Summary: In which Loke makes a desperate attempt to prove he and Lucy are destined to be….and Natsu disagrees.
Pairings: Implied Loke/Lucy, Natsu/Lucy, Gray/Juvia, Laxus/Lucy if you squint, and general friendship feels.
Author's Note: For maidenoftheluminousrapture, who wanted a sort of sequel to Juvia's Logic.
It was a typical day at Fairy Tail, which of course meant half the guild was either out on jobs or slowly destroying the guild building. Already Natsu had managed to break six chairs in his fight with Gray alone.
Lucy was in the middle of trying to eat her lunch (unfortunately her chips kept going missing as Natsu was using them to annoy Gray) when Loke suddenly appeared and clasped her hands in his. "Lucy, my love!" he greeted her melodramatically. "I have come to reassure you that you and I are indeed destined to be together!"
"WHAT?!"
Lucy had shrieked this while Natsu stopped throwing chips at Gray and turned round furiously to bark the word.
Their horrified or angry reactions were ignored by Loke who chose to kiss Lucy's hand. "Yes," he pressed another kiss on Lucy's other hand, right on her guild mark, which seemed to cause a spontaneous fire on Natsu. "I have been discussing things with Juvia and I have come to the logic that since your name means light and my magic is….well light," he chuckled as he waved a hand and summoned the gold light he tended to blind his enemies with. "We are obviously destined to be together."
"LIKE HELL YOU ARE!"
Lucy barely ducked in time when Natsu's flaming fist smacked right into Loke's nose. Loke's sunglasses instantly fell off and shattered on the ground.
Everyone turned intently as they waited for another brawl to start.
Loke, however, decided not to retaliate just yet as he pulled out a handkerchief for his nosebleed and another, new pair of sunglasses from his jacket pocket. He coolly replaced his sunglasses and then covered his nose to stop bleeding out on his suit. "You're just jealous," he said in a muffled voice, "because there's no real link between you and Lucy proving you're destined to be together."
"You're wrong!" Natsu snapped. "The same crap you said about light and magic works for me too! Fire is light. So that means we would be destined together as well."
"That is screwed up logic!"
"It's your logic!" People's mouths dropped open at the clever point, Natsu had made. They then quickly checked to see if the world was still intact because surely this meant the apocalypse was coming. "Besides, I have more!" Natsu said triumphantly as he draped an arm round Lucy. "My name means summer and Lucy is born in the summer, so Ha!"
"That's stupid!" Loke snapped. "Lucy and I have a bond. Her name, like Gray's name, is intimately linked with my magic. Birthdays and names have no place in this conversation. Lucy and I are obviously fate's choice for most beautiful couple."
"You're the one being a moron!" Natsu retaliated. "Two is better tha one, and I have two pieces of fate crap to prove that you're not the one destined for Lucy."
"That's stupid!"
"You're stupid!"
"No, you're stupid."
"No, you're stupid."
"No, you're stupid."
"No, you're stupid."
"No, you're stupid."
"No, you're stupid."
"No, you're stupid."
"No, you're stupid."
"No, you're stupid."
"No, you're stupid."
It was at this point that Natsu and Loke were right up in each other's faces as they poked one another as hard as possible the chest. Lucy had the misfortune to be stuck right in the middle, and was currently terrified that they would start fighting over her on….well her.
She can easily see herself being stuck in the middle of the brawl, accidentally punched, kicked, and burnt.
"Why me?!" she wailed. "Someone!" she looked around helplessly. "Help me!"
Unfortunately Gray was too busy trying to escape Juvia, who was trying to pull the chips out of his hair that Gray was oblivious too, Happy was more interested in his fish, as were many other people who decided their lunch was definitely more interesting than Natsu and Loke being stupid, and Mirajane seemed intent to find out who would win Lucy's hand….
"Enough!" Laxus growled, fed up with the shouting. "You're both being fucking stupid. If you want to go by that logic then every guy is destined for Lucy, you're saying I'm destined for her because I'm blonde."
Lucy gulped as both Natsu and Loke's faces darkened with fury and a terrifying dark aura leaked out of them. "LOVE RIVAL!" they both screamed.
Laxus blinked. "The fuck?" he asked his friends.
"….It's official," Freed sweat-dropped, "Juvia's insanity is contagious."