I could feel 3 sets of eyes on me as I was unsuccessfully trying to shove ice cream through a syringe and into my mouth. I pushed way harder than was necessary and regretted it instantly. I was still too drugged up for my reflexes to stop the inevitable. Instead of getting it in the hole where I was missing 2 back teeth, it exploded in my cheek. A second later I was gagging and desperately reaching for a sick bag to let it drain back out. I could feel myself wanting to throw up, but the ton of anti nausea drugs stopped me from actually puking.

To say I was struggling with my new way of feeding myself for the next 6 weeks was an understatement. If it couldn't fit through a straw, it had to go through a syringe. If it couldn't fit through that, I couldn't eat it. Half melted ice cream wasn't in either of those categories. But I wanted something to make my stomach feel like it was getting a bit of solid food.

"I told you it was a bad idea and to let it melt first." Clint got the sick bag to me first. "Pull your cheek out, it helps."

I did as I was told, letting the now melted ice cream drain back out of my mouth. It was disgusting and my stomach rebelled heavily against me. Leaning over only made my ribs hurt even more, but at least I didn't throw up.

"Just drink your Ensure," Clint said, sounding slightly exasperated. "It won't kill you."

The vile tasting high calorie drink was definitely going to kill me. I was sure of it. I simply couldn't force myself to have another drop of it. However the Doctors at Landstuhl hospital, the medical centre adjacent to Ramstein base, wouldn't let me go home until I gained at least 2 pounds. I wanted to laugh in their faces when they said that. I should have been discharged a few days ago. But my 5 pound weight loss in a week and a half made the doctor's not very happy. I was dragging my heels on it a bit as well because Natasha wasn't due to be discharged until the end of this week. On Coulson's request, we'd been put in the same room. Now I was out of the worst part of my injuries, Jared was bringing Mom and Dad back and forth every day to see me. Clint and Jared were staying on base, only a short walk away. Coulson was back and forth as much as he could. But our fuck up of a mission kept him very busy trying to sort out how it went so wrong.

We were both very lucky our injuries weren't any worse. Natasha's gunshot wound, while it bled heavily, it was little more than a flesh wound that went straight through. It had missed everything, vital or not. Even Clint's gunshot wound for Yelena hadn't been that clean. Her biggest worry had been an infection and the blood loss, but now 2 weeks after the mission, she was nearly in the clear. Natasha was allowed to sit up and hobble to the bathroom and back. My jaw and ribs ached with every breath I took. Any bodily functions were a new form of torture. But we were alive and besides my broken bones and Natasha's very bruised body, relatively unscathed for what happened to us.

"It will," I mumbled back in my funny voice. My tongue was still swollen making anything more than a few words very hard to get out. Clint and Coulson were the only ones who could understand me clearly. I carried an iPad everywhere with me if I had to interact with anyone without either of them. At least this had made my learn to type a little faster.

"It won't." Clint's exasperation grew. "I lived off it for 6 weeks. You will not die from drinking Ensure."

I'm pretty sure putting up with Natasha and I was Clint's punishment for taking the Quinjet without permission. Once I was conscious enough, I got the full story. Clint was there when Coulson got the phone call about us missing the rendezvous point. It'd only been 45 minutes before Riley's old SEAL team found us. They'd been in the area on their own mission and picked up the transmission. Being the closest, they got to us first. Clint had been a bit vague about why there hadn't been a Quinjet available. But he simply went from Quinjet to Quinjet in the hanger until he found a technician scared enough of him not to question him taking it. It was by sheer luck that Quinjet was actually going to New York. No one questioned it until Clint was well over the Atlantic Ocean with my Mom and Jared. It took SHIELD nearly an hour to discover the Quinjet was off course and apparently Mom had given Air Traffic Control quite the earful so no one was game enough to make them turn around.

"You'll have to stay here without us," Jared said, looking as annoyed as Clint. "And catch a commercial flight home."

I grumbled, reaching for my iPad. What I wanted to say to Jared was going to be too long for me to slur out. Clint reached over and yanked the iPad out of my hands before I could start my snarky reply to Jared. Beside me, Natasha was hugging a pillow to her stomach, trying really hard not to laugh. I looked enviously at her now finished Jello cup. What I wouldn't give to have some of that right now.

"Either drink your melted ice cream or Ensure, its up to you." Clint pointed to both the items that were on the bedside table. "Or the nurses will start shoving that other vile stuff down your throat. Or even better, they'll give you that feeding tube they've been threatening."

I grumbled, but picked up the now melted ice cream, sticking a straw into it. When I was first allowed to have stuff through a straw, the nurses gave me something that was so vile I refused to touch it again. I'd been quite the pain in the ass about it too. It wasn't until the doctor's threatened me with a feeding tube I started somewhat cooperating. Actually, I'd been a bit of a pain in the ass about a lot of things since I was awake properly. For the first time after something going to shit, I wasn't hating myself and thinking I was a disappointment to my team. Right now, I was pissed. If I was sure I could get away with it, I'd be out of the hospital and trying to track down the assassin who did this to us.

When I was awake enough to describe the person to Jared and Clint, both of them scoffed at me and said I must have hit my head harder than I thought. From what I'd told them, I was describing the ghost known as The Winter Soldier. He was a myth in the intelligence community. It wasn't until Natasha was awake and collaborated my story, they actually believed me. Not that it made an ounce of sense when I thought about it. Dr Malone was a SHIELD scientist and his work on nuclear fusion technology while ground breaking, wasn't enough to get him assassinated. Especially by someone who was considered to be a myth. Why did he kill Dr Malone and not Natasha and I? There were so many pieces of the puzzle that didn't fit in at all. But that one long word, compartmentalisation, that SHIELD loved so much kept the truth from us. The 4 of us could only speculate and grumble over it.

I tentatively sucked on the straw. The melted ice cream was an improvement on the Ensure, but it still tasted wrong. It was calories and thats what I needed at the moment. Jared's phone chimed as a text came through, making him glance down at the screen. He sighed and got to his feet.

"I'll be back soon with Mom," Jared said, tucking his phone back into his pocket. "She said she has something you might like."

"Yay." I brightened up immediately. Mom had been experimenting with foods to bring me. Some of the stuff she'd come up with had actually been really good. There was one particular deli in New York close to home that did an amazing potato and bacon chowder. Mom would buy some, take it home and pulverise it in a blender until there were no lumps and bring it back to me. She'd been bringing different soups and ice creams every time she visited. It made up for the crappy food being given to me by the hospital.

"Can you bring me back some ice cream too, please Jared?" Natasha asked, fluttering her eyelashes trying to look innocent. "Mint chocolate chip?"

"I am not a delivery boy," Jared grumbled, but there was no malice behind his tone. "But yes, do you want anything else?"

Natasha and I nearly had the contents of both our bedrooms in the hospital room. There was something very comforting about sleeping under your own blankets and pillow. Jared had been a very good sport about playing fetch for us.

"Besides a bottle of vodka? No, I'm good." Natasha was dying for a drink. So was I actually, but pain meds and alcohol really didn't mix. "Thank you."

The sweet smile on Natasha's face was almost sickening. Jared rolled his eyes, but he was still smiling as he teleported away. No sooner had he left, there was a knock on the door. My eyebrows shot up in surprise at seeing who it was.

"Hi," Maning came through the door with a teddy bear and bouquet of flowers. "Am I interrupting anything?"

"Not at all," Natasha answered for me. "So good to see you Maning."

"Hi," I managed to get out, putting on a small smile that didn't hurt my face. "Good to see you."

"The boys put these together for both of you, you can fight over who gets the teddy bear," Maning's tone was teasing, as he handed me both the items. The teddy bear was in a flight suit and had a little Air Force badge on it. I immediately handed Natasha the flowers and kept the bear.

"Thanks." My smile grew a little wider, despite it hurting. It was a very cute teddy bear.

"If you're feeling up to it, did you want to come outside for a bit Kari?" Maning asked. "If you 2 can spare her."

"Please, take her away." Clint was already reaching over to grab my coat out of the closet. "Her mood might improve if she's out of the room. You can even take her home if you really want. The way she growls at the moment makes her a good guard dog."

I glared at Clint, snatching my coat out of his hands. Sure, I was grumbly at the moment but I didn't think I was being that bad. Fortunately for me, Maning was polite enough to contain his laughter. It probably would do me the world of good to get out of the room for an hour. Once we were out of the room, Maning steered me through the halls and we came out one of the side entrances and into a small garden. It wasn't much, but the cold, fresh air was invigorating. Some of the flowers were still clinging to life, despite the cold autumn air. It was a nice change from the 4 white walls I'd been staring.

"Good to see you a bit more coherent this time," Maning's teased me, breaking the silence as we both sat down. "Coulson had a good laugh at what you said to me when you were drugged up."

I gave Maning a questioning look. I couldn't remember what I'd exactly said. It was something about the Quinjet and truth serum. I think. I could barely remember Maning actually finding Natasha and I. Everything was a blurred mess in my head.

"You told me to tell Coulson he wasn't allowed to be mad at you for having sex in the Quinjet with Riley," Maning informed me with a chuckle. "Because it was Barton who stole the truth serum."

"Oh god." If my face didn't hurt so much, I'd be hiding behind my hands right now. I could feel a hot blush creeping up my neck. I had no memory of that at all. At least Coulson and Maning found my drugged up ramblings amusing.

"So, how are you holding up?" The humour was short lived. Maning's face turned serious as he looked at me.

"Angry." That one short word was easy to get out and summed up all of my current feelings. I pointed to my bruised and aching face. "Sore."

"Trust me, it looks better than it first did," Maning said dryly, but gave me a sympathetic smile. "You both gave us one hell of a fright finding you like that. I have no idea how you got off that cliff."

"Me either." I should have grabbed my iPad before coming out. My jaw was already starting to ache from the little bit of speaking I was doing. "One foot in front of the other, I think."

"You're a lot tougher than you look, I'll give you that." Maning gaze ran over my body as if he was inspecting me for further damage.

It made me feel a little self conscious. My face was turning shades of green and yellow, instead of the nasty purple bruise that it was. I was lucky I'd only lost 2 back teeth, both which could be repaired when my jaw was unwired. But it still didn't make me feel any better about myself. I looked like shit. I suppose it could have bee worse. The surgeons were able to fix my jaw by going through the inside of my mouth. I still had the stitches in. They were annoying and scratchy, but at least it wasn't my face.

"I have something for you." Maning's next words were unexpected, as he reached into his pocket. "I meant to give it to you after Riley's funeral, but I didn't have any way to contact you."

Riley's funeral felt like a lifetime ago instead of 7 months. I wonder what he would have done if he as still here and I'd gotten hurt. No doubt he would have been on that Quinjet with Clint, probably urging him to break every single airspeed rule that existed. The thought brought a sad smile to my face. I missed him so much.

Maning handed me a business card with a set of coordinates on the back.

"When Riley joined SHIELD he wanted somewhere that he could go completely off the grid if he needed," Maning explained. "It's a log cabin I've owned for years in the middle of nowhere in Montana. It snows for 9 months of the year and rains for the rest of them. It's on a few thousand acres of mountain range. Only Riley, my wife and I know about it. But now its yours to use if you ever need it."

I gave Maning a questioning look as I read the coordinates over a few times. This was a bit unexpected.

"Look, I know you can't say much but you only have to listen right now." Maning pursed his lips, considering his words. "I know SHIELD has its secrets and I'm not its biggest fan. But your mission was really off. We were tracking a terrorist cell, who were tracking your scientist. Its how we got to you so quickly. We found all of them dead about 10 miles from your position."

Now that got my attention.

"Did you tell Coulson?" I managed to mumble out. Fortunately Maning understood me perfectly well as he nodded.

"I did," Maning confirmed with a nod. "Unfortunately, government agencies don't like speaking to each other. Its all out of my hands now. But something stinks about what happened. I just wanted to make sure you had somewhere safe to go if you needed it."

It was a touching gesture. I barely knew Maning, but Riley spoke of him very highly. His SEAL friends were a tight knit family. It wasn't a big surprise to know Riley kept some of his secrets away from SHIELD. Not long after Pripyat, Natasha had given me the details of where Riley had kept some money and fake ID hidden away as well. If I ever needed to disappear, I definitely had the means to now. It was a tempting thought. I wouldn't ever be brave enough to carry through with it. But at least I knew I could get to safety if anything terrible ever happened.

"Thank you." I couldn't think of anything else to say. It felt insignificant for someone who barely knew me to be looking out for me. Even months after his death, Riley was still changing my life for the better.

"You're a good kid." Maning smiled, reaching over to pat my knee. "My daughter wants to be a fighter pilot. When I got home from Afghanistan I told her all about you. You're her new hero."

That brought a smile to my face. A real one for the first time in ages. It was a silly thing to make me smile. But I remembered being 16 and wanting to be a fighter pilot as well. Female fighter pilots were rare enough that I knew every single one of them. I had a lot of hero worship for those women before I finally made it myself.

"How old is she?" I asked.

"16." Maning pulled out his phone, scrolling through the screen before turning it to face me. "My son is 14 and wants to be a chef. It's a mixed house."

The photo showed Maning with 2 children and a woman who I assumed was his wife. He had a beautiful family.

"I'm heading home in 2 hours, but my number and email is on that card if you ever need someone to talk to," Maning said as he stood up, putting his phone away. "We're stationed in Little Creek and I live in Norfolk, so it's only a few hours away if you want to come for a visit. My daughter would be very excited to meet you."

"I'll keep it in mind," I said, tucking the business card into the pocket of my own jacket. I gave Maning another smile. "Thanks for saving us."

If Maning hadn't found us for another few hours, it could have been a different scenario right now. Natasha could have died from blood loss, despite the bullet missing anything vital. I wouldn't have died, but it would be a much longer recovery than I was currently facing.

"I'm sure you'll repay the favour one day," Maning chuckled again. "Don't be a stranger. If SHIELD pisses you off too much, DEVGRU Black Squadron take women. They'd love to have someone of your abilities in their ranks."

"Ew, Navy." I teased, wrinkling my nose as much as I could. Maning at least caught meaning of my tease, despite the small amount of words, and laughed.

"Typical Air Force, can't expect them to go to war unless it's 9 to 5, Monday to Friday," Maning teased back. He smiled at me again, looking sad. "You'll be all right. Riley would be very proud of you. Take care of yourself, Kari."

With another smile, Maning turned and left. I watched his retreating back with mixed feelings. While the visit and the safe house off SHIELD's radar was a touching gesture, it felt like there was so much more to it. I sighed heavily, reaching up to carefully rub my eyes. Maybe the visit was nothing more than what it seemed. I was on so many painkillers still, my brain wasn't working properly. I stayed in the garden until it was too cold for me to bear any longer. A bit of fresh air did wonders for my mood. It was a long walk back to my room and I was dragging my feet by the time I got back. The little bit of freedom in the garden was making the 4 walls very unappealing to go back to.

When I got back to the room, both Mom and Dad were there, along with Jared, Clint and Natasha. Mom proudly held up the now familiar takeaway container with a triumphant grin.

"I think we have a winner."

The pleased looked on Mom's face made me laugh as much as I could through my wired jaw. It was more like a muted wheeze, but it made Mom smile even more. Whatever it was smelt amazing. Natasha was busy shovelling something similar smelling into her mouth, barely pausing to breathe.

"And I have your new phone." Mom pointed to a cardboard box on the chair. "Food first though."

The soup was the best one Mom had gotten yet. It didn't take me long to slurp the seafood chowder down and I was feeling completely satisfied for the first time in a week. My parents stayed for a few hours, while I appreciated the company I couldn't stop looking at my phone. I was dying to get my new phone set up and see if Greg had said anything. It was one of the things that kept replaying over and over in my head during the times when I couldn't sleep.

The second Natasha and I were left alone, I made a beeline for the box.

"I'm impressed you lasted that long," Natasha said, looking over to me. "Hurry up and turn it on. I want to see what he says."

I plugged the phone into the charger and pressed the on button, impatiently waiting for it to boot up. The iPhone did its usual start up nonsense as I signed in again. The standard background came on as it booted up. A second later, the phone started to vibrate as messages started coming through. I opened the messages and scanned for Greg's name. There wasn't one. The sting of rejection came back to slap me in the face 10 fold. I stared at my phone screen, trying to blink away the sudden moisture gathering in my eyes. I swallowed back the lump that appeared in my throat as the text messages continued to gather.

"He's an asshole and you deserve better," Natasha's firm voice broke through my thoughts.

I blinked rapidly a few times before I could look up. My shoulders slumped as I put my phone down. It shouldn't hurt this much, but it really did. For once in my life I hadn't second guessed what I was doing, I acted on what felt right at that moment. How could I have gotten it so wrong?

"Stop beating yourself up and come and give me a hug." Natasha opened up her arms. "Gently. If I pop these stitches we'll be stuck here for another week and I'll kill you for that."

I gave a very weak laugh and did as I was told. It was an awkward hug, neither of us wants to squeeze too hard because of our injuries. It was nearly time for the nightly painkillers, so no doubt Natasha was feeling as pained as I currently was.

"Did Gareth send you anything?" Natasha asked as we pulled away from our hug. I shrugged, mostly with one shoulder because my ribs were aching. I went back to my phone and pulled up the text messages. There were actually a few from Gareth, I scrolled back up through my phone and started on the oldest ones first.

Have fun on your mission. Don't break anything vital because I think you coming down here when you get home is a VERY good idea ;)

I'm not being clingy, I promise. But you did say a few days and it's been a few days…..sooooo everything all right?

That one was dated the day after our accident.

Ok, I'm guessing this has gone a bit longer. Damn your job sucks that you can't keep your phone on you.

I'm making up random things that you could be doing. My favourite is that you single handedly took down some really bad guys in a skin tight suit. Okay, I lied. I was mostly thinking about you in skin tight clothes more than anything else.

That one made me snort in contained laughter. Natasha looked up at me in question and I flipped the phone around to show her.

"See, you don't need to feel like shit about Greg because you have someone else who is obviously interested," Natasha pointed out with a smile. "If you need 5 minutes alone with him, I'll disappear into the shower."

I laughed properly this time and shook my head. I was in way too much pain to even think about anything sexy at the moment. I kept reading the messages from Gareth.

So, now I'm starting to get proper worried about you. I kind of hope I've pissed you off, but none of your messages are coming up as read.

I tried calling and it went straight to voicemail. Please, send me a text or something.

After nothing from Greg, it was a nice feeling that someone beyond my work circle was worried about me.

Don't hate me. But I kind of asked Sharpe to get in touch with your handler because I was really starting to worry about you. I am VERY glad you're still alive. The rest of the injuries sound fucked though. How the hell did you manage to break your jaw? Get better soon. I will send a very gentle hug your way, so I don't break anything else on you.

The last message was from earlier today. It made me smile, even though my face was aching. It was sweet that he cared enough to get Sharpe to ring Coulson. I turned the phone around again and showed Natasha the last few text messages. Her eyes followed the screen for a minute before she broke out into a grin.

"You need to go ride that man until you can't walk properly," Natasha said bluntly, turning back to her own phone. Hers had come a few days earlier and she'd been getting non stop texts from Sam. "Give your ribs another 2 weeks and you should be good to go."

That sounded like it was coming from personal experience. I'd definitely take her advice on that matter. Gareth's stream of texts gave me a much needed ego boost. At least he gave a shit about me. I went straight to his message, it was mid morning back home. It would give him a nice surprise for the day.

Boo ;) Guess who finally got her new phone? Thanks for checking in on me even though I couldn't reply. If my face didn't hurt so much I'd give you a kiss for it. Long story about the jaw. I'm still working on the whole speaking thing otherwise I would have called. I'm in Germany, hoping to be home by the end of the week.

I sent the message before I could second guess myself. Natasha was busy with her own phone so I started to go through the rest of the messages. Most of them were 'Get Well' messages from the various STRIKE guys I knew. Laura threatened to kill both Natasha and I for getting hurt again. Evans sent me a video of Alexi telling me to come home soon and kissing the phone screen. It took me an hour and a half to get around to replying to everyone. I was nearly ready to put my phone down and go to sleep when a text from Gareth came through.

You're alive! Its good to hear from you. I'd ask how's Germany but I'm assuming you haven't had much time to do sight seeing. I'm crazy busy today but I snuck into the toilet to give myself a few minutes of privacy to send this. I'm glad you're okay and back online. I'll talk to you more later on.

The message made me smile some more. It was really nice to feel wanted. It helped take away the sting of Greg's rejection. I'd leave my reply until later on when I wasn't dead tired and aching. The timezone difference was going to be a pain in the ass. Natasha was gingerly reaching across to plug her own phone into the charger as I put mine up.

"Who?" I asked, taking a typing motion with my fingers.

"Sam mostly," Natasha caught onto my meaning right away. "Then I was trying to persuade Jared to bring over more ice cream. He said no. What did Maning want to talk to you about?"

I grunted, reaching over for my iPad. That conversation was going to be far too long to try and speak. Natasha waited patiently while I typed my answer out and handed the iPad over to her. Natasha read it, her face impassive as her eyes scanned over the lines.

"Riley made sure you were looked after, didn't he?" Natasha had a sad smile on her face when she finished reading. I gave her a wobbly smile and simply nodded. There weren't any other words I could say to that. From making sure I could get somewhere safe, to making sure I'd never have to worry about money again, Riley covered it all.

"We can go for a trip there and plant some of your cash and ID's if you want," Natasha continued. "It's a good idea to make sure your safe house has everything you need."

I nodded again. I thought I'd learnt so much in the last year and a bit, but there was still things coming along and surprising me.

"Here's hoping this road trip is less exciting," I said dryly, wincing as my jaw really started to ache. The laugh I got from Natasha was worth the pain. It chased away a lot of the demons and angriness that had been consuming me since I woke up. It was good to feel wanted and to laugh again.

"It's not the worst idea I've ever heard," Natasha pointed out, handing my phone back to me.

I couldn't stop my small noise of surprise at Natasha's easy acceptance. Mom had just sent me a text message suggesting Natasha and I head to Grams' ranch, instead of sticking around DC. I'd given in and said I'd go for Thanksgiving, so it wasn't entirely unexpected Natasha would get an invite as well. I'd shown Natasha the message expecting her to decline the invitation immediately. Instead, she surprised the hell out of me by somewhat agreeing with my Mom. But there was something in her face that didn't feel like she was being genuine with it though.

It was a few days after Maning's visit and we'd been given the all clear to be discharged this afternoon. I'd finally got a doctor with half a brain in his head, realising there was no way in hell I was going to gain 5 pounds. Mom had been keeping me well supplied with my new seafood chowder pulverised into a liquid form. So I was eating well enough, which was the new doctor's only concern.

"I'm going to be a pain in the ass hanging around Clint's place, especially with his in-laws coming over next week." Natasha picked up her bowl of breakfast cereal as she continued to speak. "I fucking hate Laura's mother. The woman is still convinced Clint and I are sleeping together."

The Wicked Witch of Kentucky was what Clint called his mother in law. Laura's parents bred racehorses and lived right in the heart of bluegrass country. Apparently they were quite successful too. Beyond a few casual mentions, Clint never spoke of them. I was only getting the full story about it now. Laura's parents hated Clint and always thought Laura could do better with her life than a lowly SHIELD agent. If only they knew how much of a legend Clint really was within SHIELD. It might change their tune. But from what Clint and Natasha had both told me about the in-laws, there was every chance it wouldn't either.

"It's a mad house," I warned Natasha, poking my porridge slurry with my straw. It wasn't the most appetising thing I'd ever eaten. But it was warm, kind of real food and I could easily suck it down with a straw.

"Like it isn't a mad house at Clint's?" Natasha said around her mouthful of cereal. She paused for a moment, to finish chewing and swallowing. "Besides, your Grams is a SHIELD legend. I'm honoured that considering my past, she'd even contemplate letting me anywhere near her house."

That made me pause mid sip. I never thought about Natasha's past or how people would have felt about her. I'd heard the stories of the old version of the Red Room Peggy Carter and Grams both encountered.

"Fury told me when I first joined that your Grams and Peggy Carter would probably both shoot him if they knew he was doing." Natasha absently poked her cereal, looking lost in the memory. "Hazel even came out to where I was first being held to make sure I was being serious, that I wasn't a spy sent by the Red Room. She scared me more than anyone ever had in my life."

Natasha admitting she was scared of something wasn't something you heard every day. It was odd though. To me Grams was my quick witted and sometimes sharped tongue grandmother. She spoiled me like any grandparent would a normal child. As painfully aware as I was about our family not being normal, my family dynamics were very normal. I got my ass spanked when I was a little shit. I got kisses and cuddles when I was a good girl. Grams read me bedtime stories and snuck me extra cookies after Dad said no more. There was never anything scary about Grams to me, but to other people I could see how terrifying she could be. Having your entire mind laid out before a total stranger able to pull your brain apart at whim. It wasn't a pleasant thought.

"It wasn't util 3 years later, she was doing a tour of the Triskelion with Peggy that I saw her again. All I got was a nod," Natasha said with a small sigh. "It was all I needed to know she trusted me. But being invited to her house is a little mind blowing. Despite the invitation, I don't know how welcome I would be."

"My parents have a seperate house," I slurred, reaching up to absently rub my face. The inside of my mouth was fucking itchy from the stitches finally dissolving. "If that helps."

The original house was still the one Grams lived in. It'd been renovated and updated over the years, but it was still the original 4 bedroom layout. Instead of expanding the original house over the years as the family expanded, Grams decided to simply build another house for each of her children. It ended up being like a mini town, Grams had been quite productive in her younger years. I had 3 Uncles and 2 Aunts. Hence the ever increasing horde of cousins I had. Grandpa had died when I was young, so the family who weren't involved in SHIELD helped run the ranch.

Natasha was silent as she pushed her cereal around the bowl. Her appetite seemingly vanished at the sudden change of heart about visiting. The dark circles under her eyes spoke more than words could. I'd be zonked out on painkillers last night so I didn't hear her wake up. But she looked like she hadn't been to sleep at all. I felt a stab of guilt for not being awake for Natasha when she needed me. I wondered why she'd suddenly changed her mind about coming with me. She said it herself that it wasn't a bad idea. So why didn't she want to come with me now?

"Nat?" I prompted her, watching her expression carefully. Something had been bothering her the last few days. But she wouldn't talk to any of us about it. Clint tried to prod into it and got a snarling response in Russian so fast I could barely understand it. She'd told Clint to fuck off and mind his own business, in some much stronger words.

Natasha shook her head, picking up another spoonful of cereal and shoving it into her mouth. It was a very clear indication she didn't want to talk about what was bothering her. Or about coming with me anymore. My heart fell at her sudden rejection. It was so unlike her. She usually told me everything. But right now she was closed off. It felt like I was talking to the Widow instead of Natasha.

"I'd be happy if you came with me." I said, my voice was still slow but my pronunciation was getting better. It wasn't a lie. It would be lonely despite the many people around me back on the ranch. Besides, hobbling around her own apartment wasn't going to do Natasha any favours either. I decided to press my luck a little and added. "Please?"

Natasha's face softened at my quiet, carefully formed words. She'd been chewing on the same mouthful of cereal for way longer than necessary. Whatever was going on in her head wasn't going to be fun to sort through. But she'd been there for me more times than I could count. It was about time I could repay the favour.

"Fine." Natasha swallowed her cereal, looking grouchy and defeated. "I am not cleaning up any cow shit though."

I smiled at my little triumph. The only time I'd ever picked up cow shit was to fling it at someone. There were plenty of other things we could do to get into mischief though. The ranch was set on a few thousand acres. We could disappear for a few days quite easily if we wanted to.

"We can go shoot petrol filled cans," I said, as casually as I could manage. I stuck the straw back in my porridge taking another sip. "We have a Dragunov in the armoury."

The Russian sniper rifle's name was so hard for me to pronounce, but it came out mostly legible. The gleam suddenly came back into Natasha's eye at the mention of it.

"Your Grams has an armoury?"

All of a sudden, I had Natasha back, smiling and looking very eager about our new plans. It made me smile a little more. This holiday season was going to be a lot more fun than previous years.

Authors Note

Short chapter. It might not seem like much, but there's a few important things in there for things much later on. I promised another chapter before the end of the month, so I hope everyone enjoys it. I won't update for another few weeks now because of University. So bear with me everyone. I'll do another update on my other story Shatter Me. But after that I'll be pretty quiet until late August.

Thank you all so much for your well wishes as well. I don't have answers just yet, but there is something there that's causing problems. But the doctors aren't quite sure what it is just yet. Only another week to go before I get some definite answers, so fingers crossed.

I want to thank you all again for your patience while everything has been all over the place with me. You're all amazing and I cherish every single reader I have. This is edging on 400 reviews now, something I only wished for in my wildest dreams. So thank you all for being part of this crazy journey.

Until next time.