TW: Anna and Hans have sex again, and it's not 100% consensual, but it's also not 100% non-consensual either. We know what Anna's feelings are while it's happening, but it's not super graphic or violent or anything, IMO, but it's more intense than the sex scene in chapter 5, and Anna's feelings are a little more intense. She also dissociates at times. It might be triggering for someone that has had a similar experience. I've italicized the section in case anyone wants to skip it.

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Anna put on the fancy underwear and bra Aunt Arianna insisted she get last time they went underwear shopping. The underwear were made of pretty green lace with a black lace trim and a tiny black bow in the front. They covered everything, but they were see-through. And the bra was black, but it had a lot of pretty and delicate lace. Anna had only tried the bra on twice (once in the store), and the underwear once. She loved the way they looked, and she felt so sexy and powerful when she wore them, and her hair looked even brighter against the black and green when she let it fall in front of her shoulders. Anna pulled them out from the back of the drawer to look at them from time to time, but she always felt a sharp pain in her belly when she thought about wearing them, so she always shoved them in the back. She fought against the feeling this time, because she knew how much Hans would want to see her like that. She had a lot to make up for and if she wanted him back, she was going to have to work hard for it. She ignored the nervous butterflies flapping in her belly, and steeled herself to finally remove the tags, until she saw the price, and then she was overcome by guilt. She hurriedly took them off and got a glimpse of her naked self in the mirror.

She wanted to be confident enough to look at her reflection but she was too ashamed to even give herself the chance to feel like that. Plus the thought of being naked anywhere other than the shower made her queasy. So she quickly found her everyday underwear, making sure to find a pair that didn't have any holes or stains, though not her nicest, and put them on, and then the same clothes she wore to school that day. As a compromise, she studied her face in the mirror, looking everywhere but her eyes, trying to find some other way to let Hans know she was taking this seriously. But any time she thought about putting on lip gloss, or doing something different with her hair, a gnawing pain in her stomach stopped her. Hans probably wouldn't know the difference anyway. He always said how much he liked that she was so "natural." It would have been a nice compliment except that Anna wanted to wear lip gloss and have a cute haircut and wear bangles and high heels like the other girls in school. She wasn't "natural" by choice, she was just too embarrassed for anyone to know she put any effort into it. Finally, she decided to brush her hair and wear it down.

Anna had been home for 45 minutes, and Hans still hadn't gotten there. She opened the door to see if he was just coming up to the house but he wasn't. She checked her phone to see if there was a text from him saying he was going to be late, but nothing. She wasn't sure how long sex would take, but she grew more anxious every minute knowing that her dad and brother would come home in a couple of hours. Finally, she typed out a text to ask him if he was still coming when the doorbell rang. Her whole body got warm and tingly. It wasn't a good feeling, but this was what she deserved.

Hans looked exactly the same as he had at school that day. Anna was relieved that she didn't do anything extra because she would have felt even worse if she had.

"Anna," he said right away. He had the contrite look that turned Anna on before. Only he didn't have anything to be sorry about this time either. Anna didn't know what to say to him.

"So you're choosing me over him then?"

Anna nodded, but she cringed inside, knowing that she was only choosing Hans because she couldn't have Kristoff.

"Then prove it."

Usually Anna was shy about kissing Hans and letting him touch her. He'd been incredibly patient with her up to that point, but this was her last chance. If she didn't follow through on this then he wasn't going to get back together with her. After what happened with Kristoff in gym class, and after she made him stop last time, she owed it to Hans. Not only that, but she loved him, and this is what people who love each other do. And all he was asking from her was her commitment to him, to their relationship. Understandably, he needed her to prove her loyalty to him. Anna didn't really see any other way. This was her moving on from Kristoff.

"Anna, is this really what you want?"

She didn't really even know if it was what she wanted, but it was what she needed to do. She needed Hans to know how much she loved him, and she needed to show herself that Kristoff didn't mean anything to her.

She started sucking on Hans' neck so she didn't have to answer.

"Anna, darling." He lifted her chin with his fingers to meet his eyes. "I need to know. I need to know that you want it, that you want me. Be honest."

Hans had never spoken to her so tenderly before. Everything in his heart showed in his eyes. He loved Anna so much more than she deserved, and his heart was so close to breaking. She felt like putty in his hands, and she'd do anything he'd ask of her.

"Yes," she said. In that moment, she wanted nothing more than to make him happy again. She had no idea he was even capable of so much feeling, and she was drawn to him.

Hans went slow this time, and he got her ready slowly, in a way that felt good. Anna really didn't want to touch Hans, but she did because he asked her to. She didn't like the way he kissed her, their mouths melded together at the lips with his tongue swirling wildly around her mouth. She didn't know what to do with her tongue, and it didn't really seem to matter much. It felt awkward and uncomfortable and her jaw felt sore from being stretched so wide, and with her quickened heart rate it was difficult to breathe like that. Hans hunted her tongue and there wasn't anywhere for it to hide. He finally stopped to put the condom on, to Anna's relief. Then he rubbed her some more and she called out to him, which encouraged him to shoot inside of her. She screamed from the pain of his sudden deep movement, but he kept going. "I guess you really like that!" "Hans…" "You're so fucking beautiful , Anna!" She felt herself leave her body and look down from above. Hans kept talking to her, but it was muffled. Eventually, it didn't even feel like it was her having sex. It was her body, but she only watched it happening. It wasn't especially pleasurable, but not too painful either. She felt numb to everything except the feeling that this wasn't right. "Anna? Baby? You with me?" Anna snapped back to her body. Her insides were raw and throbbing, but didn't let Hans see how much pain she was in. "What, oh, it's just… so…" "Amazing? Right?" "Yeah. Amazing." "Do you want to be on top now?" Anna panicked. She had no idea what to do "on top". She barely knew what to do "on bottom." But Hans' eyes pleaded again, like he wouldn't believe she really loved him if she didn't do this. So she did. It hurt so bad to slide on top of him, but he massaged her in a way he discovered she liked to help her relax into it. It helped a little, enough for her to go all the way down, but it felt more like he was probing her. She didn't say anything, though, because she didn't want him to think she didn't like it. Being on top hurt a lot less, though, but then she felt so self-conscious because she had no idea what to do. Finally, she wondered if this is what it would be like with Kristoff. Would it be so uncomfortable and painful and awkward? So she looked down at Hans and closed her eyes, replacing his face with Kristoff's. She finally felt her muscles relax a little more. It felt so wrong, but at the same time, it felt just fine with her eyes closed, and she even started to like it. She got the hang of the rhythm, and what felt good to her. But then Hans started to talk again and broke the illusion. Before he could say she was beautiful again, she opened her eyes and put her finger to his lips. "Oh, I guess you don't lik-" She shut him up with a kiss this time. Then she leaned back up and closed her eyes again. It started to feel really good until Hans grabbed at her breasts and squeezed too hard. Then she had a quick flash in black and white, a pair of menacing hands reaching down to her. So she moved his hands to her hips, but that was an even bigger mistake. He held her hips still, she tried to get out of it, but at that angle, he had too much control. Then he pumped into her and her body burned like it did before. She couldn't ask him to stop this time, though. Anna sobbed from the pain, from the total lack of control, from being helpless, from regretting her decision, and, most of all, from such a strong feeling of shame. Anna blacked out and hardly even noticed when Hans spasmed, and jerked, and finally collapsed beneath her. She finally relaxed at the relief that it was over. "Oh, Baby, that was… oh my god… wow… Did you like it, too?" "Mhmm!" Then she rolled over on her side so her back was to him so it wasn't as hard to hide her feelings from him. Hans wrapped himself around her like Kristoff had, but it felt so different. He kept trying to grab her boobs and she moved his hand to her stomach each time. "Anna, you have the best boobs. They're exactly the right size for my hand." Then he kissed her shoulder and said, "They're so beautiful. Just like the rest of you." Tears rolled down Anna's nose as she sobbed silently, Hans not even aware. There was something about him grabbing her boob and telling her she's beautiful. She was filled with a horrible feeling of dread, as though there was a sudden and unexpected solar eclipse. She shivered for a moment, then dried her tears and pulled herself together. She was fully dressed by the time Hans got out of the bathroom.

Hans tried to be affectionate and tender after that, putting his forehead to hers and telling her how much he loved her, but Anna was repulsed by him. She made the excuse that she was worried Agnarr would come back before Hans left, even though he probably wouldn't be back for another half hour, and even if he were, he wouldn't have minded Hans being there. But Hans didn't really want to face Agnarr after all that so he easily rushed out.

Anna slid down the door as soon as it was shut and cried on the floor. She felt so ashamed of what she had done, and she couldn't understand why. She wasn't supposed to feel ashamed after sex. It was supposed to be natural and lovely. But she felt like a horrible monster. It didn't seem like there would be a box big enough for sex with Hans, and there wasn't enough room in the closet for it. Maybe she could find a place for it next to all the things she didn't like about her boyfriend, but she needed a bigger box for that, too. She loved Hans, though, despite his many flaws, and he had been more real with her that day than he'd ever been. And he loved her so much.

This wasn't his fault, though. This was Anna's fault. She didn't have to have sex with him, and she didn't have to get back together with him. But if she was honest with herself, she didn't actually want to have sex with him, and she didn't actually want to get back together with him. But now she had done both and she had to live with the consequences. And she shuddered to think that now she'd have to have sex with him all the time, no matter how disgusted she was with him. She did this to herself, and it was what she deserved.

She made her way back to her room and forced herself to look into her eyes in the mirror. She was so hideous that she hardly recognized herself. Hans kept telling her she was beautiful, but that's only because he couldn't see what festered beneath her skin.

Anna fell into a strange and restless sleep. She was running on the track in gym class, when all of a sudden someone came from behind her and tackled her to the ground. He held her tight and whispered in Northuldran, "It's gonna be ok. I've got you. Just stay still." There were a lot of other words being whispered constantly in a calming tone that she couldn't understand.

"We're ok. We're safe. We're in Corona. Kristoff, we're safe. It's ok. We're in Corona."

She pried her hands out of his arms and turned around to place her hand on his shoulder and stroke his cheek. "Kristoff, you're ok."

Finally, he came back to her.

Anna didn't need to look around to know that everyone was staring at them. She knew what Kristoff's heroic move looked like to them.

"Hey, don't worry about them. Are you ok?"

Hans was always telling Anna that she was beautiful and she never believed him. But she believed Kristoff when he looked at her like that.

Anna was underwater again, and everything blurred except Kristoff. She could see him clearly and his bright eyes lit up the darkness from being so far from the sun.

He had a flashback triggered by the sound of the automatic sprinklers, but instead of curling into a ball, he ran towards her so he could protect her. She was touched by his bravery and she couldn't believe he thought that much of her. Then she realized that the brightness in his eyes was a reflection of the stars resting in her own. Shining her eyes on him like that made her forget how horrible and evil she was, because all she wanted was for him to know how special he was. It was becoming an irresistible craving.

Ding, ding

Anna woke up confused when she realized Kristoff wasn't actually there. That memory was too precious for Kristoff's box and she wasn't ready to give it up, until she read Hans' text.

H: I love you so much, Anna. You're so amazing :*

It grated on Anna's nerves. She wasn't amazing at all, she was awful. So Anna threw Kristoff's memory in the box because she didn't deserve it.

"Hi. Can I walk you home?" Kristoff asked Anna in Coronan. She ran into him in the hall and he picked up her bag.

"I don't need company." She took off, but Kristoff jogged after her.

Once they rounded the block, he shouted at her, "Wait, Anna! I just want to talk to you."

"Fine!" Anna stopped and turned. "Fine! Talk! What's so important that you need to tell me?"

He looked around him as he walked right in front of her. He got so close and Anna's heart fluttered. "How are you?" he asked in Northuldran, in an intimate voice that made the hairs on Anna's arms and neck lift.

She paused for a moment to admire how the sun lit up one side of his face, though the other side wasn't shaded at all. His skin was glowing a beautiful golden color. Her hand lifted to move the strand of hair gently blowing across his cheek, but she snapped back to reality before she could do anything she'd regret, rolled her eyes, and started walking away from him. That didn't deter him and he continued to walk with her.

"What are you doing, Kristoff? We've been through this. I don't speak Northuldran. I know how to say a few phrases, and most people from Arendelle can say things like that."

"No. They can't."

Anna stopped and placed her hands on her face in annoyance. She knew he wouldn't accept that response, and she hated herself a little just for lying to him. Why did she even bring it up in the first place? She could have just answered in Arendellian or Coronan, or she could have ignored him. She lied to Hans so many times, but it never felt as bad as lying to Kristoff. Why couldn't she just tell him the truth? She couldn't comment on how she felt when he spoke to her like that. And she had to protect herself. He wanted to know more of her, and that would have been hard because she'd have to open her boxes, but now she knew how much she didn't want Kristoff to know. Because she was so ashamed of so many things, like her behavior ever since the school dance, and then there were the things hiding in the oldest boxes, shoved into the corners covered with thick layers of dust, blocked by newer boxes. It was something so bad that she had avoided for so long, that she didn't even know exactly what was in them, but it was something so bad that she never wanted to open them, much less show them to anyone else, especially Kristoff. Even though she couldn't ever be with him - she made sure of that - it would break her heart to see her shame displace the glowing new moon in his eyes, and his disappointment when he found out that she wasn't what he thought she was.

Her eyes squeezed tightly to stop the tears as she remembered what she did that she couldn't ever take back. It was horrible, and painful, and she would to anything to go back to breaking up with Hans on New Year's Day instead of letting him ruin her in the worst way imaginable. She held her hands to her face, still attempting to shield her feelings. "I already told you, it's too hard to talk about."

"I'm sorry, Anna. You just seemed so sad, and I thought it might comfort you. I didn't mean to upset you."

She gave him a sympathetic look. "I'm sorry, Kristoff. I just can't right now." She was so ashamed that she couldn't look him in the eye.

There was something about the way he looked at her, though. She wanted him to wrap his arms around her and tell her everything was going to be ok, to kiss her tears away. But she didn't deserve that. She wanted him to stand in her closet with her and turn on the light that she was always too short to reach. She already knew she could trust him with her life. It would have felt so good to let go of her memories, to relieve their burden, but Anna didn't know if she could trust Kristoff with her memories.

"I just… everything's in boxes," she stated resolutely, as though he should know what that meant. Then she faced him and looked directly into his eyes. They were so sincere that it was hard not to fall into them. "There's boxes I need to keep closed until I'm ready to look in them again."

She'd never told anyone about her boxes before. Kristoff knew more than everyone else and he was still there. Maybe he'd smile and put his arms around her and all of her boxes would disappear with his wink, like the dress box had done. And then she could decide what to do with the others.

"And you're not ready?"

"No, I'm not, " she said sadly. She wished she could say yes so she could soothe his disappointment. Instead she dried her tears and got defensive.

"So if you don't mind, can you just back off? You're actually really stressing me out. And you're upsetting Hans."

Kristoff laughed at that, while Anna clenched her fists. "Hans? You mean the guy that said you were stupid and then broke up with you in front of the entire class?"

"He only broke up with me because he thought you were trying to steal me from him. And anyway, we're back together now."

Kristoff laughed even harder.

"I'm sorry, did I say something funny?"

"Not funny. It's just that sometimes things are so backwards here. Supposedly we're the savages, but I've never seen women treated so horribly before. Northuldran women are never considered as property." This comment infuriated Anna.

"Hans doesn't think of me as property! He was just worried that my loyalties might change."

"Are you so fickle?" he said with a laugh.

How dare he? "No! But I don't want him to feel like there's a risk."

"So there is a risk, then?" he said more than asked, a charming smile annoyingly plastered to his stupid face. He was so sure of himself that Anna blushed. She hoped her face was red enough from anger that he wouldn't be able to notice how attracted she was to his confidence. She would have hated to give him the satisfaction.

"No!" Her voice wavered unconvincingly and he laughed again.

Anna turned on her heel and picked up the pace. Kristoff followed her all the way to her house, the whole time calling her name, apologizing, begging her to turn around.

Finally Anna turned around and pressed at Kristoff's chest to get him to stop following her. "Just leave me alone, Kristoff!" No one had ever gotten under Anna's skin as much as Kristoff had.

Once she got inside, Anna looked out her bedroom window and watched Kristoff, who had just started to walk away. He turned back once, and the wind caught a strand of hair just slightly, the same strand she wanted to move before, and he touched his hand to his hat to make sure it didn't fall off. There was a risk, she thought. A huge risk. And now Kristoff knew it, too.

Anna should have turned away, but she couldn't. It was his face as he looked towards the sun, his hair sparkling and the tiny hairs on his chin and cheeks glittering like tiny gemstones. His eyes were shut, but his chin was lifted so it hit his face directly, as though he was having a private conversation with Ahtohallan. He was the most extraordinary person she'd ever met. And seeing him like that took her breath away. She was in awe of him. And then, before she even realized what was happening, he smiled and winked. Her whole speech about being loyal and not fickle was completely undermined.

Anna fell to her knees sobbing at what she did with Hans. How did she go from having Kristoff wrapped around her, putting her life above his own, to this wretched thing? Since she had already been ruined for him, she thought the next best thing to do was to get Hans back. She knew what that meant, and if Kristoff knew he wouldn't want to save her life again. She intentionally sabotaged her chances with him. It's not why she did it, but she knew that's what would happen and she did it, and it was for the best anyway. Kristoff would eventually realize that she wasn't good enough for him, and there was nothing she could do to change his mind.

She couldn't have him in real life, so she imagined Kristoff cradling her on the floor, like he did when he saved her life, saying, "You're ok. You're safe. I still love you." She tried to put Wednesday night in a box, but it didn't fit and she didn't have a bigger size. She was going to have to sit with her shame and the worst consequence of her choices.

Kristoff wasn't going to leave Anna alone, though, and every time he talked to her she was more tempted to hold his hand, kiss him, move his shaggy hair from his face, or straighten out his wrinkled shirt. She was a moth to Kristoff's brightly glowing flame, irresistible desire flickering in his eyes. He was a huge risk, and despite Hans, despite what she did with him, despite the boxes Kristoff kept knocking from her shelves, and despite her guilt for having a wonderful life while Kristoff barely scraped by and likely witnessed unspeakable horrors, she honestly didn't know how much longer she'd be able to resist him and his inevitable rejection. Worse yet, she couldn't take the humiliation of exposing her darkest secrets with him, only for him to come to his senses and leave her alone to be consumed by shame.

Kristoff was a risk she wasn't ready to take.