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BirdsandStars

The class has been exhausting. But it was what I needed. I return to the apartment exhausted and with nothing else on my mind but a delicious, refreshing shower.

I walk into the apartment and go straight to the bathroom. I undress, and go under the cold water. This is just what I needed to relax my overheated muscles from so much training.

I feel a few steps outside the bathroom and stare at the door. I can see its shadow underneath. He wouldn't dare come in, would he? A few seconds later, I feel his footsteps again and the shadow disappears.

I finish my bath, I have to remember to look for a hair dryer, I can't go on like this. I take a towel, dry myself and get out of the shower into the room.

I'm drying my hair when he knocks on the door.

—Yes! —I yell at him because I don't want him to come in, I'm only wrapped in a towel. —Wait a minute! —I tell him as I'm rushing to the door.

I open the door a little, just enough for him to see me. I can see how his gaze stops momentarily on my wet hair and then slowly descends to the towel I have wrapped around my body.

—I order some pizzas. —he tells me as he looks up and into mine.

—Okay. —I answer by staring at him. —Something else?

—No, just letting you know they'll be here in a while.

—All right, I'll get dressed and go out. —I tell him as I slowly close the door.

I close my eyes and lie down at the door breathing heavily. Why does his presence make me feel this way? I've never felt this way close to any man before. I go to the closet to get some clothes. But for my luck, or bad luck in this case, of the clothes Kate left me there aren't many choices other than short shorts, T-shirts and formal work clothes, ah, and some dress. So, without further ado, I take a short and put it on.

Oh, my God!

Where did Kate go with these shorts?

The shorts fit my body and they fit just below my buttocks, they cover them, but just enough to show nothing. I put a shirt on and leave the room. I see Christian with his back to me in the kitchen. The first thing I notice is his wide back under the tight-sleeved shirt he's wearing. And then I notice he's got two pizza boxes in front of him.

—I asked for Hawaiian and Neapolitan because I didn't know which one you liked. —he says to me as I walk up to him.

The pizzas smell delicious and my stomach is roaring with hunger. After the training, besides being exhausted, I am hungry. I see him putting several slices of Hawaiian on a plate.

—If you like Hawaiian, I think we're gonna have a serious problem. —I tell him as he turns to me and looks at me smiling.

As he turns around, I look down at is wide, well-formed pectorals that are perfectly marked under his shirt. And my breath is cut off.

—We can share it. —he says to me as he takes the other one too and then walks into the room, taking his body away from my curious gaze.

I take a plate and start putting my slices of pizza on it before I go into the living room and sit in the chair, away from him. I start eating my pizza, it's delicious. But I can see out of the corner of my eye that he's staring at me. I look up and see him staring at me.

—Is something wrong? —I ask him with a frown.

—Are those Kate's clothes? —he asks me suddenly.

—Yes.

—I thought she'd taken them all.

—Luckily for me she left some behind. —I answer very quietly.

—Lucky for you? —he listen to me perfectly and he stops eating. —Don't you have any clothes? —he's worried now.

—It's a long story.

—We have time and that's how we know each other. What happened?

—When Kate called you because I needed a place to stay I'd just left the police station after spending the night there in interrogation.

—What happened to you? —I can see the frown, the concern reflected on his face.

—To me, nothing. But it turns out my roommate had psychological problems and took out her anger on the pizza delivery guy.

—She killed him? —he asks in amazement.

—Yes, and then she ran away. She's still on the loose. —I say pensive. I have no idea if she's been caught or not. The police haven't contacted me so I can get my things back.

—And you couldn't get anything out of your room?

—To my misfortune, the bitch had passed by my room and spread all the stuffs around. So they could only give me what was in the closet that she hadn't touched.

—So you don't have any clothes to wear? —It's very serious now.

—I did some shopping, I don't want to spend a fortune on clothes when I finally get back what's in my apartment. And Kate has left me quite a few things she didn't wear anymore. —I'm telling him without wanting to admit that what she left me most of all were shorts and T-shirts. Besides blouses and skirts for work and some dresses.

—Can I ask you a personal question? —he says, staring at me. —You don't have to answer if you don't want to. —he says, lightening the mood, while giving me a slight smile.

I nod in his direction without imagining what he is going to ask me.

—Were you serious last night? —he asks, making me open my eyes wide.

And I stare at him as he bites into the pizza without taking his eyes off me.

—What part, I said so many things last night. —I answer him knowing exactly what part of everything I said last night is about.

—Everything. What you wanted to do to me and the part where you wanted someone to make you moan and scream with pleasure like you've never done before.

How could he possibly remember the exact words I said to him?

—I wasn't in my right mind last night. —I tell him by biting into the pizza and looking down as I feel my breath start to speed up in the face of this unexpected conversation.

—So, none of what you said you really meant? —he says to me as I raise my eyes slightly.

Christian is staring at me as he holds his lower lip between his index finger and thumb, pensive.

—Don't you want me to fucked you, Ana? —he suddenly asks me.

I almost choke on the pizza in my mouth. Is he offering me sex? Because if he is, then Kate's wrong and he's not gay. I can tell by the look on his face that he's serious. Very serious.

Oh, shit! Oh, shit!

What kind of trouble am I in?

Let's see how I get out of this mess.

—I'm sorry, Christian. —I'm really embarrassed. —I know I said a lot of things last night and I regret everything that happened. I've never been drunk before, much less drugged. And even if I try to eliminate those memories, they're still fresh in my mind. I'm not going to lie to you, last night I felt happy, warm and excited, but as soon as the effect wore off, I felt like a complete idiot.

I don't lower my gaze. Instead I stare into his eyes so that he sees that what I'm telling him is the truth. He's watching me with his hypnotic blue gaze. He gets up from his seat and comes over to me. He bends over to my side as he places the pizza plate on the coffee table and then takes my hands in his.

—You're not an idiot, Ana. Someone simply took advantage of you, just as they would have taken advantage of someone else. That doesn't make you an idiot, it makes you a victim of the dirty scheme of a pervert who just wanted to take advantage of you.

—But still, I felt terrible this morning. I didn't know how I was gonna look at you.

—As you're doing right now. —he says to me, giving me a smile. —As if nothing had happened. —he lets go of my hands and picks up his plate and sits down again. —But a word of advice. —he says to me as I stare at him. —All clubs aren't the same, next time you should be accompanied, not alone, I've seen too many drugs in nightclubs lately. —he says, getting very serious.

And with those words the conversation ends. He goes on with his pizza and I go on with mine. And I don't dare ask him anything.

Later that night, as I lie in bed and stare at the ceiling, I wonder what would have happened if I had answered something different.

What would have happened if I had answered the truth that is hidden deep inside of me and which I refused to admit. Last night I had drunk, but not enough to not know what I was saying or doing. I know very well in my heart that everything I told him was true. That for the first time in a long time I was wanting a man again. One I barely know.

That I was wanting him.

I didn't even dare to admit that for a moment this afternoon, I had wished he would kiss me and hold me against the bathroom wall.

I don't know what's happening to me. But tonight I don't intend to find out. I turn off the light on the bedside table, hug the pillow and stop thinking about my sexy, attractive roommate.

— Don't you want me to fucked you, Ana?

His words come back to my mind. As hard as I try, I can't stop thinking about it. And as the question repeats itself over and over in my head, it is joined by the images of him wet with the towel around his waist coming out of my bathroom and the both of us wet in the shower. And for a moment I think about whether he meant what he said about fucking me.

It's been a long time since I felt like that. I smile as I close my eyes and hold back a groan. I know I'm lying to myself. But for the moment, I'm going to try to ignore what I feel every time he touches me, or looks at me, or when I see him half-naked.

Yeah. If I've managed to control my body for two years, who's to say I can't control it now. It's the last thing I think about before I fall into a deep sleep.

I leave my room, dressed and ready for a new day of work. To my surprise, breakfast is ready and next to it is a note attached.

I'm sorry if I offended you with my comments last night, I promise it won't happen again. From now on, I'll behave like the best roommate you've ever had.

Christian.

Great!

I'll have a quick breakfast and then head off to work.

I have to take a taxi today. My car is still in police custody. And it will remain there for at least 24 hours. I think.

I'm getting out of the elevator with a machiato in my hand for Elena, when Kate quickly approached me as I walking to her office.

—She's strangely happy today, I don't know why, but everyone's comment is that it's because of the substitute driver.

Right. I forgot about that. She had a substitute driver this week. Her driver, who she's been with for several years, had a family emergency and had to leave.

—By the way, how's it going with Christian?

I close my eyes to the memory of the night at the club, and everything I said to him. It's definitely a day I don't want to remember. I'm still deciding if I want to remember yesterday. Although it's a little harder to forget his body, and even harder to forget the last thing he said to me.

—Good. —I'm answering without giving her any more information. —Should we meet for lunch? —I say goodbye to her when I get to Elena's office.

I knock on her door and she sends me in.

—Good morning, Elena. —I tell her by putting the machiato on the table, on a coaster.

—Morning, Ana. All set for today?

—Yes. —I answer her as I go over everything in my mind and start reminding her. —Morning's a bit hectic. At 9:00 am has a meeting with the New York Times, they want to do a coverage on the author of his new best seller. At 10:30 am has a meeting with Francesca Britania to finalize the details of her new fashion show that will be next Wednesday and at 12:15 pm has a lunch with Steven Sanders.

—Well, a pretty busy morning. And in the afternoon?

—Has several interviews with different non-active sports personalities. The first one is at 1:30 pm.

—Remind me the reason? —she asks me as she sips his coffee and smiles at me.

—Men Fitness Magazine is working on its next publication about retired celebrities and wants us to find someone interesting for its cover next month. They're coming by later this week to get the names of potential candidates.

—A pretty busy day. —she says, leaving the coffee on his desk again. —Thank you, Ana. —I'll let you know if I need anything.

And that's my cue to leave her office for mine next to hers.

I work for an advertising company. We cater to all kinds of personalities, from novelists to famous models, from Hollywood actors to fashion designers. We take care of contacting them for events or interviews, or photo shoots. And as busy as Elena's day is, so is mine.

After several weeks under her command, she decided that I would accompany her to most meetings. And that's exactly what I've done for the last year. Elena has been teaching me everything there is to know about the workings of the Company. So you can say that after her, I'm the one who knows the most about the company.

The company is small, we don't have much staff, just the necessary. But in spite of everything we have earned respect and a place in the world.

The morning passes quickly and at 12:20 pm I go to lunch with Kate. She starts asking questions about Christian, which I try to ignore or pretend I don't pay much attention to. Seeing that I don't want to talk about my new roommate she stops insisting and we start talking about a weekend outing somewhere.

When I go back to my office I stop by Elena's. She hasn't arrived yet and has an interview at 1:30 pm. At that moment my cell phone rings. I look at the screen and when I see that it's her I answer without hesitation.

—Yes Elena.

—Ana, this lunch has gone on long enough. Do you think you can handle the afternoon interviews?

—Sure Elena, no problem at all. —I'll tell her while I'm remembering the personalities I have to interview.

—All right, the car will be at your disposal for the rest of the afternoon, I've already sent it so it won't be long. Tomorrow you'll update me on how the interviews went. —and hang up.

This is the first time she's let me take care of anything and that just shows me how much confidence she has in me. I pick up my bag and the documents I need while I look at the time. It's 1:05 pm, I have just enough time to get to the first interview.

I go outside. The car is parked a few feet ahead of me and I can see the driver leaning against the door while his face is hidden behind the New York Times news.

—Good afternoon, to Rockefeller University. —I say stopping next to him.

I look down and pull up my skirt.

—Good afternoon, Miss Adams.

I'd forgotten that this is not the driver I'm used to. That it was a new one. But that voice sounds strangely familiar. I look up from my grey tube skirt at the person in front of me standing just three feet away.

—You! —I exclaim in amazement as I literally stand there with my mouth open.

He's wearing a black suit that fits him perfectly, he has a white shirt and a black tie. He has his hair up, but some locks fall on his face making him look stunningly sexy. More than usual. He's coming over to me. I look up as he comes closer. I can't take my eyes off his.

—You're literally standing there with your mouth open. —he says to me when he stops in front of me.

—I never imagined you could look so...

—Fabulous? —he says with a half smile as he raises an eyebrow.

—I was actually thinking sexy and attractive. But we can leave it at fabulous. —I say with a smile.

And then I realize what I just told him. But he doesn't say anything about my comment.

—Shall we go? —he says to me as he takes a step towards the car and opens the back door.

He offers me a hand and helps me up by closing the back door. I watch him move gracefully as he turns the car around. When he's sitting behind the wheel, I stare at him through the rearview mirror.

—Is something wrong? —he asks, staring at me.

—Nothing, it's just that I never imagined you like this.

—Like what?

—So different.

—Different? —I see him raise an eyebrow without understanding what I mean.

—Yes, I don't know many gays guys so I don't know if they all look as fancy as you do. —I let go quickly without thinking about my words and only then do I realize what I just said.