Summary: An extension of a scene from the latest anime episode. Lucy tries to get Natsu to close his legs, only to discover….

Pairings: Natsu/Lucy.

YouTube Prompt: Natsu (and girls) tribute to 'Uptown Funk' by Mark Ronson and Bruno Mars.

"Natsu!" Lucy shrieked as she dropped her tray in horror and clutched her face. "Don't stand like that, you'll cause questions!"

When their exchange program led Team Natsu (minus Wendy and Charle) to Mermaid Heel, no one had a problem working at their outside café, and no one, but Gray, had a problem with pretending the whole group were girls in order to protect Mermaid Heel's reputation.

The problem was Natsu, despite his many practises in wearing Lucy's or Erza's clothes, was useless at acting like a girl.

Instead of keeping his legs closed, smiling prettily, and politely asking the customer their order, Natsu stood like a man, awkwardly with his dress on, which included his legs wide open as he demanded to know if anyone knew anything about his newly acquired pet.

It wouldn't take much for someone else to figure out that Natsu was a bloke and then they would all get moved again.

And that was why Lucy did it.

Without a single thought to it (Natsu must be rubbing off of her, she never used to act without thinking), Lucy lunged to the floor and grabbed hold of Natsu's legs as she tried to push them back together.

She was instantly swamped with a variety of sensations that she was not used to and struggled to keep her senses about her.

Do not think about how nice his legs felt. All muscle, rock hard, and reassuring beneath her hand.

Do not think about how hot his skin was to touch.

Do not think about the weird tingles in your hand. Or the burning sensation he caused elsewhere.

Do not think-

"OH MY FUCKING GOD!" Lucy screamed as she looked up. "WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU NOT WEARING ANY UNDERWEAR?!"

Everyone stopped what they were doing to stare at them, Natsu's face flushed a strange pink-ish red colour but he couldn't help but also have a smug, pleased, look on his face as well, and Happy put a paw to his mouth in an attempt to muffle his giggles. "What the hell, Luce?" Natsu hissed. "Couldn't you have picked a better time to cop a feel and take a peek? God you weirdo."

"W-w-w-what the hell is wrong with you?!" Lucy choked. "First you almost blown our cover, then you go around without any underwear on, you do realise even Gray has the decency to wear underwear-"

"What world do you live in?" Happy asked dryly. "I've seen Gray wander about without any underwear on more times than I can count."

(Both Natsu and Happy shuddered at that as they wished with all their hearts that they could burn the memory out of their brains.)

"- and then you call me a weirdo and accuse me of all sorts!" Lucy carried on as if Happy had never spoken. "You're the weirdo out of the two of us! Who the hell goes around without any underwear on?!"

"What?" Natsu sniffed indignantly. "I didn't want any panty lines."

Both Lucy and Happy sweat-dropped at that, and Lucy was just about to smack Natsu over the head for being such an idiot, when she suddenly felt a dark aura behind her, screamed, whirled round, only to trip over Kemo-Kemo and fall on top of Natsu.

"Natsu, Lucy," Erza said coldly, "we're leaving. Now. So stop throwing yourselves into compromising positions with one another and wait until you get home to look at each other naked. You have embarrassed us enough."

"We didn't throw – wait, what?" Lucy had started to protest her innocence but immediately cut herself off when what Erza said sunk in. she looked round and was embarrassed to see that quite a crowd had been watching her and Natsu. "Oh crap," she face-palmed. "We blew Natsu's cover, didn't we?"

"Actually no," Erza softened a little, "it was that arsehole's fault that our covers were blown!" she then pointed a sword at bleeding, bruised, and half naked Gray.

Doh.

In hindsight, Lucy thought as they sheepishly made their way to the train station, they should have known better. Gray could never keep his clothes on long enough when it was something he actually liked wearing. Forget something didn't even want to wear to begin with.

(Meanwhile, Kemo-Kemo pushed his way between Natsu and Lucy's legs and looked up at the pair. Kemo-Kemo didn't know much about the world, didn't know much about anything to be honest as he couldn't remember exactly what he was supposed to be, but he did know that compromising positions were something married people did. He remembered Natsu reading that to him when he was first born from one of Lucy's stories. So if Natsu, his Mummy, had been in a compromising position with Lucy…..that would make Lucy his Daddy, right?

With an excited little chirp, Kemo-Kemo happily decided to give Lucy her due rank and think of her by her name in his thoughts. The others can remain as the others.)