I don't usually write author's notes in the beginning but… this chapter is really weird. Just a little dark, but not much (or I just have a questionable view of what is and isn't dark). Just be prepared for my late night emo writing. Good luck. Hope it isn't awful. Please no one be mad at me lol.
"Well, I think that's everything of importance," Dumbledore said as he finished his welcome speech. "Let the feast begin!"
Despite Leslie's multiple attempts to start a conversation as they ate, Samantha couldn't be less interested. She kept letting it die out quickly, and Leslie eventually gave in to Samantha's unspoken wish for silence, instead talking to Katie Bell.
Samantha took this opportunity to plan out her next move. Would it be stupid for her to go up to Professor Lupin that night, when the details were still fuzzy in her mind? Probably. If only she could get back to the Pensieve… but then, what was stopping her? She had an Invisibility Cloak and a Time Turner, as long as it was still inside Snape's office, she could go and revisit the memory.
The feast soon drew to a close, and Dumbledore excused all of the students to the dormitories for the night. Samantha joined the crowd of students leaving the Great Hall, hoping to run into Max. Maybe he had looked away because he felt bad for not saving her a seat, she told herself, but she knew that was not the reason.
"Hey," she called to him when she saw him in the crowd of students. He didn't glance back. "Max. Max!" she said more stubbornly, stomping towards him, not caring which students she pushed out of the way. "Max." She was walking right behind him now, so he had to hear her. But he still didn't reply, or even look back at her. "Max, what the hell is going on," Samantha asked, putting her hand on his shoulder and forcing him to turn around and face her.
"Don't," Max said, giving her a dark look as he pushed her hand off of his shoulder and turned back around.
Samantha glared after him, but let him walk, deciding it would be better if they talked in the safety of the common room anyway. She saw him a few feet away, and knew he wasn't going to willingly stop to talk to her, so she did the next best thing she could think of. "Locomotor Mortis," she whispered, pointing her wand at him. She watched as his legs stuck together and he stumbled to the ground amid the flow of people walking to their dormitories. He pushed himself up a bit with his arms, looking around from a plank position.
"Need some help?" Samantha asked, walking to him, and tilting her head as she looked down to him.
Max's nostrils flared. "What the hell, Samantha," he said, quiet but mean.
"I could ask you the same thing. I did ask you the same thing," Samantha replied, crossing her arms across her chest.
"Undo it," Max commanded, now having flipped himself over to a sitting position.
"Not until we have a talk," Samantha said, sitting down on the floor next to him. "And don't you have your own wand?"
"I left it with my stuff," Max muttered, looking down. "And, what, we're going to have this talk on the floor of the common room?"
"You won't listen to me otherwise," Samantha pointed out.
Max rolled his eyes. "What do you want to talk about so badly?" he asked, sounding fed up.
"The fact that you've ignored me this whole day. We haven't talked since London, I want to know what's going on," Samantha told him.
"Nothing is going on. Now, can you unfreeze my legs?"
"No," Samantha said. "Tell me what is going on."
"You really want to know what's going on?" Max asked, anger flashing through his eyes.
"Yes, I think I've made that pretty clear," Samantha responded.
"Fine. What's going on, is the fact that you are a manipulative, evil, arrogant, psycho bitch who doesn't think about the consequences of her actions or the feelings of others. There. You happy?" Max spat.
Samantha bit her tongue and raised her eyebrows. "Is that really what you think of me?" she asked.
"Yes," Max said. For a split second, it looked like he was unsure, that he felt sorry for his words, but that vanished before Samantha could tell if it was really there, or her mind was just allowing her to see what she wanted to see.
"Okay then," Samantha said, standing up. "I don't see why you wasted years of your life hanging around someone you clearly hate so much, but I guess I'll leave you alone, since you obviously can't stand to be around me." She walked to the stairs.
"Hey! What about my legs?" Max called after her.
"Figure it out!" Samantha called back, feeling livid. She stormed up the stairs, seething as she walked into her dormitory.
"Hey, Sam- are you angry?" Leslie asked, watching Samantha as she slammed the curtain around her bed shut. Sighing, Leslie stood up and walked over, opening the curtain to find Samantha on the bed, her hands in fists. "What happened?"
"Max is being an arse," Samantha answered, her jaw tightened. "Just go away," she told Leslie.
"Alright. Night, Sam," Leslie said, rolling her eyes at her best friend and shutting the curtain on her way back to her own bed.
Needing something to do with her hands, something to destroy, Samantha's hand closed around the metal of the necklace Max had gotten her in their first year of Hogwarts for Christmas. Without thinking more about it, she yanked her hand down, the chain cutting into her neck for a moment before breaking and becoming a long strand of silver in her hand. She looked at the topaz charm in her palm, and then closed her fist around it, feeling it press into her skin.
She held it there for a while, letting the sharp edges slice into her palm. When she finally loosened her grip on it and glanced down to see what damage she had inflicted, she saw that it was stained with deep red blood that was also spattered across the inside of her hand. Setting the necklace aside, she brought her opposite finger to her palm, feeling the wet blood on her fingertip. She traced the small cut in her palm, wondering how the blood had spread so quickly. Maybe it was deeper than she thought.
Standing up from the bed, Samantha walked to the bathroom. She ran her hand under the cold water, letting the blood wash away. She stared at herself in the mirror, searching for something else to do, some other way to wreck herself. She was angry and needed an outlet.
On an impulsive decision, she pulled out her wand. Pointing her wand at the bar of soap on the counter, she whispered an incantation to turn it into a pair of scissors. She could do this the Muggle way.
Separating her hair into two sections, she brought the scissors up and began using them to slice through her hair, feeling the weight of it diminish as uneven chunks fell to the floor. Once she had gotten it to a reasonably even cut on the left side, she switched to working on the right side, repeating the same process. Then, taking out her wand, she pointed it towards the mirror. She had read up on human transfiguration, and although she had never attempted anything close to this spell, she thought right now could be a good time to try it.
"Crinus Muto," she said, staring herself in the eye and picturing the exact length she wanted her hair to be. She watched as the ends of her hair evened out, which was all she wanted it to do. She didn't know why the spell had worked so well on her first try, but maybe it was the anger coursing through her veins.
She again stared into the mirror. Her hair, which has been flowing down to her waist, now ended at her shoulders in one straight, blunt cut. It felt so light and freeing. Just for good measure, she pulled some front pieces of hair into her face, smoothing them out before taking the scissors and cutting them shorter, letting the bangs fall against her forehead. Looking again in the mirror, she had to admit she looked fairly nice for someone with no experience cutting hair.
What else could she do, she asked herself. In what other way could she change herself? She took out the earrings she was wearing, the small silver rings Max had given her along with the necklace. She undid the band to her watch, which had been another Christmas gift from him, setting it next to the earrings.
Now she had rid herself of any physical traces of him, but that didn't mean he was gone. He would linger in her memory for a long time, she knew. She rarely forgot anything.
Glancing at the ground, where a pile of her dark brown hair laid, she couldn't help but laugh. She didn't know why. Then she left the bathroom, her discarded jewelry remaining next to the sink as she walked back to her bed and fell asleep.
"Merlin, Samantha, what happened to your hair?" Leslie exclaimed upon seeing Samantha for the first time the next morning when she walked down to the Great Hall after everyone else.
She could feel the eyes of many students on her, and something made her love it. "I cut it," she answered casually, shrugging.
"When? Why? How?" Leslie asked, clearly not having expected Samantha to have cut her hair, along with getting bangs.
"Last night, after everyone was asleep, using a pair of scissors and a bit of help from a spell because I felt like it," answered Samantha, crossing her arms.
"What were you thinking?" Leslie asked, her eyebrows furrowed but her eyes wide.
"That I should cut my hair," Samantha replied. She took a seat at the table, pulling the plate of toast closer to her and taking a slice, along with jam to spread on it.
The eyes that had been watching her earlier had faded away, their interest diminishing quickly. Samantha was popular, but a haircut was not drama. At least, not yet. Samantha had no clue what the future might hold.
"Can I sit here?"
Lauren's voice made Samantha turn to her right, where her sister was asking about an empty spot.
"Why couldn't you?" Samantha responded, flicking her hand towards the spot.
Shrugging, Lauren used her fingers to comb her hair out of her face, letting the dark red strands fall messily on top of the rest of her hair. "I like your hair," she said. "It fits you well."
"Thank you," Samantha replied.
Lauren was quiet for a moment. "What are you angry about?" she asked.
Samantha jumped, pushing Lauren's hand off of her. "Merlin, you have to stop doing that, Lauren!" she said, brushing off the spot as if that would do anything. "I'm not angry."
"Sam, anyone could see that you're mad about something. No sane person cuts bangs in the middle of the night," Lauren said. "Talk to me."
Shaking her head, Samantha reached for her goblet of water. "I don't need to talk to you. I'm doing just fine. I need to go find my schedule." She stood up, walking to McGonagall, who was handing out that year's schedules.
Glancing at it, she quickly realized there were no free periods. She was going to be tired this year, that was for sure. She spotted an empty seat next to where Harry, Ron, and Hermione were sitting and walked over.
"Oh, Samantha," Hermione said, smiling. "I like your hair. How did you do it?"
"Scissors and a spell to even it out," Samantha answered.
"Isn't that seriously advanced magic?" Hermione asked, her eyes wide. "Something could have gone terribly wrong!"
"Well, it didn't," said Samantha, shrugging.
"Did you cut it?" Ron asked, appearing perplexed as he looked at Samantha.
"Yes, Ronald," Samantha said, smirking a bit. Boys could be so oblivious at times. "Harry? You alright there?" she asked her little brother.
"I just can't believe you cut your hair," Harry answered, looking at Samantha's short brown locks. "It's so short now."
"I know," Samantha responded casually. "So, what classes have you got today?"
"I've got Divination, and Arithmancy, and Muggle Studies, and-" Hermione began, but was cut off by Ron.
"What she failed to mention is the fact that those three subjects are all overlapping," said Ron.
"And?" Samantha asked.
"She can't possibly be in three classes at once! It's not possible!" Ron said, astounded that Samantha didn't seem to be concerned about this bit of information.
"Don't be silly, Ronald, I'm not going to be in three classes at once," said Hermione. "Samantha, have you got Defense Against the Dark Arts today?"
"I have. Have you three?" Samantha said. When they nodded, Samantha continued. "Lupin seems like he'll be more competent than the last three I've had. It's a wonder I know any defensive spells at all."
"I hope whatever he did to protect against that dementor wasn't a fluke. He seems as if he knows what he's doing," Hermione commented.
"Yeah he does…" Samantha said. She hadn't had the power or control over herself to look at the Pensieve the previous night, but as she thought more about it, small details floated back into the sea of her mind.
They had called Lupin 'Mooney'. They had been taking their exams, had just finished one on Defense Against the Dark Arts. They had talked about werewolves, and the full moon, and Lupin had confessed to being one. That fascinated Samantha. She had never thought about werewolves, even after seeing that memory. She hadn't realized they could be so normal, and wondered what would happen once the full moon came.
The first time Samantha saw Max that morning was in Charms, their first class of the day. She wasn't sure how they had managed to avoid each other in the Great Hall, but she could tell from his baffled expression that this was the first time he had seen her new hair.
It felt strange to walk into that class and not immediately try to secure a spot for Max next to her, or to not see him waiting with an empty seat next to him he had saved especially for her. It was foreign to Samantha that she no longer knew that her spot was the one between him and Leslie. Instead, she sat across the room from him, Leslie still at her side. At least that hadn't changed.
After the Charms class, which had gone through without a hitch, it was time for the class Samantha had been most looking forward toーDefense Against the Dark Arts. She wanted to get to know Lupin better, scope him out a bit before she made any moves to ask him about her father or Sirius.
When the class arrived at the classroom, Professor Lupin was there to greet them. He still appeared shabby in comparison to the rest of the teachers and the school in general, but he seemed happy.
"Hello!" he said cheerfully. "It's wonderful to see you all. I believe I met some of you on the journey here yesterday, no?" His eyes met Samantha's as he said this, and she quickly smiled at him, thinking he was going to make some passing comment about her hair. Thankfully, he just smiled briefly back before returning to addressing the class. "I thought today we'd start off with a fun little activity, but it's not in this classroomーset down your stuff at a table, keep your wands on you, and then I'll take you."
"What do you think he's got planned?" Leslie whispered as the girls dispensed their stuff on a random table in the middle of the room.
"We'll have to wait and see," said Samantha.
They walked back out into the hallway, and then Lupin led them on a quick walk to what ended up being the staffroom. They filtered inside the empty room, still having no idea what Professor Lupin had planned for them.
"Today's lesson will be on a little creature called a Boggart," Lupin said once the class was all inside and paying attention. "Who here has heard of them? Raise your hands."
Samantha raised her hand, along with Max, Damon, Gwendolyn, and Lachlan Wallace, a Gryffindor boy in her year that Samantha had only talked to a brief amount of times, who Max liked to complain about, along with Cormac McLaggen. Both boys were obnoxious, and Samantha tended to avoid them as best she could.
"My father told me all about them," Lachlan said. "They hide away in the shadows, and when a wizard gets too close, they turn into the scariest thing to frighten them away." His eyes had a glimmer that made him seem as if he was telling a ghost story.
"That's not true," Samantha said.
"Please stop speaking out of turn," Lupin said calmly. He waited a moment before he said, "Samantha, go ahead."
"Boggarts like to hide away in small, dark places. Whenever a human sees them, they turn into whatever that person's biggest fear is. It could be something concrete and simple, such as spiders, or something more complex, such as… losing your loved ones," Samantha explained. "I read this in a book on magical creatures," she added quietly.
"Good!" said Lupin. "Samantha, that is exactly right. Five points to Gryffindor. Now, Boggarts can be frightening, but the spell to banish them is simple. Filch was recently cleaning the school and found one, and I asked him to leave it so I could have a fun little start of the year class. So, let's start with a quick demonstration! How about… you, with the sandy blonde hair. Sorry, what was your name again?"
"Connor," Connor replied after his grey eyes darted around the room to be sure the new professor was not talking about anyone else.
"Come on up, I want you to help me with the demonstration," said Remus. Connor remained dumbfounded in the same spot.
"It's alright, I won't bite you." There was a sad sort of smile on Lupin's face as he said this, and Samantha bit her lip. She remembered reading about werewolves the year before, in a book about creatures of the dark arts, and knew their transformations were not comfortable, and they had no control over what they did in their werewolf form. For some unknown reason, now looking at Lupin, this fact made her want to cry.
"Go up, Connor," Elias urged, pushing Connor forward and offering a smile of encouragement.
Finally Connor had made it to the front of the class, and was now looking like a deer in headlights.
"Alright. Vanishing a boggart is simple. Connor, what is your biggest fear?" Lupin asked.
"Maybe… er… bats?" Connor said unsurely.
"Perfectly reasonable. They are quite creepy at night," Lupin agreed with a comforting smile. "Now, what do you think could make a bat funny? Think of a change you could make to it, whether it be physical appearance, or putting clothes on it, or a sound it makes… be as creative as you'd like."
Connor was quiet for a tiny bit, trying to figure out how he would like to change the bat to make it less scary. "It could be wearing a sweater," he suggested.
"Perfect! As I said, the process of vanishing a boggart is simple. When I open this cabinet, a bat will fly out. You, Connor, will raise your wand, point it at the boggart, and, picturing it wearing a sweater, say this one simple incantationーRiddikulus."
"Riddikulus," Connor repeated quietly.
"Good! Everyone, now, go on and practice."
"Riddikulus," the class said in unison.
"Alright, I think it's safe to say we are ready to face this boggart! Connor, you'll go first, show the class how it's done, and then we'll go through and everyone will have a chance at the boggart," Lupin said. "Ready, Connor? I'm about to open the cabinet."
Connor nodded, standing with his wand at the ready. There was a click as the cabinet was opened, and then out flew a large bat. Connor looked scared for a moment before he took in a shaky breath, pointed his wand at it, and quietly uttered in incantation taught to them. Suddenly, there was a very confused looking bat wearing a teal and pink polka dot sweater and a tiny pair of sunglasses.
"I can't tell if he's ready for the beach or a winter holiday," Samantha whispered to Leslie, and the two girls chucked.
"Perfect! Connor, that was flawless. Now, everyone, line up, and we'll get started."
Samantha's spot ended up being at the back of the line, right behind Lachlan, to her disgust.
"Something happen between you and lover boy?" Lachlan asked in a whisper, turning around in line to talk to Samantha. "Haven't seen you two talk all morning. Usually you won't shut up."
"You should shut up," Samantha told him, also whispering and glaring into his icy blue eyes.
"Trouble in paradise, hm?" Lachlan smirked. "You could be with someone much better than that one. You're not at all lacking in good looks. Besides, I hear his family are You-Know-Who supporters."
"His parents are aurors, and both Gryffindors. There's not an ounce of blood in his family that would support Voldemort," Samantha stated.
"Is that what he told you? Because my father went to Hogwarts with Max's mum, and said she was in Slytherin," Lachlan said. They were both still whispering, not paying attention to what their fellow classmates were doing with their boggarts.
"I think we've all learned from today that your father is not the most reliable source of information," said Samantha, folding her arms.
Lachlan's face turned pink, but he squared his jaw as well. "He'd know if she was the girl always sneaking into the Gryffindor dorms he shared with Max's dad. Said she was always there, creeping around in her green and silver scarf and Slytherin robes."
Samantha shook her head, but could feel the dark grey cloud of doubt settling over her as she denied it. "You're lying," she told him.
Before Lachlan got a chance to respond, it seemed Lupin had finally taken notice of the fact that they were having a conversation instead of paying attention to the class. "Lachlan, if you could please save your conversation with Samantha for later and face this way, that would be splendid." Lachlan shot Samantha one last dirty look before turning back to look at the front of the class.
Samantha looked up just in time to catch a glimpse of Max's boggart. It was dressed up in a brightly coloured dragon costume, so he had clearly already performed the Riddikulus spell on it, but she was just able to get a look at the face of the person, and her breath hitched in her throat when she saw who it was.
Hopefully this isn't too much of a mess. This is my trying to make up for the fact that I didn't do great planning when I first started writing this about a year ago, sorry about that. And I'm sorry it took so long. I've been stuck with this book lately, but I'm going to try to work on it more. Updates might still be slow, however. Thank you to everyone that reads this, it means a lot to me :)