Today I'm wearing a sleeveless emerald green dress, tight at the waist and looser for the bottom. He pulls my left leg up to the seat.
—Christian!
—No one will see us Ana, the windows are tinted. —he says to me as he touches my knee and I gasp.
—You said you were going to show me what you had in the bag. —I tell him, gasping and wishing that he would move his hand up.
—Open your legs. —he asks me while I obey without protest.
Christian raises his hand slowly up my thigh until it reaches the junction between my legs. At this point my breathing is already erratic. He slips a finger over my panties and I groan.
—Is it normal for you to be so wet with hardly any touching from me? —he asks as I bite my lower lip.
—No.—it's the truth. It is not normal. —It is your presence, your caresses and your look that makes my body react this way.
He slide his finger slowly over my panties again while he keep watching me. Then pull them aside and slowly slide his finger over my entrance. I close my eyes and groan audibly as I let myself be carried away by his slow caress as he put a finger inside me and moves it slightly in a circle.
—Christian! —I can't believe I'm doing this in the back of Elena's car.
He takes his finger out and continues to slide it down my entrance. Then I feel something cold penetrating me and I open my eyes suddenly.
—Christian! —I watch him pull away from me and adjust my dress after lowering my leg.
—You can go back to work now. —he says as he steps away from me.
—What have you put inside me?
—Something to continue your lesson today.
—My lesson?
—Yes. Lesson number two to be exact. Learning to contain an orgasm. —he says with a smile on his face.
—What was lesson number one? —I don't remember him teaching me that one.
—You mastered it quickly. —he says, staring at me.
I raise an eyebrow waiting for him to tell me which one it was because I don't remember.
—Your first lesson was to reach orgasm without being touched. —he says with a smile.
I remember now. What happened at the club. I put aside the faint memories that start to suddenly appear and focus on something more important. I have no idea what he has put inside me, he hasn't even shown me. I look at him frowning.
—You won't tell me, will you?
—No.
—Then I'd better get back before someone notices my absence.
I unlock the door.
—Remember not to come, Ana. —he says to me in a very low tone while I hold back one more moan.
I don't think that will be too difficult after last night.
I get out of the car.
God!
As I get out of my seat and get out of the car, I can feel something moving inside me. I turn my face toward the car window. I can't see him, but I imagine it must be watching me and smiling, knowing what he just did to me, and even more so what he put inside me. I take a deep breath and start walking back to the office.
Every step I take is torture and I have to make a superhuman effort to get to my workplace. As soon as I sit down, the movement inside me stops. But I know that my torture has only started when Kate shows up at my door to go to lunch
—Ready for lunch?
—Ready. —I tell her as I stand up.
I suddenly hold onto the table. I had almost forgotten the mysterious toy I have inside of me.
Almost.
If walking from the car to the office was torture, walking to where we usually eat lunch is even more so. This is going to be too much for me. I have to walk two blocks and every step I take; I am closer to reaching orgasm than before.
When we are seated and have ordered our lunch Kate begins her interrogation.
—What happens to you? —she asks as I try to slow down my accelerated breathing.
—What do you mean?
—What do I mean, Ana? Since we left the office you've been blushing. Are you feeling all right?
Do I feel good?
Of course I don't.
I've never been so excited in my life. Not even last night. But I can't tell her that I have an erotic toy inside me that makes me gasp with pleasure. Oh, and that I can't come because there will be consequences. I have no idea what the consequences would be if I do, but I don't want to find out.
—It must be the pressure of work. —I say touching my cheeks with both hands.
They feel warm. Fucking Christian and his toys.
—Elena has let me take care of Men Fitness. I'm sure working so hard has made me dizzy. —Yes, I'm sure that's it, and nothing else.
—Wow! She really leave you in charge of everything. —I think the tactic worked.
—Yes, the interviews, the photo shoot, everything. —I tell her with a smile.
—That shows the confidence she has in you. —she says to me as she begins to eat lunch.
I do the same thing. I'm hungry. And I don't know if this sudden hunger I feel is due to the superhuman effort I am making here to do what he has told me. Not coming.
—So what's going on with you and Christian? —she asks me suddenly.
I close my eyes. This is what I needed least at this time. I shuffle uncomfortably in my seat. Bad idea. Any slight movement makes whatever is inside me move. And the movement feels deliciously torturing. I seem to remember the description of this feeling in some novel I read. Did I get some Chinese balls? I won't know until he take them off. Will he expect me to wear them all day?
—Ana! —Kate takes me out of my thoughts. —I've been calling you for a while and you're lost in your thought. What are you thinking about so much? Don't answer that. Tell me where you went last night.
—What!
—Yes, because at one point I saw you dancing with a very nice guy who was wearing a white shirt, and then you disappeared. And today you tell me that you left with Christian. I don't understand anything. —Wow, she didn't miss a detail.
—The very nice guy in the white shirt... —I tell her while she looks at me with her eyes wide open. —That was Christian.
—What! It can't be! But the change has been radical. My God! And I was living with a guy that good?
I'm laughing as I continue with my lunch. Shit! I'm not supposed to laugh.
—But you're not telling me everything, are you? —I stare at her as I hold my fork halfway up my mouth.
—What do you want to know Kate.
—Last night you told me you almost slept with Christian and then you left the club with him. —She looks at me by raising a eyebrow. —Tell me you're done with the quarantine. —his comment makes me laugh.
—We can't sleep together Kate, we work together.
—Aha. —she says, grimacing. —I won't tell anyone. I just want to know what sex is like after a year.
—Humm. —I continue to eat as I look at her thoughtfully. —Amazing.
—I can't believe you! —she says, tapping me on the shoulder.
And the movement makes all the muscles underneath my belly tense and a groan escapes me. I stare at Kate, fortunately she doesn't notice this while she looks at me in awe of what I've just told her. I can't tell her anything else.
According to Christian, tomorrow he finishes working for Elena. So after that, we won't have to hide anymore. It's not like we have a normal relationship, though. Am I even thinking about it after just one night with him? I don't believe it myself.
—So will you give me all the juicy details of that first time? —she says, while not taking his curious eyes of mine.
—Nothing out of the ordinary Kate. —I say to her as I continue to eat my food nos more slower.
—Do you think I'm stupid? You told me how Christian looks and last night I got a glimpse of the guy you were dancing with. So tell me, what kind of sex did you have last night? Hard or slow.
—Does it have anything to do with it? —I ask her without looking into her eyes.
—Of course. That says a lot.
Pervert. It's the only word that comes to my mind to describe Christian and the sex with him. And for a moment I wonder if Kate would be shocked if I told her exactly what we did last night, how he took me in the bathroom. I look up from my plate of food and look at her. She has a gleam of curiosity in her eyes.
—Have you ever been tied up? —I ask her without hesitation and can see her mouth open wide.
—No. Why do you ask? Don't tell me that...
—Yes. — I say in a whisper as I lose myself briefly in the memories of the shower.
—Wait, wait! Let me get this straight. You move in with my old roommate, who happens to be strong and hot as hell. After a year without sex, your return to sexual activity has been tied to the bed?
Two years actually, but I decide it's too late to admit the truth.
—Not exactly, but yes. —I better not go into detail if she has come to the conclusion of bed alone.
—And I imagine he's taken you in wildly.
You have no idea. Even though he had told me he would do it slowly. I remain silent and she assumes the most obvious answer.
—For God's sake Ana! How did you feel?
—Excited to no end. Overwhelmed by the sensations that were new to me.
—And how do you feel today?
Well Kate. Christian turns out to be more perverted than you could ever imagine and before coming to lunch he has put a toy inside me that makes every move painful for me. Every movement makes my whole belly contract deliciously and every moment makes me even more excited. But he has forbidden me to come or there will be consequences. Which I ignore.
—With a renewing energy. —I answer with a smile.
—Yes, sex tends to have that effect. —she says to me as we both laugh out loud.
I stop laughing immediately. This has only made whatever is inside me move and increase the pressure in my belly.
—So is it just sex or is there something else?
—Just sex. —I answer quickly.
It's just sex, because I haven't wanted to have anything else with him. Besides the strange terms of our current relationship. And I decide to ignore Kate's other questions and comments as I finish lunch.
I make the same superhuman effort as we return to the office and there I am finalizing tomorrow's details all afternoon. But I also get distracted in my thoughts.
After lunch and the conversation with Kate, I can't stop thinking about the last thing I said to her about my relationship with Christian.
Just sex?
I know I'm kidding myself. I know there is something else. First, there is the undeniable attraction we feel for each other. I don't think casual sex with a stranger feels this way. Yes, because that's what he is to me, I hardly know much about his life.
If it were just sex I wouldn't feel the butterflies in my stomach every time I saw him. He wouldn't make my breathing speed up just by looking at me and he won't bring me almost to the brink of orgasm just by touching my skin. Or just by looking at me.
Last night was the first time I had real sex, without having to pretend, without having to do everything myself. Without feeling unsatisfied. For the first time I felt free to enjoy sex without having to be in control. And the truth is that I would never want it to end. And that only makes me start to feel afraid all of a sudden. Even though I know that Christian wants something with me, how do I know that he won't get tired of me? Or that he won't cheat on me at the club he owns? That he's not the same as the rest of the idiots I've dated?
After so much time out of a relationship, I feel insecure. I don't know how to start one again. I'm full of fears and insecurities that I didn't have until this morning.
But there is one thing I do know for sure. And that is that I don't intend to start a relationship. Not only because I don't know myself, I've already discovered a few things about myself that I didn't know and I know that Christian will be able to show them to me along the way.
So I'm going to put a new condition on our strange arrangement.
As he himself has asked me to be totally honest, he will have to do the same with me. I need answers. Answers to all the questions that are beginning to haunt my mind. And I need to know more about him. Only then will I know for sure if I can take even more risks in whatever we are doing. Yes, because I know that little by little Christian will end up devouring my body and soul completely.