Summary: Inspired by a line from Blackadder II, Natsu makes Lucy promise something….she instantly breaks it.

Pairings: Natsu/Lucy.

YouTube Prompt: A tribute to all couples to 'The Shoop Shoop Song (It's In His Kiss) By Cher.

"What?" Lucy snapped irritably. "What is it? You're staring at me weirdly."

"You didn't promise," Natsu pouted.

Lucy rolled her eyes at his childishness. "It was implied," she said, "we agreed if we were going to be a couple, you had to stop sneaking in, and actually ask, and I would stop over-reacting."

"I want a promise," Natsu insisted, "that you will never Lucy Kick me again. That the one earlier today was the last one ever."

"Do you really need to hear me say the words?"

"Yep," Natsu nodded, "I know you. Once you make that verbal oath you will keep it your death, I trust that you will keep your word."

"Oh all right!" Lucy said with exasperation, though she was rather pleased that he trusted her word so much and had to hide a smile from him, "I promise that the Lucy Kick you received this morning was the last one ever. Absolutely the last. Final. Full stop. Never again. Cross my heart and hope to die."

"NO!" Natsu bellowed making Lucy jump. He reached out and grabbed Lucy by the shoulders and shook her hard. "Not hope to die! Never say hope to die!" he snarled fiercely. "You should never hope to die."

Lucy softened immediately. She knew exactly why Natsu would have such a violent reaction to those words and could never begrudge him for shaking her. "Okay, not hope to die," she murmured reassuringly as she cupped his cheek, "what would you suggest."

"Huh?"

Lucy bit her lip so she wouldn't laugh at the clueless expression on her boyfriend's face. "You want this promise and you don't want the vowed consequences if I break the promise," she said, "so you should pick the consequences if I was ever to break the promise."

Natsu's eyes widened with realisation. "OH!" he said loudly. "Oh! I get it now. Give me some paper and a pen."

"Magic word?"

"I thought you said you didn't want to me have fireballs in your apartment anymore?"

Lucy's eye twitched as she decided it really wasn't worth teaching Natsu manners not if the consequences was her apartment going up in flames. So instead she just handed Natsu a piece of paper and a pen which he immediately started to scribble on, pausing to frown in thought before he smirked with delight, and continued. "Done!" he said triumphantly. "Here you go!" he handed her the paper. "Read that out and we're solid."

"All right then," Lucy agreed, "I promise that the Lucy Kick you received this morning was the last one ever. Absolutely the last. Final. Full stop. Never again. Cross my heart and hope to be spanked until my bottom goes purple – NATSU!" she shrieked.

"What?" Natsu's falsely innocent voice was completely betrayed by his evil smirk. "That way we both can have some fun."

"Y-y-y-you PERVERT!" Lucy shrieked, her cheeks bright red, "LIKE HELL I WOULD LET YOU SPANK ME. LUCY KICK!"

Natsu, who seemed prepared for this, grabbed her ankle and grinned. "Ha!" he crowed delightedly. "You broke your promise! This means I get to spank you!"

"What?!" Lucy squealed. "Natsu, no! Don't you d-EEK!"

Happy, having successfully finished eating all of Lucy's fish, contently flew back into the main room of Lucy's apartment to find Lucy sprawled out on Natsu's lap as the Dragon Slayer repeatedly slapped her bare bottom….

"That's it!" he muttered disgruntledly as he flew straight back into the kitchen and out through the window. "I'm going to find some new friends who aren't all weird and kinky with each other."