Summary: Sort of sequel to Wanted! A Cat, Any Cat. Gajeel goes to the first of his court mandated therapy sessions

Pairings: Implied Gajeel/Levy, implied Gajeel/Natsu, implied Gajeel/Jet/Droy, implied Gajeel/Cats, and Gajeel/Erza friendship.

Author's Note: thank you so much for giving me over SIXTY ONE HUNDRED REVIEWS! Hope you enjoy this latest bit of insanity.

Gajeel scowled at the door, he couldn't believe he had to do this, that the Council ordered it for him, that Master agreed, and that his so-called guild had literally dragged him to this.

And no, he was not kidding, Erza stood right beside him, hand on sword, just in case he chose to run off instead of going in and doing his therapy session.

Yeah, you heard that right. His therapy session.

God, you take in a bunch of cats and suddenly you're considered a troubled youth and need therapy.

("That's because you didn't take in a bunch of cats," The Shrimp scowled, "it's because you kidnapped all the cats in the town."

"Same difference," he mumbled.)

"Gajeel Redfox?" the secretary called out gently. Gajeel remained where he was, arms crossed, and glaring at the floor, "Gajeel Redfox?" the secretary tried again. Gajeel sat still, if he kept silent maybe they won't realise he is here and –

Erza immediately shoved him out of his chair, he staggered across the reception room and almost collided into the desk. "Here!" he growled.

The secretary swallowed and tried to smile brightly. "Good morning, Mr Redfox," she said politely, though there was a tremor of terror in her voice, "the doctor will now see you."

"Thanks," he grunted.

He banged the door open, slammed it, and threw himself on the sofa, all the while he scowled at his therapist. He was boring looking thing with nothing at all interesting about him, and Gajeel suspected he wasn't going to recognise the guy the next time they see each other because he was that boring looking.

"Ah, Gajeel Redfox," the therapist pushed his glasses up his nose, "yes, yes, I believe you are here at the Council Mandate."

"Hmmph."

"Very well," the therapist said pleasantly, "shall we begin with why you are here?"

"Nah," Gajeel shook his head, "I've been through this before. I know exactly what happens, I tell you, you ask probing questions to try and add motivation and reason, then you say I have anger issues and need to work through my aggression with something creative, and then in our next session I sing you a song that I spent all week working on. I've been through this crap before, and therefore I thought I cut through the chase and do the song now."

He pulled out his guitar and was preparing to sing when the therapist suddenly interrupted. "Oh yes," he said as he flipped through a file, "it says here you went through some Council mandated sessions after your guild Phantom Lord was disbanded because you – Good Lord, you crucified a girl and her two friends to a tree?!"

"I ain't proud of it," Gajeel grumbled, "they – okay she, her two friends are too annoying – didn't deserve it. It's going to be something I regret all my life."

The therapist didn't say anything for a moment as he read through Gajeel's files (shouldn't he thought of that before Gajeel came for his session?). "Hmmm…..did you kidnap the cats because you were trying to fill the void that your parents and Dragon Parent left when they abandoned you?"

"What?!" Gajeel squawked. "Are you even fucking allowed to ask me that?! Hell no! I wanted a cat because Salamander and the girl has one, I can't be the only Dragon Slayer without a cat."

"I see," the therapist scribbled something and Gajeel's eye twitched. He was rather certain the therapist saw nothing. "Have you ever been affectionate with someone? Have you received affection from another person?"

Gajeel's eye twitched again. "What the fuck has that got to do with anything?"

"I cannot help but feel your previous actions had been a cry for help," the therapist explained, "having gone through your…..extensive file, I have noted you always acted out from a young age, your entire motivation for your part in Phantom Lord's attack on Fairy Tail had been to get Natsu Dragneel's attention, and now you desire, more than anything, to have a fluffy pet to cuddle."

"I don't want a fluffy pet to cuddle!" Gajeel protested while secretly he thought; fuck! Does everyone know?! "I just want a partner who is super cool."

"And that is the entire cat population of Magnolia, is it?"

"….Shut up."

"How do you feel about Levy McGarden?"

"Wait, what?" Gajeel blinked. "What the fuck does that have to do with cats?!"

The therapist smiled. "You'd be surprised," he said in an infuriatingly enigmatic voice. "Please answer the question. Do you like her? Find her attractive?"

"That's hardly any of your fucking business!" Gajeel flushed. "The Shrimp is the Shrimp, sure she's kinda a cute and nice but that doesn't fucking mean anything!"

"It doesn't?" the therapist tilted his head. "You did, after all, nail her to a tree, and marked her with your mark. If that wasn't symbolic I don't know what."

"Get your head out of the gutter!" Gajeel snarled. "I also nailed two guys to the tree. It means nothing!"

"Oh I don't know, you had such a fixation of Natsu Dragneel-"

"What the fuck are you trying to imply?!" Gajeel shouted. "Me and Salamander? Me and Shrimp? Me and those two annoying morons? Are you going to suggest I only took the cats in so I could also nail them?"

"Did you?!" the therapist asked looking ill at the thought.

"Fuck no!" Gajeel snapped. "I maybe a violent monster but that's something I've been working on since I joined Fairy Tail, I'm not some sicko that gets off of nailing people to trees and screwing with animals. What kind of person do you think I am?!"

"Well…."

"Think you answer very carefully," Gajeel warned softly, "because if it is the wrong one I will beat the crap out of you with something heavy."

The therapist swallowed and glanced down at Gajeel's guitar. "But surely you won't want to ruin your lovely instrument, would you?" he asked nervously.

"Fuck no!" Gajeel barked. The therapist sighed in relief and almost relaxed when Gajeel suddenly smirked and transformed his arm into a bar of iron. "Why would I when I can simply use this instead?" Gajeel smirked evilly.

The therapist screamed shrilly and then chose to jump out of the window.

At the sound of glass shattering, Erza kicked the door down and had her sword out at the ready. "What happened?" she cried out. "You didn't break anything did you? Master was very explicit about you not breaking anything."

"'Course I didn't break anything," Gajeel scoffed, "my therapist just decided to throw himself out of the window, that's all."

"Oh, I see," Erza said disappointedly as she sheathed her sword, "that used to happen all the time when one of us was in therapy."

Gajeel raised an eyebrow. "You've been to therapy?"

"Oh yes," Erza said cheerfully, "we've all been to Court Mandated therapy before, well not Lucy or Wendy, but give it time, I'm sure they will. We once had family therapy when we were kids. All three therapists had to be committed in a psychiatric ward after that." Gajeel sweat-dropped at that, not that Erza seemed to notice. "Why did you bring your guitar?" she asked curiously.

"Oh," Gajeel shrugged, "last time I had to do something creative to work out my aggression. I thought we might as well cut through the crap and get right to it this time."

"Understandable," Erza said, "last time I had anger management sessions they advised me to create something and I ended up taking knitting."

"Oh yeah?" Gajeel was insanely curious now. He really couldn't see the she-wolf of Fairy Tail, the most fearsome and terrifying warrior in probably of all of history as well as now, to knit. "How did that work out?"

"It was quite relaxing, I made a lovely jumper," Erza said in fond remembrance, "unfortunately I managed to knit stains of Natsu and Gray's blood into it…."

Fucking hell! And people thought Gajeel was the one that needed all the mental help he could get…..