Summary: Gajeel follows the bro code.

Pairings: Gajeel/Juvia friendship, implied Gray/Juvia, implied Natsu/Lucy, implied Romeo/Wendy, implied Elfman/Evergreen, implied Happy/Charle, and lots of male friendship.

YouTube Prompt: Natsu/Lucy or Gajeel/Levy or Gray/Juvia or Jellal/Erza, or a mix of all of them to 'Seven Things' by Miley Cyrus.

The boys don't care what the girls say, their weekly meeting of drinking beer, fighting, and catching up were not gossip sessions, and never will be gossip sessions, and therefore they would really like it if Mira would stop calling them that.

It didn't matter what these sessions were really referred to, gossip sessions or manly male bonding time (Elfman's name for it), either way, these meetings were boys only, and what was said in them were for male ears only, which was something Gajeel obviously didn't understand as he brought Juvia with him.

"Why is Juvia here?!" Natsu whined. "If I thought we could bring girls I would have brought Lucy."

"And Charle!" Happy added.

Gray, Laxus, and a few others rolled their eyes at that. "You need time away from Lucy," Gray pointed out, "you're so co-dependant on her that it's ridiculous."

"And you," Lily said dryly to Happy, "know that Charle would hate these sort of meetings."

"I know," Happy sighed, "but Charle is so pretty…."

"What do you mean I'm so co-dependant?!" Natsu yelped. "You're around Lucy just as much as I am!"

"I am not!" Gray yelled. "I don't climb into her bedroom window and slip into her bed in the middle of the night!"

"No," Natsu growled, "toy sometimes come in from the chimney and sleep on our feet like a dog."

"What did you call me?!"

"LOVE RIVAL!" everyone jumped as Juvia thundered furiously. Her face dark and grim with supressed rage as she trembled. "Juvia knew it…." She managed to hiss out between gritted teeth. "Juvia knew Love Rival was seducing Gray-sama…..making her come into her bed…..and with Natsu-san as well!"

"IT'S NOT LIKE THAT!" Gray screamed. "See!" he whirled round to Gajeel. "See what has happened?! This is exactly why girls shouldn't be allowed in these meetings."

"D-d-does Gray-sama not want Juvia around?" Juvia sniffled. "Is it because Gray-sama does not like Juvia's company?"

"What?!" Gray yelped. "No!" he yelled panicked. "No! I like your company!" he said quickly. He hated tears especially when it was a girl crying them. Each and every time Mira cried, he felt like a horrible douche bag, but it was probably a hundred times worse when Juvia was the one crying. It didn't help that Gajeel instantly started to crack his knuckles in a threatening manner. "It's just we talk about private stuff. Really private stuff. Stuff that only boys can know."

"But Juvia knows too!" Juvia piped up eagerly. "Juvia knows all about Natsu-san feeling Love Rival up while she sleeps and only hopes that he has the balls to do it while she's awake and finally seduces Love Rival away from Gray-sama. Juvia knows about the rude things Warren-san sees with his powers, and the problems Max-kun has with his broom, and the crush Romeo-san has on Wendy-san, and how Elfman-kun likes being spanked by Evergreen-san, and how Happy is looking for the perfect fish to make Charle marry him, and that Droy-san suffers terrible gas, and Jet-kun spends forever doing his hair in the morning, and how Bickslow-san suffers terrible chaffing from his armour, and Freed-kun uses half a bottle of shampoo each time he washes his hair, and that Laxus-san has that really terrible rash on his bottom, and, and!" Juvia glowed happily in Gray's direction. "Juvia knows that Gray-sama really likes Juvia. Gajeel-kun said Gray-sama is being a total girl about it and that's why Gray-sama hasn't asked Juvia on a date yet. Don't worry Gray-sama!" Juvia clutched Gray's hands, "Juvia can wait until Gray-sama is ready. Just don't fall in love with any Love Rivals while I'm waiting."

"What?!" Gray squeaked.

"I do not!" Romeo flushed.

"Gajeel!"

"TELLING GIRLS ABOUT OUR MANLY SECRETS IS UNMANLY!"

"I thought we agreed!" Natsu whined. "Whatever is said here is never said to any of the girls. Especially Lucy. Don't tell Lucy!"

Gajeel, Gray, and Laxus all rolled their eyes at that. If Natsu didn't want to be brutally murdered by Lucy then he shouldn't have been fondling her breasts in her sleep.

"Agreed," Jet sulked, "you broke the bro code!"

"Dude!" Max cried out. "Whatever happened to bros before hoes?!"

"That's what's happened, you fucking moron," Gajeel rolled his eyes again, "Bro," he slung an arm round Juvia, "before hoe," he pointed at Gray.

"WHAT THE FUCK?!"

While Gray screamed, feeling incredibly offended, Natsu and Happy completely lost it and collapsed into hysterical laughter, Laxus' lips twitched in amusement, some were equally entertained, while others were feeling rather disturbed. Did Gajeel just refer Gray as a hooker?! The image wouldn't leave their mind….

"Well," Freed said blankly, "he does make a valid point."

"Yeah," Bickslow agreed, "put some clothes on, you prostitute."

"Crap! Not again!"