Summary: Cobra's friends worry after his sanity, especially as he is claiming his one-night stand is his old pet snake. Some dialogue sort of stolen from Doctor Who.

Pairings: Cobra/Kinana, and some general friendship feels.

YouTube Prompt: Cheesy couple tribute to 'Sweet Caroline' by Neil Diamond.

It was the beginning of what had become the average day for Jellal and his new guild members, wake up, have a quick bite to eat, and pack up before anyone recognises them and calls the authorities. Their job was done, another evil-doer had been subdued, the innocent have been taken care of, and it was time to redeem themselves elsewhere….

Only this morning Cobra was nowhere to be seen.

"Has anyone seen Erik?" Jellal asked. "We need to leave, soon."

"Nope," Racer said quickly. "Don't care, either."

"Last I saw him was when he was chatting up that pretty barmaid," Meredy shrugged, "Perhaps he's busy," she giggled.

Several people pulled faces at the thought of that while Jellal sweat-dropped. He swears Ultear had let Meredy read one romance novel too early, and now he has to deal with the consequences.

"Can you go and find him?" Jellal asked. "Now," he added firmly.

"Who do you think you are?" Midnight snorted from the corner. "Our boss?"

Jellal raised an eyebrow.

Midnight scowled defiantly.

Jellal's eyebrow went up higher, unimpressed, and his pursed his lips tightly.

"Oh fine!" Midnight huffed. "We'll go and find him! Come on Racer, Hoteye."

Racer and Midnight grumbled amongst themselves while Hoteye followed with content quietness as they made their way up to Cobra's room. With another huff of impatience, Midnight banged on the door, there was a sudden thud that made them frown in worry and then silence. Midnight banged on the door again. Quickly they pressed their ear against the door and were able to catch some muffled cursing.

"Screw this!" Racer snapped, having lost all patience, "We're coming in!"

And with that he suddenly flung the door open and flew in quickly. "HOLY SHIT!" he yelled before he staggered back into the other boys.

They too, stood there gobsmacked as their jaws dropped open and their eyes widened.

They couldn't believe their eyes…..

It wasn't like they haven't seen naked, pretty, girls before. They lived with two and sometimes travelling as fugitives meant you had to share and see things you wouldn't normally see.

They had even seen Erza Scarlet naked once.

(Though they were still uncertain as to how they managed to survive the experience.)

But they never had seen a strange pretty girl. A strange, naked, pretty girl who had obviously slept with one of their friends.

And Cobra at that! He was insufferable with his constant 'I hear everything'.

"Look!" Cobra grinned childishly. The three other boys inwardly shuddered and wondered if the world had ended or something. After all, he wasn't even irritated that they had burst into his bedroom. Cobra usually hated it when someone invaded his privacy. "It's Cubelios! My old snake, and she's a human girl."

"We can see that…"

Well no, they couldn't. Because this was a normal girl, a shy, and obviously very timid girl as she tried to cover herself up from their gawking stares. She had rich purple hair that was the same shade of Cubelios' scales and her dark, round, eyes were very similar to….no! It can't be….can it?

The boys exchanged conflicted, confused, looks, while the girl tried to get dressed which was quite a difficult task as Cobra kept petting her head and under her chin and then kissing her chastely on whatever bit of skin he could touch just like he used to do with Cubelios….

Okay! Next town they're in, they're getting Cobra therapy sessions.

"I heard that!" Cobra scowled. "I'm not insane. This is really Cubelios, she had never been a snake, she had been cursed, and now-"

"Hey guys," Angel drawled in a bored tone from the doorway. "Jellal wants to know what are you all do- what the hell?!" she cried out as she pointed at the naked girl. "Who is she?"

"It's Cubelios!" Cobra said delightedly. "She used to be my snake, remember? And now she's a girl, she used to be a snake, and now she's a girl, a really, really, pretty girl," he finished off dreamily.

The poor girl blushed in reply.

Angel stared, completely unimpressed. "Did you just wish really hard?"

"No!" Cobra spluttered.

Angel looked disbelievingly and turned her eyes onto the girl, who was now putting on her dress, the boys choked when they noticed a certain guild mark before her dress cover it up. The girl met Angel's eye…..and grinned devilishly. "Hi," she said with great confidence that she hadn't had earlier, "I'm Sexy."

If it was possible for someone to die of embarrassment….Cobra would have done it.