Summary: Set in my Gender Bend 'verse. Gildarts confronts Luca over his intentions towards Gildarts' girls.

Pairings: Parental Gildarts/Cana, Parental Gildarts/Natsu, implied Cana/Luca/Natsu triangle,

Author's Note: OH MY GOD! OVER FIVE THOUSAND REVIEWS! THANK YOU SO MUCH!

Gildarts couldn't help but notice it straight away when he first returned home.

After all it was kind of hard to not notice the pretty, blonde, boy that made all the girls swoon and it was even harder to not notice how Natsu was constantly in his presence which was absolutely insane for the girl who thought all boys were 'poopy-heads especially that icy prick Gray'.

"Huh," Gildarts blinked, "You're new."

"Jeeze," Cana rolled her eyes as she slung an arm round Luca's shoulder, "nice observation old man. Soon you'll be telling us the sky is blue."

"Erm," the boy sweat-dropped slightly, "Hi," he held his hand out, "I'm Luca."

Gildarts reached out to shake the boy's hand when he was suddenly kicked in the face by his favourite (but incredibly annoying) girl in the world.

"GILDARTS!" Natsu bellowed. "FIGHT ME!"

"Not right now, you brat," Gildarts swatted the girl away. Natsu flew across the room and crashed right into, a thankfully, empty table. "Luca, huh, and you're close with Cana?" he asked.

Cana never really bothered with guys before. Or at least, with the guys from the guild before. She considered them all boring or immature but this guy, this guy, she had her arms all over and rested her chin against his shoulder.

The boy didn't look very comfortable.

"I WANT TO FIGHT NOW!

"Natsu," Luca sighed.

Gildarts sighed as well as he was left with no choice but to vend off his annoying brat's punches and kicks. He couldn't help but notice from the corner of his eye of Cana suddenly grabbing hold of Luca's chin and forcing him to look at her.

Natsu also noticed it as she suddenly whirled round furiously and spat out a small ball of fire in Cana's direction.

Gildarts totally took advantage of her distracted state to knock her out firmly.

"Natsu!"

Luca pushed Cana aside to check on Natsu which caused several people to roll their eyes. "Jeeze Luca," Gray said, "don't bother. She brought it on herself by challenging Gildarts and being a pain in the arse."

"That doesn't mean that she won't require medical attention," Luca glowered, "she might have a concussion or something!"

And at that he swept Natsu up in the most princely manner possible, Gildarts could have sworn sparkles and flowers flew out of this guy and he acted the very epitome of a charming and dashing gentleman.

Cana crossed her arms and glared daggers at Natsu.

This boy, Gildarts thought as his eyes narrowed dangerously, is trouble.

FTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFT

Unfortunately there was very little Gildarts could do at the time (apart from teasing Natsu but that's another story). He had virtually no time to speak to Luca about his intentions towards both Natsu and Cana as he was suddenly turned into a chunk of magical crystal.

Seriously, there is nothing more ego damaging than waking up to find out that you were kidnapped into a parallel world, turned to crystal, about to be used as a weapon to destroy flying cats, and had to be rescued by the children of all people.

And then instantly afterwards there was a huge party to celebrate the fact Lisanna never died in the first place and Gildarts got caught up in catching up with one of his other favourite girls in the world.

He was pleased to see that Lisanna had grown up into a beautiful, kind, mature lady (unlike Natsu who he could have sworn he saw her make armpit farts at one point).

Then there was a lot of paperwork to fill out and boring adult stuff that Master wanted him to do, and then it was the S-Class exams.

He had been in the middle of fishing for breakfast with Natsu when Luca and Cana approached him (for one heart-stopping moment he feared they were going to announce their engagement or something and Gildarts would have a bloodbath on his hands considering the murderous look Natsu shot Cana). "You know what" Cana said suddenly turning round, "I've changed my mind, let's go back, and do something else. I can teach you things about women you would have never dreamt of," she added in a flirtatious purr.

Natsu growled dangerously.

"Erm," Luca flushed and sweat-dropped, "no thank you," he mumbled, and then he stood up taller and gave Cana a stern look. "You're doing this," he said firmly. "We haven't gone through all the hellish training, you trying to take showers with me," wait what? Gildarts suddenly felt murderous which was nothing compare to the spontaneous combustion standing beside him, "battling Bickslow and Freed, and then the entire horror of yesterday, for you to chicken out the last minute and then regret it for the rest of your life."

"Fine!" Cana snarled. "But if it fails epically then I'm burying your body right here."

Luca placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "It won't fail epically," he said softly with a sweet smile, "I promise you no matter what happens, I will al-ARGH!" Luca screamed as Natsu suddenly snatched his hand and dragged him away. "Natsu!" he cried out. "What are you doing?!"

"Cana wants to talk to Gildarts, not you, privately, right?" Natsu barked. "Well then we're giving them that privacy. Now give me your shirt! I'm cold!"

"You never get cold!" Luca argued. "And we're on a tropical….oh never mind," he sighed and began to unbutton his shirt.

Gildarts pondered on what would be the best move to deal with this obvious situation. Have a stern word with Natsu about asking very good-looking boys to strip or kill the stupid good-looking boy that was stripping in front of his girl…..he was leaning towards the killing bit.

Now how to kill without getting caught….

"Gildarts," Cana said eventually, "I'm…..I….I'm your daughter."

Gildarts suddenly felt like a ton of bricks hit him over the head and knocked his murder plans right out of them.

What?!

FTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFT

Enough was enough he decided.

It had been two weeks (well, okay, seven years and two weeks) since he found out about Cana being his daughter. During that time he had tried to bond with his precious little girl, fight off Natsu again, and watch both Cana and Natsu glare at one another over the stupid, poncy, blonde boy who seemed to have only gotten better looking with that stupid suit of his!

After another battle of the glares between Natsu and Cana over a sweat-dropping Luca, Gildarts decided once and for all he was going to put an end to it all.

That afternoon he confronted Luca.

"Oh," Luca blinked after opening his front door, "Good afternoon, Gildarts, come in, come in, would you like a cup of tea?"

Gildarts grabbed the boy's collar and hauled him up in the air. "I want to know right now, what are your intentions towards my girls?!" he yelled in the boy's face. "Are you in love with Cana or Natsu? Are you playing with them? Answer me before I crush you to death!"

The blonde boy blinked back at him. "…..So that's a not to a cup of tea, then?" he said eventually.

"Just answer my questions!"

"I have no intentions towards either of them," Luca said honestly, "well that is not entirely true. My intention is to be their friend. To be the best guild mate and assist them in any way I can."

"Assist them in what?!" Gildarts snarled. "Sex?!"

"No!" Luca cried out scandalised. "I don't believe in sex before marriage, and believe me, I have no plans to marry any time."

"Seriously?" Gildarts said disbelievingly. "No sex before marriage."

"Yes."

"That is your actual believe?"

"Yes," Luca said, "I was raised to be a gentleman not a scoundrel."

"….Are you sure you're a boy?"

"Yes," Luca said unimpressed. "Now can you let me go? I left a fish in the oven that will either burn or disappear if I don't get back to it."

Before Gildarts could ask what the hell Luca meant by that, a feminine voice called out; "Luca? Where have you gone, you weirdo?" and before Luca could reply, Natsu stepped out of the kitchen wearing only Luca's shirt. The stiff, starch, white material reached right down to the tops of her knees and the sleeves had to be scrunched up above her wrists, she looked almost like a child dressing in her parent's clothes if it wasn't for the completely rumpled hair and the way she was looking at Luca. "Oh," she screwed her nose up, "you're busy. I'll eat the fish with Happy then."

"Yay!"

She then went straight back into the kitchen to where apparently Happy was drooling over the fish in the oven.

Gildarts glowered at Luca. "I thought you said you don't believe in sex before marriage?!"

"I don't!"

"Then why is she wearing your clothes?!"

"I honestly don't know," Luca sighed heavily, "she insists on it ever since the first time I offered one to her when she stayed the night."

"It's three o'clock in the afternoon," Gildarts pointed out, "and why does she sleep at yours?! How often has that happened?"

"She was having a nap and…..I really don't know! This is Natsu we're talking about, she barges, rummages through my things, eats all of my food, and steals my bed. I spend more time sleeping on the sofa than I do in my own bed these days."

Gildarts dropped the boy in disgust.

He still didn't like the child, too perfect, and pretty, and charming to the girls for his liking, but he didn't think the boy was any danger to either Natsu or Cana's virtue.

….in fact, it was safe to say that it was Luca's virtue that was greatly in danger right now.