Summary: Natsu takes a saying a little too literally….

Pairings: Implied Natsu/Lucy and male friendship feels.

YouTube Prompt: Boys tribute, mostly Natsu though as he's childish enough for it, to 'I Wish I was James Bond' by Scouting for Girls.

"Oi, Natsu!" Gray yelled over his shoulder. "Are you coming or what?"

It was that special night once a month, where all the girls had either locked themselves into a bedroom, or gone out somewhere secretly, and therefore the boys were having their own boy night where epic adventures (and maybe some girl spying) will happen.

This time, they were going to drink until their livers gave out in different bars surrounding their guild.

You know, since it's been seven years, and they're rather certain their last tab, and the damage bills, and the fines, have definitely been paid off….Macao did pay those, right?

"Nah," Natsu scrunched his nose up, "I can't go anymore. Lucy won't let me. She said so after I puked up all over her feet for the third time in a row. She was really, really cross, like Erza cross." He shuddered at the memory.

The boys all exchanged disgusted looks, was Natsu a man or not?!

"How unmanly of you!" Elfman burst out. "To not only vomit on a lady's feet, which is incredibly unmanly, but to not go on a man's night out. BOYS NIGHTS ARE MANLY!"

"Urgh," Freed grimaced, "as much as I hate to admit it, Elfman has a point."

"A very good one," Gray agreed, "don't let your woman dictate your life for you, Natsu. It's our night out."

"But I don't want to make Lucy angry!" Natsu whined. "When she's angry she won't let me sleep in her bed, or cook me pancakes, or tell me a story, she gets all cold and mean, and I don't like it. I'd much rather do what she says and have her happy with me."

"Man," Bickslow scoffed, "you're whipped."

"Well yeah," Natsu agreed as he scratched the back of his neck, "Lucy does own a whip." Everyone sweat-dropped at that….did Natsu just say that…..? "But then she's never used it on me," Natsu shook his head suddenly, "so I'm not whipped, ha!"

Several people face-palmed at this, other sweat-dropped, and Freed briefly considered hitting Natsu over the head with a thesaurus or something. Just so he would learn something.

"Natsu," Gray snarled impatiently, "he didn't mean literally, you stupid, moronic, Ash Brain! He meant figuratively. It's a figure of speech that you'll do whatever Lucy wants."

"Don't be stupid, you pervert!" Natsu snapped. "You're all over-thinking it. It's simple enough, being whipped means being whipped, and although Lucy owns a whip, she has never used it on me, so it doesn't mean I'm whipped. So ha!"

Gray wondered if it was possible to have a brain haemorrhage caused by someone else's stupidity, and if so, was he having one? If not…..could he? Just so he didn't have to deal with this idiot anymore.

"Natsu," Laxus growled, "the saying 'you're whipped' means that you're a spineless mess that would do anything the woman in your life tells you to do because you're a pathetic coward when it comes to her anger. It. Has. Nothing. To. Do. With. Whips." He added slowly between gritted teeth. "And if you try to continue this argument and ruin Boys Night Out, I will personally prove you're whipped by telling Lucy all about-"

"Okay! Okay!" Natsu interrupted hastily. "I'll stop the argument now…even though I'm not whipped because Lucy has yet to use hers on me," he added hurriedly, Laxus' eye twitched and a spark of electricity could be seen jumping off of him, but he chose not to say anything. "Though," Natsu mumbled, "I really wouldn't mind if she used it on me…."

Gray, and everyone else, suddenly lost all will to live after hearing that, as they were suddenly plagued with far too vivid imagery, and their bodies turned into soulless husks as they tried to escape their torment.

"Forget the fucking bars," Gajeel snapped as he marched further into the guild and towards a supply closet, "no large amounts of booze is ever going to erase that image. I'm going to need bleach."