A few days after the start-of-term feast, Hermione was in the library to get some books she would need for the amount of homework she already had. She had left a few books already with her bag, wand and cloak at one of the tables to go and get the rest of her list.

She already had a small pile of books in her hands and was struggling to reach another one on a higher shelf. Without her wand, she couldn't just get it out of there and even on tiptoes, her fingers were barely brushing its spine.

So, when she heard the door being pushed open, she seized the opportunity.

"Excuse me," she quickly said, still trying to reach the book, "could you help me with that?"

After a few seconds, and because no one was approaching, she thought that the person hadn't noticed she was talking to them. She sighed as she let her arm fall back down. She stretched it before she turned around to go and get her wand, when she realised that someone was staring at her. Draco Malfoy was leaning against the first shelf near the entrance, holding his snigger in. Hermione closed her eyes, hit by the realisation that she had asked for his help.

When he detached himself from his spot against the shelf, she turned right back around.

"It's fine, I'll get it myself," she said, preparing herself for whatever idea he might have. If she could block the passage to the shelf, she would. She tried to reach for the book again, focused on not paying any attention to him.
Draco approached, still, and stopped next to her. He couldn't help but notice the books she was already holding in her arm, with an expression saying it all. He was like Harry and Ron, wondering why she would need all those books for. Then, he looked up to see that she was still desperately trying to even just touch the book. With a little smirk, he did the same.

Except he didn't have to get on tiptoes. He didn't draw out his want either, just to swipe the book right under — or above, rather — her nose, all the while avoiding to touch her hand.

She frowned and held out her hand.

"I really don't have time to play your little game, Malfoy. Give me my book," she said sharply. Malfoy's smile grew larger.

"That's not yours, so you need to say the magic word," he taunted her.

"Give me that book, Malfoy!" She repeated through gritted teeth just as Madam Pince passed near them. The woman stopped, glancing at them. Malfoy held in his laugh again by biting his lip and he handed her the book.

"Need help taking the entire library with you?" He asked, nodding towards the books in her hands. Hermione ignored the remark and surprised him instead.

"Are you sick? You look awful."

Draco raised a brow. Either she was just making fun of him, either she was asking because… well, because he looked sick. As he stared, taken aback, he could see her brown eyes detailing his face and he narrowed his own.
"Well, at least for me, it's just for today," he said. Hermione kept her words in. She couldn't even remember the last time she had let him see how hurtful his words could be. She just shook her head at his smirk, as in disappointment, and she walked away from him.

"Very funny, Malfoy."

.

At least, she didn't have many more reasons to complain about him following his accident with Buckbeak the same week, except maybe for the show he was putting on. It was obvious for Harry, Ron and Hermione that he was trying to get Hagrid sacked, and this wouldn't fly with them. But they had to admit, it was nice to have some peace, especially for Harry. Draco had been really hard on him since the train episode with the Dementor.

But Hermione could tell that Harry's mood was just about to get better; they were about to have their first class with Professor Lupin and they could hardly wait.

They were used to getting a different teacher every year for this class now, and quite frankly, they were afraid of getting Gilderoy Lockhart's level of awful again. But Lupin was a great surprise. They quickly realised that they were having not only a nice and encouraging teacher, but a very competent one at that.

Their first lesson was about Boggarts and they had a really fun time, especially with Neville turning Snape clothes into his grandmother's.

Draco didn't have fun though — and neither did Snape when he learned about the Boggart — and he simply stood in the back of the room to make sure he was at the very end of the line.

"What'd you reckon's Malfoy's biggest fear?" Ron asked Harry, glancing at their archenemy.

"Not being the center of attention, probably," Hermione said with a little smile, making both her friends chuckle. She had been incredibly mad at Malfoy because of his behaviour with Buckbeak and Hagrid, so, to the pleasant surprise of her friends, she wasn't holding back lately. She knew Draco's father could influence the situation greatly and she was really worried for the outcome of this whole mess.

Still, she couldn't help but notice that Malfoy seemed way healthier than he did at the beginning of the week. In spite of his recent stay at the hospital, he even looked better than he did back in the library. Maybe exaggerating his pain had been an excuse to get some rest. Their new teacher seemed to be feeling better too, actually. While being warm and welcoming, she had noticed that he also looked like he would drop unconscious if touched back on the train. Maybe he had just been really anxious about his new job?

.

When Harry's turn came and that Lupin took the matter in his own hands with the Boggart, no one noticed that Draco took a sudden step back when he saw the full moon the creature had turned into. He wondered if it would take this form for him as well, and he was glad to be escaping the answer, even if just narrowly.

He rolled his eyes when Lavender Brown wondered out loud why Lupin would be afraid of crystal balls, and he grabbed his bag to leave the room as soon as possible. He didn't even glance at his teacher, who he could feel was staring at him. Crabbe, Goyle and Pansy were on his heels but he didn't listen to his friend as she mocked Neville. He was still lost in his thoughts. He was wondering ; if Lupin's biggest fear was his transformation, did it mean that he wouldn't ever get used to the cycles? Would he ever handle them without fear, pain, anger or disgust?

Then, he couldn't help but wonder when Lupin had been bitten. Finally, he shook his head to try and get these thoughts to disperse and get lost in the meandering of his mind.

"I'm not hungry," he finally said, only addressing Pansy," I need to catch up on my work."

"D'you want me to come with?"

"I've already got your notes, it's fine. I'll see you after lunch," he simply said, unable to bring himself to meet her gaze.

.

"I'll see you guys after lunch," Hermione told Harry and Ron when they arrived in front of the Great Hall.
"You're not eating with us?" Ron asked. He turned only to see Hermione's back. She was already quickly walking away. "What got into her?"

"Don't know," Harry said with a shrug. They walked in the Great Hall, not thinking too much of it, too hungry and still hyped by Lupin's lesson, even if Harry was still bothered by his Boggart.

.

Hermione walked as fast as she could to the library, she couldn't waste a single minute. She walked in, greeted Madam Pince and she quickly sat at the table she was usually using. Hurrying like she was, she dropped her books on it, making more noise than she wanted to. Noise that got Malfoy to look up from his own work.

He frowned. Why was Granger sitting at the same table as him when there was hardly anyone else in the library at this time?

"There's plenty of space, Granger, why do you have to sit here?" He asked just loud enough for her to hear, but not for Madam Pince to scold him. Hermione had already her quill in hand when she was surprised by Draco's voice. She let out a heavy sigh and looked back down at her parchment.

"I didn't see you," she mumbled, scribbling fast. Draco looked around them and behind him, irritated. There really was no one else and he wasn't that hard to spot.

"Move," he said even though Hermione wasn't paying him any attention anymore. "Mudbloods don't sit the same table as me."

.

"Move then, because I'm here to work," she said shortly. Again, Draco frowned. What did she think he was there for? He let out a sigh loud enough for her to hear and she glanced at him when she heard him loudly close his book. She watched as he got up, dragging the book with him like a heavy weight. His other arm was in his splint and Hermione wondered if he was really in pain. Probably not. She started to write again.

"I was here first and all I get is orders from Granger," he mumbled to himself, dropping his book on another table. He came back to his previous seat to grab his bag. Then, he came back once again to take his quill and his rolls of parchments. He kept doing so for the two other books that were on the table but Hermione still didn't say a word, ignoring his stupid little game. She breathed deeply and she couldn't help but glance. Embarrassed when she noticed that he was staring, she rolled her eyes.

"You're so childish," she said.

He shrugged, tilting his head and nodding at his books. "Only got the one arm."

He took out an apple from his bag and bit into the fruit.

"So, still dragging the library around school?" He asked, not actually interested. But what could be the worst way to bother Granger? Distracting her from her work. It made him feel oddly satisfied.

"Shut up," she said quickly and he lost his smirk.

"Language, Granger, you don't get to tell me that," he said coldly.

"Don't you have something else better to do?" She snapped. "What are you doing here anyway?" She asked, staring at her parchment. Draco could see that her quill was moving way slower than before. She couldn't focus anymore.

"I need to catch up," he said, "I don't know if you've noticed but that Hippogriff attacked me."

"I noticed alright," she said, "you can't stop talking about it, or complaining like a baby. Everyone noticed. So why don't you catch up and leave me alone?"

"Why don't you shut your face," Malfoy said too quickly.

They stayed silent for some time, the calm only interrupted by the noise of Malfoy biting into his apple. Half an hour later, they heard the door being opened and muffled voices coming from the entrance. Distracted, Hermione glanced at Malfoy and watched him work for a moment. When she looked back down again, something hit her head. It was a ball of paper.

She looked up only to see Malfoy apparently reading before he wrote something down again. She opened the paper and let out a sigh when he saw a crude caricature of herself holding a paper with a bad grade. The animated drawing had tears streaming down her face and students pointing and laughing at her. When she looked up again, Malfoy was staring at her with this satisfied expression he had too often. She opened her mouth but someone talked before she could.

"Malfoy," called a voice on Hermione's left. They both looked at Snape, surprised. Apparently, he was the one who had come in and asked Madam Pince if Draco was there. He made a small and quick movement with his head to direct Draco to leave with him. This time, Draco put everything back in his bag quickly and he walked out just as fast.

Hermione's eyes followed him and stopped on Snape who was staring at her. Uncomfortable, her cheeks became warmer but she didn't look away. Snape's gaze drifted from her face to the piece of paper she still had in her hands. From where he was, he probably could discern the moving drawing. He slowly turned around to leave.

.

"I don't know, I think he's just acting like he always does," Ron said as he shrugged. He actually wasn't inspecting Malfoy's behaviour on a daily basis.

"I don't think so…" Hermione said. A few days had passed since the library incident and she had kept everything to herself at first. But since they had learned about Buckbeak's death sentence, she just couldn't stop talking about him anymore. "Well, yes, he's still the same idiot he's always been I guess, but he and Snape are acting… weird," she said.

"You're the only one caring about that."

"What do you think, Harry?" She asked, turning her head to look at her friend.

"Why are you asking me?" Harry didn't want to talk about this. He didn't care about Malfoy enough and he didn't even know what to say, he had too much on his mind already.

"I just feel like he's even worse than before, but… less natural," Hermione muttered.

They stopped mid-conversation when Malfoy arrived on the opposite side of the hallway, followed by Crabbe and Goyle. Pansy was a few feet behind with her gang of Slytherin girls. Again, Malfoy acted as if fainting when he walked past the trio, to which his friends had a good laugh.

"Ignore them," Hermione said, per usual.

"You know what, you're right, he's worse. He's probably just getting meaner every year and he'll end up like his father," Harry said, a rise of anger in his voice. Ron looked at Malfoy, who was walking away but looking back at them with his mean little smile. Ron looked daggers at him before he turned to his friends again.

"But really, you didn't notice anything?" Hermione continued. "The way him and Snape act, especially with Professor Lupin."

She was right, even Harry had noticed. He had noticed during the feasts, because of the way Snape and Malfoy would look at the new professor. Or because of the animated conversation they seemed to have had with Malfoy at the beginning of the year.

And Draco was the only one who truly disliked Lupin, really. And that was in spite of Lupin being just as nice to him as he was with every other student. But it didn't change anything. Draco was still insulting him after the classes, even if people weren't listening. Sometimes, he wasn't even hiding it, talking within earshot of Lupin. Harry couldn't understand why Lupin was keeping his calm, why he wasn't even removing points from his house.

"Maybe he'll end up actually fainting and will never wake up," Ron said dreamily. "I mean, look at his face. Looks like he's about to die every other month but that you don't hear him complain about."

"Just try to stay out of his way at Hogsmeade," Harry said with a sigh. He had to stay there while they were going to have fun and it made him sick to his stomach. All of this because of the Dursleys. Hermione and Ron promised to bring him back as much stuff as they could fit in their pockets before they finally left.

After that, Harry ended up in Lupin's office. It was a bit weird but they ran into each other and Harry saw his chance to talk about the Boggart and the Dementors. Well, at least, they were talking about it until Snape came in the room to give Lupin a strange potion. And given Lupin's face as he drank it, the taste was absolutely disgusting. All Harry could think of was that Snape wanted to poison his new teacher. Ironically, he also thought that if it was actual poison, he could at least give everyone the pleasure of offering some to Malfoy.

.

"So, what's the deal with you and Lupin?" Malfoy asked Snape on their way to the Whomping Willow.

The days were slowly passing at Hogwarts and the time of the first cycle of the school year had come. The moon wasn't out yet but the day was slowly reaching its end. Malfoy had his hands in his pockets and was acting more nonchalant than he actually felt. He had left his cloak in his dormitory as well as his sweater. He had already slightly loosened the tie over his white shirt, just to give himself the impression he could breathe better.

His hair was a mess and he looked so tired that Snape wondered how he could stand straight. He frowned and glanced at the boy.

"It is none of your concern, I am afraid," he said coolly.

"Oh, come on," Malfoy rolled his eyes. He caught sight of Snape's glare and fell silent again. Snape narrowed his eyes. It wasn't in Draco's habits to be talkative just before a full moon.

"I met him a long time ago. I didn't like him, nor his friends," Snape said, looking in front of him again. Malfoy frowned a bit dut didn't ask for more. He had been shut down a minute before and that had been enough for his changing mood.

But he was curious about Lupin. He didn't want to share his hidden place with him but the more he was thinking about it, the more he thought that it might be great to have someone to talk about all of this. Well, he always had his parents to talk to, as well as Snape in the school. But it just wasn't the same. They couldn't understand everything because they didn't share his condition. They were lucky enough not to be… werewolves. But Lupin was, and Draco had never actually met another one before.

Maybe Lupin would be able to understand what that void Draco was feeling deep down was. He would understand his pain, the loneliness, his anger and his questions.

Draco and Snape stopped in front of the huge tree and Draco only stared at it for a moment. Snape, as for him, was looking at the boy. He had some apprehensions and he could feel Draco's stress. In a way, Snape hoped it wouldn't go well just so that Draco would be left alone in the house. At the same time, he didn't wish to find a corpse in the morning.

Draco turned to Snape as he grabbed something from one of his back pockets.

"Could you take care of this for me?" He asked as he handed a thin envelope to his godfather. Snape raised an eyebrow and took the letter, staring at it. "My owl's in the owlery," he said as Snape turned the envelope in his hands. The word "Mother" was well-written in Draco's familiar's cursive. Snape nodded curtly. "Well then, I should go in."

His professor didn't say anything. He watched Draco as he turned and took care of the knot to go in the passage. Soon, he had disappeared and Snape turned around to leave when he noticed that Remus was standing not too far from him.

"When did you arrive?" He asked with a frown. Lupin glanced at the tree behind Snape.

"I just saw Draco going in," he answered as he approached, clearly in bad shape too. "Thank you again for the potion, Severus."

"My pleasure," Snape articulated slowly and Lupin snorted. He walked past him to approach the tree.

"Don't-" Snape started, slightly turning his head. Lupin stopped on the spot and listened. "Don't do anything to him."
The Wolfsbane potion was very useful, as it was allowing werewolves to keep their humanity, their mental abilities, and was often making them sleepy.

Lupin smiled a little.

"Protective, are we?" He asked, sounding amused.

Snape walked away.

.

Lupin didn't waste any more time than he already had and got into the passage. He did have to stop just before the entrance to the Shrieking Shack. It had been such a long time since his last full moon there… Despite hating the situation he was in at the time and to this day, conflicted feelings overwhelmed him. So much had changed since his time at Hogwarts, and so much had happened during his time at Hogwarts… he couldn't make the difference between nostalgia and his melancholy anymore.

When he started climbing the stairs, he heard footsteps coming from the inside. He kept on climbing, knowing that Draco was probably in the room with the bed, where Lupin had been spending his cycles when he was a student, before his friends came to play with him.

Inside, absolutely nothing had changed, everything Lupin had damaged during his school days was still there, every marks, everything. He looked around the house before he finally arrived in the room he was interested in. Draco was pacing up and down and Lupin stopped at the door, not wanting to intrude. He cleared his throat. Draco turned quickly, visibly started. Lupin couldn't measure how anxious he was, but Draco's wide eyes talked for his state of mind.

"Are you ok?" He asked, surprising the boy.

Draco stared, then nodded. He had already removed his tie and his shirt was opened. His chest was moving fast and Lupin got the feeling. He finally stepped in, sweeping the familiar room until his eyes found Draco again. There was even more damages than before. Draco was young, probably incredibly frustrated to be locked in there during his transformations. But from what he could see, he didn't seem to himself that much. Lupin's body was marked by so many scars that he avoided mirrors, but Draco seemed to lash out at his surroundings.

"Why don't you sit down?" Lupin asked softly. Draco opened his mouth, but no sound came out.

He couldn't understand why Lupin was so calm. How could he be? Was it the fatigue? Haw clenched, Draco walked away from his professor who simply sat on the mattress. Draco chose to stand in the corner of the room, crossing his arms as he leaned against the wall, looking everywhere but at Lupin.

"Are you really ok?" Lupin insisted, concerned. Was Draco's anxiety amplified by his presence? Or simple by the trauma of each and every transformation?

"I'm fine," Draco said shortly, a bit hoarse.

Lupin started to remove his shoes and socks. "Have you ever met another werewolf before?"

"No."

"I figured," Lupin said quietly before he stood up again, removing his sweater jacket before he began undoing the buttons of his shirt.

"Good for you," Draco mumbled, still not looking at him.

As kind as he wanted to be, the full moon rising was making Lupin easily irritable too and he did notice the note of frustration in his tone. "This is a good opportunity, Draco, you should consider acting differently."

"And you should stop treating me like a child!" Draco snapped back, fists clenched.

"Then stop acting like one!" Lupin said louder as he approached, getting Draco to step back against the wall.

They both realised their anger and Draco turned around to remove his own shirt. He didn't want to face Lupin anymore after that, he didn't want anyone to see his scar. His parents were the only one knowing what it looked like and he already hated that fact. But, even Draco had to admit, it wasn't half as bad as Lupin's body, from the glimpse he got.

"Look, I know what it's like," Lupin began, glancing at Draco's back. He could see how deep his breaths were. "But it's not my fault. I didn't ask for this."

There was a long, awkward silence, as Draco listened to Lupin. His professor sat back down. Draco wasn't the only one completely out of his depths, out of his comfort zone. Lupin hid his head in his hands for a few seconds, closing his eyes, trying to think straight. He could feel that it was close, now, they were slowly running out of time and he knew that Draco was feeling it too. He lifted his head and glanced at Malfoy again, who was slowly turning around. His arms were crossed again but not in anger this time. He was trying to hide his right side with his hand, at least as much as he could. Lupin immediately understood why and he looked down to respect Draco's privacy.

"When did it happen?" Draco asked very quietly, as if he wished Lupin wouldn't hear him. Lupin looked up at the boy, who was looking back at him as if he was afraid of something.

"I was about to turn five," Lupin said on the same tone. Draco looked back down again and Lupin moistened his lips. "Anything else you want to know?"

Draco briefly shook his head and leaned against the wall again. But after a few seconds, he changed his mind.

"Does it ever… gets better?"

Lupin smiled sadly. "The pain, you mean?"

The transformations were absolutely atrocious. Just their bones rearranging themselves was excruciating, and the change in their skin and everything else their bodies were going through was just as bad. He was probably about to destroy Draco's last hope about his condition but he couldn't lie to him, not about that.

Lupin stood up and approached the teenager, who felt completely trapped in his corner. He barely glanced at his teacher when he stopped in front of him.

"I'm sorry…" Lupin muttered. "It doesn't get better. It never will."

Draco bit his cheeks as his eyes watered. Lupin finally decided to completely remove his shirt, no matter how anxious he was about it. The fabric slid down his arms and fell on the ground, revealing the reality of his suffering.

"Look at me," he finally said. He was ashamed, he was full of hatred for his body, but he needed Draco to see it.

Draco mustered all the courage he had left to turn his head and discover the scars all over Lupin's chest. He stopped breathing, eyes detailing each and every scar.

"I know what it's like. It drives you mad. It hurts so much that you think the only way to stop it is to hurt yourself. You get aggressive and…" His voice was even lower, which helped keeping the quivering in check. "You feel like you can't control anything… but you can't let it get to you."

At that moment, Draco suddenly bent over, a moan of pain crossing his lips. Not able to help it, when another painful feeling hit him right in the guts, he grabbed Lupin's wrists, tears finally falling from his eyes.

He didn't want to turn. He never wanted to turn.

He looked up when he felt Lupin's hand on the back of his neck and even if Lupin was now only a blurry spot in his vision, he was reassured to know he was right there with him. Lupin's grip on his neck was tighter, sign of his own fight, but the pain of his nails in Draco's neck was buried under the beginning of his turmoil.

"Don't let it get to you, Draco, don't let it win," were the last words Draco heard before he let out a long scream of pain, his pupils dilating.