"Uh. Huh. Ow."
Mei cracked an eye open. It felt like her body had been worked over with a bat. Her school outfit was battered and dusty. She made to sit up, only to collapse back with dizziness. The teenager stared up at the morning sky and watched the fluffy clouds. Seabirds cawed and called out to one another high above. The concrete felt pleasantly cool beneath her.
'What. Happened. Is this. Real?'
"Oh, hey, you're awake!" a bubbly voice called out.
Rolling her head, Mei looked at the stranger. The girl was shorter than her, with long silver hair in twin braids and brilliant blue eyes. There was energy, vitality and an earnestness that shimmered in those eyes. Taking the girl in a second time Mei realised she too wore a Chiba Academy uniform. Tucked under one arm was a shopping bag loaded to the brim with convenience store food.
"Just sit still. You look really tired."
The stranger sat down beside Mei and checked the jumper turned pillow beneath the fatigued girl's head. The girl started pulling all manner of plastic wrapped food from the bag and sorting them out with a cheery smile.
'Who is she? What has happened and why does my head feel so foggy?'
"How did you afford all of that?" Mei asked, mind focusing on something obvious.
"I just took it."
"What!"
The silver-haired girl tipped her head to one side. For a moment Mei thought she saw someone different. Later she would chalk it up to fatigue. There was no way this cheery girl could look so cold and clinical.
"There's nobody here to accept my money," the girl said in a low voice.
"It doesn't matter if the store is unmanned. You can't just steal!"
Mei ignored her bodies protestations and sat up straight. She made to poke the stranger in the chest. Instead her index finger was gently caught. The girl's grip was firm. But it lacked aggression.
"You need to see something, Mei-senpai."
"Whatever it is… how do you know my name?"
The girl grinned.
"Everybody knows Mei-senpai. The cool collected queen of our year group. The reliable class-rep and up-and-coming student president."
Thoughts and memories tumbled together. Not all lined up. What the girl said was true. All of Chiba Academy knew of her. But the more she thought the more other memories arose. Uncomfortable one.
Harassment.
Abuse.
Pain.
Loneliness.
Despair.
Mei clutched her knees against her chest and sucked in a shuddering breath. It hurt more than she imagined. Everything she had gone through. Mei was swamped by the inky black wave.
[You really are a weak coward]
Warmth enveloped Mei. The unknown girl embraced her. In that warmth Mei felt her mind begin to ease. The anarchic tide turned to vapour. But that unsettling voice at the back of her mind refused to leave. Had she really thought that?
"Thank you," Mei told the stranger. "I don't even know your name. But thank you."
"Sure thing! I'm Kiana. Kiana Kaslana."
"Mei."
"Mei-senpai it is."
Kiana stood and offered Mei her hand. Accepting the gesture, Mei stood and took survey of her surroundings. The floor was concrete. Air conditioning units and vents surrounded them. A gentle breeze with a tang of salt washed over the pair.
'We're atop a building. But how did I get up here? And why?'
The pair slowly made their way to the edge of the building. They were probably twenty stories up. Far below was a sight that left Mei wanting to wretch. The former inhabitants of Nagazora spread out in all directions. Humans with flesh as pale as the dead, red veins streaking their exposed skin, eyes a malevolent yellow. Mei couldn't count how many there were. Too many. Far too many. Amidst this sea of the dead ambled creatures with shapes not belonging in this terrestrial plane. Honkai beasts in shades of grey and magenta. Some were as small as cats. Others were knights several stories tall. It was a nightmare given physical form and splashed across Mei's fearful eyes.
"They aren't people anymore," Kiana explained. "Zombies now. Most of Nagazora is now swallowed up by the undead. Probably survivors out there on the outskirts. Anyone like us in the middle though. They'd have to be crazy tough."
Mei noticed a baseball bat, somewhat dinged, leaning against the rooftop guardrail.
'Did she fight all them off with just that?'
"What happened?" Mei whispered
Kiana looked uncomfortable. Chewed her lip. Tapped a sneaker as she tried to find the words.
"You brought me up here, right?" Mei continued.
"Not… exactly."
[Stop hiding and start remembering]
Mei gasped, dropping to her knees and gripping the guardrail. Her skin afire.
"Mei-senpai!"
Kiana held Mei again, chin resting on her head, arms about her shoulders. This time took Mei longer than before. It was as though her mind was being turned over. Atop stood the cool, confident and reserved Mei. But beneath that was something sticky, black and filled with raging contempt.
Mei didn't realise she was panting as though having run a marathon. Her body ached and felt ready to collapse. But as she began to relent a new energy danced within. The guardrail crumpled beneath her grip.
[Ohhh so you've already given up. To think I gave you this chance to take control again. That vapid silver-haired child spent nearly every second trying to convince me to let go. It got boring after a few weeks. But I think it's been fun. You got what you wanted. I did too]
Mei opened her eyes. They were red with a vertical slit pupil. Kiana held Mei tighter.
"It's okay, Mei-senpai, it's okay. You stay with me and Bronya. We'll be fine."
Errant sparks of lightning crackled over Mei. Kiana ignored them and held her tightly. Ever so slowly the boiling energy began to settle. The storm within Mei's mind fled into the background. But it still hung there. A temptation. So sweet all she had to do was reach out.
With gritted teeth Mei stood up. She let go of the guard rail. Stared at the crumpled metal.
'That's not possible. It cannot be possible.'
[Keep running coward. It'll catch you eventually]
"SHUT UP!"
The shriek exploded. Chest heaving, Mei swung her head back and forth. The taunting voice belong to nothing. Not the wind. Not the birds. Not Kiana.
"Mei… senpai?"
"I'm alright. I'm alright."
Mei's shallow attempts at assurance didn't stick. Kiana looked over her with a discerning eye. Again Mei would attribute it to her hazy mind at the time. In retrospect Kiana-chan wasn't like the brief flicker in her hazy memory. She was bubbly and warm. She would glomp you given a chance. Nag incessantly. Make foolish comments and always leave her homework late. Kiana wasn't cautious and composed. She didn't check the distance between her and any nearby weapons. She certainly didn't subtly shift into a combat kata.
"Did you want a drink?" Kiana asked. "Must be so thirsty you feel bad."
Kiana retrieved a sports drink and handed it to Mei. She unscrewed the cap and downed half the contents. Mei hadn't realised just how parched she was. Seconds later her stomach growled.
"Come one, Mei-senpai, let's eat."
The pair sat down and tore into the convenience store food in silence. Everything was non-perishable. It left Mei wondering just how long Nagazora had been like this. Finishing the meal did nothing for the hunger. It was as though whatever she ate was burnt away immediately. Washing down the empty meal with the last of her drink, Mei tried to make sense of her fractured thoughts and that voice.
[Oh. Good. You didn't forget me]
'I'm going mad, aren't I?'
[It would be better if you were. But no. This is sanity. Cold, brutal, glaring sanity. Go have a look at the undead sea far below. See if you can remember]
'You know, don't you? Whoever. Whatever you are. You know'
[Of course I do. I'm you after all]
"That makes no sense," Mei whispered.
"You okay, Mei senpai?"
Mei nodded. She stood up, dusted her dress and walked back to the guard rail. Warm hands intentionally wrapped around where the metal had been crushed. Confused eyes looked over the devastation.
'I recall being in my classroom. They were talking about me again. Taunting me about Oto-sama. Sensei singled me out. He took my pencil case. All I have left of Oto-sama. Then… what what…'
The student slammed into wall of the classroom. Crimson splashed against pale white paint. Everyone froze. Second tickled by. They finally realised that the girl had grabbed her desk and flung it in the direction of the mouthy student. Or at least they believed that was the student. The desk had been flung with enough force to severe limb and torso.
'Oh please no—'
Mei held onto the rail and retched. Bile. It was all she could taste. The guard rail shrieked as it warped under the grip. Mei spat out what lay in her mouth and shuddered. Her mind was a cool pond. Sticky black memories rose up from the swamp deep below. As each bubble burst another day, another moment, was recalled in perfect clarity. Mei didn't turn her mind's eye away this time. All she had done in the past several weeks slowly played by.
The Herrscher dodged between gunshots. Her opponent was dual-wielding pistols, shifting between refrigerating units as she unloaded several rounds. Kiana tossed one of the USP45 into the air, retrieved a magazine from her hip and reloaded before catching the loose pistol. The Herrscher smirked at how much the worm struggled. Still, it was good entertainment. A break from looking down upon the ruins of the city.
'I really should leave this place. There's nothing left to do. I feel millions of other humans nearby to cull.'
The Herrscher couldn't explain why she lingered. Perhaps it was the coward's attachment to the place. Or the coward's memories of wanting everyone who had tormented her to die. There was something that clung to the Herrscher. A doubt or niggling thought that demanded she remain in Nagazora long after it had been levelled.
The gunfire drew the Herrscher's attention back to the present. One bullet was right on mark to pierce her forehead. With casual indifference the Herrscher summoned up a roiling electromagnetic field. As the bullet entered the electrochemical bonds were sundered. The projectile was atoms in a picosecond.
"That's just cheating!" Kiana called out.
"Your weakness is your own fault, worm."
The Herrscher smirked. She'd found something good to occupy her time with. This one never gave up. She tried again and again to reach out. Nobody had reached out to the coward. Someone reached out an avatar of human genocide. The irony was delicious.
"Think you can beat me this time, worm?"
Bolts of lightning fell from the heavens. The sky was already clouding over. With the sun blotted out Nagazora showed its true colours. The white of corpses. The grey and purple of the Honaki. The dingy unwashed fabric of three middle-school students. Kiana took the lead, baseball sitting on one shoulder, pistols and spare magazines hanging on her impromptu belt. Bronya walked a little behind. She hadn't spoken much of where she was from or what school she attended in Nagazora. It was assumed that she was still in shock. After all, the trio might have been the only humans left in the city by now.
That wasn't true either. The third girl might once have been human. Now she surveyed the bleak concrete roads and overturned cars with crimson eyes.
"You said there was food nearby," the Herrscher growled.
"I saw a convenience store up ahead," Kiana said confidently.
'The coward knew how to cook. Perhaps I should use her skills.'
A growling carried down the street. Kiana scratched her head in embarrassment.
"Sorry. I'm a little hungry."
Another growl followed.
"Ahhh, that wasn't me that time."
The Herrscher looked about. They were standing just outside a grade school. A high wall surrounded several buildings, their roofs peaking over the barrier. Cheery trees and creepers gave the place a warm and inviting feel. A stampede of feet came from the other side of the wall. Another growl, now a chorus, came from all around. Pouring out from the open gate of the grade school were numerous zombies. The Herrscher picked them for ages between five and eleven. Several teachers ironically led the hungry horde.
'They should disperse shortly.'
The Herrscher was bored. The undead would not harm her. Neither would the Honkai beasts. She was a Herrscher. She was an instrument of the Honkai. They existed to serve her.
"We must retreat immediately," Bronya said in her infuriatingly dull voice.
"These vermin are no threat."
Kiana readied her baseball bat.
"I think you're wrong, Mei-senpai."
"Don't call me that, worm."
"How many times have you said that?" Kiana teased.
The Herrscher was legitimately surprised. The horde was not slowing down. For whatever strange reason they did not feel their instinctual need to serve her.
The Herrscher tsked and unleashed hell.
Numerous lightning bolts fell from the sky. With each strike several zombies were destroyed. The lightning held enough energy to turn flesh to ash. Small beads of sweat began to form on the Herrscher's face. This was taking more effort than she had imagined. Finally the last bolt fell. It tore apart a little girl in a pinafore and sandals. For some reason that memory stuck with the Herrscher.
'What does it matter. All worms. All things to be wiped off the Earth.'
Those thoughts left the Herrscher uncomfortable. She should have left Nagazora long ago. Still the lingering. Still the longing. The Herrscher's eyes turned to Kiana. The silver haired girl looked at the destruction with a troubled expression. Watching every child from a grade school, even though they were zombies, be torn apart by lightning was hard to stomach. Shoulders relaxed, Kiana spun on the spot and gave Mei a thumbs up.
"Thank you, Mei-senpai. They would have been super hard to fight."
"Wiping out those chil… insects was nothing."
The Herrscher didn't like this. They hadn't obeyed. Anything that she had killed should follow her. The Herrscher was responsible for the deaths of all these children. They were zombies because of the Herrscher. Was that the right thing? Did it make sense to kill children?
The Herrscher didn't like all the questions and answers.
The sun had moved in the sky. It was late afternoon. Mei slowly opened her eyes. Kiana stood beside her with a goofy smile, the bag of food in one hand and the baseball bat over her shoulder.
"You feeling okay?" Kiana asked
Mei nodded.
"How's your head?"
Mei ran a hand slowly through her hair.
"This is my fault… isn't it?"
"Nope."
"I remember it all. I remember everything I've done. I just exploded. The storm. The Honkai Beasts. Everyone turning into a zombie. I did this."
"Nope," Kiana said with absolutely confidence.
"Then who is?"
"The Honkai did this. That's what the Honkai do. They hurt people. You would never hurt someone. Right, Mei-senpai?"
There wasn't an answer to that question that felt reasonable. That felt honest.
"I'm a Kaslana. And we Kaslana protect people. When we see anybody in trouble our blood boils. I saw you and helped you."
Another series of bubbles rose. Mei pressed her hands to her head as they popped.
"We fought. We fought many times. You wouldn't let me run. You kept me from hurting anyone. You stopped me from… hurting myself."
Kiana nodded and smiled.
"I held out my hand. You grabbed it"
[It's a touching moment]
"Shut up," Mei growled.
"Mei-senpai?"
Mei pulled her hands from her head and clenched them tightly by her sides.
"I can hear it. The thing that was me. The—"
[I'm not a thing. I'm you. All of you. Every last part you love and hate. Every bit of yourself you run from, you foolish coward. I'm the Herrscher that took over when you ran away from the world]
Short nails dug into palms. Mei wouldn't run. She was afraid. But she wouldn't run from this.
"The Herrscher is still there," Mei admitted. She now knew that word. What that word really meant. "You fought it one final time. It lost and decided that trying to live in this rotten world was too much. It was a curse. It was afraid of the answers. So the Herrscher gave up. But you saved it. The Herrscher couldn't believe that. It couldn't ignore what you did. Killing itself would have been an insult to what you did."
Mei did her old breathing exercises. The same ones her father had taught it. It felt like she hadn't gone through the motions in an eternity. Draw in the breath, centre herself, slowly exhale. The pressure inside her head had settled a little. She could still feel it there. A second pair of eyes looking out of her own. A second will nestled up against hers.
"I'm here instead," Mei whispered. "But it is still there."
"Then I'll protect you," Kiana said.
"Pardon?"
"If something is wrong, I'll protect you, Mei-senpai. I'll always protect you."