Angryfanfic: I'm sorry, but I don't write smut.
Green Meadow1870: I'm not sure if you remember when you gave me this suggestion. It was from a while ago, but I wanted to build it up. But I've had this planned for a really long time, and I'm glad I finally got to use it!
So…hi? I honestly have no excuse other than I had no idea how to write this chapter, and I'm a terrible procrastinator. Still, I hope you enjoy it nonetheless!
Chapter Twenty-Six
Rose honestly wasn't sure what to do. It wasn't like she could just walk up to Ella and ask her about the fire, was it? She didn't even know where she was staying for now - Kassie didn't have any extended family or extremely close friends.
She just felt…hollow.
Lots of people had left before - in fact, before the circus, everyone she'd known had left. But it was never as though she'd cared about or been close to any of them. Ella and Vivian were beginning to become a part of their circus family, and Kassie was on her way to it as well.
Now she had lost all three of them. Vivian's mother had no idea she ever came to the circus, and there was no chance she would allow it.
So Rose went through her normal routine. She woke up, got dressed, went to the circus, practiced, performed, and went home.
A part of her still scanned the crowds at performances, waiting for the moment after the show when she would see the two girls racing towards her.
But it never came.
And she doubted it ever would again.
But, even if she didn't see them at a performance, she did end up seeing them both again.
It was a day like any other. There was a light blanket of snow outside and the streets were icy enough for children to play and slide around on. It was warm inside the circus, and peaceful. Then the knocking started.
It was loud, and desperate, and Phin immediately hurried to open the door. They heard voices, but were unable to make out the words until Ella and Vivan hurried in, faces red from the cold and something else.
It took Rose a moment to realize, but then she saw the icy tear tracks along both girls' faces.
"What's wrong?" Lettie immediately asked, hurrying up to the girls.
Ella tried to speak, but her voice cracked as she choked on a sob. Vivan pulled her in closer and spoke instead.
"Ella's been staying with us-" her voice trembled. "But my mom…she- she called them and- next time they come…the- the orphan trains-" she broke off as a heavy silence, thick with tension, set over the circus.
"We'll stop them," Phin said. "Charity and I can-"
"You know that won't work," WD said softly, meeting Phin's eyes. "They nearly took Anne and I away after our mother died, but we avoided it because I was eighteen by then and they didn't want to deal with us. But you run a circus. Despite everything, we're freaks. They'd never give her to any of us."
Charity, who had come to help today, moved forward and gently rested a hand on Ella's shoulder. The young girl turned around and buried herself in the woman's arms, still sobbing.
Less than two weeks later, when they heard the screech of a train whistle and watched Vivian pass by, her eyes dull as her mother gripped her hand, they knew it was too late.
Ella was gone.
After a week of the same, mindless routine, Rose sat on her bed, staring out the window. She wasn't sure what to do with herself. The sunlight was hidden behind clouds, and the people were hurrying down the street. She'd heard them say it might rain tonight. Perhaps if it was a different day she would joke about how the rain matched her mood, but she didn't have it in her. She felt too…dull.
There was a soft knock on her door, and she hardly heard herself as she told the person to come in. Her voice seemed a million miles away.
"Rose?"
She turned to face the speaker, and immediately softened a bit when she saw him.
"Dad," she greeted, offering a weak smile. He didn't buy it for a second, she didn't know if that was good or bad.
He seemed to hesitate a moment, before taking a deep breath and continuing.
"I know things haven't been the best lately, but there's something I'd like to show you. We would have to leave the house and walk for a bit, if you don't mind? I think it would help," he said gently, moving a bit so he was standing just inside her doorway. Close, but still able to leave if she wanted him too.
Rose bit her lip, but nodded. She wouldn't exactly get anywhere by sitting here, would she?
Phillip pulled her out of the room and they began the walk down the street in silence. The family walked everywhere, why wouldn't they? Everything was so close by, and by now they only got a few odd looks from the people who hadn't gotten used to them yet. And, if they needed to go somewhere further away, Phin and Charity would let them borrow the carriage.
By now, the jumble of voices and noise was as much a part of Rose's life as the circus. She had lived here for about a year by now, and loved it. They still weren't completely accepted here, but they weren't hated either. They were able to exist peacefully, and some people even liked them. The flower seller a few streets down would talk to Anne when she walked past; Mrs. Ross, who ran the boutique, seemed to like Rose's company; the couple who owned the bakery around the corner was always sweet to Jackson or Rose if they went to pick up breakfast.
On the other hand, some people would shoot them glares and whisper behind their hands, some even speaking loud enough for the others to hear. Anne and Rose were used to it and able to ignore the harsh words, but Phillip and Jackson were visibly upset whenever they heard them.
Still, it didn't stop them. They were happy enough with their lives.
Or at least they used to be.
By now, Rose and Phillip had reached the borderline of the town, where it faded from pretty houses and shops to where the richer people lived. Not quite there, but closer than usual.
Phillip slowed to a stop, and Rose did as well. She looked around, actually taking in her surroundings for the first time in a while, and realized they were in front of a simple, red brick building. She took note of the latter on the side, and glanced at Phillip, who gave her a nod as confirmation.
She moved forward and began to climb, slowly and carefully, safe in the knowledge that Phillip was beneath her and would catch her if she fell. But, thankfully, as the thin layer of ice on the iron bars melted under her touch, years of climbing buildings in the streets came back to her as she got up easily. A moment later Phillip joined her and she looked around.
They were on the roof of the two-story building. It was flat and she could see the remains of wild vines along the edge. From up here, she could see everything underneath. It felt…isolated. Like she was looking into a world she didn't know but at the same time knew better than anything.
It was nice.
She let herself sit close to the ledge, but not close enough to fall, and felt Phillip lower himself onto the brick next to her.
"I used to come here when I was younger," he broke the silence, his voice delicate. "When my parents got mad at me. It's beautiful in spring, the vines bloom with beautiful yellow flowers. You would like them."
Rose nodded, but felt a bit of warmth in her chest. He was sharing a part of his past with her. Like a father.
Because they were a family.
But did being a family ever guarantee you would stay together?
What had she done today? She was pretty sure she practiced her routine, but it was a blurry mess of memory, of jumbled up sentences and the feel of wind as she fell and the smell of smoke and-
No. Not again.
She would not allow herself to go back. Back to the fires and pain and the red and orange flickering around her and encasing her body, curling her into a ball and keeping her there until the smoke seeped into her skin and she could never get that dreaded smell of wood out and she would always smell like it because that was all she was and why did it always have to go this way?
Her vision was oddly blurry. Was she crying? When did she start crying?
And then warm arms wrapped around her. Familiar arms that held her and kept her safe and protected.
Why did they go? Why did everything have to be shattered like glass the moment she thought things would work out? Was it her? Was she the reason? Did she push people so far away their only option was to fall into the unforgiving and cold embrace of loneliness?
Why couldn't she do anything right, for God's sake! She was so utterly useless! She couldn't stop anyone from leaving! Her parents left her, the orphanage and each of its miserable inhabitants left her, and now - just when it was finally okay - Vivan and Ella left. Who was next?
Who would she force away next?
And then those arms tightened around her and she sobbed onto someone's chest and for god's sake look how useless she was she couldn't even pull herself together, just stop it no one wants to see you cry you-
And then the arms tightened, and she felt the voice before she heard it.
"It's okay Rose," her father whispered. "We care."
And then it broke, like water flooding down the wall of flames and the smoke obscuring her vision began to clear and she just talked and talked.
She wasn't sure exactly what she said. But she knew she talked about Ella and Vivian and how much it hurt and about family and how helpless and loved and strange it made her feel and how she never wanted to trade it for anything but it hurt so much to lose it.
The only comfort she could think of was that it would get better.
And that Phillip, her father was here and he was holding her and he loved her and he wouldn't leave. Because it hurt when people left. There was always the chance they would.
But by the time the conversation was over and she was left sitting in his arms, on the roof, watching the people underneath live their lives, all she could think was that, even if they did leave, they wouldn't leave without a fight.
Because they loved her, and she loved them, and that made them a family.
And, even if she didn't see either of them anytime soon, Ella and Vivan were a part of that family. Eventually, they'd find their way back to them.
And there we go! I actually like how this chapter turned out, I feel like I haven't done nearly enough Rose/Phillip bonding in this story. This was a chapter I've been planning to write for ages, and I was glad to finally do it!
Thanks for reading, and please review!
-Creator of Magic