipbone, bruising her thigh, making her stomach uncomfortable, making it difficult to sleep on her back, and she was damn sure this evil thing smacked her in the head at one point.
She had been on the verge of ripping the bed apart in order to find the damn evil thing but she remembered she was at the Strauss house. The home of the sweet Mirajane and kind Lisanna, and…..well Elfman, no one would forgive her if she vandalised their spare room.
Hell, she wouldn't forgive herself. She could just picture the look of disappointment on Elfman's face as he told her how unmanly it was to destroy someone's guest bedroom especially one as beautifully decorated as this one, completed with a homemade patchwork quilt and the softest pillows (when there wasn't something evil, small, and hard rolling about in them).
Evergreen smothered an irritated shriek as the moment she settled back into the feathery pillows, something rolled and pinched her bottom, she leaped out of the bed, pulling the blanket with her and tried to sleep on the floor.
The cold, hard, wooden floor with a thread-bare rug on it….
Okay, the bed was the better option, even if it meant having to share it with something from hell.
Evergreen managed to curl up tightly in the corner of the bed and within seconds she was just about to sleep when-
"Ouch!"
The evil thing, whatever it was, rolled underneath her thigh.
Evergreen whimpered.
She was never going to sleep.
FTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFT
Evergreen looked like death.
Her hair was standing on end, all over the place, her glasses were sliding down her nose, and she had large dark circles under her eyes that worried Lisanna. Along with the violet black bruises scattered on her arms and the back of her shoulder.
"Did you sleep all right, Evergreen?" Lisanna asked.
"Hmmph," Evergreen grunted over her coffee. Mirajane placed a plate of bacon and eggs in front of the mousy brunette and smiled warmly down at her. "Thank you," Evergreen managed to mumble before she slumped forwards.
"Oh dear!" Mirajane clasped her cheek worryingly, "I suppose this means you weren't so comfortable last night, after all."
"No!" Evergreen suddenly sat up alert. "It was fine!" she added hastily. "Thank you for having me! I really ought to go though, I'm supposed to be going on a job with Freed, Bickslow, and Laxus."
"I insist Elfman should walk you then," Mirajane said sternly, "I don't want you collapsing on your way home without someone to catch you."
"Escorting ladies home is MANLY!"
"Shut up!"
Lisanna watched amused as Evergreen seemed to regain enough strength to argue with her big brother the entire way out of the house and down the lane, and probably all the way to the guild building too, she turned back, giggling, to her breakfast, and then eventually moved to help Mirajane clean up.
Soon enough they were in the spare bedroom to take the bedding for a wash. "It is a bit curious though, isn't it?" Lisanna asked as a thought occurred to her. "I mean that Evergreen suffered so much in the night. I've slept on that mattress before and I never had a problem with it before."
"Well," Mirajane said a little bit sheepishly as she pulled out a small, vividly green, pea out from the mattress, "that might be because I cursed this to be as hard as a diamond and to make her night a misery."
….
Lisanna's jaw dropped wide open. "Mira-Nee!" she shouted, outraged, "How could you?!"
"What?" Mirajane raised an eyebrow. "I had to make sure she was actually worthy of my little brother!" she said hotly, "and this," she proudly held up the pea and beamed warmly, "proves that if she could live through that without complaining, she could definitely live with Elfman."
Lisanna merely sweat-dropped in reply.
She will never understand her big sister's logic.