Leave me your coments.
BirdsandStars
—Remind me one more time why exactly am I moving here? —I'm telling her while I'm dropping off the bags I haven't yet dropped off on the couch.
—I knew you'd love the apartment, plus I don't think you have much choice, and I assure you, you won't even notice he's here. —she says very quietly with a smile.
It's not the first time she's made this comment.
—Why do you say that? —I ask her now with curiosity.
—Because, he leaves for his work before you arrive in the afternoon and comes back from it after you leave in the morning.
—What does he do for a living?
—I think, in a club, or something like that.
I'm watching him again as he goes to his room.
—Christian! —she calls him as he throws away the empty water bottle and walks in our direction with a slow, tired pace.
He stops in front of us.
—This will be your new roommate, her name is Ana. —she says, introducing us.
He stops in front of me. He is tall, taller than I had thought at first, and I have to lift my head up a bit to look at him properly. He wears a winter hat, which covers his whole head. His eyes look tired, he looks like someone who has hardly slept a few hours. I can barely tell what color they are. His face is covered by a dense, thick dark beard, which reminds me of the Viking series. I continue to look down now because of the clothes he is wearing. His clothes are two sizes too big, they are too wide and they don't look like his type at all.
He holds out his hand to me as a greeting. I think about it for a moment before reaching out to him and shaking his hand. The contact of his hand is strangely warm and electrifying to me.
—Nice to meet you. —he says, quickly removing his hand from mine. Even his voice sounds exhausted.
He moves his hand away so quickly, that I don't think he was aware of the electric current that flowed between them at that contact.
—Make yourself comfortable. —he says as he walks back to his room. —Excuse me, but I need to rest before I leave for work. —he says as he enters his room and closes the door.
Yes. It's not strange at all. He might be a vampire and suck my blood when I'm sleeping at night.
—So? What do you think? —Kate asks me out of my thoughts.
—The apartment, or your roommate? —I ask her by looking away from his bedroom door and looking at her.
Kate laughs.
—I know you like the apartment, Ana, I mean Christian.
—I don't know, I still don't see myself living with a man in an apartment. —I answer with a little doubt.
Kate doesn't know, that part of my life I haven't told anyone. I'm 24 years old and I've never lived with any man. The boyfriends I had, they were just boyfriends. None of them ever asked me to move in with them, let alone stay the night. And when they came to my apartment, I woke up alone the next morning. They would leave the moment I fell asleep or when they finished the sex act.
—Not even if he's gay? —Kate asks me, pulling me out of my memories and dropping her on the couch.
—Christian is gay? —I ask her now, intrigued by this new twist in the conversation.
—I don't know. In the almost ten months we lived together, I never saw him bring any women into the apartment.
—What about a man? —Kate's thinking about it.
—Now that you mention it, either.
—I don't like the way he looks, Kate. —I tell her honestly as I look briefly once more at the closed door of his bedroom.
—Do you mean because of the clothes that are too big for him or because of the huge beard he has?
—Not only that, but yes. —Why is he wearing such loose clothes? —I ask with curiosity since she has brought up the subject.
—He was fat. —she answers me as if nothing had happened.
—Is it serious? —I ask in amazement because I can't imagine him being fat.
—Yes. I don't know what happened in his life over the last few months. But suddenly he changed his job and started to lose weight.
—You never asked him? I thought you knew each other well?
—Yes. He told me that he had ended a relationship of several years and that it was time to rebuild his life.
—A relationship? And you never met this person?
—He's very private about his private life. He never brought her here. At least, not while I've been there.
—And the new one?
—No, neither. But I told you, don't worry. Besides, when you arrive in the afternoon you won't have to prepare the meal, that's a bonus. —she says to me with a smile.
—Why?
—He leaves it ready before he goes to work. We have an agreement, he makes the food and I make breakfast for him.
—A man who can cook? Isn't that every woman's dream? —I tell her while she's laughing out loud at me.
—It is. But he didn't give in to my charms, so like I said, he must be gay. —she answers me while we both laugh.
Yes, Kate is the typical woman all men drool over, even some women. I, unlike her, have not had much luck in my life with men. They're all assholes. At least all the ones I've had to deal with.
—But maybe you'll get him to surrender to yours. —she says with a smile as I sit next to her on the couch.
—First of all, I'm not physically attracted to him.
It's the truth. With that look, I don't think he'll be hanging out with many women. But then, for a brief moment, I remember the electric current that ran through my body as soon as our hands touched. That was definitely something new, I had never felt it before when I touched someone. I choose to ignore it, most likely it was the static.
—And secondly, you know I don't want to know anything about men in my life. —I tell her by laying my head back on the couch while I close my eyes exhausted.
—How long has it been now? —she asks me, and without looking at her, I know what she means.
—Almost a year. —I say quietly as I open my eyes.
She's my best friend. But since she asked me the first time, I've lied to her. I don't think changing and telling her the truth at this point is the best thing. So I go on with the same story.
—I don't believe it!—she says, holding back her laughter as I watch her roll her eyes. —Don't you think it's about time you met someone?
Kate repeated the same thing to me every weekend just before our daily outing. And every week I repeat the same thing to her. I'm not interested in a relationship with any man. She even suggested that I might be interested in a relationship with a woman. I remember I shouted a loud, resounding NO! After that, she had stopped asking. But to bring up the question again, right at this time when my life has become so complicated, makes me think about it again.
I don't know if I'm ready to have a relationship again. After the second relationship and the same thing happened to me over and over again, I decided to see a specialist. It couldn't be normal what was happening to me. Actually, I went to several specialists, because I wasn't satisfied with the results. But after several tests over and over again, they all told me the same thing. That I just needed more stimulation than usual and that I should discuss it with my couple.
Believe me, I tried. I explained to them what was happening to me, and the special need I had. But in the end it was easier for them to change me. I even faked orgasms, did whatever it took to save the relationship. But there came a point when I got tired of pretending something I didn't really feel.
I put my memories aside and decided to answer Kate. But this time, I decide to answer her something different.
—With this job, I don't have much time to think about anything, Kate.
—Tonight we're having a girls' night out, you need to forget everything that's happened to you in the last 24 hours. A one-night stand will solve all your problems. —she says to me as I roll my eyes. —I think a year is too long. I don't know how you've held out for so long.
I do. Kick boxing.
—And Elliot? —I ask when I see that she doesn't mention her boyfriend. Plus, I don't want to chaperone if he's going.
—Elliot's on duty at the hospital. —she says to me with a smile, pausing. —Don't you miss it?
—No. —I answer quickly, but I know I'm lying to myself.
But how can you miss something you've never been able to do right in your life? I had my first boyfriend when I was 15. But it wasn't until I was 19 that I had my first sexual relationship. I didn't want to just do it, I wanted to do it with the right person. But unfortunately, I thought he was the right person. He wasn't. He left me a week after he got what he wanted from me. After that I had two more relationships. One with a guy who went to college with me. He sat next to me and over time we became friends and then something else. The relationship lasted over two years, well, it lasted until he found someone much better than me. At least he had the decency to tell me and not deceive me, like the one who came after him. That one, he didn't even dare tell me, even after I found out he was cheating on me. After that, I decided I didn't want to have anything to do with men in my life for a while. I was sick of pretending. And with the new job, I didn't have much time to think about men. I release my sexual frustration by punching the bag in Kick Boxing class.
—So, no men in your life? —she asks me, bringing me back to reality.
—No.
—Not even if he's gay?
—Not even like that. —I say to her as we laugh out loud.
—I'm going to get ready and come for you at 8:30 pm. —she says, getting up from the couch.
—I don't think I' m in the mood to go out. —I say without energy.
—Nonsense, you'll see how with one night's body movement you'll forget everything.
—I can't promise to be the best company. —I'm still discouraged.
—I'll see to it that you have fun and maybe meet someone. —she says to me, raising her eyebrows suggestively.
—I'm not promising that either. —I tell her with a slight smile.
—Then I think I'll be going, I have to get ready for tonight. —she says with a smile as she says goodbye to me and heads for the door.
But she stops as soon as she opens it. She seems to remember something and turns to me.
—Consider what's in the closet as a gift for your move. —she says to me with a smile as she leaves.
And there I sit, assimilating everything around me. Of all the things we've talked about, Kate was right about one thing, I'm not going to find an apartment like this in such a short time. A yawn escapes my lips. I'm completely exhausted. I think I must have the same face as my new roommate. I don't think with all this tiredness, I'll be the best company tonight. But I can't cancel on Kate. I take both my shopping and my moving bags and head for my bedroom.
I need some music to organize my stuff. I look for my favorite playlist on my phone and slide my finger over it until I find the song I want to start with. And to the rhythm of Nick Jonas' Under You, I pour my moving stuff on the bed and then open the closet.
Kate wasn't lying when she said she'd left some clothes behind, but she forgot the detail that it's almost half a wardrobe. How many sizes have she gone up in such a short time?
I turn back to the bed. I have two dresses, one black and one blue. I don't think the blue one is right for a nightclub. So I put it in the closet. I leave black heels and a thong on the bed. The rest I put in the closet. I'm done pretty quickly, actually. It's barely 6:30 pm. I better start getting ready. I take the phone and the bag of toiletries and I take it to the bathroom.
The bathroom has a bathtub. And it's just what I need. I put my toiletries in the bathroom and start filling the tub. I see that Kate has left the smelling salts and the foam. They're not the ones I like, but they'll do for now. I pour them in the tub while I wait for the tub to fill up.
As soon as it's ready, I undress and dive into the water up to my chin and lay my head on the edge of the tub. After the night I've had, this is just what I need. A relaxing bath of foam and smelling salts. I change the playlist to a more relaxing one and put it down.
Now I can relax and enjoy in total tranquillity.