Okay, so quite a bit happens in this chapter. We're wrapping up some loose ends, and I think everyone who's liked Jackson and Rose so far will be very happy with this update. There's also some important news at the ending Author's Note, so please read that!
TW: There is a mention of a past suicide attempt in this chapter. It's nothing graphic, but I'll add a warning right before the character starts talking about it.
They started to get better eventually. As the months passed by, the loss of Ella and Vivian still ached, but they didn't let it destroy them. Before they knew it, spring had arrived. The circus was alive as people traveled to see it, and they were performing often.
Eventually, they got an invite from someone they had least expected.
"You're telling me the mayor invited us to a party to perform?" Jackson said skeptically.
"It appears so," Phin mused, examining the formal-looking letter. "It's in a month, and he'll buy us train tickets if we agree to come."
"Not just that," Phillip said, pulling the letter from Phin's hands. "But we're also guests at the party. We'll get to perform and then join in on the festivities."
"Should we go?" Lettie asked. No one, not even Rose and Jackson, said what they were thinking. Last time the circus was invited to a party, things hadn't gone so well. But that had been years ago, things had changed since then.
Phin took a small breath and answered, "That's up to each individual. If you're uncomfortable going, then that's fine. But if enough people decide to go then I think it would be a good opportunity."
Rose and Jackson exchanged a look, wondering how exactly this would turn out.
Eventually, the circus decided to go. Surprisingly, everyone decided to join the trip, even the people who were originally hesitant. After all, it was easier to take part in something so...unique when you knew there were people backing you up.
Rose and Jackson sat next to each other on the train, waiting in silence and watching the scenery pass by the window, blurring a bit at the speed. They knew the ride would take a few hours, but for now they were content to sit in comfortable silence.
Eventually, Jackson broke it.
"What do you think the mayor will be like?" he asked.
Rose turned away from the window to face him. That was one of the many things he had always liked about her, how she would nearly always give her full attention to someone when she was talking to them.
"I just hope he's accepting," she answered softly. Jackson nodded in agreement.
"Have you ever been to one of these parties?" he inquired. After all, she had been at the circus longer than him.
Rose shook her head.
"I never thought I would," she responded, and Jackson didn't have to ask why. He already knew.
"Well, turns out some things are far from impossible," he answered. Rose returned his smile, leaning back in her chair.
If anyone looked back at the two again during the train ride, they would see Rose's head resting on Jackson's shoulder as his arm wrapped around her and held her close. And as the world sped by, everything stood still inside their peaceful moment.
The ride ended all too soon, and they were entering the mayor's house before they knew it. Rose was a bit too distracted to take in her surroundings, and she barely processed Phin having a maid leading them to where they would be performing.
All sorts of anxious thoughts welled in her head, and it was only due to years of living in the orphanage and on the streets that she didn't fidget or outwardly show her feelings.
Jackson lightly nudged her side, giving her an inquiring look, and she mustered a small grin. It was the most affection they could show in public, but even with the small gestures she knew he wasn't convinced. But he wouldn't pry much, he would wait for her to talk.
The rest of the day was a blur, and before she knew it they were performing. She tried not to think of it as a special performance, and once she was out there it was easy. Like always, the world faded as she got lost in her movements and the music swelling around her. The applause didn't shatter even the glass bubble that seemed to encase her, and she bowed with a smile.
And then it was the finale, which she and Jackson had been added into, performing their falling trick at the end of the song, posing dramatically as the lights went out. They rushed upstairs, changing to their formal clothes for the actual party.
Rose was dressed in the dress from Anne and Phillip's wedding, and the white lacy sleeves Anne had added for the purpose of the party were feeling a bit odd. But, as she looked in the mirror, she couldn't deny that she looked oddly...pretty like this. The thought brought a small smile to her face.
There was a knock on the door of the bedroom she was changing in, and she opened it to see Jackson. He was wearing the only suit he owned, but as usual the sight managed to make her breathe momentarily catch in her throat. Only now she understood why that was, and it seemed to give the tiny action a whole new meaning.
"You look beautiful," he complimented, and she could tell he was being genuine.
"And you're looking rather handsome," she said with a small, mysterious smile. "Is everyone downstairs already?"
"Yes, I think we're the last ones," he extended his arm. "Are you ready?"
"Always am."
Once they arrived at the entrance of the party, Rose disconnected her arm from Jackson's. They walked in, side by side, and hardly anybody turned to look at them.
Again, Rose mainly zoned out. Most people didn't come to talk to her, so she hung back, exchanging jokes with some of the others from the circus and eating some of the wonderful food. She couldn't let it go to waste, after all.
But eventually she found herself inching closer and closer to the door that would lead her to the gardens outside. No one noticed as she slipped out and into the night. The air was sharp and cold, and felt especially refreshing after the slightly stuffy atmosphere inside the house.
She walked for a bit, out of sight of any windows, and sat down on a bench.
Eventually she heard the sound of footsteps behind her and turned, an involuntary smile finding its way on her face when she saw Jackson.
"Hey," he asked. "Do you mind having company?"
"Not at all," she said, moving so he could sit next to her. "Was it too much for you too?"
He gave a noncommittal shrug.
"Actually, I noticed something was up with you earlier. You've been disjointed all night, did something happen?" he asked, reaching out to gently place his hand over her's.
Rose sighed, leaning a bit into the touch. Her eyes landed on the sky. The stars were bright, shining and casting spots of light in the darkness.
"I guess it's just hitting me now how much everything has changed," she admitted. Jackson stayed quiet, sensing that she had more to say.
(TW: Conversation about past suicide attempt, nothing graphic)
"Did you know I tried to kill myself once?" she whispered, her eyes still glued to the sky. Jackson froze next to her, his hand tightening ever so slightly on her's. "I don't remember exactly how old I was, it was a bit before the fire. I just found a bit of rope and thought, Hey, it's not like you have a purpose or any reason to stay. And no one would care or notice anyways. A girl found me as I was about to slip the noose over my head. I thought she may have been my friend. I guess I was wrong, since she left after the fire. I can't really blame her, we were just kids after all."
(Conversation is over)
She laughed bitterly. "We never got a chance to be just kids, did we? Neither of us. You with your sister, me with the orphanage."
Now she turned to face him, finding that his eyes had been trained on her the entire time. The tears in her eyes shone in the moonlight, but she was smiling. Really smiling.
"Still, we found ourselves. Here, at the circus. And, while I do wish it had happened differently, I don't think I would trade what we have now for anything."
Their fingers had become intertwined during the conversation, and Jackson was holding both of her hands in his.
"I'm glad you're still here," Jackson whispered, tears in his eyes as well. "Rose, you matter to me. A lot. You're my best friend, and I don't know what I would do if I didn't have you. Everything about you, from the smile you have, as if you know something no one else does, to your confidence and determination and fascination with so many things, is completely beautiful."
"I care about you too. Sorry I'm not good with words the way you are."
"You don't have to be."
She never did, did she? Around him, around everyone, she never had to be more than herself, Rose.
They had been slowly leaning closer to each other as they talked, and there was only a few inches between their faces now.
"Are you okay with this?" Jackson asked, his voice barely a whisper, as though by raising it he would shatter time itself. His eyes searched Rose's face for any signs of hesitation.
Instead of answering, she closed the space between them, pressing her lips to his. The kiss was soft, gentle, full of millions of already spoken words that they had always been too scared to turn into actions.
When they moved away, they held that position, their foreheads resting against each other, for a few more moments. Then they pulled back and Rose leaned into Jackson's embrace, his arms wrapping around her.
They sat like that for what could have been hours, talking about everything and anything that crossed their minds. And even when they reentered the party, they didn't leave the other's side again.
A few days later, Rose and Jackson were in Rose's room (which had practically become their shared room ages ago, and hadn't changed even now) when Anne and Phillip called them downstairs.
"What's happening?" Rose asked, immediately leaning into Jackson's side once they were on the couch. They hadn't had to say anything after the night in the garden, Anne and Phillip immediately saw something had changed. One glance between family members was all it took for them to understand. No new rules were made, they trusted their kids. Still, they would definitely start teasing them about it soon.
"Well, we have an important announcement," Phillip said, giving Anne a smile.
"I'm pregnant!" she announced, practically vibrating with joy.
It took a moment for the words to sink in, but then Jackson exclaimed, "Really?!"
At the married couple's nod of affirmation, Rose practically squealed, "I'm going to be a sister!" and threw herself into her parents' arms. Jackson joined them soon, and they were a huge pile of laughter and questions and joy.
And as Rose exchanged hugs with everyone at the circus the next day, all of them keen on congratulating the four- soon to be five -she found herself smiling widely as she remembered once again that she had a family. And despite being reminded of that fact nearly every day, it still never failed to bring a smile to her face.
BIG NEWS: This is the second-to-last chapter of Daughter of Difference. The final chapter will hopefully be done soon, and it will finally wrap up this story.
Until then, I hope you enjoyed this chapter!
-Creator of Magic