I don't have much strength to talk or move. Two orgasms have been more than I could have wished for tonight. Although I would have liked to feel him inside me. But he told me that later, so I still have hope.

I sit on the bed and watch him as he picks up his pants from the floor to put them on. Only then, when he is putting them on, do I notice the scar on his right leg. It extends from almost the knee to the upper thigh, disappearing below the boxer shorts.

Why didn't I see it before? I'm sure it was because I was absorbed in admiring his abs, or his erection.

I look away, but Christian realizes what I'm looking at. However, he doesn't say anything about the scar on his leg. And I don't ask him. At least I won't now. But I imagine it has to do with the accident he had, which ended his career.

He steals a kiss from me before heading for the bedroom door. And there I stand watching him as he disappears. I drop into bed, ecstatic and satisfied. I've never felt like I do right now before. But then the smile fades from my face when I realize what I have just done. I have just become intimate with a person I have known for less than a week. What if he is a serial killer?

Although I don't think I'm so unlucky to have two psychopathic roommates.

But I know absolutely nothing about him. Only that he owns a restaurant, two restaurants, that he is a former MMA champion and that he had an accident. Oh, and that he likes to fuck hard. Although that, I haven't checked yet. I get out of bed, I'm a little sticky from the syrup. I quickly pass by the bathroom and take a quick shower before putting on some panties and a t-shirt to sleep. I look for my phone and decide to do a quick search. I need to know more about him. I type his name in the search engine.

Christian Rodriguez.

But the search produces no results. Isn't that his last name? I change the search for another option.

Christian, former MMA champion.

This time I get results, but with a totally different last name.

Christian Grey.

I don't understand why the change of surname, but it's not something I'm interested in finding out right now. I'm concentrating on the most important thing.

The first thing that appears are photos of him with the championship belt in 2016. In them he doesn't have long hair and is perfectly shaved. He looks so different that I find it hard to believe he's the same. I open more photos. There are pictures of him at parties and charity events, smiling with a blonde woman on his arm that I don't recognize and that I imagine is part of his past. Below is a piece of news that catches my attention. I skewer and open in another window.

"Christian Grey in serious condition after car accident"

Serious condition! I look at the date of the news. It's almost four years ago. It was a few months after he got the belt. I keep reading until I get to the picture of his car.

The car is unrecognizable. It is a red iron ball. I don't understand how he is alive, or how they got it out of there. I turn off the phone. I can't read this anymore. I leave the room towards the kitchen where Christian is preparing something that smells delicious.

I don't think this is a good time to ask him about his past. Also, I don't think he likes to dwell on his accident. I make an attempt to forget what I just discovered about Christian.

—Are those your sleeping clothes? —he asks as he looks at me briefly as I sit on a bar stool.

His comment makes me briefly forget what I just found out. I look at the plate in front of me where there are some slices of cheese.

—Don't you like it? —I ask him while I take a piece of cheese and put it in my mouth.

—I imagined you with more silk and lace. —he says to me as he turns over some steaks he has on the plate.

—This is what you get. —I tell him, shrugging my shoulders.

The time when I used to wear silk and lace to impress and seduce a man is over. In the end, no one could appreciate the sexy lingerie outfits I wore. So I decided to stop wearing them. The only thing I keep in lace are the panties and the adjusters. Although I only wear them on certain occasions. Besides, I don't have all my clothes here to choose from.

—What are you preparing? —I ask him as I watch him now take some French fries out of the pan.

—Dinner. —he says to me as I smile.

Five minutes later, dinner is ready. Steak and fries. He put the potatoes on a plate in the center of the counter and a steak for each one. But that's not all. He takes a bottle of ketchup and pours a huge amount into a tea bowl. He takes out the silverware and sits down next to me. I still haven't looked away from the steak in front of me.

—Are you going to stare at the plate all night? —he says as I look back at him.

—I'm sorry. —I tell him as I take the silverware. —I still can't get used to anyone cooking for me.

—Well, you better get used to it. —he says to me as he starts to eat.

And then his words go deep into me. In less than a week we have gone from roommates, to acquaintances, to teacher-student, to co-workers, to lovers. I think we're going very fast. We barely know each other, he barely knows me. He has no idea about my tastes, or my favorite songs. I don't even know if this is just casual sex or something else. Although he told me that he wants me and that he's been watching me for a year now. But that doesn't mean he wants a relationship.

Do I want a relationship?

Well, I think after two years, for the first time I'm rethinking it.

But I'm sure I don't want anything serious at the moment. I've had enough disappointments for a while now to join my life with someone who is going to disappoint me in bed and out of it. —although he hasn't done so so far— my subconscious scolds me.

—Christian. —I call out to him as he looks up from his plate and looks at me. —What are we doing?

—Dining. —he tells me as if it were the most obvious thing.

—No, I'm talking about what just happened in the room.

—You mean the massage that ended in two orgasms?

Oh, my God! He even counted them.

—I mean...—I pause for the right words. — What do you expect to happen between us?

—I thought I made that clear the other night at the restaurant Ana. I'm interested in you.

—I think this, whatever is going on between us, is going very fast. I don't want to get involved in any serious relationship right now, Christian. —I tell him quickly as he frowned.

—Sex without commitment then? —he asks, raising an eyebrow.

—Can we start as friends? —I ask as he smiles at me.

—Friends with benefits? —he asks, raising his eyebrows suggestively.

—I don't know, I'm not the kind of girl who goes around sleeping with anybody.—I tell him as I try to continue eating dinner.

—Why have you let me do everything I've done to you so far?

—I don't know. —I answer by staring at the steak on my plate.

I just lied to him. I know why I've let him do everything he've done to me so far. Because when he is near me I lose the ability to think. Because I feel that attraction he talks about every time we are in the same room.

—I think you do. —he tells me by making me look up.

—Perhaps the lack of sex has clouded my senses. —I tell him trying to get out of the mess I just got into.

This is part of the truth. And even though I don't want any relationship, I have to admit that what just happened a while ago was amazing. Christian has just changed my view of sex completely. And that's starting to scare me. A week ago, I didn't know that I could get excited just by looking at him. Or that I could have an orgasm with just a few touches in the right places. And that makes me think that I don't know my body at all.

—Do you think I'm like everyone else? —his question brings me back to reality.

Well, it has become clear to me that he is not. But it's too early to get involved with anyone else. I need time. Time to get to know myself before I get involved in a relationship again.

—I need time to think about what I really want. —I tell him by losing myself in his eyes.

—Very good. If that's what you want, fine. —he says as he continues to eat dinner.

I stare at him. That's it. He has taken it better than I imagined. I continue with my dinner now a little livelier because I have made clear the terms of our relationship.

—But I warn you something. —he says to me as I stare at him again. —I'm not going to stop seducing you every time I get the chance.

I didn't expect that.

In that instant his phone rings and he stares at the screen while frowning before answering.

—What happened? —he listens as he gets up and walks into the room. —No, I'll take care of it personally. —he pauses again as he looks in my direction. —Tell him I'll be there in about an hour. —and hangs up.

Walk back to where I am. He sits down again and continues to eat his dinner. But from the look on his face, I know something happened. But I decide to stay out of the way. I continue to eat dinner too.

—Ana, I need to go out for a moment, I know I promised to show you certain things today, but I have an urgency. —he tells me when he quickly finishes his dinner and gets up from the bar stool.

—Did something happen? —I ask, scared.

—It's nothing to worry about, it's just some business I have to take care of at the club. —he approaches where I am and steals a kiss from me and heads for his bedroom.

I start to pick up the dinner stuff while he goes to my room to take a bath. He takes a quick bath and I see him leave with the towel around his waist on his way to his room. I'm finishing up, when he comes out casually dressed in a pair of jeans and a white shirt. I see him looking sexy in whatever he's wearing.

—Don't wait up for me, I'll probably be back late. —he says to me as he leaves.

I don't understand why he said that. Why would I wait up for him? I need to talk to Kate. She can certainly advise me what to do. I look at the clock, it's 9:30 pm. I hope it's not too late for her. It takes her a few seconds to respond.

—Did you change your mind? —she says as I listen to loud music in the background.

—What are you talking about? —I ask without understanding what she means.

—Did you forget? Today is Elliot's birthday and we've arranged to meet some friends to celebrate, we're waiting for you to join us. I left several messages reminding you. —Shit! I completely forgot.

I haven't even checked my phone.

—Where are you? —I ask her as I start to walk around the room.

—We're in the same club as the other night. It was Elliot's idea, not mine. —she tells me, knowing what I'm going to say. —Are you coming?

—I don't know, Kate. We need to talk, things have happened.

—Come over here and we'll talk about it with a cosmo. —she says over the loud music.

—I can't say for sure, but...

—Call me when you get to the entrance.

—Kate! —I yell at her, but she's already hung up.

I stare at the screen. What else can I do? I check the notifications. Indeed. I have several missed calls from her and several messages.

I look at the apartment in all directions. I walk to the terrace in an attempt to clear my mind. But my mind is filled with everything that has happened in the last few hours. I need a drink and a motivational talk from Kate. And not just in that order. Christian told me not to wait up for him, that he was coming back late. And I have no idea what business he had to take care of at the club. I don't even know exactly what he does there. He already told me that he's not a security guard. But he also told me that when I went to another club that I need to go with people I knew. So without further thought I head to the bedroom to get ready.

An hour later I'm outside the club. I sent Kate a text message and I wait. A few minutes later I see her come out and signal to me.

—You came! —she shouts at me as she comes to my side.

—What other choice did I have? —I shrug my shoulders.

—Let's go! —she says, pulling my arm. —Tell me what happened.

—I'm going to need a drink or two first. —I say with a smile.

Kate leads me inside the club to the VIP where she and the group that has come to celebrate Elliot's birthday are. We greet each other and I sit down while Kate orders another round of drinks. The girls go down to the dance floor to dance. When the drink arrives I take mine in one gulp while Kate stares at me.

—For God's sake what happened! —Kate says, worried.

—I just did something stupid. —I yell at her over the music.

—Don't tell me. Who did you sleep with?

—How did you... forget it, I don't want to know.

—Come on, let it go.

—Exactly we didn't sleep together. —I tell her while she looks at me with an eyebrow. —With Christian. —I tell her by letting out an exhalation.

—Christian! Christian! The roommate.

—Do you know another Christian, Kate? —I ask her as I grimace.

—And what about him? —she says, raising his eyebrows suggestively.

I don't know if she's referring to his physique or what happened between the two of us. So I decide to talk about the issue that concerns me most.

—I've realized that I don't know myself well enough.

—I got lost.

—That I don't know my body as well as I thought I did Kate, and I need to do that before I start something with someone else again.

—Ah. I guess he wants to start something with you and you told him you weren't ready.

—Exactly.

—You have a serious trust issue. And you know what you need? —I don't know why I'm afraid of his answer. —You need to do things you've never done before, Ana.

—I'm not going to do what you're thinking, Kate. I'm not going to have sex with a stranger. —I already let one provide me with two orgasms.

And I don't know why I feel, that with someone else, I won't feel half the pleasure that Christian has given me today.

—Look on the bright side, it will help you get to know yourself better, and you won't have to see him again the next morning.

I take another drink and drink it.

—Not even another one of these will convince me. —I tell her as she smiles at me.

Half an hour later I'm more uninhibited than I've ever been and I know it's the result of the tequila shots and the cosmos I've had. Kate pulls me towards the track. I can feel the eyes of the men resting on me as we dance. I am wearing a short, black dress with a neckline in the back, as Kate would say, indecent. I found it among the clothes she left me because they didn't fit her.

We are dancing with the rest of the girls, moving my body to the rhythm of the strident music, when Kate approaches me to talk to me.

—There's a good-looking guy who won't stop looking at you. —she says to me as I stare at her.

—Where?

—Right behind you, at the end of the dance floor.

I turn around without bothering to get his attention. He is there, at one end, hidden by the shadows. It is impossible to know that he is looking at me.

—He could be looking at anyone, Kate. —I say turning to her again.

—I doubt it, because he's coming this way right now. —she says to me as I stand there dancing without turning around.

—I've been watching you for a while now. Shall we dance? —he whispers in my ear.

I see Kate smiling at me and pulling away from me. I'm going to kill her. Don't she remember what happened last time? I turn and look at him. She's right, it's attractive. But as I stare at him, I know this is a bad idea. I don't think the best way to know myself is to have sex with a stranger I just met in a nightclub.

—I'm sorry, but no.

—Just one dance, I promise not to overdo it. —he says with a smile.

His smile is sincere and for a moment I smile back at him and the ideas I had go out of my mind. I surrender to his smile and start dancing with him to the catchy rhythm of the music. There comes a moment when he places his hands on my waist and I let go as I move my body against him. I have never, I repeat, never done this. Only the other night, and I must say in my defense that I was half stoned. Today, I am tipsy. His fingers move and brush the bare skin of my back and only then does a warning sound in my brain, I don't know why, and it wakes up from its numbness from the alcohol.