Summary: For once it is the client who is unprofessional, not Fairy Tail.
Pairings: one-sided Lucy/OC and Natsu/Lucy.
Author's Note: Thanks to Tsubaki who had suggested the surname for this drabble.
"Hello," the very suave, Loke-looking, client purred as he took Lucy's hand and pressed a kiss on it. "I'm Mr Cockburn."
Natsu stiffened at this for two reasons. First, there was a giant arsehole who thought he could kiss Natsu's Lucy when he hadn't even met her before (he was even staring down Lucy's top like a big fucking pervert!), and secondly, Lucy had made Natsu swear on Happy's life to never laugh at the stupid surnames any of the people who employ them might have.
Natsu was stuck with the urge to punch this prick and laugh at him for having the most stupid surname Natsu has ever heard to date.
Neither would please Lucy, and so instead Natsu bit his fist while Happy had buried himself into Natsu's shoulder to smother his giggles.
Not that the client noticed, he only had eyes for Lucy….the pervert.
"That's a…..very misfortunate name," Lucy managed to choke out.
"Oh I think it's appropriate," the client smirked, "After all… my cock burns for you."
Natsu felt a vein burst in his forehead at that and he was certain his body had just spontaneously burst into flames because Happy shrieked and flew away from him.
How dare that fucking bastard speak to his Luce like that?!
What did he think he was, some sort of sex god? More like a fucking STD, after all everyone knows burning cocks was a symptom (everyone wished they could forget Gildarts run in with one a few years back).
Natsu tried to take a deep breath but it came out as snarled growl as his temper got the better of him.
Lucy better hurry up and get this job started before Natsu really lost it and sent that arsehole flying.
Lucy stared at the client in disbelief and disgust. There was several long, dragged out, silent beats, before Lucy made her decision….
"….I don't need rent money that much," Lucy turned around quickly and began to walk away. "Do what you like to him, Natsu."
"Wait!" Walking STD cried out. "But I actually need you to- EEK!"
Natsu grabbed the arsehole by the collar of his shirt, grinned ferociously, fangs out all the way, and held up a fireball in his other hand.
"How about I give you a real burning cock?"