Chloe sat by Lucifer's side on the couch in the penthouse. Both had drinks in their hands and neither had spoken a word in the near half hour she'd been there. Chloe didn't push Lucifer either. She wasn't there to force him to talk. Her purpose right now was to do whatever Lucifer needed her to do. Right now, all he needed was to know that someone was there for him.
Lucifer hadn't looked the detective in the eye since she arrived. How could he after what had happened downstairs. He hadn't meant to admit what happened to him. He'd just lost control of himself when Eve kept pushing him. He was only grateful he'd had the presence of mind to say it quietly, so his entire club didn't hear.
Chloe watched Lucifer finish up his drink before gently taking it from him. She went to the bar and poured them both another before walking back and handing Lucifer his drink. She then resumed her position next to him. As far as she was concerned, they could keep this going all night. She had no plans to leave tonight unless Lucifer asked her to. Trixie was with Dan tonight, so she had not place she had to be.
"You think I'm weak," Lucifer finally said, breaking their long silence.
"No, Lucifer, I don't," Chloe said in a firm tone. "If anything, I think you're stronger than I ever knew. You survived something horrible."
"Did I? It doesn't seem like I've gotten past it," Lucifer said before taking a sip of his drink. He'd thought he'd gotten past it. He hadn't thought on it for a while. Then he saw Eve for the first time. In that moment, he knew he wasn't past it. It all came back, and he felt sick to his stomach.
"I don't think you get past something like that, Lucifer. You just learn to live with it. With help, maybe you find ways to cope with it," Chloe said.
"Are you going to ask? Don't you want to know what happened? Why I let them hurt me that way?" Lucifer asked. He expected her to have a ton of questions, but she hadn't even asked one.
"You didn't let them do it, Lucifer. Don't ever think you did. You are not responsible for what they did to you. Now, if you want to talk to me about it, I will be more than happy to listen, but I won't pressure you into it. I'm here to help you anyway I can," Chloe told him.
Silence filled the room once more. It lasted a good ten more minutes before Lucifer gained the courage to speak again. "When Father first created humans, he placed them in the Garden of Eden. I'm sure you already knew that much. We were forbidden to interact with them. We were told to stay out of the Garden. We all did for a while, but I was curious. I wanted to see them for myself. You'll never know how much I regret that curiosity."
Chloe didn't respond. She decided it was best to just let him talk for now.
"I met Adam first. He was a nasty, sick bastard. He was polite enough at first, but it became clear after just a couple of minutes that he wished me harm. He started…. touching my wings. You don't do that. No one touches an angel's wings. Only my parents ever did, and that was for practical reasons, such as grooming. When Adam did it…"
"He was violating you," Chloe finished for him. She thought back to when she and Lucifer first started working together. She went to touch the scars on his back, where she now knew his wings had been. He'd had a bad reaction to it. Back then, she thought it was because of the trauma of what caused those scars. Now, she wondered if at least part of it was because it was almost like touching his wings in his eyes, like Adam had.
Lucifer nodded. "That was when I first began to fear something terrible might happen. The way he kept talking to me made it worse. I wanted to fight or run, but I realized that I couldn't. When my father created humans, he made it clear that we were not to ever harm them. He made sure Adam knew that too," he said bitterly. He was sure his father hadn't told Adam they weren't allowed to hurt them so Adam could take advantage of the rule. He had probably only done it to assure the new humans that they were safe. Still, Lucifer couldn't help but be angry at his father. His rule, and making it known to Adam, had made it impossible for Lucifer to defend himself.
Chloe sighed sadly. She obviously didn't know God, but she had to believe that he hadn't intended for his kids to be defenseless in a situation such as this. He just hadn't been clear enough, probably because he didn't foresee something like this happened. At least she hoped that was the case. She didn't want to think any parent, especially God, would condone such a thing. Unfortunately, Adam had taken advantage of any miscommunication there was.
"He… He said if I ran, he'd tell my father I was there. I wasn't supposed to be there. When it was o…over, I wanted to run and never go back. Adam said if I didn't come back regularly, h…he'd tell as well. He said my father would blame me. He said it was m…my fault," Lucifer cried.
Chloe wanted to cry herself for the pain her friend and partner had gone through. Adam was a typical sexual predator. He exploited his victim's fears. He made Lucifer feel like he was responsible for his own attack. "Lucifer, he said that to control you. He said it so he could keep hurting you. It wasn't your fault. You were young when this happened, weren't you?"
"I suppose. I was seventeen centuries. That translates into years in relation to human age," he said.
Chloe closed her eyes sadly. If that was true, he was still a kid, and one who probably knew nothing about what was happening to him. She couldn't imagine how frightening it had to be for him. "Did you ever tell your father?"
Lucifer shook his head. "I did try to tell someone once though. For a while, I was afraid of being blamed, but that stopped mattering shortly after Eve was added into the mix as well. I couldn't stand it anymore. If it was possible, I would've committed suicide. I decided that no lecture or punishment from my father could be worse than what they were doing to me in the Garden. But I didn't want to tell my father just yet. I decided to go to my twin, Michael, first.
Chloe could only guess that that ended badly. Lucifer had said, after all, that he'd never told his father. Plus, she'd heard the stories humanity told on the animosity between Michael and Lucifer. If those stories were true, this was probably at least part of why.
"Michael didn't really listen. I told him that I'd disobeyed Dad's rule about going into the Garden. I told him how they… Well, I started to tell him about my last interactions with Adam and Eve. He…. didn't listen long enough for me to tell him that they forced me. He lashed out at me. He told me I was wrong to do what I did. Then he told Dad," Lucifer said with hurt laced in his voice. It always hurt that his own twin had turned against him. That was why he never told his father. He and Michael were very close. If he would have that reaction, Lucifer didn't trust anyone else to take his side. He figured if his father even listened long enough to hear the whole story, he'd just blame him. He thought it might be better that his father only knew Michael's version.
"That's why the world believes you tempted Eve?" Chloe asked. It was probably the most devastating thing she'd ever heard. This was a story that every human learned at one point or another, and it turned out that it was all a lie.
Lucifer nodded.
"Your own brother just jumped to the conclusion that you were to blame. He didn't even think to ask if it was your choice," Chloe said in disgust.
"To be fair, r…rape wasn't something that happened then. It wasn't even a word to us. I didn't even know what to call it when it was happening," Lucifer said. That being said, Lucifer did have a lot of anger for Michael for not even listening to him. For going straight to his father without waiting for an explanation.
"This is why you were sent to Hell?" Chloe asked.
"No. My father was angry, so was my mother for that matter, but she was more angry that I'd, in her mind, lowered myself to such interactions with a lesser species. She's always hated humans. Anyway, I wasn't sent to Hell until later, after I'd lead a rebellion. Actually, things did get better for a little while after Michael went to our father. Adam and Eve were banished from the Silver City. They couldn't hurt me anymore. I thought it was over," Lucifer explained.
"But it wasn't," Chloe said. It wasn't a question. She had enough experience with rape victims to know that it didn't just end when the abuse. There was far reaching damage.
Lucifer shook his head. "It was alright for a while. It was better, but when time went on, I started getting angry. Everything would make me angry, but the biggest was the freedom humans had. They could do as they pleased with no consequences. Adam and Eve were proof of that. I wanted that for myself. If I'd had that, they never could've hurt me. And I didn't want that to ever happen again. I wanted the ability to… to say no. Dad wouldn't give it to me. He said I wasn't like humans. That made me angry. I was also angry that he'd created Adam and Eve in the first place. My own father had created those that hurt me."
Chloe couldn't even form words right now. Literally everything that anyone knew about Lucifer was wrong. Everything she'd been scared of when she saw his face and went to Rome wasn't true. Lucifer didn't go against God because he was evil. That much she'd figured out herself after a while, but she never would've imagined the true. The so called Devil had been nothing more than an angry teenager that didn't know how to deal with such an awful thing happening to him. He lashed out because it was the only way he knew how to respond. No one was there to help him. The only person he'd even tried to ask for help had refused to even listen to him. He spiraled out of control until he broke. Lucifer was not the Devil. If there was any devil at all, it was in Adam and Eve. That was beyond ironic. Humanity had been the evil party in this story.
Lucifer began to sob uncontrollably. This was the first time he'd been able to tell his story, and he could not bear it anymore. He broke down. It just hurt so badly, even millennia later.
Chloe tentatively put a hand on his shoulder. She wasn't sure it was the right move given everything he just told her, but she felt the need to comfort him somehow.
Lucifer flinched at first, but then he leaned into the touch and cried harder.
Xxxxxxxxxx
Eve was annoyed as she stood outside LUX. The man who kicked her out was standing a few feet away staring at her suspiciously. She'd tried many times to get him to let her back into the club, but he seemed determined to keep her out. She had to get back in and talk to Lucifer. She had to make him see that he was wrong about what happened between them, and that they should be together. It had to be that detective that convinced him she hurt him. She knew that he wanted everything that happened between them.
"Eve?" a voice called out surprised.
Eve turned and saw Lucifer's brother looking at her in shock. She smiled at him. "Oh, hi, Amenadiel.
"Eve, you're not supposed to be here," Amenadiel said as he walked towards her. He was surprised to see her outside of Heaven. He knew it was theoretically possible for a soul to leave the Silver City, just as it was to leave Hell, but, just like with Hell, it had never happened before.
"Yeah, I needed a change of scenery. Heaven was boring. I came to see Lucifer, but he doesn't seem to want to see me. He's been really cold," Eve said.
Amenadiel was a little surprised to hear that, but Lucifer was much different than he used to be. Maybe he didn't want the reminder of what happened in the Garden. "Why do you want to see Lucifer anyway?"
"Well, we had a lot of fun back in the Garden. I was hoping we could again. Lucifer's confused though. I think it's because of his new girlfriend," Eve said with a bit of annoyance in her voice.
"You mean Chloe? Detective Decker?" Amenadiel asked.
"Yeah. He keeps saying I hurt him. It has to be because of her. He's saying I raped him, but that isn't what happened. He wanted…"
"Whoa! He's saying what?" Amenadiel asked in disbelief.
"That I raped him, but that's not what happened. You know that. Everyone knows that. Everyone knows he wanted to do it. It's in the story. It has to be that woman convincing him. You can get me into see him, right?" Eve asked.
"Um, I think you should just go, Eve," Amenadiel said. He didn't know how to respond to the rest of what she said. That couldn't be true, could it. Lucifer would've said something if it were. Plus, he could've fought against anyone who tried to hurt him like that.
"But I need to see Lucifer," Eve whined.
"If he kicked you out, he's not going to see you. You should go," he said.
Sighing unhappily, Eve headed towards the parking lot.
Amenadiel left as well. He was planning to visit with his brother, but now, he had too much on his mind to do that. He kept telling himself that what he'd just heard couldn't possibly be true, but there was this nagging doubt in the back of his mind. If it was true, it would change everything.