Summary: This was honestly how I thought babies were made….until I was six.

Pairings: Natsu/Lucy.

YouTube Prompt: Cheesy Fairy Tail tribute to 'Stand by Me' by Ben E, King.

Lucy can't remember exactly when it had started, just that one morning, after invading her apartment again, Natsu had made her eggs for breakfast.

They were green and sparkly, and she half thought she would suffer food poisoning as she took her first bite. Surprisingly, they were delicious, and she suffered no consequences (though she did suspect….Natsu spent days looking at her oddly, and then he got suspiciously disappointed).

Then every so often, Natsu would make her eggs for breakfast. And it was always eggs, and they were always weird.

Pink eggs, glittery eggs, rainbow eggs, giant eggs, miniature eggs…

They were far and between, and she never thought of it. Mostly because they were always too busy with near death experiences, jobs, and the guild breaking up and getting back together, for her to even notice. But after they got married, the strange eggs made an alarming constant appearance on her breakfast place.

In fact breakfast was the only time Lucy got to see her husband these days. He kept running off days on end and only came back with a new, rare, egg, which he always tried to make her eat it raw, before he gave in, cooked it, and spent days looking at her weirdly, before slowly getting agitated and muttering under his breath, before disappearing again.

"Lucy!" Natsu yelled delightedly. It was a bright morning, and Lucy was exhausted having found it difficult (again) to sleep without her personal heater. "Here," he pressed a large egg with a silver star on it to her lips. "Eat this, try not to chew it too much," he ordered.

Lucy shoved his hand away. "I told you many times before," she growled, "I'm not eating raw eggs."

"But Luuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucy," Natsu whined, "cooking it is killing the baby inside."

"Why are you trying to make me eat a baby?!" Lucy barked. "No," she held a hand up to silence Natsu before he spoke, "don't answer that," she mumbled, "instead, answer this; why are you so determined to feed me nothing but weird eggs?"

Natsu blinked and then looked at her sadly. "Don't you want a baby, Lucy?"

"W-w-what?" Lucy stuttered. They hadn't discussed having children before but it was certainly something that she had thought about before. She couldn't help but flush at the thought of her and Natsu's child, whether they would have pink hair or be blonde? Would they be silly and strong as Natsu or sensible and smart as Lucy? Or a bit of both? "Of course I do!" Lucy exclaimed. "Eventually," she tacked on, not entirely sure if she was ready to give up on her adventures with Natsu just yet. "But what does this have to do with the eggs?"

"What do you think, you weirdo?" Natsu scoffed. "You need eggs to make a baby."

"…you do know," Lucy managed to find her voice, "how babies are made, don't you?"

"Of course, Lucy!" Natsu grinned. "Levy explained everything. Human babies come out of very special eggs that the Dad gives to the Mum, right?"

Lucy doubted very much that was what exactly Levy had said…..but then again, her very scientific explanation probably flew over Natsu's head, and after several attempts to explain it again, Levy probably had given up and just simplified it to this

"Natsu," Lucy said slowly, "that's not how babies are made."

"Yes it is!" Natsu protested. "Levy wouldn't lie about it! She's not Gray! He told me babies were made from kissing."

"….well kissing is involved in the process," Lucy muttered.

"IT IS?!" Natsu yelled. "Is that what I've been doing wrong all this time?! Quick then," he pushed Lucy down and tried to shove the egg into her mouth. "Swallow this while I kiss you."

"Natsu!"

"Open wide!"

"Hmmph!" Lucy clamped her mouth shut tight as she tried to twist out of her insane husband's arms. "Natsu!" she shrieked. "Get off of me, you insane moron!"

"Not until you eat the egg!"

"LUCY KICK!"

Natsu sailed across the room and crashed against the wall. Stunned by the sudden attack, he dropped the egg, and it broke on impact, leaving a nasty, foul smelling, yoke stain on Lucy's carpet.

"No!" Natsu cried out. "The egg! Lucy, how could you?! Now we can't have a baby until I find another one!"

"Natsu," Lucy pinched the bridge of her nose, "that egg was never going to make me pregnant. You have misunderstood Levy, you don't give me the egg."

"Yes I do!" Natsu protested. "Levy said! I put it inside you, so the egg can hatch in your stomach, and grow into a baby before it pops out. But now the egg is gone and it's going to take forever for me to find another special egg."

"Natsu, you put it inside me but the it isn't an egg!" Lucy cried out exasperated. "The egg is already inside me!"

"IT IS?!" Natsu's eyes popped out at that. "THEN WHY HASN'T IT HATCHED?!"

"Well probably because you haven't fertilised it," Lucy hissed between gritted teeth, "that would help."

"How do I do that?!"

"By doing what Levy said – put it in."

"Put what in?!" Natsu yelped.

Lucy's eyes dropped to Natsu's crotch area. "Sex, Natsu," Lucy snapped, "She meant sex."

"Oh…OH!" Natsu's eyes widened in realisation. "All right!" he grinned. "That's way more fun that hunting for rare eggs." Lucy tried not to think of what sort of exotic, rare, endangered, species she may have helped made extinct. This was not something she really wanted to think about first thing in the morning. Or ever. Natsu's fingers slipped down to unfasten his trousers. "Let's do it, then!"

"Not now!" Lucy snarled. "I'm not in the mood!"

"Come on, Luce," Natsu pleaded as he leaned in closer. His hand playing with a strand of her hair, while the other was stroking the skin on her hip, and his eyes were compelling her to give in… "Let's make a baby," he murmured huskily against her lips.

"O…." the words died on Lucy's lips as she remembered exactly what led to this moment, and then how long Natsu's stupidity on the subject has been going on. "Hang on," she pulled back "you've been cooking me eggs for breakfast since before Tenrou Island."

"Yeah," Natsu blinked, "so?"

"So? So?! We weren't in a relationship at that point!" Lucy shrieked. "WHY WERE YOU TRYING TO GET ME PREGNANT BACK THEN?!"

"Erm…."

Certain that anything he was going to say would be the wrong answer, Natsu decided to escape answering the question by slamming his lips against Lucy's.

(And judging by the way she melted into his arms, returned the kiss and allowed him to coax her lips open with his tongue…..kissing was probably the correct answer.)