"Earth to Kari?"
"Hmm?" I turned my attention back to the voice that had just spoken. The face of Peggy Carter hovering in my eye line snapped my attention back to the conversation. "Shit, sorry."
It was Tuesday morning. I had the next few days off after such a big week and weekend being at Langley. I'd planned on sleeping through most of it and going to the gym but two phone calls forced me out of bed, and the house. The first was from Evans asking if I watch Alexi for a few hours. William had doctors appointments to go to and it was a lot easier without Alexi. She hadn't taken a liking to her new brother at all since he'd come home last week. It'd resulted in a lot of tantrums, screaming and lack of sleeping from Alexi. Evans and Abby both looked more exhausted than normal. Clint and Jared were planning on assembling Lila's new bedroom furniture from Ikea. So I dropped him off with a solemn good luck. I doubted there'd be much assembling going on today though. More like Disney movies and cupcake baking. I promised I'd bring Alexi over later to play with Lila.
The second was Peggy Carter inviting me over for morning tea. She'd heard about the demonstration I'd done and wanted to see it. I'd gotten the video that was put together for it, so I packed up Alexi and I and headed over to the nursing home. She'd slept half the way, then talked my ear off for the rest of the trip. She was very excited to be doing something with me. She even took to Peggy with ease.
"Something on your mind?" Peggy asked kindly, handing my laptop back to me. I must have zoned out completely while Peggy was watching the footage. Alexi was wandering around the garden, ripping out flowers and bringing them back to us. Right now she was eyeing off the perfectly maintained tulips. I was waiting for her to climb over the small garden wall and start pulling them out too.
"Yes, I mean no," I huffed out a small sigh. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to zone out."
"How about you tell me whats on your mind then?" Peggy smiled at me. "You look like you're a million miles away."
It was more like I was back in Saturday night. I couldn't stop replaying over and over in my head what had happened. The more I thought about it, the more I was kicking myself over what happened.
I'd turned Gareth down. I was all ready to say yes and at the last second, I chickened out completely. He'd been such a good sport about it too. He went inside, got my bottle of scotch and walked me back to my room. A kiss on the cheek and a quick goodbye, then he was gone. I'd found his number written on a card attached to my bottle of scotch in the morning. All it said was, 'My number, if you're ever down this way.'
I had a message sitting on my phone to reply to him, waiting to be sent. But I was too chicken to even do that. I was so frustrated with myself. I'd been all psyched up ready to get back into at least having a sex life. But I couldn't do it. When it all came down to it, I still wasn't ready to make that next step with moving on with my life.
"Its nothing really," I cleared my throat, feeling a little uncomfortable. I'm sure Peggy Carter really didn't want to hear about my sex life. Or lack of. "Sorry."
"If you say sorry again, I may just smack you," Peggy scoffed, arching an eyebrow at me. She looked so intimating when she did that. "Come on, spit it out. There isn't anything you can say that will shock me. Let me guess, boy problem?"
"Kind of," I said timidly. Suddenly everything started to tumble out of my mouth. There was no stopping my onslaught of verbal diarrhoea. "I was flirting with one of the other pilots on the weekend and when it came down to it, I turned him down for sex. Now I'm really regretting it but I'm being too chicken shit to rectify the problem. Then there's this doctor I've been talking to and I thought we were just friends and he wasn't interested and I got all these drunken texts on Saturday night which made me think otherwise and I have no idea what to do."
I had to stop and catch my breath, my cheeks starting to burn in embarrassment. Wow, that had all come out in a big rush. Greg was my next problem. His reply to seeing me in the red dress was a few hours after I'd sent the picture, saying he'd like to peel me out of that dress. After that it'd been a progressively drunker texts saying how pretty he thought I was, even without the dress. That line of texts led to a lot of texts pondering how good I looked in lingerie and so forth. In the morning he'd apologised about a thousand times for his drunken ramblings. I even went as far to ring him and tell him it was fine. If anything, it'd been rather flattering.
But now I had no idea where I stood in Greg's eyes. Tonight had the potential to get very awkward after those texts. But since then, our conversations had gone back to the normal stuff we talked about. I just had no fucking idea how to sort out this mess in my head.
"Ah," Peggy nodded in understanding. She was silent for half a minute, rearranging the flowers Alexi had been bringing her while she thought of an answer. "Why didn't you sleep with the pilot?"
I'd expected Peggy to brush it off and tell me some bullshit platitude that it was fine, I'd be ready in my own time. What I was feeling was perfectly natural and all that other shit.
"Because I got scared," I shrugged, feeling a little helpless. "Scared that it wouldn't be any good, or he wouldn't like me without clothes on."
I opened and closed my mouth a few times trying to get the rest of the words out. But they wouldn't come. I was scared that Riley would disapprove. If he was looking down on me somewhere, he'd be angry that I moved on so quickly. It felt like a lifetime, but it had been 5 months now.
"And that Riley would disapprove?" Peggy didn't need me to say those words, the haunted look of understanding on her face was enough. I could only nod, a lump suddenly in my throat. Peggy looked at me with a kind smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. "Kari, I felt exactly the same way after Steve died. That no matter what I did, or who I was with, he'd disapprove."
Peggy reached over and took my hand, giving it a firm squeeze. The smile fell off at her as she looked at me intensely.
"But our boys aren't here anymore. Nothing we say or do is going to bring them back. I'm pretty sure if Riley was up there disapproving, which he wouldn't be by all accounts I've heard of him, that Steve would be smacking him over the head for his stupidity. I know Bucky would have been doing the same to Steve when it was me moving on with my life."
I laughed at the mental image of Riley getting smacked over the head by Captain America himself. He'd probably swoon in his presence before Captain Rogers could hit him. It made me feel better nearly instantly. My laugh made Peggy smile, this time it was more genuine.
"You are allowed to move on with your life." Peggy gave my hand another squeeze. "You are allowed to be happy. But only you know whats going to make you happy and what you'll regret later on. Do you think you would have regretted sleeping with the pilot?"
"No," I sighed, wrinkling my nose as I tried to think of how to put my jumbled thoughts into words. "Well, maybe if it was really awful I might have."
That made Peggy laugh. It also gave me the courage to keep going with putting everything together.
"I wish there was some big signal that flashes when it's finally the right time to do something," I fought back another sigh. "I'm so frustrated with myself. I feel fine, then I don't. I want to move on, but then I chicken out at the last second. I hate how I can kick ass all weekend, feel awesome and brave. Then it falls apart in a second. I spend the next month second guessing myself, and I'm getting sick of it."
"Then grow some balls and do it next time," Peggy words were firm but laced with humour. "My darling, life isn't going to wait to give you a sign. You have to get out there and just do it."
Only Peggy Carter could tell me to grow some balls and have it come off as a pep talk. Then again, I hadn't spoken to Natasha about this yet. I had no doubts she'd be telling me something very similar. Unless of course she and Clint had bets on whether I'd do it or not. She'd been very quiet over the last week. I was missing her a lot. I wish Stark would just hurry up and do something stupid enough that she could make her move and come home.
"So be brave, you might have missed this opportunity but don't miss the next one by always looking back," Peggy continued. "Your doctor friend was probably just thinking what most men would. You're an attractive young lady. He's a man, he's going to have inappropriate thoughts about you whether he wants to or not. There's no shame in it. Just continue as normal, there is no need to make it awkward because of a few drunk comments. If there's something else there, then embrace it."
Peggy was right. There was no denying it. She knew what I was going through better than anyone.
"Thank you, I needed that," I smiled, feeling like a weight had been lifted off me. Things were getting easier. But sometimes I really needed that extra kick up the ass. It was less and less these days. Despite what happened, I'd really grown as a person since last year.
Alexi had perfect timing. She came back to us with a chubby handful of flowers and grass. At least she had left the tulips alone.
"For Peggy," her smile was nothing short of angelic. Its hard to believe she'd been teary and screaming a few hours ago. I didn't envy Abby or Evans. She was quite the handful and having a newborn on top of her would be enough to drive me to drink. I was dreading dropping her off later. I couldn't deal with her tears and her begging me to stay. It ripped my heart out and stomped it in the dust every single time.
"Why thank you," Peggy smiled back, taking the handful off her. Closer up, the flowers looked more like weeds. But it was very cute how she kept bringing them back to us, looking so pleased with herself. "Can I get a hug?"
Alexi grinned, holding her arms up to be picked up. Peggy reached down and pulled her into her lap. Like Grams, Peggy didn't show her age at all. She still got around and acted like a much younger woman.
"You're going to be a little heartbreaker when your older, aren't you?" Peggy bounced Alexi on her knee, making the toddler giggle uncontrollably.
"No," Alexi shook her head, her dark mop of curls going in every direction. Her hair was so unruly at the moment. I should ask Abby if she wanted me to take her for a haircut before it got too out of control. I could really do with one as well, along with all of my once again neglected waxing.
"Your favourite word," I said dryly, but smiled at her anyway. "Do you want a snack?"
"Cookies?" Alexi's face brightened up even more. She swivelled around in Peggy's lap to look at me. She kind of looked like Clint's dogs when I asked if they wanted a treat. She had her head cocked to the side and everything. I buried my head into her bag trying to hold back my laughter. It was really cute though. Thankfully there was cookies there for her. It was definitely an Evans packed lunch. There was PB&J sandwich, cookies, potato chips and goldfish crackers. When Abby packed her lunch there was at least fruit added.
"Here's your cookies, come sit here and eat them," I asked, patting the bench next to me. Alexi obediently climbed out of Peggy's lap and came and sat beside me. I handed her the ziplock bag full of chocolate chip cookies. I'm sure I'd regret her sugar high later on, but for now she was still quiet and happy.
"She's adorable," Peggy said, pushing Alexi's curls behind her ears.
"Yeah until you put her in the same room with her new brother," I chuckled. "I feel so bad for Evans and Abby at the moment. They aren't getting a moment of peace."
"She'll get used to the little brother eventually," Peggy chuckled with me. "Until then, you're doing the best possible thing for them right now. I remember being so sleep deprived when Michael was born, I gave him a bottle full of coffee instead of milk. Thankfully Daniel noticed before he could drink too much."
"I heard Dad did that a few times too," my chuckles turned into laughter. I'd heard the stories of Dad when Jared and I were just born. Neither of us slept at the same time, so poor Mom and Dad were very sleep deprived for a few months until we settled down.
"Hazel and I banned Paul from going into work until you were both sleeping through the night," Peggy's face was full of humour, even if she did look lost in the memory. "That was an ordeal in itself."
Except for family holidays, I could never remember Dad having any extended time away from work.
"This age is the easy part." Peggy reached over giving Alexi's curls a small tousle. Alexi grinned at her with a mouthful of cookies, making both of us laugh. "Wait until she's a teenager and wanting to sneak out at night to go party."
"Not if she's anything like her boring god mother," I pulled a face at Alexi, making her giggle. She'd finished her cookies, so I handed her the juice box and potato chips to keep her quiet. "I stayed at home and studied hard. I never snuck out to parties."
Even if I had, I don't think there would have been any sneaking out involved. Mom was the more encouraging parent on me going out and being social with people from school. If I'd wanted to go to a party, she probably would have brought me alcohol, dropped me off and made sure I had a good time.
"I'm sure Jared made up enough mischief for both of you," Peggy's eyes were twinkling with humour. "Not much has changed, has it?"
"Nope," I heaved an overly dramatic sigh, but couldn't stop a smile creeping onto my face. "He's still a pain in the ass."
"So I heard," Peggy's expression turned serious once again. "How are you after your little incident in Pripyat?"
"Stiff, sore, constantly tired." There was no point lying about that. It was a long and boring road to recovery. There were days where I barely had the energy to make it through without needing an afternoon nap. "But alive, which is always a good start. The rest will get better in time."
The look of understanding on Peggy's face was easy to read. She knew I wasn't just talking about my physical health. But my mental health as well. The nightmares were starting to get fewer and further between. Most nights I could go back to sleep after having one without too much difficulty. That was about the only advantage of the constant nagging fatigue I still had. Greg had promised it'd go away eventually. I just had to be patient. After Laura saying the same thing, I was inclined to be patient for once in my life. With Tony Stark flitting around the world in his bid to be a one man private army, things had been unusually quiet on the global catastrophe front lately. So even if I was fit and fighting to go, I'd be like Bravo team and spending all my free time at the range doing nothing but waiting for somewhere to blow up.
"Alive is always preferable over dead," Peggy said dryly, with a small shake of her head. "How's Jared doing?"
"He's…." I trailed off, not sure how to put Jared into words. He was very good about putting on a brave face. It hadn't gone unnoticed by me that all the alcohol in the house, except for my scotch, had mysteriously vanished when we got home. I'd hear the TV on at all hours of the night but Jared was cheerful, almost annoyingly so. Whatever Clint said to him had worked, for the moment. It'd only been 3 days since we'd been home, so time would tell.
"Getting there as well," I finished my sentence. "He has an appointment in New York for his ankle next week."
Mom had somehow managed to get his case transferred to the Hospital for Special Surgery in New York. It was said to be one of the best orthopaedic hospitals in the country. It normally had waiting lists a few miles long, but Mom was very good at getting what she wanted. She wasn't convinced the orthopaedic surgeon at the GW Hospital had done a good enough job. According to the people she'd spoken with, he should be at least weight bearing and doing physical therapy by now.
"That'll make your Mom happy to have him home, even if its for a little while," Peggy said.
"And I get the apartment all to myself for a few days." As much as I loved my brother, I could do with a break from him once in a while. Being able to sit on the couch naked, eating ice cream and watching what I wanted to watch sounded like a very good break.
My phone buzzed loudly next to me, making me jump in surprise. It'd be surprisingly quiet all morning. I snatched it up, a little surprised to see the time. It was nearly 1500. No wonder Alexi was hungry. The message was from Greg.
Because I'm anal like this, just checking we're still good for tonight?
I smiled down at my phone. As I went to reply to his message, my phone buzzed again. This time the message was from Evans.
We are STILL waiting for the specialist. I'm so sorry Kari. Are you still good with Alexi for a few more hours? If you aren't, ring one of the boys and they can come and get her. Her portable cot is in the trunk if you need it.
Yeah, wouldn't that be a sight to see. Alexi was only fond of Sam who'd been banned from baby sitting duties. Apparently there had been an incident when she was younger that was never to be spoken of again and Sam was relieved of baby sitting duties forever. Evans had given me his car for the day for ease of car seat arrangements.
She's fine. How about I take her for the night? That way you don't have to worry about what time you get home.
"Sorry," I said to Peggy, feeling rude for being on my phone. "Evans is still waiting at the doctor. I think he's feeling guilty for leaving Alexi with me again."
"She seems perfectly content being with you," Peggy smiled over at Alexi. She was still fiddling with her juice box and potato chips. No doubt the birds hanging around the garden would be getting a nice feed tonight. She had cookie crumbs and potato chips everywhere. "And I don't see you complaining."
"I only complain when we have potty accidents," I screwed my face up in mild disgust. If Riley was somewhere looking down on me, no doubt he'd be rolling on the ground laughing at me dealing with Alexi's potty accidents. I used to firmly refuse about diaper changes. Fortunately, Alexi's early potty training was going extraordinarily well. Accidents were rare, and pull ups made life so much easier. I opened Greg's message, nibbling on my lower lip as I debated what to say.
We are still good, as long as you don't mind Alexi hanging around? You're welcome to come to my place and we'll go out from there?
"Kari?" Alexi got my attention my tugging on my shirt. I looked over at her in question. She held up her half finished packet of potato chips. "Share?"
"Thank you," I smiled as I took a chip. "Do you want to ask Peggy if she wants one?"
Alexi jumped down from the bench and went straight to Peggy. As she asked her, Greg's reply came back.
Of course not. Are we allowed to fill the little devil child up with chocolate and ice cream before we hand her back? Whats your address?
That made me laugh. Greg had met Alexi a few times while I was still on hospital. It had taken a few visits for Alexi to warm up to Greg. But his brownies won her over in the end. Peggy looked at me in question, so I showed her the reply.
"You can tell both of you are childless," Peggy said dryly after she scanned my phone. "You'll do that one day and it'll backfire in a big way. It's not nice when the karma fairy pisses in your cereal bowl. Just remember that."
"I will keep that in mind," I laughed, quickly tapping out a reply to Greg and Evans before putting my phone back beside me. The amount of time I spent texting Greg had made my typing skills a lot quicker. "Karma fairy pissing in the cereal bowl, I'll have to remember that one. I like it. We should start heading off though. Ready to go Munchkin?"
Alexi nodded rapidly, holding her arms out to me. She looked tired enough that she should nap in the car. If I timed it right, she would nap enough to play with Lila and then be tired enough for an early bedtime. I picked her up, shifting her over onto my hip. She instantly rested her head against my body, sticking her thumb in her mouth.
"She's done well to stay awake this long," Peggy slowly climbed to her feet. "Thank you for the visit."
"Thanks for the invite," I smiled, resting my head against Alexi's. "And the kick up the ass, again."
"You'll need them less and less as time wears on," Peggy laughed lightly. "Don't wait for my phone call next time. You're welcome here any time."
"I will drop in," I promised. I still felt awkward about just randomly dropping in, but if Peggy insisted, I'd make sure I did it.
Peggy helped me cart all of Alexi's gear back to the car and with a brief hug, we were gone. As I predicted, Alexi was asleep before I pulled out of the driveway. She slept the entire drive to Clint's place and grumbled heavily when I took her out of the car seat.
"If you slept during the night, you wouldn't be cranky and tired," I chuckled as I lifted her up. "Trust me, I know these things. Want to see Lila?"
Alexi grumbled into my shirt, it vaguely sounded like a yes, but knowing Alexi it could have been anything. Juggling her bag, I managed to make it into the house without dropping her or her bag. The dogs greeted me at the door, bouncing up and down as I pushed my way through. A second later Lila came skidding down the hallway.
"Kari, Kari, Kari!" Lila bounced up and down. "Come see my room!"
"I'm coming," I smiled while shaking my head at the excited kid. "Alexi, do you…."
I didn't need to finish that sentence, Alexi was already wriggling to get down. Seeing Lila must flicked her on switch back on. Though they didn't see each other much, Alexi was fascinated with Lila. It helped that Lila took her responsibility of being the older 'Aunty' very seriously. It was very cute seeing them together. Before I could ask Lila anything else, her and Alexi were already racing off towards the backyard with the dogs in tow. Lucky stopped beside me to get another pat before slowly following them. Poor Lucky, he didn't seem to keen to head out into the muggy afternoon.
"Come on boy." I took pity on him, scratching his ears. "I'll let you stay inside. Where's your Dad?"
A muffled thump and loud curse gave me a solid clue to Clint's whereabouts. I headed up the stairs with Lucky trailing after me and went straight to Lila's room. As I opened the door, I could see why Clint would be cursing.
There was bits of furniture everywhere. Amongst the wreckage was plastic, instructions, what looked to be cans of soda, cupcake wrappers and things I couldn't identify. Jared and Clint were both sitting on the floor, arguing about where a certain piece went. Cooper was nowhere to be found, which wasn't like him when it came to anything needing to be built.
"Wow," I surveyed the carnage in front of me. "Laura is going to kill you boys."
"Be quiet and help us put this together," Clint picked up another piece of wood and waved it at me, his eyes never leaving the instructions. "Your smart. You should be able to decipher Ikea instructions."
"Yeah I know," I said with a smirk coming onto my face. "My IQ is higher than both of you combined."
"Then sit your ass down and help," Clint looked up from the instructions. The frustration clear on his face. "Seriously, why is this so fucking hard?"
"Because some idiot decided that buying his daughter a loft bed was a fantastic idea," Jared grumbled, throwing his piece of paper down on the floor. "And how did I get roped into this?"
"Because I offered you free food," Clint said smartly. "And you loved the cupcakes, so be quiet and help me finish."
"Where's Cooper?" I asked finally braving myself to step into the room. God it was a mess. Lila wasn't the tidiest child, but this was a little crazy.
"I brought him a new Pokemon DS game," Clint explained, handing me the instructions once I got within arms reach. "So I won't be seeing him for a month."
"Lila and Alexi went out the back with Lucy," I said with a nod of understanding about Cooper. When he got something new, it took a lot to pry him away from it. Whether it be a new book, game or whatever the flavour of the month was. "Lucky begged me to stay in."
Lucky was already asleep in the hallway. His ear twitched at the mention of his name, but he didn't move. Poor boy. Lila must have really been running him ragged today.
"Poor fella," Clint chuckled. "Are you staying for dinner?"
"No, she has a date," Jared spoke up. "Another reason I came over for free food."
"It's not a date," I said for the millionth time. "Just chilli dogs and beer. Besides, Alexi is staying over so it's not like anything would happen if it was a date. The next one of you who says its a date is going to find themselves in a shallow grave."
Clint watched me with his trade mark shit eating grin growing on his face. I could hear exactly what he was thinking. The grin on Jared's face wasn't helping either. Scowling, I made a ball of ice and started to toss it from hand to hand.
"Don't you fucking say it Barton."
"It's so a date," Clint sprung to his feet just as I launched myself at him. Ball of ice forgotten, I tackled him hard. We both crashed to the floor in a tangled of limbs. Luck was on my side as I landed on top.I swiftly pinned Clint to the floor and grabbed his left arm, forcing it into lock. For good measure, I dug my nails into his skin and iced my hand over letting the cold spread over his skin. The effect was instant, he let out the most undignified yelp and squirmed underneath me. Jared burst into hysterical laughter at our antics. I was quite proud of myself, sitting here perched on Clint's ass. It was a good move on my part.
"Ok, ok, I take it back," Clint said hastily. "Don't freeze my arm off, I need that to shoot and jerk off."
"Oh god you're such a fucking teenager sometimes," I groaned, instantly releasing his arm and scrambling off him. "Come on, lets put this bed together otherwise I'll have Lila and Alexi sleeping over tonight."
"Bully," Clint rolled over, rubbing his shoulder. He scowled up at me. "What do you think we've been trying to do for the last 6 hours?"
So far there was some drawers assembled. I sighed heavily. This was going to take a lot more patience than I was currently feeling. What those two had been doing all day was anybodies guess.
With the three of us actually working on it, we at least got the bed assembled so Lila had somewhere to sleep tonight. The rest could be finished tomorrow. Alexi and Lila had spent most of the time outside, running around under the sprinkler and playing in the sandbox. They only came inside for a few minutes at a time. Jared had sat by the window and made sure they didn't get into any mischief while outside. There were no crashes downstairs, so whatever they were doing when they came in had been quiet and hopefully mess free.
Clint came downstairs with me to help me get Alexi in the car. Despite his offer of taking her for a few hours so Greg and I could be alone, I wanted to take her with me. Their teasing about this being a date had begun to stick in my mind. I wasn't going to admit it, but I was starting to feel a little nervous. Alexi would be my safety buffer for the night.
"She'll be fine Kari," Clint was still trying to persuade me by the time we got to the kitchen. "I have spaghetti bolognese planned for dinner, chocolate cake for dessert. She'll be asleep with Lila before…"
Clint trailed off, his eyes scanning the empty kitchen benches with a small frown.
"Where the fuck did the cake go?" Clint frowned even further as he picked up an empty plate. "I swear I left it out."
"Check in the fridge?" I said with a shrug, making my way to the back door. Pulling it open, I recoiled at the blast of hot air. Yuck, this humidity could fuck off. I hated this time of summer. Lucy had enough common sense to run inside as soon as the door was open wide enough. "Alexi, time to go."
"Coming!" Lila answered for both of them. They both had been in the sandbox, keeping out of the sun thanks to the tree shading it. Lila helped Alexi up, brushing the excess sand off her clothes before taking her hand and coming back inside. It wasn't until they got close up, I could see something smeared over both their faces. It looked suspiciously like chocolate. Before I could ask them what was on their faces Clint hollered from inside.
"Lila Alianova Barton, get your ass in here right now!"
"Uh oh," Alexi giggled, holding her arms out to be picked up. As disgusting as she was, I picked her up holding her as far away as possible from my body. "Busted."
The look of guilt on Lila's face told me more than words could. Looks like the girls helped themselves to the chocolate cake while we were upstairs. Alexi's face and hands were covered in frosting, along with sand and dirt from playing outside. There was even a smear of frosting in her hair. Lila wasn't much better. But she had at least washed her hands. The evidence was still all over her face.
"Busted all right," I looked down at Lila trying to be stern. "Quick, inside before your Dad kicks your butt."
"Ass," Alexi corrected me with a giggle.
"That's enough from you Miss Potty Mouth," I forced myself not to giggle at her correction. Technically she wasn't wrong. Clint did say ass, not butt.
"We didn't mean it," Lila pouted, her eyes already filling with tears. "It was an accident, I swear Kari."
"Inside," I said firmly. I couldn't deal with it when Lila cried. She was setting herself up to be a world class actress with her ability to turn on the water works at the drop of a hat. Even if it was a fake cry, her crestfallen little face still made me feel like I was a terrible person.
The welling tears quickly spilt over and Lila started to cry before she made it inside. Her eyes darted to the side, as if she was looking for an escape. I quickly grabbed her arm before she could duck out of reach and gently pushed her inside. Clint was standing by the kitchen bench, arms crossed and had a hard expression on his face. All he had to do was point at the empty plate and Lila cried even harder.
"We just wanted a little piece," Lila blubbered. She was sobbing and hiccuping at the same time. I could see a little indent appear in Clint's cheek, like he was biting it to stop himself laughing. But he remained silent and stony on the outside. "I tried to make it a little piece and then we dropped it. So we ate it all because I couldn't put it back on the bench!"
"Yeah!" Alexi exclaimed loudly with a giggle. "Cake hit ground. Oh fuck."
Clint cleared his throat, the indentation on his cheek looking more and more pronounced with every passing second. I coughed to cover the laughter wanting to burst from my chest.
"Language Alexi," Clint managed to keep his voice even. "Otherwise you owe a dollar in the swear jar."
"Aww fuck," Alexi screwed her face up at Clint in disgust. I had to give it to Clint, he managed to keep a straight face when I was failing desperately at it. I resorted to digging my fingernails into my palm to try and distract myself. I knew I shouldn't laugh. But Evans was right in that she at least swore in the right context.
"Yeah, that's another dollar," Clint said firmly. I could see his adams apple bobbing up and down as he swallowed back his own laughter. "On second thought, you can keep the potty mouth for the night. Lila, you know the rules. Go get cleaned up and we'll put another cake on for dessert. After that, no movies for the rest of the week. Understood? Go wash up."
Lila's tears stopped immediately as she nodded rapidly. She ducked out of the room quicker than I thought she was capable.
"You have to admit, its kind of funny," I said once Lila was well out of earshot. "The cake fell down so we had to eat it all. It sounds like something you'd say."
"It's exactly something I would say," Clint groaned, rubbing his face looking tired. "I was really looking forward to that chocolate cake. All I have left is box mix and it isn't the same."
"No, it's not," I agreed with him. Clint made a really, really good chocolate cake. Box mix tasted like shit compared to his cake. "Anyway, I'll head off so I'm not rushing to get her clean. Good luck with the rest of the bed."
"Yeah, thanks," Clint said dryly. He reached over and gave Alexi's curls a gentle tug, causing her to giggle and grab at his fingers. "Good luck tonight. Have fun."
I punched his arm for the sly wink he added. The hit was only hard enough to make Clint laugh at me. Alexi decided to copy me, landing a glancing blow on his arm as well. Clint dropped the floor, grabbing his arm dramatically, groaning like he was in pain.
"Oh no, Lexi Luther has used her super powers and defeated the mighty Hawkeye," Clint groaned dramatically, rolling around on the floor. Alexi laughed hysterically, clapping her hands at Clint's antics. She wriggled out of my grip and launched herself at Clint. He caught her just before she could land on his body, holding her at arms length above him. "Ah HA! I have captured her. She's all mine now! Feel the wrath of the incredible Hawkeye's tickle powers!"
Alexi laughed even harder as Clint started to tickle her. Her laughter turned into hysterical shrieking pretty quickly thanks to her very ticklish sides. I stood there, laughing myself at the scene in front of me. Clint was so good with kids. Even I could admit the scene in front of me was adorable. Once Alexi was all tickled out, Clint picked her up so I could grab her bag and pack the car without a wriggling toddler to deal with. He was also heaps quicker at getting her strapped into the carseat. That thing felt like I needed an engineering degree to do up correctly. Then it took Alexi forever to say goodbye to Clint. She kept waving him back into the car for a cuddle, kiss or to babble something at him. It wasn't until I pointedly said we had to go and got into the drivers seat, Clint stopped giving into her demands.
"You spoil her too," Clint defended himself, waving goodbye to Alexi through the now closed window and locked door. "I'm only a phone call away if you need anything."
"I know," I resisted rolling my eyes at him. This time he sounded serious instead of just being a teasing asshole. "We'll be fine. She stayed over at Riley's place all the time. I'm sure I can manage anything she throws at me."
"Drive safely then," Clint smiled down at me. "And have fun on your not date."
And the teasing was back. This time I did roll my eyes, winding up the window as I flipped him off. Clint only grinned at me in return, returning the gesture as I pulled out of his driveway.
As my luck would have it, I hit heavy traffic as soon as I pulled onto the main road. The congestion lasted all the way home, making it a slow crawl the entire way. Alexi stayed awake for the entire trip, keeping me amused with her broken sentences and babbling. She was fascinated with everything in the outside world. Her favourite thing was to point at something, you'd say what it was and she'd repeat it. Or attempt to at least. It was 1758 by the time I pulled into the garage. With any luck Greg would be running late as well. I had no idea where he lived, except it was in the DC area. Traffic at this time of the evening on any weekday was a nightmare in every direction.
I managed to get Alexi and all her stuff up to the apartment without dropping anything. On the trip up, she'd gone very quiet. Her head had fallen on my shoulder as we got into the apartment.
"Lets get you cleaned up," I gave her a little bounce. "Then we'll go get chilli dogs for dinner. How does that sound?"
Alexi shook her head, mumbling something I couldn't understand into my shirt. I sighed quietly, resting my own head against hers. I really hoped she wasn't going to start being difficult. She'd been such an angel all day. But she was prone to toddler meltdowns and I felt like there was one about to come on.
"Lets at least wash your face and hands?" I tried to negotiate. I sucked at this whole parenting thing.
"No," Alexi grumped, pulling herself upright so we were looking at each other. She made a small whimper and shook her head. All of a sudden, she didn't look too crash hot.
"What's wrong baby girl?" I asked.
A knock on the door made me jump. Glancing at the clock, I surpassed my groan. Dammit, he was punctual. It was 1800 on the dot. The nerves from earlier came back in full force. Holy shit, what was I doing?
Nope. Fuck it, I wasn't going to let myself answer that question. I was going to grow some balls and enjoy chilli dogs tonight. Greg had seen me at my worst while in hospital. He wasn't going to care I was currently sweaty with my hair in a frizzy mess. Hell, he might even appreciate the short denim shorts I had on.
"Its open," I called out, squashing the nerves down.
"Hello ladies," Greg said as he opened the door. His own smile looked just as nervous as I was feeling a second ago. He wasn't empty handed. He already had a bag from Ben's and a 6 pack in the other hand. "I come bearing gifts of beer, apple juice and Ben's Chilli Bowl."
The next few seconds happened in slow motion. As Greg came in the door, Alexi went paler than before. Her mouth opened and I knew what was about to happen and was powerless to stop it. She projectile vomited all over the front of me, like she was the possessed child from the Exorcist. The never ending stream of chocolate cake, cookies and whatever else she'd eaten today went everywhere. I could only stand there with my eyes closed, feeling the vomit drip from what felt like every inch of my body and onto the floor. It felt like it lasted 10 minutes before she stopped. The silence in the room was near deafening as I stood there with no idea what to do. Greg was first to break the silence.
"Oh," Greg cleared his throat, sounding like he was trying not to laugh. "Shit."
"Shit all right," I scrunched my face up, willing myself not to vomit at the acidic smell wafting to my nose. "Umm?"
Crying seemed like a good option but that wasn't going to help me standing here covered in vomit.
"Hang on," Greg didn't sound flustered at all. A few seconds later, a towel of some sort was being pressed into my hands. The weight of Alexi lifted off my side and I managed to wipe my face off enough to open my eyes.
Greg was already heading to the bathroom with Alexi held at arms length and wrapped in a towel. Gagging at the smell wafting around me, I quickly followed them. I knew I was leaving a trail of vomit footprints, but right now I needed a shower and out of these clothes. I'd burn them if I had to.
"I am so sorry." The reality of what just happened was starting to sink in pretty quickly. Mortified was probably too soft of a word about what I was starting to feel. "She kind of got into the chocolate cake and…."
"Kari, its fine," Greg laughed, breaking the tension. He gently placed Alexi in the bathtub. "Have a shower, I'll deal with the rest. You look like you're about to be sick yourself."
"I so don't do vomit." Despite his reassurance, I could feel a hot blush crawling up my neck. Just when I thought I was growing some balls, something like that had to happen. "I am so sorry."
"She's a kid, they get sick some times," Greg shrugged. Unlike me, he looked completely calm about the situation. There was even a little amusement playing across his face. "Have a shower. Chocolate cake projectile vomit isn't a good look on you."
"Yeah, yuck," Alexi piped up from the bath. She was completely wrapped up in Jared's towel, grinning up at me.
"I'll leave you ladies to it," Greg laughed again, leaving the bathroom and closing the door behind him.
"Thanks Alexi, so smooth," I couldn't keep the grumble out of my voice as I looked down at her. She grinned in response, her sickness gone as quickly as it came on. I quickly stripped both us off, leaving the dirty clothes in the bath for now.
Alexi wasn't happy with the shower. She squirmed while I tried to get her clean. Even to the point of a few fake tears when I tried to get the body wash and shampoo on her. It was a big shower, so I felt like I was nearly chasing her around it. She was slippery enough to keep getting out of my grasp.
"Please, please, please Alexi just 2 minutes and it'll all be over," I pleaded with her. It'd been a long day and I was fast running out of energy and patience. I still hadn't gotten to mess out of my hair yet and the smell was starting to make me feel sick.
"Nooooo," Alexi whined, getting out of my grip once again. This time she was too quick for me and managed to get out of the shower completely. Quick as a flash, she was across the bathroom and out the door. Greg must have left it open a crack because she had no problems getting out.
I grabbed the first clean towel that came to my hand and shot out after her. Unluckily for me the towel was a small one and barely covered the front of me, let alone my ass. Greg was about to get more of an eyeful than he expected tonight. Alexi had made it into the kitchen before I grabbed her. Luckily she decided to start giggling instead of throwing a tantrum.
"Sorry!" I called over my shoulder, quickly running back to the bathroom with the squirming toddler in front of me. This time I made sure the door was closed properly and locked it for good measure. "Now Madam, stop your fussing and lets get clean. Kari really, really needs a beer now."
"Beer!" Alexi clapped in excitement. "Yay!"
"No beer for you," I laughed anyway. "Come on, shower."
This time Alexi didn't fight me as much. I managed to get both of us vomit free and smelling a lot better after 10 minutes. This time I found a towel that would cover all the essential parts before stepping outside.
"I put her bag in what I hope was your room," Greg called out from the kitchen. "I'm not looking, I promise."
"The towel covers everything this time," I called back, but ushered Alexi into my room quickly to save anymore embarrassing moments. I wasn't going to ask if tonight could be any more embarrassing, because that felt like I was issuing a challenge to the universe.
Alexi was surprisingly cooperative about getting dressed. I put her on my bed with a picture book while I brushed my hair and got dressed. It took me longer than it should have. I stood in front of my wardrobe agonising about what to wear. Despite my thoughts earlier, I didn't want to look too casual. But I didn't want to look like I'd purposely got dressed up either. In the end I settled on something similar to what I'd been wearing when Greg arrived. Denim shorts with a nicer t-shirt than before. I quickly ran a brush through my knotty hair and pulled it up in a messy bun.
"Ok Munchkin time for…." I turned around, trailing off at what I saw. Alexi was fast asleep. I thought she'd gone awfully quiet. It was very early for her to be in bed, no doubt she'd be up at the crack of dawn this morning. But I didn't have to heart or energy to wake her up. It'd been a very long day for both of us.
I quietly left the room, leaving the door open a crack in case she woke up.
"I'm so sorry," I apologised again as I stepped into the living room. The rest of the apology didn't leave my mouth as I stared at what I thought was going to be a big mess. Where Alexi had thrown up was completely clean. The lingering smell of bleach still hung in the air, but it was better than vomit. "Wow, you didn't have to do that."
"Like I said, vomit doesn't worry me," Greg smiled from where he was in the kitchen. "Like I was going to sit out there and leave the mess for you to clean up. Beer?"
"Oh god yes," I exhaled noisily, feeling my shoulder droop. "You didn't have to bring everything over."
"I figured that dragging Alexi with us might be a hassle, so I brought dinner with me," Greg said with a shrug. "It's no big deal. Don't you even try and offer to pay for it either."
There goes the next thing I was going to say. Arguing over paying for something would have stopped the awkward silence that was about to happen. It was really good to see Greg in person, but I had no idea what to do next. Should I move to give him a hug? Argue over paying for dinner anyway? Luckily for me, Greg was on the ball and looking more at ease than before. He cracked open one of the beers on the counter, handing it to me with a cooler.
"I even brought the entire Die Hard collection with me," Greg grinned, holding up the said DVD's. "And brownies."
"You had me at Die Hard," I grinned back, feeling myself starting to relax. "Chilli dogs and brownies are a bonus."
Maybe this wasn't going to be so awkward after all.
Authors Note
I hope everyone enjoys this. It was a very cute chapter to write. I'd been missing writing Clint's kids for a while and just had to get at least one of them in there somewhere. The quick update was a bonus too!
Thank you so much to everyone who reviews, whether you're a new fan or old one. Some of you have stuck with me from the beginning and it makes me so happy to see familiar faces popping up and reviewing. Believe me, your reviews always get read several times and really do keep me motivated to write.
So, whats going to happen next? You'll have to wait until next time to find out!
Until then.