Summary: Mira, Gajeel, and Cana decided to help Lucy make a successful move on Natsu….

Pairings: Gajeel/Cana/Mira friendship, implied Natsu/Lucy, implied Gray/Juvia, implied Gajeel/Levy if you really squint, Cana/Juvia/Mira friendship, some Gajeel/Juvia friendship if you squint a bit, Cana/Lucy friendship, Mira/Lucy friendship, and some Team Natsu friendship mentioned.

Author's Note: This is dedicated to WaterDragonMaverick, who wanted the guild to make a move on Natsu on Lucy's behalf….

"You're shitting me, right?"

It was a quiet evening in Fairy Tail in which half of the members were either at home or away on a job which allowed Kinana to take the evening off and Mira to spend more time gossiping with her friends than serving drinks. Mira and Cana were just going over Lucy's latest disastrous attempt in seducing Natsu when Gajeel burst out with that.

"I mean, come on," he carried on, "if a naked lady climbed into my bed, especially one I liked, I would be all over that."

"I know, right?" Cana agreed, "I can't quite decide whether he's really stupid or he's just not that into her."

"Nah, he's interested," Gajeel said, "he wouldn't be all over her and in her home, if he wasn't."

"Well then," Cana said disgustedly, "he needs to get a clue and fast. At this rate it's going to take one of my super strong and rare vodkas to get Lucy drunk enough to make another move. You do realise in the last six months she's built up an extremely high tolerance to alcohol. Soon she'll be at my level."

"Gihihihihihi," Gajeel sniggered, "there's no way that's possible. Personally," he said much more seriously, "I think Bunny Girl ought to stop depending on booze to make a move. No one takes a drunk girl seriously."

"Oi!" Cana squawked indignantly. "You saying you don't take me seriously?!"

"Definitely not," Gajeel snorted.

"Right!" Mira slapped the bar, hard, which made Gajeel flinch and Cana jump, "That's it!" she shrieked furiously. "I have had enough!" she threw her rag down on the floor and then pointed to Gajeel and Cana. "We're going to make a move on Natsu."

"Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!" Gajeel and Cana moaned in unison. "I don't like Natsu that way!" Cana continued. "Well, I mean I'm curious, but he's so immature and stupid that I can't get interested."

"I ain't banging Salamander," Gajeel said in a steely tone.

"I meant on Lucy's behalf," Mira rolled her eyes, "Lucy will be doing the shagging."

"Oh!" Cana brightened up at that. "Well that's all right then."

"Exactly how do you propose this?" Gajeel eyed Mirajane with scepticism.

"We'll strip them both," Mira explained, a demonic glint in her eyes which contradicted the sweet smile on her face, "then lock them in a tiny cupboard where they would have to be all over each other, and then let their natural attraction work!"

"… I can't see it working," Cana said eventually, "Natsu is so stupid and unaffected by this sort of thing that he'd probably engage Lucy in a game of thumb wars instead."

"Or eye spy," Gajeel snorted.

"That's no problem," Mira beamed, "we'll just make Natsu insane with lust."

"HOW?!"

"With the help of this!" Mira suddenly produced a clear bottle with a deep, dark, pink liquid inside. The top was a little crystal shaped into a heart. "This is the strongest, most powerful, lust potion in the world," she whispered, "a few drops of this and Natsu and Lucy won't be able to leave their bed for weeks."

Gajeel shuddered and grimaced at the thought while Cana smirked.

"All we'll have to do," Mira continued, "is drug Natsu, ensure Lucy is the first person he sees, by throwing them in a cupboard together, and let the magic work. And hey presto! I'm planning a wedding."

"Ooh!" Cana cooed. "Dibs on being Maid of Honour."

"Like hell!" Mira scowled. "I brought them together, I'm Lucy's first female friend in the guild, and I've shipped them since the ve – EEK!"

Gajeel and Cana blinked as a blue blur suddenly tackled Mira to the ground, they exchanged bewildered looks, and then very slowly they moved to peer over the bar…

Their jaws dropped open.

Juvia was straddling Mira, who was squirming beneath her, as she attempted to snatch the lust potion away. "Give," she bit out, "Juvia. The. Potion."

"No!" Mira snarled. "This is my matchmaking magic not yours!"

"Juvia needs it!" Juvia protested. "Juvia needs to make Gray-sama seduce her! Oh, Gray-sama!" she swooned slightly.

Mira took advantage of Juvia's distracted, dazed, state to kick her hard and push Juvia off of her and she then shot back up to her feet and made a run for it.

Juvia chased after her and blasted Mira with her water magic. Mira squealed as the full strength of a tidal wave hit her hard and she smashed into a wall, the bottle slipped from her fingers, and then –

SMASH!

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Mira and Juvia screamed. "MY DREAMS, RUINED!"

"Ah well," Cana said helping herself to a bottle of whiskey from the bar, "no need to cry over spilt potion. Let's all drink instead. We'll surely come up with another way to get Natsu and Lucy to hook up."

"And to help Juvia and Gray-sama hook up as well?" Juvia asked hopefully.

"Sure," Cana shrugged, "why not?"

"Don't encourage her!" Gajeel hissed.

He was ignored as the girls proceeded to drink and plot about how to get other couples together. It got highly embarrassing when they decided to dissect his love life and for the seventy eighth time that evening he wished he joined Lily, Charle, Wendy, and Romeo's job request.

Stopping bandits robbing trains, and suffering motion sickness, was a million times better than trying to come up with ideas on how to get Natsu naked.

(Meanwhile, on the other side of Fiore, Gray and Erza attempt their own matchmaking scheme by setting Natsu and Lucy up with the honeymoon suite of the hotel they were staying in. unfortunately the pink scheme with love hearts, rose petals, and champagne only sends Lucy into a flustered state and makes Natsu try and choke Gray with the crystal dish filled with condoms. In the end Lucy ends up sharing Erza's room while Natsu and Gray proceed to destroy the honeymoon suite…..)