Tales of Fairies Chapter 216: Dice Games, a fairy tail fanfic

Summary: Cana makes the others play a naughty game….

Pairings: Natsu/Lucy, Gray/Juvia, Gajeel/Levy, Mira/Laxus, Bickslow/Lisanna, Alzack/Bisca, Romeo/Wendy, Elfman/Evergreen, implied one-sided Jet/Levy/Droy, implied one-sided Freed/Laxus, and lots of other friendship feels.

Authors' Note: Thank you so much for over THIRTY SIX HUNDRED reviews!

Cana was bored.

So very bored.

It was a rainy evening and everyone was packed in tight in the guild building. Levy was reading, Natsu and Gray were trying to wrestle without Erza noticing, and everyone else was mindlessly chatting.

It was definitely time to spice things up and have some fun. A small smirk spread across her face as Cana fumbled into her pocket, it grew when she found what she was looking for. "Hey," she called out to the others. "Let's play a dice game."

There was a brief moment of silence as everyone swapped questioning looks, and soon enough they were all shrugging and muttering their agreement.

"Sure."

"Why not?"

"Dice games are MANLY!"

"Awesome," Cana grinned, "right then, teams of two, it must be boy/girl unless you bat for the other team."

Lucy and Levy, being the cleverest of the guild, were instantly suspicious but everyone else was too eager to grab the right partner to notice exactly what Cana said.

"Gray-sama is Juvia's partner!" Juvia hissed viciously as she clamped an iron grip on Gray's arm. "Any Love Rival wants to play with Juvia's Gray-sama will have to go through Juvia first!" Juvia's eyes narrowed onto Lucy. "Juvia is watching you Love Rival."

"I don't want to be Gray's partner!" Lucy blanched.

"Good," Natsu draped an arm round Lucy's shoulders, "'cause you're my partner. Like always."

"I'm going to be Levy's partner!" Jet declared.

"No you're not!" Droy shouted. "I'm going to be Levy's partner."

"No, I am!"

At this point Levy's eye brow was twitching very badly as she sharply turned away from her bickering friends and stormed up to Gajeel, who had been sitting in the corner glaring at everyone, and snapped. "Would you please be my partner for the game, Gajeel?" as she shot a pointed glare at her teammates in hopes it would teach them a lesson.

…..it didn't. They were too busy crying noisily on the floor, especially since Gajeel snickered and accepted the offer. "Gihihi, sure thing Shrimp."

"LEVY-CHAN!"

"Never mind about Levy," Erza said somewhat soothingly, "You can fight over which one of you will be my partner instead."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Erza looked somewhat put out at both Jet and Droy ran out of the guild building screaming and crying. Fortunately though Erza was never a person to remain down and she instantly turned round and bullied Freed into being her partner. Freed agreed weepily as Laxus had apparently teamed up with Mirajane instead of him.

That was when Cana decided to turn to the others. The Exceeds opted out of the game (as Charle refused to partner with Happy, Lily didn't want to play, and there was no way in hell Happy was playing with anyone but Charle) and were keeping an eye on Asuka. Reedus, Nab, Warren, Vijeeter, Macao and Wakaba decided to just watch as Kinana and Laki both refused to play as well, Kinana because she felt someone had to be behind the bar and Laki because she thought it was childish. Max was sulking because no one agreed a broom can be his partner while everyone else was partner up. Gray struggling against Juvia's vice like grip, Lucy flushing as Natsu still hadn't let go of her, Laxus hovering by Mirajane, Gajeel and Levy standing near one another, Bickslow grinning at Lisanna, Elfman and Evergreen refusing to look at one another, Romeo and Wendy blushing at one another, Freed sniffling beside Erza, and finally Alzack and Bisca looking sickeningly in love with one another as always.

"Brilliant," Cana smirked, "now here are the rules. I'm the dice master, I roll the dice, and whatever the dice tells you to do you must do. Each partner takes a turn, first one to chicken out loses. We play until there's only one couple left. Clear?"

"Of course," Elfman agreed loudly, "It is unmanly to back down from a challenge!"

"I will never falter," Erza said steely, "I shall stand strong against my opponents."

"Ash Brain will back down first."

"Hell no, it'll be you Snow Fairy!"

"Both of you are going to lose against me!"

"If you guys can stop your pissing contest for one minute," Cana said dryly. "I will begin the game." The boys, Erza, and even Mira, all stiffened, smiled sheepishly, and nervously laughed as they sank back into their seated positions on the floor. "All right then, we'll start from my right side and make our way through the circle."

Cana then rolled the dice and gleefully threw them on the floor. They landed noisily against the wooden floorboards and glowed purple as two words appeared, one said 'suck' and the other said 'ear'.

There is a horrified silence as everyone stared at the dice with wide eyes.

"….Cana?" Lucy asked warily. Bravely taking charge and breaking the silence before it ended up taking over the night.

"Yes, Lucy?" Cana said far too sweetly.

"Where exactly did you get these dice from?"

"Oh," Cana waved a dismissive hand, "same place I got your dog toys," she smirked evilly."

All the girls froze in horror as they remembered at each and every one's birthday, they all received a large variety of weird and kinky sex toys….oh God they were all screwed!

"Dogs toys?!" Natsu screwed up his nose in confusion. "You don't have a dog. None of you do!"

"Let's play the game!" Lisanna said loudly in a false cheerful voice. "I believe its Erza's turn, right?"

"Yes," Erza said just as loudly and just as falsely cheerful, "Freed, are you going to honour the magic dice's wish?"

"I don't want to!" Freed cried, tears ran rapidly down his cheeks. "I didn't even want to play to begin with if it wasn't with Laxus-sama!"

"Very well," Erza nodded solemnly, "then I have no choice to act upon it for I am not losing because you are a big cry-baby!"

And with that, she swooped in, pulled Freed's earlobe between her lips and sucked. Poor Freed just sobbed even more and everyone started to wish they all went home instead of agreeing to this.

"Right!" Cana grinned. "Lisanna and Bickslow's turn next," she rolled the dice. "Caress cheek."

"Oh that's easy," Bickslow snorted disdainfully.

"Easy! Easy! Easy!"

And so the first round went on, Juvia happily took 'grope bum' while poor Gray half wished he hadn't taken his trousers off because Juvia had been a little too enthusiastic, Laxus happily obeyed 'bite neck' and left a mark on Mira's neck that Elfman considered to be 'INCREDIBLY UNMANLY!', and everyone else was left blushing after they were forced to touch one another,

"Romeo and Wendy's turn," Cana smirked evilly, "what will the dice demand from our sweetest pair, I wonder?" Romeo and Wendy swallowed and avoided looking at one another as Cana rolled the dice. "Suck c- hold hands!" Cana suddenly blurted as she slammed a hand over the dice. "It wants you to hold hands! Nothing else! Nothing R-rated here!"

Several people raised an eyebrow. "Now you develop a conscience?" Laxus drawled.

"I can easily swap the pairings and make it same sex!" Cana snapped.

Laxus immediately closed his mouth and refused to say anything while the other boys all blanched and shuddered at the thought.

Round two started without much drama though Freed still whimpered pathetically, Jet and Droy wailed when Gajeel and Levy hugged, and Natsu seemed determined to leave more than one love bite on Lucy's neck which led to Laxus' punching him so the game could continue, which of course started a brawl, until Cana chucked the dice at their heads….

They also lost Gray and Juvia (much to Natsu's delight) as poor Juvia couldn't handle the command 'kiss lips' and melted into a puddle of water, and they lost Romeo and Wendy as Cana hadn't been quite quick to hide the latest naughty command, and they ran away out of embarrassment.

Round three was when it got harder, no pun intended.

"Nibble," Cana smirked for the millionth time that night, "cock."

"Hell no!" Gajeel barked. "It doesn't matter how sexy Shrimp looks, there's no way she's biting my rod of iron-"

"Rod of iron?" Levy raised an eyebrow.

"- and quite frankly, I'm sick of you making us play out your sick fantasies. If you're that lonely then go and buy blow-up boyfriend. I'm outta of here."

"Yes!" Natsu pumped a fist in the air. "Gajeel is out of the game. That just leaves Laxus and Erza to beat!"

"Hey!" Bickslow cried out indignantly. "I'm still in the game too!"

"As am I!" Elfman snapped. "I am a manly competitor winning this game!"

"Not anymore," Evergreen snorted, "Gajeel is right. This is pathetic, I'm leaving, and if you ever want to 'caress my breast' again, you'll leave too."

…..and that was when Elfman and Evergreen left the guild, and everyone else shuddered at the implications.

"All right then, so that just leaves Natsu and Lucy, Laxus and Mirajane, Bickslow and Lisanna, Bisca and Alzack, and Erza and Freed," Cana counted off on her fingers, "who will be the next? Bisca and Alzack, it's your turn again," Cana rolled the dice, "You have….kiss shoulder!"

"Gladly!" Alzack grinned as he lovingly pressed his lips against Bisca's bare shoulder. "You're beautiful," he whispered against her skin.

"Oh Al!" Bisca sighed. "You say the sweetest things."

"Urgh," Laxus grumbled, "Kill me."

"Shh!" Mira hissed. "They're so romantic!"

"Moving on!" Cana said loudly before another fight broke out, or Alzack and Bisca scared everyone else off and Cana lost her entertainment. "Freed, Erza, you have to," another roll of the dice, "Kiss-"

"NO!" Freed screamed. "I won't play this game anymore. It's bad enough that I betrayed Laxus-sama with the touches from Erza-san this evening, I will not take it further by places my lips anywhere near her! I'm leaving!"

"Freed!" Erza growled as she pulled out her sword. "It is dishonourable to quit and abandon a lady!"

Everyone winced as they heard Freed scream and attempt to run away, Erza had caught him in no time at all.

"Bickslow," Laxus grunted, "You're out of the game too, go and help Freed."

"But-"

"Now!"

Sulkily, Bickslow and Lisanna both sloped off in order to rescue Freed which left the game with only three pairs to go. Cana was just about to roll the dice and see what torture she could force on Natsu and Lucy when a sudden dark aura loomed behind her.

"Cana Alberona!" Master roared. "What is this I hear about you making people act out sexual activities?!"

"Erm….well you see….."

Cana didn't get very far with a super cool explanation as Master instantly launched into a lecture why this game was incredibly inappropriate. He then turned on Laxus and gave him hell for allowing this to happen, which caused an argument between Laxus and Cana as Laxus tried to blame her for everything.

By the time Cana escaped (with a week-long ban from booze! How was she going to survive?!), Mira had gone back to her duties, Natsu was sulking while Lucy rolled her eyes at him, Alzack and Bisca were nowhere to be seen, and neither was Cana's dice.

"Natsu," she narrowed her eyes, "did you steal my dice?"

"No," Natsu grumbled, "That arsehole beat me to it."

"For God sake," Lucy rolled her eyes again, "since when did you ever need a set of dice to tell you to lick my…." She instantly trailed off as her cheeks burned brightly.

"Oh ho, ho," Cana chortled, "so you never needed your dog toy after all? Unless Natsu wasn't satisfying enough!"

"I'M SATISFYING!"

"NATSU, SHUT UP!"

(Meanwhile, as soon as they tucked Asuka into bed, Alzack pulled out the set of magic dice and Bisca smirked…..

…it really spiced up the marriage.)