Summary: When Gray, Juvia, and Lyon are forced to work together unprofessional behaviour should be expected.
Pairings: Gray/Juvia/Lyon.
YouTube Prompt: Gray/Juvia video to 'Crushed' by Garbage (song is also commonly known as 'I'll Die for You' and the 'Hex' Theme Song. I thought it was fitting for Juvia's fanatical devotion to Gray).
Gray wanted to get this mission over and done with.
After being forced on an exchange program that didn't seem to work at all (this may or may not have been because Natsu, Gray, and Erza tended to destroy anything they came across on their visits), the Magic Council decided the new best way to foster good relations was to make them all do jobs together.
And somehow Gray ended up working alongside Juvia and Lyon.
Urgh.
Juvia's constant flirtation, loving looks, and clinginess, Gray could live with. Hell he had gotten used to yonks ago and he was rather fond of Juvia (as a friend!) but Lyon…..
Lyon flirting with Juvia. Lyon looking all googly eyed at Juvia. Lyon pulling Juvia to his chest….
Gray really wanted to punch the prick.
Instead, they had to work together, and therefore Gray was going to get this job over and done with so he could go home and actually have some peace.
Fortunately, whoever it was that requested them, also wanted this over and done with, and therefore they barely stepped off the train when they were suddenly ambushed by their employer.
"Oh good, I've been expecting you!" the man cried out eagerly as he shook Gray's hand, and then Juvia's, and then Lyon's (which was a bit of a struggle as Lyon was trying to hold Juvia's hand at the time), "I'm Mr Topliss and-"
Juvia's eyes widened, Lyon's face froze, and Gray wasn't quite able to smother his snort. "I'm sorry," he snickered, "Topless?!"
"Topliss not Topless," the man corrected coldly, "and I wish you would not mock me so by taking your shirt off."
"What do yo- oh not again!" Gray yelped as he realised he was missing both his coat and his shirt. "Crap! Why does this keep happening to me?!"
"Honestly, Gray," Lyon rolled his eyes, "you really ought to take better care of your clothes."
"You could talk!" Gray exclaimed. "You're shirtless too!"
"What?!" Lyon looked down to see that Gray was, indeed, telling the truth. "When did this happen?!"
"Don't you remember Lyon-sama?" Juvia's blue eyes widened innocently. "I was admiring the beauty that is Gray-sama when you insisted that Juvia should inspect your body before declaring Gray-sama is superior and that was when you ripped off your clothes, grabbed Juvia's innocent, untouched hand, and pressed it against your rather impressive abs."
For some reason Gray felt like he was one fire. There was definitely steam coming out of his ears as he blood boiled at the memory.
Juvia should only touch her guild members.
No scratch that, Juvia shouldn't touch anyone. Especially men.
"Oh yes," Lyon smiled sheepishly before he rapidly swapped it for a smouldering look, he clasped Juvia's hand and held it to his chest. "And so my love!" he trilled. "Are you ready to admit that you were too quick in judging Gray superior? After all, I have the body of a God while he…..well he still looks like he's ten years old."
"WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN?!"
"And he has tantrums like a two year old," Lyon pressed a kiss on Juvia's palm, "unlike me. I have the sophistication and maturity of a man."
"Juvia would not know," Juvia said slightly dazed, "after Juvia touched Lyon-sama, Gray-sama grabbed Juvia had pressed her against his God-Like beauty, and Juvia was about to die of bliss when Lyon-sama pushed Juvia away, and the train stopped, and then Lyon-sama and Gray-sama were caught in an act of rapid, violent, boy love. Ah!" she suddenly wailed. "Gray-sama how could you betray Juvia with Lyon-sama?!"
Lyon blanched, the client looked as if he wished he was anywhere but here (Gray couldn't blame him), and Gray felt like bashing his head against something hard.
"What the hell goes on in that head of yours?!" he snarled. "Nothing of the sort happened! Fuck, I thought Gajeel banned you from homosexual erotica mangas."
"Gajeel-kun can do nothing about the collection in Levy-Chan's library!"
Urgh….Gray suddenly knew far more about Levy than he ever wanted to know. "Still!" he hissed between gritted teeth. "There is nothing going on between me and Lyon, other than him being a gigantic prick!"
"So," Lyon smirked, "you admit my prick is bigger than yours."
"Ah!" Juvia cried out. "Gray-sama and Lyon-sama were comparing sizes as well as god like chests. Is that why we're here with Mr Topliss? So he too can decide which one is the best naked man?"
"…."
Gray wasn't sure what happened to his soul. He was pretty sure it flew somewhere in that direction, far away from this insanity…..
"That's it!" Mr Topliss shouted. "I don't want anything to do with you people! Go home! I'll be making a complaint to the council." Fuck, Gray was never going to hear the end of this from Gramps and Erza…. "And you can ensure you won't be paid for this trip." He then whirled round, and stormed off furiously. "Fairy Tail and Lamia Scale!" Mr Topliss could be heard muttering, "What was I thinking? I should have gone with Blue Pegasus instead, they have much better reviews!"
("May I say your name has the sweet and manly perfume of MEN and nakedness?" Ichiya bellowed as he took a great big sniff against Mr Topliss' jacket. "I will honour such a name with my own topless-ness!" and it was then Ichiya ripped off both his jacket and shirt to reveal his hairy chest and fat belly.
"….I was wrong," Mr Topliss sobbed, "Fairy Tail and Lamia Scale's naked insanity is far better than this torture!")