Summary: I thought Master was a bit too quick to say no about Kemo-Kemo. Especially since no one knew what Happy was till the Edolas arc, so I thought there has to be a reason for it and this suddenly came out.

Pairings: Friendship and family feels.

Author's Note: Thank you so much for giving me over forty one hundred reviews!

It started not long after Happy joined the guild. Quite honestly it was inevitable, when one person has something that was cute, loyal, and gave cuddles without question, everyone else was going to want one too, and therefore it shouldn't be a surprise when one day a naked Gray came home cradling some sort of creature in his shirt.

"Gray" Master pinched the bridge of his nose, "what the hell is that?"

"What do you think it is, Gramps?" Gray asked snarkily. "It's my new cat!"

"No."

"What do you mean no?!" Gray yelled.

"I mean," Master said calmly, "You're not keeping it."

"Why the hell not?!" Gray yelled, having lost his temper entirely. "You let Natsu keep Happy!"

"Yes, because Happy is a cat with wings and a strange ability to talk. That," Master pointed at the creature in Gray's arms in disgust. "Is a chimera, and I'm not having the rest of the guild being poisoned because you didn't take care of it properly."

"It wouldn't poison the others! Okay…." Gray smiled sheepishly. "It might poison Natsu but – hey!" Gray suddenly looked indignant. "What do you mean 'because you didn't take care of it properly'?! I'm sensible! More than Natsu! And he's got a cat!"

"Natsu has proven that he could take care of a pet as evident by the fact his pet is still alive," Master pointed out, "your first pet died the day you got it."

"Because Happy ate it!"

"Who leaves a goldfish on the floor in the first place?!"

"Natsu was pissing me off!"

Master looked sternly at Gray as if to say 'you're only proving my point' which caused Gray to huff, throw an arm in the air, and shout; "Fine! I'll take it back! But you're totally playing favourites here, Gramps!"

"Whatever makes you sleep at night."

FTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFT

"LEVY MCGARDEN! YOU WALK RIGHT OUT OF THIS GUILD AND RETURN THAT PET RIGHT NOW!"

Team Shadow Gear jumped at that. They had only come home mere seconds ago from their tiresome, dirty, mission that involved fighting a hoard of snake poachers. They were exhausted, hungry, cold, and had many minor injuries that needed attending to, not that Levy cared she had just been in the middle of showing off her new pet to Cana when Master suddenly swooped down on her and terrified the living daylights out of them all.

"B-b-but it's just a baby snake!" Levy sniffled. Jet and Droy glowered at their Master for making their precious Levy-Chan cry. At fifteen, she had blossomed from a shy little girl, to a beautiful petite woman, and, in their opinion, she didn't need grumpy old men to shake her already shaky confidence. "Cuddles is a sweetie! Tough, strong, but with a secret softness to him. Look at how pretty his scales are, and just look at its adorable eyes!" Levy held out her new pet.

"No I won't!" Master retorted. "Because that's not just a snake, that's a basilisk."

"Oh…." Levy blinked. "….oops?" she offered sheepishly.

"Get it out of here before it kills someone!"

THUMP!

Sadly it was too late, as Levy was too busy cringing and Jet and Droy too busy glaring at the Master, who was too busy scolding Levy, Cuddles had decided to take a look round at its new home and had accidentally made eye contact with Mirajane.

Thankfully though this was through a mirror and she was only petrified.

But it was hell finding the cure since it was winter and mandrakes only grow in warm places

FTFTFTFTFTFTFTFT

"I don't understand," Master's forehead twitched as he felt a headache coming on, "Why do you even want a pet gorgon?"

Out of all of his shitty brats, he had thought Laxus was sensible (yeah, he knows, considering the now fifteen year old boy was a moody, sulky, piece of shit, he was definitely placing high expectations on the boy) but obviously he wasn't as he had brought him what had appeared to be a normal, plain looking, girl, and she promptly turned Natsu and Gray into stone for being annoying.

"I'm not a gorgon!" Laxus' new pet shouted indignantly. "I'm a girl. My name is Evergreen and one day I'm going to be a Queen of Fairies."

"Gramps!" Laxus hissed, his cheeks bright pink. "She's my friend and wants to be part of the guild, and you just insulted her."

"….oops?" Master offered. "I suppose you can keep her then."

Neither Laxus nor Evergreen looked impressed.

FTTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFT

"Cana," Master sighed heavily, "no."

Now, unlike her guild brothers and sisters, Cana was in the right this time round. She wasn't irresponsible like Gray, she had had a dog when she was tiny and it died blissfully in its sleep of old age, and this new pet of hers was definitely not dangerous (Romeo was more dangerous and he was an innocent four year old!), so Master definitely didn't have a right to tell her no, and Cana was going to argue this to the death.

"But it likes me!" she protested five hours later when nearly all her arguments fell on deaf ears. "It wants to be with me! I can't abandon it!"

"And that is very decent of you," Master patted Cana's head patronisingly, "but the fact is it's dangerous."

"It is not!" Cana snapped. "And this is so unfair! Why are Bisca and Natsu allowed pets but the rest of us aren't?!"

"Because neither Bisca nor Natsu bring home mythical creatures that can kill their guild members, and while this particular creature is no danger to you, or Erza, or Mira and Lisanna, or any of the other girls, it is a danger to the boys." Master lectured gently as possible. "Besides, don't you think its mother misses it?"

"I'm going to miss it!" Cana pouted sweetly. "And I can keep it at my place away from the boys!"

"And how would that be fair on the poor thing? It needs to be free in the wild," Master pointed out softly. "Take it home, Cana."

Knowing Master was correct, Cana sniffled. She was going to miss her new best friend so much. "Come on Princess Rainbow Sparkles" she murmured sadly to her pet, "we have to take you home."

As soon as Cana left the building, Macao spat out his drink, and Wakaba let his pipe fall out of his mouth from the shock of the strangest sight they had seen yet.

"….How the hell did Canacatch a unicorn to begin with?!"