Summary: Inspired by the Murder Mystery of the Fairy Tail Guild by Kit-Cat Star. There is a murderer lurking round the guild, and Natsu is going to kill him….

Pairings: Natsu/Lucy, implied Gray/Juvia, implied Gajeel/Levy, and general friendship feels.

Author's Note: Thank you for giving me over thirty three hundred reviews! And so quickly as well!

It was thundering and lightning outside. Usually this wouldn't bother the guild much as they had nothing to fear from a storm with Laxus around to eat everything but now…..now Laxus was dead, bludgeoned to death by some mad manic that might very well be one of them.

And he wasn't the only one, Gray, Loke (who had joined them for the night's entertainment), Freed, and even Cana were all horribly murdered as well. No one knew who was going to be next, no one knew who to trust, and that was terrifying.

Happy floated in front of everyone as they gathered in front of the fireplace. He was dressed in a beautifully made miniature Sherlock Holmes costume (hand sewn by Mirajane apparently) and smoked a pipe that blew out bubbles.

"I have investigated every clue and fish," he announced (Charle and Lily face palmed at the mention of fish while everyone else sweat-dropped a little), "I have looked at all the a-lullabies-"

"Alibis," Levy corrected him.

"Yes, that," Happy agreed, "and I came to the one conclusion possible. Only one person had motive. Only one person had a connection to everyone that died. Only one person who could have done it…." Everyone leaned forward as Happy began to pace backwards and forwards in the air as he smoked his pipe. More bubbles floated out as he built up the tension with his silence, he then suddenly whirled round and pointed;"The murderer was Lucy!" he declared.

"WHAT?!"

Lucy looked entirely unbothered by the accusation. She gave a small twirl, causing the skirts of her black flapper dress to swirl against her stocking covered legs, narrowed her black outlined eyes, pursued her red lips over the cigarette holder, and then blew smoke confidently. "Oh really, kitty," Lucy raised an eyebrow. "And how did you figure that one out?"

"One, you have been unable to give a proper alibi, going to the toilet does not count" Happy held up one claw, "two," he held up another, "you know everyone who had been murdered intimately, and three your motive is that you're jealous that they all look better in a dress than you!"

"….."

Several people collapsed at the sheer stupidity of that deduction, Charle and Lily sincerely wished they were no longer the same species as they face palmed again, and everyone else sweat-dropped apart from –

"I ought to tear your whiskers off!" Lucy shrieked as she tried to catch Happy's tail. "What do you mean Loke and Gray look better in a dress than me?!"

"Gray-sama looks better in anything than everyone!" Juvia cried out joyfully. "Juvia has yet to meet another person that makes mud look so attractive. Ah Gray-sama!"

"You," Gajeel grunted, "have problems."

"Notice that she didn't mention Laxus and Freed?" Bickslow whispered to Evergreen.

"Well, Laxus-sama would look better in anything," Evergreen shrugged, "and we know Freed makes a very pretty woman."

It was then the pair of them collapsed into giggles, Elfman began shouting how unmanly it was for Lucy to have murdered their fellow guild mates, Juvia began wailing how unfair it was Gray-sama was dead, and Natsu scratched his head in confusion.

"Lucy," Mirajane put a hand on Lucy's arm. "Perhaps it's best if we went back to the matter at hand and act in character."

"Oh," Lucy blinked and the confident sneer replaced her indignant anger. "So Detective Kitty," she swaggered back to the fireplace and picked up the Martini before swigging it. "What is your evidence?"

"The scarf that was used to strangle Freed look very familiar," Happy began, "it was then I realised it was your scarf that was used and then tucked into Freed's jacket, and then the hot poker used to stab Gray was covered in your fingerprints, while-"

"All very convincing," Lucy said weakly, "but there's just one problem with that evidence."

Happy blinked. "What?"

"I'm currently being murdered."

And that was when Lucy fell down in the strangest of fits as she choked on her own spit and her whole body trembled. Everyone watched in horror unable to move until she finally fell into a silent slump…dead.

"Lu-Chan!" Levy cried out horrified as she buried her head into Gajeel's chest. "No, no, not Lu-Chan!" she moaned.

"Damn," Gajeel muttered as he patted Levy's head, "I actually thought the stupid cat was right, and she was the killer."

Everyone else grumbled or acted distressed, some were convincing, like Juvia who was now openly weeping over the fact that Love Rival and Gray-sama were together in death, or Wendy who actually looked rather frightened, while others were a bit stiff, like Elfman shouting once again how unmanly it was to poison a woman, and Erza who kept stuttering.

Natsu, however, fell onto his knees, a look of horror covered his face as he gathered Lucy into his arms. She was so still….so cold….so….lifeless… "No…." he whispered. "No….NO!" he threw his head back and screamed. "LUCY! LUCY DON'T BE DEAD!" he shouted to heavens. "COME BACK LUCY!"

"Natsu…."

"I WILL FIND YOUR KILLER!"

"Natsu."

"I WILL HUNT HIM DOWN AND TEAR HIM APART. I WILL PAY HIM BACK A HUNDRED TIMES OVER FOR WHAT HE HAS DONE TO YOU!"

"Natsu!"

"I SWEAR…..I SWEAR….Lucy…."

"Natsu!" Lucy croaked against Natsu's chest. "I can't breathe! And you're crushing my ribs! For the love of God, let me go!"

Startled, Natsu was easily pushed off of Lucy who panted for air desperately. He stared, gobsmacked, Lucy's make up was all smeared, her face was a little flushed, and her feather headdress was lopsided, but overall she was alive.

"You're alive!" he cried out delightedly before he pulled Lucy into another bone crushing hug. "But how?!"

"Can't breathe!"

"How are you alive, Lucy?!"

"Natsu," Lisanna said exasperated, "she wasn't really dead to begin with! Like the others, she was only pretending to be murdered, once we moved to the library she was going to go up to Master's office and sit with the others."

("I bet you five jewels that they're playing strip poker up there," Wakaba muttered to Macao.

"Dude," Macao shook his head, "its Gray, Loke, and Cana. Of course they're playing strip poker. What kind of sucker do you think I am?"

"Fair enough…..I bet you five jewels that Laxus and Freed are the naked ones."

"…..deal.")

"What?!" Natsu yelped (he was still smothering Lucy against her chest which was definitely leaving red lip marks across his white shirt). "They've been faking it?! Why?!"

"Oh for Christ Sake," Gajeel face palmed. "Does anyone want to explain the rules to a Murder Mystery party to Salamander, again?"

(This, of course inevitably, led to a brawl as Natsu took offense to Gajeel treating him like an idiot, and to everyone else for pretending Lucy had been murdered, and then he took extra offense to the fact (now that the game had been utterly ruined) Mirajane revealed the murderer was supposed to be Natsu. "Natsu, did you not read my fact sheet on your character!" Mirajane hissed dangerously. "You killed everyone because you're a jealous, possessive, lover and Lucy was being a tart!"….soon enough another brawl started, and this was when Master came home to find his guild building destroyed, and five of his brats playing strip poker in his office…strangely enough Murder Mystery Parties ended up on the banned list.)