Summary: Based on chapter 438. The rumour mill surrounding Gray goes a little crazy….
Pairings: Gray/Juvia, Gray/Lucy, Gray/Erza, Gray/Laki, Gray/Kinana, Gray/Evergreen, Gray/Cana, Gray/Mirajane, Gray/Lisanna, Gray/Levy, Gray/Bisca, Alzack/Bisca, Gray/Lyon, Gray/Natsu, Gray/Ichiya, Gray/Rogue/Sting, Gray/Rufus, Gray/Avatars, Gray/Mermaid Heel, Gray/Aliens, some Natsu/Lucy, Mirajane/Shipping, and implied Lucy/Juvia/Wendy friendship.
YouTube Prompt: Any love triangle, crack or real, to 'Rumour Has It' by Adele
It started off innocently enough.
After all, they hadn't seen each other for a year, people were bound to be curious what the others have been up to, and they were bound to gossip over what they had found out.
So Gray wasn't so surprised when he heard them whispering about how he and Juvia had lived together for six months, and while he was frustrated that no one seemed to believe that Juvia had invited herself in and just wouldn't leave, Gray wasn't entirely bothered by it.
But then they started to discuss about why he left her.
"I heard he was having an affair."
"I heard," another person said loudly, "that he was having an affair with Lucy."
"And Erza!"
As usual, Gray's shouts of denial were ignored, and then, despite the fact he gave them all his best, Erza-like, glare, they all continued to theorise about him as if he was not standing right there in front of them!
There was a whisper, Gray couldn't see who, but then Reedus suddenly turned round and grinned. "You're both wrong," he declared, "I have heard that Gray left Juvia not to just have an affair with not just Lucy and Erza but with Cana, Laki, Mira, Lisanna, Bisca, Evergreen, Kinana, and Levy. He had a harem of Fairy Tail girls."
"WHAT?!" Gray and Alzack both shrieked. Alzack then turned a deadly glare on Gray and fumbled for his gun. "I'm going to murder you," he hissed.
"Dear," Bisca took hold of her husband's wrist, "I have been with you the entire time last year. At what point would I have had the time to sleep with Gray."
"Oh yeah," Alzack said sheepishly, and thankfully he put the gun away, "You could hardly cheat on me with Gray while we were in the woods hunting. But if I catch that punk even staring at you in the wrong way-"
"Then I will shoot his balls off," Bisca finished firmly.
"It's not our girl he's having an affair with!" Max suddenly burst out. "I had heard he slept with the whole Mermaid Heel guild!"
"The fuck?!"
"Really?" Warren said sceptically. "Because I heard it wasn't even a girl at all let alone a whole guild of them I heard that Gray left Juvia for Lyon."
"Oooooh!"
"Ha!" Natsu barked gleefully. "I always knew Gray was a poofter!"
"Natsu!" Lucy scolded him. "There is no need for language like that. There is nothing wrong with being gay."
"I know," Natsu whined childishly, "I'm just saying that I always knew he was gay. I mean look at him, he's too pretty and whiny and obsessed with his looks to be straight."
"WHAT WAS THAT?!"
"Funny that you said that Natsu," Nab smiled, "because I heard you were the one that Gray left Juvia for."
"WHAT?!" Natsu squawked. "How the fuck was that possible?! I was busy training!"
"That's nothing," Laki said dismissively, "I heard that Gray got himself into a three-way relationship with the Twin Dragon Slayers."
"Really?" Kinana raised an eyebrow. "I heard it was Rufus."
"Oh no!" Cana said drunkenly. "It was Ichiya!"
Everyone shuddered at those mental images while Juvia burst into tears. "Juvia doesn't know what to do!" she wailed. "G-G-Gray-sama has too many love interests!" she sniffled. "There are too many Love Rivals! Juvia can't kill them all, people will begin to notice!"
"Wait…..what?!"
Juvia ignored half the guilds' sudden concern for their well-being as she went into full heart-wrenching sobs that made her whole body shake.
"Oi! Juvia," Gray said as gently as possible…..which wasn't very possible because he was really, really, really irritated with the rumours going around. "Quit crying!" he ordered as he wrapped his arms round her and held her to his chest. "You know I only left because of the Avatars."
"Oh yeah," Gajeel blinked, "someone was telling me about that. Weren't you constantly having orgies with that lot?"
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!"
"Thanks," Gray said sarcastically, "that helped so much."
"Gihihi," Gajeel snickered, "You're welcome."
"No, no, no!" Mirajane suddenly cried out. "You got it all wrong. Gray would never cheat on Juvia with anyone. They're in love!" Gray choked at that while Juvia seemed to finally stop sobbing and looked up to stare at Mira in wonder. "Gray left because he abducted by aliens!" Mira concluded sweetly.
"….Erm…."
"I think I have it worked out," Levy said, "first Gray left Juvia for Lucy but then he left Lucy for Erza, and then routinely went through each and every female member of this guild, apart from Asuka, Wendy, and Charle, and then when he got bored of the Fairy Tail girls."
"Which is really offensive," Cana interrupted, "because none of us are boring."
"Yes, quite," Levy agreed primly, "now as I was saying, when he got bored of us, he took over Mermaid Guild and made them all serve him sexually but when the Magic Council got wind of his sex crimes, he ran away with Lyon and they had hot boy sex, but that wasn't hot enough, so Gray took up with Natsu, and after having such a burning, torrid, affair in which Natsu broke Gray's heart-"
"Because Natsu was really under the influence of one of Juvia's love potions and seeing his one true love, Lucy, broke the spell and he went to have hot, bondage, make-up sex with her!" Mira jumped in. "How romantic!" she cooed.
Lucy turned bright pink while Natsu spluttered incoherently. No one paid them any attention as Levy merely nodded sagely in agreement with Mira. "And so he decided to go for something safe," she continued, "but he couldn't go back to Juvia, not only had he got infected with syphilis and crabs – and he's too much of a gentleman despite his cheating ways to give them to Juvia – but he had a taste of what it was like to be a homosexual and enjoyed it so much that he wanted another man."
"Men are manly," Elfman agreed.
"…."
"What?" Elfman blinked as he realised everyone was staring at him, jaws dropped wide open. "It is manly to say that but still be straight it means you are secure in your sexuality and are a MAN!"
"Ooooooookay," Levy said slowly, "so that was when Gray took up with Ichiya but he couldn't stay with Ichiya for long. He's not blind, deaf, and stupid."
"Or lacking sense of smell," Erza muttered darkly.
"And he craved for something hot and young again, which was how he ended up with Sting and Rogue," Levy continued as if Erza had spoken, "and then Rufus totally raped him in revenge for losing in the Grand Magical Games, which left him so traumatised that he turned evil and joined the Avatars, and they had orgies every night, and then suddenly he was abducted by aliens were he was violently probed."
"…"
"…"
"…"
"…sounds about right!" Wakaba said cheerfully. "Matches with everything I heard."
"That sounds like the truth."
"I can believe that."
"Sounds like something Gray would do," Loke said, "he's emotionally screwed up like that."
"Wait, does this mean that both Sabertooth and the Avatars have been infected by Gray?!"
"And the aliens! Don't forget the aliens!"
"Juvia can live with these events," Juvia said solemnly, "no go back to the hot boy love bit…..without Ichiya-san!" she added quickly.
"WHAT THE FUCK?!" Gray exploded, having finally lost his temper. "HOW IS ANY OF THAT BELIEVABLE?! I AM NOT GAY, I HAVE NOT GOT A SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DISEASE, AND I HAVE NOT SLEPT WITH ANY OF THE GIRLS IN THIS GUILD – AS YOU ALL KNOW! – AND I HAVE DEFINITELY NOT BEEN ABDUCTED AND PROBED BY ALIENS!" Gray was now full out screaming and had to take a deep breath before he could finish. "WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU GETTING THIS CRAP?!" he bellowed.
Behind Gray, unseen by most, was Lucy and Wendy high fiving one another. That should teach Gray a lesson or two.