Summary: Natsu scratches Lucy's back and she returns the favour meanwhile Gray and Erza have dirty minds….

Pairings: Natsu/Lucy, Natsu/Happy/Lucy friendship, and Gray/Erza friendship.

Author's Note: OH MY GOD! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! SOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH FOR THE SIX THOUSAND AND ODD REVIEWS! YOU HAVE HELPED ME SUCCEED IN ONE OF MY NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS! THANK YOU!

The quietness of Lucy's apartment was immediately disturbed when the door slammed open and Lucy rushed in, her shoulders flinching every couple seconds as she squirmed. Natsu and Happy were straight behind her though Natsu hovered by the door to rub his back against it.

"Oh my God!" Lucy groaned as she fidgeted desperately. "I am so itchy!"

"So am I!" Natsu whined.

"Me too!"

"This is your fault!" Lucy glared at Natsu. "If you hadn't provoked that tree creature he wouldn't have thrown us in that patch of poison ivy!"

"How was I supposed to know he wouldn't like my tree jokes?!"

"Probably," Lucy snarled as she danced on the spot, "because you're not funny! Urgh!" she screamed as she tried desperately to reach for a very itchy spot in the corner of her shoulder blades. "Why does it have to be ours backs?! Why couldn't we have landed on our fronts?!"

"Come here," Natsu growled, "I'll do it."

Lucy met his eyes and flushed at the rather intense look she saw in it. It was something akin to how he looked at battle but more…..lustful. "D-d-do what?" she stuttered.

"Scratch your back, of course!" Natsu said cheerfully. "What did you think I meant, silly?" he asked. Lucy shook her head in reply, she didn't want to admit that her mind strayed somewhere very naughty ever so briefly. Natsu must have thought she meant no because he immediately draped an arm round her shoulders and stared down her beseechingly. "Come on, Luce," he whined persuasively, "I'll scratch your back," for a brief moment his fingers danced over an itchy spot and she gasped, and leaned into the touch ever slightly, "and then you can scratch mine."

There was a moment where their eyes locked onto one another and Lucy couldn't help but shiver at the dark look in his eyes and privately wondered if there wasn't a double entendre or two in what he just said.

"What about me?!"

Happy was ignored as Lucy couldn't quite tear her eyes away from Natsu. She wasn't quite sure what to say when suddenly her back flared up with a prickly, itchy, sensation all over and she lost all patience. "Oh all right!" Lucy threw her hands up in the air. "I'm so itchy right now that I'd be stupid to not take up your offer."

"Yosh!" Natsu pumped a fist in the air. "You first then, sit on the bed."

Lucy did so and Natsu jumped on behind her which caused her to bounce several times. "Natsu!" she hissed. "One of these days you're going to break the spr-ooooooooooh!" Natsu scratched a particular itchy patch in the middle of her shoulder blades, instantly cutting her off as her eyes rolled back in pleasure and she leaned into his touch. "Yes!" she groaned. "Right there."

"Anywhere else?" he murmured against her ear.

Lucy shuddered at the feel of his hot breath. "A little further down," she replied huskily. "Oooooooooooooooh, yes, yes, right there!" his fingers began to dance all over her back as she moaned and groaned at the relief they provided. "More!" she moaned. "More! Yes, that's it! Right there! Oh! Oh! God yes!"

She flopped back into Natsu's arms as her back finally felt less itchy. She stared up at Natsu's flushed face and blushed in reply as she just realised what their position would look like, and, just how exactly she would have sounded.

She immediately leaped out of his arms as if he had burned her.

(Well he sort of was, Natsu was permanently hot, but she had gotten used to that.)

"I believe you said I had to scratch your back!" she squeaked. "It's only fair, right?"

"Yes, yes," Natsu muttered as his back flinched in an attempt to get rid of the itch. "Hold on," he said as he pulled off his vest, "There," he said satisfied, "just keep scraping your nails up and down. "

"All right," Lucy said bemused as she clambered round the bed so she could sit behind Natsu. Annoyingly her bed squeaked loudly – Natsu must have broken a spring! She growled quietly to herself. "Just tell me when to stop."

She scraped her nails down Natsu's back and he groaned in reply. Slowly, she went up and down as she dug her nails in lightly. "Harder!" Natsu growled, she obeyed and was instantly rewarded with a groan. "Faster! Harder! Faster!"

Lucy's wrists began to ache as she tried to keep up with Natsu's ridiculously demands to scratch his back, he wanted it hard and fast, and was never satisfied, in the mean time she was beginning to get itchy on her back again.

Damn poison ivy!

"YES! YES!" Natsu bellowed. "GOD YES!"

Lucy decided that meant she was free to stop and instantly did so before things got any weirder (thank God there was no one nearby, goodness knows what they would have thought with Natsu's shouts). Natsu panted as he turned round and grinned. "Thanks Luce," he said happily, "you're the best."

"WHAT ABOUT ME?!" Both Natsu and Lucy jumped out of their skins as Happy suddenly flew between them. "I HAVE AN ITCH TOO! DO ME! DO ME! DO ME, LUCY! AND I'LL DO YOU!"

At this point he let his claws show and Lucy took one look at the shiny, sharp, and definitely dangerous, claws, before she replied;

"Hell no!"

Happy spent the rest of the afternoon crying at how mean and nasty Lucy was as Natsu scratched circles in his back.

It took five fishes to finally shut the damn cat up.

FTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFT

Gray and Erza had heard from the town gossip that Lucy, Natsu, and Happy were home. Determined to go on a dangerous mission that paid well (and also to see if their friends were all right) they immediately went over to Lucy's apartment in order to recruit them for another job.

That was when they heard it.

Lucy's orgasmic moan, and then her very vocal encouragement before she finally reached her climax. The entire time both Gray and Erza found it incredibly difficult to move as they froze with mortification, their cheeks burned, and blood began to trickle out of their nose as their imaginations decided to torment them with horribly detailed images.

"Is Lucy…..wanking?" Gray finally croaked.

"I-I-I- we should leave!" Erza stammered, too flustered to speak properly.

"Yeah," Gray mumbled, "before we hear anything else."

Too late. They heard the bed springs creak and then suddenly it was Natsu who was being incredibly vocal.

"Oh my God!"

"I can't believe it!"

"Neither can I!"

"Natsu and Lucy!"

"Natsu and Lucy!"

"How can they be a couple, and not tell us?" Erza groused, "We should have been told. We're a team. We're supposed to share everything in order to strengthen our bond."

"That's what bothers you?!" Gray cried out in disbelief. "The fact that they didn't tell you. Not the fact that Natsu knows what sex is and has been doing it for God knows how long, and could be reproducing right now. We might be faced with an army of flaming idiots!"

"….oh dear," Erza said faintly, unsure how to handle that situation. They could hardly chop down babies, no matter how many of them spit out fireballs. "Should we stop them?"

"I think they've already stopped," Gray said noticing the silence, "we can knock and-"

"WHAT ABOUT ME?!" Both Gray and Erza jumped at the sound of Happy's voice. Happy had been there the whole time?! They thought wildly. That poor, traumatised, cat…. "I HAVE AN ITCH TOO! DO ME! DO ME! DO ME, LUCY! AND I'LL DO YOU!"

Both Erza and Gray lost their souls at that. "Oh…..my…." Erza's lips barely formed the whispered words, "…..God."

"On second thoughts," Gray said blankly, "I think I'll go and drown myself in some bleach."

"And I'm," Erza said firmly, finally finding her voice, "am going to call an animal protection society."