Summary: A running commentary on how Gajeel and Levy are not the only Beauty and the Beast-like couple. Sadly, it cannot be done without insulting most of the guild.
Pairings: Gajeel/Levy, implied one-sided Jet/Levy/Droy, Elfman/Evergreen, Laxus/Mirajane, Kinana/Cobra, some one-sided Cana/Cobra, Erza/Jellal, Romeo/Wendy, Wendy/Chelia friendship, Natsu/Lucy, one-sided Loke/Lucy, Gray/Juvia, Alzack/Bisca, and Bickslow/Lisanna.
YouTube Prompt: Natsu/Lucy video to 'Hanging by a Moment' by Lifehouse.
"HELLO PEOPLE OF FIORE! WELCOME TO ANOTHER YEAR OF THE GRAND MAGICAL GAMES AND ONCE AGAIN WE WELCOME BACK FAIRY TAIL!"
The guild as a whole couldn't quite help but smirk as the entire stadium cheered in their honour. While they never did what they did for the glory, they couldn't not enjoy it while they were on the receiving end of such praise.
It was impossible, and quite honestly, after the shitty two years they had since their last Magical Games, they definitely deserved this.
So the likes of Mira, and Evergreen, and Lucy were waving to the crowds while Natsu pumped his fist in the air repeatedly, and Cana kept blowing kisses….well it made the crowd happy and that made them happy.
"NOW THERE HAS BEEN A NOTICEABLE CHANGE IN FAIRY TAIL," Wearily the others exchanged looks. Sure, Master was no longer their guild master, and after their year apart they had changed a bit, but surely it wasn't that noticeable….was it? "AND THAT IS THEY'RE ALL COUPLED UP."
"What?!"
Several people choked, some blushed brightly, and others wished Lucy would, for the love of God, teach them Virgo's magic so they didn't have to endure this embarrassment.
This annoying, loud, presenter guy who kept swapping his hair wasn't going to do an expose on their relationships now, was he?
"AND I COULDN'T HELP BUT NOTICE THERE IS A BIT OF A BEAUTY AND THE BEAST THEME GOING ON WITH OUT COUPLES."
Oh crap, he was….
"Beauty and the Beast theme?!" Gajeel barked. "What the fuck does that mean?"
"Oh come now, Gajeel!" Mira giggled. "We all know that you and Levy are the very definition of that old fairy tale. You being a despicable beast but after time with Levy, you thawed out into a handsome prince and the pair of you went on your way into the sunset for that happy ever after!"
"….Lu-Chan, seriously," Levy pleaded her best friend, "Just let Virgo dig me a hole to curl up and die in."
"You're fucking mental," Gajeel blinked at Mira. "Fucking mental."
"Maybe," Mira smiled sweetly. "But I could still kick your arse and literally hand it to you."
"WANT TO HEAR MORE?!"
"Fuck no," Gray snorted. "We don't need our love lives dissected for the rest of the world."
Most of the members nodded in agreement, though some shot Gray dirty looks for his use of bad language, and others muttered their own comments about how they wanted to just get on with the competition. Natsu was getting impatient as he and Sting were going to have it out and see who the better one after two years training was.
Sadly, Fairy Tail (and some of the other guilds) were the only ones that quietly disagreed. The Stadium cheered its approval much to the disgust and embarrassment of everyone in the guild.
"EXCELLENT! FIRST I NOTICED THIS LITTLE CUTIE IN FAIRY TAIL LEVY MCGARDEN" Levy covered her face as the large lacrima screens were suddenly filled with her picture. The one where she was half asleep in a library, with her wind-reading glasses skewed on her face, and bits of drool running down her chin. The stadium cooed and Jet and Droy could clearly be heard cheering her on. "AND SHE IS DATING – THIS UGLY METAL BEAST."
Everyone screamed (Jet and Droy wailed) as a picture of Gajeel in his shadow iron form appeared.
"Who the hell are they calling ugly?!"
"Well," Lucy sweat-dropped, "they kinda have a point."
"What was that?!"
"Now, now, Gajeel-kun," Juvia patted her friend on the shoulder, "you know you give little children nightmares. You used to get kicks out of it when you used to hide under Rogue-kun's bed back in Phantom Lord."
"…..Levy-Chan why are you dating this guy again?!"
"AND THEN THERE IS THE SURPRISINGLY BEAUTIFUL EVERGREEN," the annoying commentator continued as if half of Fairy Tail were not bickering in the middle of the stadium was everyone to wash. "WHO IS DATING THIS MANLY BEAST, THE KING OF BEASTS IN FACT!"
"Yes!" Elfman pumped a fist in the air as a picture of him in his alligator form from the last Magical Games appeared next to an old picture of Evergreen from one of her magazine spreads. "I am the MAN."
"What do you mean surprisingly beautiful?!" Evergreen shrieked. "I'm very beautiful. There is nothing surprising about that! Anyone can see my beauty from great distances! And what do you mean you're the man?! You just took the compliment and did nothing to defend my honour! Urgh!" Evergreen threw her hands in the air in great disgust. "I am seriously reconsidering my taste in men!"
"Honestly, Ever," Freed sniffed, "I've been questioning your taste for years."
"WE ALSO HAVE THE VERY BEAUTIFUL, STUNNING, GORGEOUS, MIRAJANE STRAUSS. WE LOVE YOU MIRA! WE'RE ALL HEARTBROKEN THAT YOU ARE NOW DATING THE EVIL, SCAR-FACED BEAST THAT IS LAXUS – ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!"
Everyone in fairy Tail either sweat-dropped or face palmed as it was clearly obvious exactly what caused the microphone to randomly electrocute the commentator.
Sadly he jumped back up, without his wig, and grinned stupidly to the crowd.
"I AM OKAY! AND I WILL NOT STOP THERE! MIRAJANE'S PARTNER BEHIND THE BAR, KINANA, LOOK AT HER, ISN'T SHE THE SWEETEST? WELL SHE'S DATING THE EX-CON COBRA, WHO IS JUST AS UGLY AND SCARRED AS LAXUS!"
"Nothing I haven't heard before," Cobra shrugged, unoffended, "after all I hear everything…which ever one of you is thinking how sexy my arse is, stop it right now!"
"No can do," Cana smirked, "just because you're taken doesn't mean I'm dead."
Kinana hissed wordlessly though Cobra could hear, plain as day, the threat within.
"AND WHO CAN FORGET THE BEAUTIFUL ERZA SCARLET AND HER SECRETLY EVIL BEAST OF A BOYFRIEND?"
"…"
Everyone in the stadium turned to look at Erza and Jellal in silence. Erza stuttered, blushed, and awkwardly looked away as her hand inched towards her sword, while Jellal bashfully looked down and shyly played with his hands as he desperately hoped everyone would stop looking at him.
"….what evil beast is he looking at?" Gray whispered, "Surely he means Erza and not Jellal."
"I know right!" Natsu laughed. "Erza is the most evil, beastly – Ack!"
No one felt sorry for Natsu. He deserved to have the gauntlet chucked at his head, the severe concussion that would come later, and the blood loss.
After all you have to be an idiot to insult Erza within her hearing.
"AND I WILL NEVER FORGIVE THE DISGUSTING LITTLE BEAST THAT IS ROMEO CONBOLT WHO HAD STOLEN OUR SWEET LITTLE WENDY-CHAN FROM CHELIA-CHAN AND RUINING ALL OF MY FANFICTION!"
"What?!"
Wendy and Chelia (who had been in the middle of catching up with one another) slowly, awkwardly, edged away from one another as they felt their precious friendship being tarnished by disgusting perverts. Romeo's face, however, turned bright head and looked as if he was about to explode from embarrassment.
It didn't help that he could clearly hear his father shout crude encouragements and see Gajeel and Laxus making threatening gestures.
"THEN THERE IS THE LOVELY LUCY HEARTFILLA WHO HAS BEEN SNATCHED UP THE MOST FEARSOME, TERRIFYING, AND HORRIBLE BEAST. NATSU DRAGNEEL, WILL ANY PRINCE SAVE HER FROM HIS EVIL CLUTCHES?!"
"Yes," Loke cried out as he appeared out of nowhere in a white suit of armour (Arcadios would be hiding desperately behind his soldiers, wearing nothing but a pair of boxers, as he had been traumatically mugged). "I, Prince Loke of the Stars am here to-"
Natsu instantly punched Loke without thinking, his body suddenly lit up in flames, and his fangs seemed to have lengthened with his fury. "Go on!" he growled to the audience. "I dare you to even try."
Several people may or may not have wet themselves at this point.
Either way, it took Lucy to wrap her arms round Natsu, and whisper soothing, comforting, words and seductive ideas that Gajeel really wished he couldn't hear, to get the fire dragon slayer to calm down.
"AND FINALLY, BUT NOT LEAST, THE MOST BEAUTIFUL MEMBER HAS BEEN ENTIRELY ENRAPTURED BY THE MOST EVIL BEASTS OF THEM ALL. YES THAT'S RIGHT LADIES, GRAY FULLBUSTER IS NOW TAKEN BY JUVIA LOCKSER."
"What the fuck?!" Gray screamed. "I'm the beast in the relationship. Not Juvia! All the other guys got to be the beast why do I have to be the pretty maiden in this story! This is so fucking unfair! You agree with me, Juvia right…..Juvia?!"
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Juvia screamed and sobbed at the same time. Her tears instantly flooding the stadium at dangerous levels. "Juvia doesn't mean to be evil, and mean, and beastly like Gajeel-kun. Juvia just loves Gray-sama so much! It's the evil Love Rivals that bring out the beastly side of Juvia! Juvia is a good girl normally, Juvia promises!"
It was absolutely no surprise to anyone that the Grand Magical Games were postponed as the stadium suffered severe water damage…..and one of the judges was suddenly hospitalised due to another electric shock, four broken bones, and a suspicious sword-looking stab wound.
("This is so unfair! How come we didn't get mentioned at all?!" Alzack whined. "I mean look at you Bisca, you're the most gorgeous woman in the world, and I'm a beast, right? Right honey?"
"Oh sweetie," Bisca drawled, "While I know you're a beast in the bedroom, that's not a side I particularly want advertised especially to other women."
"Hmmph!" Lisanna fumed. "I can't believe I hadn't been mentioned at all. Am I really that ugly?"
"'course not!" Bickslow grinned manically. "You're stunning. It's just unlike the others you have excellent taste in men. After all I'm a knight not a beast.")