Summary: The guild gets their revenge on Natsu…

Pairings: Natsu/Lucy, Natsu/Lisanna, sort of, Gray/Juvia implied, Gray/Everyone (in Juvia's mind), and lots and lots of different friendship feels.

Author's Note: Thank you so much for giving me over FORTY FIVE HUNDRED reviews. I'm sorry I didn't thank you in the last chapter, I've been working overtime this week in order to get Friday off, and it's exhausting. I hope you enjoy this parody.

"This year is going to be it."

"Yes, finally, after all these years, we'll have our revenge on Natsu Dragneel."

"And all thanks to Lucy."

It was then, with a strange sinister edge to it, that the entirety of Fairy Tail began to cackle evilly…..

Natsu bounded into the guild eagerly, one, sunny, warm, spring morning, all eager to have an awesome breakfast, find a super cool job, and spend the entire day with Lucy. "Morning!" Natsu chirped cheerfully. His grin broaden when he spotted Lucy slumped over the bar with a juice. "Lucy! Let's go on a jo…." He tailed off as his grin faded. Lucy had turned to face him with the most depressing, dark, expression on her face. Her skin looked sickly white and the smudges under her eyes were very dark. "Lucy, what's wrong?"

"What's wrong?" Lucy repeated coldly. "What's wrong? WHAT'S WRONG?! I'll tell you what's wrong," Lucy shouted, "You're an utter prick!"

Natsu's mouth dropped open, as did Happy's, they were used to Lucy occasionally losing her temper but she had never, never, lost her temper like this.

"It's been months," she spat out, "months since you've spoken to me. Months since you bothered to see if I'm okay, and you wonder what the hell is wrong with me?!"

"What the hell are you on about?!" Natsu yelled out. "We've just spent the whole day together yesterday!"

"Yeah Lushy," Happy said tearfully, "we haven't ignored you. Promise."

Lucy snorted. "Please," she said nastily, "ever since Lisanna had come back, you've been too busy to remember me."

"No I haven't!"

"Yeah, we haven't!" Happy put in. "We've been with you every day!"

"Oi! Ash Brain!" Gray bellowed as he charged towards Natsu. "What are you….." he turned to look at Lucy and squinted. "Who the hell is this?!"

"Did all that ice kill your brain cells?!" Natsu snapped. "That's Lucy!"

Gray blinked. "Who?"

Natsu would have punched him but a sniffle from Lucy's direction made him freeze and he turned round to see Lucy crying. "No," he croaked, "don't cry, Luce, you know I hate it when you cry."

"That's not how it works, Natsu!" Lucy cried out between tears. "You don't suddenly get to care after all these months."

"Lucy-"

"Natsu!" Lisanna cooed. She suddenly leaped at him and smothered him with a stranglehold and her breasts, she then proceeded to cling on his arm. It was really fucking creepy. "Oh no, Lucy are you – I mean," Lisanna coughed and suddenly glared at Lucy. "Why are you talking to Lucy? I'm your girlfriend, not her!"

"What?!" Natsu squeaked. "Since when? We barely spoke to one another since you came home, I've always been with Lucy, and you have always been with your brother and sister, and why are you suddenly acting like an even more psychotic version of Juvia?!"

Lisanna ignored him in favour of glaring at Lucy. "Go away!" she hissed. "You're so pathetic hanging around here even after Natsu, Erza, Gray, and Wendy kicked you off their team for being so weak and losing the Magical Games."

"WHAT?!" Natsu was really, really, pissed off now. "Lucy," he growled at Lisanna, "is not pathetic or weak. And she wasn't the only one that lost. So did I! And Gajeel! And Jellal! And we don't even have a good reason – why is no one listening to me?!"

He realised the moment Lisanna turned her back on him to glare at Lucy, and Lucy glared back, while Happy looked terrified, and Gray….was trying to pry Juvia off of his chest.

"Bitch," Lucy said eventually.

"LUCY!" Mira screamed. She suddenly stormed round the bar with a demonic look in her face. "How dare you?!" she raged. "How dare you speak to my poor, sainted, little, sister like that? After all what she has been through!"

"Sainted?!" Natsu gawked at Mira. "We are talking about a Fairy Tail mage here, right?"

He was ignored.

Like he had been the whole time.

"What's going on here?" Erza asked curiously.

"Lucy was threatening Lisanna!"

"THAT'S NOT WHAT HAPPENED AT ALL!"

"How unmanly!"

"Lucy how could you?!"

"You know how fragile Lisanna has been since she came back from the dead!"

"The nerve of you!"

"Ne, Natsu," Happy trembled, "everyone is being really weird right now. And stupid. And out of character. Do you think they're under a spell or something?"

"Probably," Natsu grumbled, "it's the only explanation." He caught Gajeel, Juvia, Charle, and Wendy's eyes, and hoped for some sense out of any of them, he opened his mouth and –

"God, Lucy!" Wendy spat out. "How could you be so mean to Lisanna?!"

"What the hell?!" Natsu cried out. "You lot too!"

"Don't be stupid, Salamander," Gajeel grunted, "Of course we're going to side with the girl we have never met before in our lives until Edolas over the girl who forgave us, accepted us in the guild, befriended Juvia first, and took exemplary care of Wendy while you and the other two freaks destroyed everything around you. Why would we ever side with that girl when we can be friends with the girl we have no clue about?"

"I….."

"Juvia knows who her true Love Rival is," Juvia agreed firmly.

Though, she wasn't really glaring at Lisanna, actually she seemed to be glaring at the entire room. Natsu almost snorted. Gray wasn't that much a catch.

"I don't care," Charle said.

"Neither do I," Lily said from behind his newspaper.

"Look," Lucy scoffed, "it hardly matters what any of you think because I'm leaving. I'm going to train or something or maybe join a better guild with mages that could all kick your butt, and replace you all with better friends."

"WHAT?!" Natsu screamed. "You can't leave. You're Fairy Tail."

"Not anymore."

And then Lucy lifted up her hand to show a blank space of skin. No pink guild mark. Empty, naked, pale, skin….

"Later," Lucy flipped her hair and walked off.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Natsu!" Lucy gasped as Natsu suddenly leaped forward and grabbed hold of her legs. She tried to take a few steps forwards but his dead weight dragged her down a bit. "Happy!" she gasped when Happy decided to help Natsu by trying to pull Lucy back by her skirt.

"You're not leaving us!"

"Natsu."

"I won't let you leave!"

"Natsu."

"I don't give a fuck about everyone else. They've all lost their minds."

"Natsu."

"So have you but I don't care! I'm not letting you leave!"

"Natsu," Natsu blinked when he felt Lucy's hand on his hair. He looked up at her hopefully, and was pleased to see the smallest of smiles on her face. Maybe she's gotten over what weird spell had been cast on her and can see the light. Maye she realised what an idiotic weirdo she and everyone else was being and was going to tell him that she'll help save the others, maybe she – "April Fools," Lucy said.

"…."

"…"

"Ha!" Gray laughed. "We got you good, didn't we Flame Brain?"

"W-w-why?!" Happy wailed. "That was horrible! We really thought Lushy was going to leave us!"

"Well," Erza said sternly, "perhaps it's because of the time you convinced us Master was dead on our first April Fools together."

"Or perhaps it's because you made me think my books had burned," Levy glared.

"Or you used my best paints to paint moustaches and penises on everyone's faces."

"Or the whoopee cushions during my interview!"

"Or the itching powder during my photo shoot!"

"You made me think I cheated on my broomstick!"

"…."

Everyone who was near him, took a great big step away from Max. An awkward silence filled the guild as they weren't quite sure what to do with Max and his obvious relationship with a bit of wood.

"Not to mention," Lucy finally spoke up, "that you play stupid jokes on all of us all the time. Poor Wendy got a cold from your bucket of water on the door trick!"

"It was for Gray!"

"Yeah," Gray rolled his eyes, "not helping yourself there."

"But they were harmless jokes!" Natsu protested. "I never hurt your feelings. What you did was awful. Really, really, mean, in fact it was so mean I don't think I want to be part of this guild anymore."

"WHAT?!"

"Yeah," Natsu said mournfully, "I'm leaving. Forever."

"Natsu," Lucy cried out sadly, "don't go."

"It's too late, Luce," Natsu shook his head, "nothing you can say ill change my mind."

Erza's eyes widened, Gray rolled his, Gajeel face palmed, and Lisanna sighed defeated. Everyone else grew alarmed as they realised their plans were unravelling quickly.

"I'll do anything!" Lucy promised tearfully. "Don't leave!"

"Anything?"

"Yes, anything," Lucy said wildly, "I'll make you dinner every night,-"

"Lucy," Gray spoke up, "Don't give into-"

"- And let you sleep in my bed, and I'll go fishing whenever you want,-"

"Lucy," Erza said loudly. "You're play-"

"- And let you use my bath any time, and-"

"Erm" Levy said nervously, "Lu-Chan-"

"And I'll give you those back massages,-"

"Lucy!" Mira shouted. "Stop promising him those lovely romantic things, Natsu is-"

"I'll even wear my maid uniform!" Lucy blurted out. Her cheeks bright red as she desperately clung onto Natsu's wrist.

Natsu leaned in and stared at her intently. "You promise?"

"I promise!"

"Hey Luce," Natsu murmured as he pressed his forehead against Lucy's, "April Fools!" he grinned as he suddenly leaped back. "Ha! Fooled you! Now you have to cook me dinner and give me a massage while wearing your maid uniform. Remember, you promised."

"Well done, Bunny Girl," Gajeel said sarcastically, "You totally played into his hands."

"And you can't get mad at me!" Natsu crowed. "Because you did the same!"

Knowing Natsu was right, and that meant Lucy couldn't give him a kick, Lucy ended up spluttering uselessly as Natsu dragged her out of the guild to do his bidding.

"Tee-hee!" Happy flew after them ecstatically. "He liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiikes her!"

"Goddamnit!" Gray whined. "We were so close to getting one over him!"

"Don't worry," Erza said as a steely glint appeared in her eyes, "There is always next year."