Summary: Sabertooth attempts to be professional….they fail.

Pairings: Sting/Rogue friendship, Lector/Sting friendship, Frosch/Rogue friendship, and some implied Sting/Yukino/Rogue if you squint hard enough.

YouTube Prompt: Natsu/Lucy video to 'Set Fire to the Third Bar' by Snow Patrol.

When Sabertooth got a strange request for someone mature and responsible there was much discussion over who to send.

Immediately they all agreed Orga shouldn't go because he was one of the most immature people outside of Fairy Tail. It was argued about whether Yukino would be able to handle it but Sting thought her shyness and timidity might be perceived as immaturity (that and they were worried that the maturity request was for nefarious reasons and they were not going to let some pervert near their girl), Rufus could be mature but he was away on a request already, and sadly neither Sting nor Rogue could be confident that their other members could behave in a mature and responsible manner.

So in the end the pair of them went and they left Yukino in charge of the guild.

After a gruelling, torturous, train journey where the pair of them spent it heaving out of the window while Lector and Frosch patted them on the back, they finally arrived at their client's home.

"Hi," the client greeted hem warmly, "I'm so glad you could make it. Come in, come in."

"Yes," Sting said hesitatingly, "erm….before we do, we wanted to inquire the….wording of the request."

"Oh?" the client frowned. "Was there something wrong with it?"

"The fact you wanted someone mature raised a lot of flags."

"Rogue!"

"What?" Rogue asked. "It's best if we're honest. The only real reason we didn't let Yukino do this job was because we thought there was some creepy pervert on the other side hoping to take her clothes off."

"Oh….oh!" the client's eyes widened in alarm. "Oh no! Nothing like that! I only want someone to do my gardening while I'm away for my expedition."

"…."

"…."

"…."

"….Are you sure that's not a metaphor for something?" Sting asked eventually, breaking the silence.

"Yes," the client said unimpressed.

"Then why the suspicious wording?" Rogue pressed. "Do you have rare plants that need special care?"

"No, no, nothing like that, I simply had some bad experiences with immature people," the client explained, "my surname is quite unfortunate and when members of Fairy Tail came….it didn't end well."

Mentally both Sting and Rogue face-palmed, they had come to care very much for the insane and wild and completely bonkers guild but it doesn't change the fact that only they could cause this mess.

"Oh come on," Sting grinned charmingly, "I'm sure your name isn't that bad."

"It's Mr Laycock."

Sting's smile froze slightly but he hadn't laughed and he managed to keep his sensible, mature, persona. "See," he coughed slightly, "not that bad at all. Now how would you like us to g…..Rogue, don't take this the wrong way but what is wrong with your face?!"

Rogue looked constipated.

More than that he looked like he was going to murder someone. Dark shadows seemed to have tightened themselves round him, his face was slowly turning blue, and he had a crazed look in his eye.

Mr Laycock sighed. "Look kid," he said patiently, "if you want to laugh that's fine. I've been laughed at my whole life, I'm used to it."

"Pfft! Gah!" Everyone's eyes widened in alarm as Rogue spluttered on a laugh. "Oh God! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!" he then immediately fell on the floor and began to roll about as he laughed hysterically. Tears of joy rolled down his cheeks. "Laycock!" he gasped. "That's hilarious! Tee hee! Pfft! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!"

"Man," Lector said slowly, "Rogue is even creepier when he laughs."

"Fro thinks so too Sama!"

"Rogue!" Sting hissed. "Calm down! It's just a name."

"Sorry! Sorry!" Rogue sat up and wiped the tears off his face. "It's just…..does anyone ever lay on your cock?! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!"

"Oh yeah," Mr Laycock rolled his eyes, "very original. Really mature. Like I haven't heard that one before. You know what? I've changed my mind. I'd rather hire another guild than you lot."

And with that he slammed the door.

It was highly embarrassing to go home with no money, Sabertooth's new reputation slightly tarnished, and Rogue was still giggling the entire way.

The giggling will haunt Sting's nightmares for all eternity.