Summary: When Happy tries to copy Natsu and get Charle to kiss him better, it fails…..epically….

Pairings: Natsu/Lucy, Happy/Charle, Gajeel/Levy, one-sided Jet/Levy/Droy, Gray/Juvia, Laxus/Thunder God friendship, Elfman/Evergreen, Erza/Happy friendship, and more Natsu/Lucy.

Author's Note: First…..thank you so much for giving me over SIXTY THREE HUNDRED REVIEWS! Secondly, extra thanks to GodofGreed, whose comment inspired this chapter.

It was just after a job when Happy got the idea.

It was a supposedly simple task, just to collect a rare artefact from a temple and in return enough money to pay Lucy's rent for three years (which meant there would surely be enough for one month's rent after Natsu and Lucy accidentally trashed everything). Of course it was never ever simple, and by the time they escaped from the death trap that was the temple, Natsu was severely bruised and cut from all the traps and Lucy had to summon Virgo for a whole new outfit as her clothes was shredded.

"Luuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucy!" Natsu whined childishly. "I'm hurt all over! Kiss it better!"

Lucy rolled her eyes, and then, much to Happy's shock, she gently cupped Natsu's face and softly pressed her lips along his cheek bone.

No screaming.

No Lucy Kick.

No name-calling.

She just did it!

An idea formed in Happy's mind, with an evil grin, he shot back to the guild building, purposely got his tail caught in the door (and screamed shrilly leaving poor Alzack and Bisca to apologise persistently), before he made his way towards Charle.

"Charle, Charle," he sniffled, "I hurt my tail."

"Yeah?" Charle raised an unimpressed eyebrow. "What do you want me to do about it? Wendy's the healer!"

"Kiss it better!"

He stared at Charle with wide-eyed hope as tears of agony welled up and Charle stared back at him with her beautiful dark eyes, and then, and then –

"…No," Charle turned away from him.

"But! But! But!" Happy stammered disbelievingly. "It worked for Natsu!"

"THAT WORKED FOR SALAMANDER?!" Gajeel burst out. It was then, belatedly, Happy realised that Charle had been in the middle of a conversation with Lily and Gajeel and they had just witnessed Happy's shame. "Damn!" Gajeel cursed. "Can't have him being kissed by some babe more than me."

He then instantly whirled round and punched Elfman hard in the face

Elfman did not take this kindly.

And, of course, a brawl broke out within seconds.

Happy watched in morbid fascination as Gajeel eventually broke free, limped over towards Levy, and draped an arm round her shoulders. "Oi," he growled, "Shrimp."

"Gajeel!" Levy gasped as she turned in his arms and stared at him horrified. "What happened to your face?!"

"I got hurt," Gajeel shrugged, "kiss it better for me?"

Levy turned tomato red and began to stammer a reply when Jet and Droy suddenly elbowed Gajeel out of the way. "NO!" Jet screamed in her face. "KISS ME BETTER!"

"NOT HIM!" Droy bellowed. "ME!"

"SHE AIN'T KISS EITHER OF YOU!" Gajeel barked as he tugged them both by the collar and threw them over his shoulder. "I'M THE ONE THAT'S GTTING THE KISS, YOU PERVERTS!"

Levy turned her back on them all, unimpressed. "If you three can fight about it," she muttered, "then none of you need a kiss."

"LEVY-CHAN!"

Gajeel looked furious as Jet and Droy wept pathetically around him. It was needless to say within seconds he went back to beating the crap out of them….

"GRAY-SAMA!" Juvia squealed as she cased Gray through the brawling crowd. "LET JUVIA KISS ALL OF YOUR WOUNDS BETTER!"

"GAH!" Gray yelled as he ducked under the table. "Juvia!" he cried out. "I'm not wounded!"

"That's okay!" Juvia said ecstatically. "Juvia can injure you!"

"WHAT?!"

"Laxus-sama!" three familiar voices all chorused. "Let us kiss your wounds better!"

"I'm not injured, you idiots!" Laxus snarled as he tried to escape the grasp of his so called best friends. "Now get off of me before I injure you!"

"Ah!" Freed immediately let got to clasp his chest. "We are not worthy to be kissed better by Laxus-sama!"

"Where the hell are you getting all this crap from?!"

"Oi, Ever!" Elfman snapped churlishly. "It's unmanly to try and kiss a unharmed man better when a REAL MAN who has been injured is left alone."

"There's a real man?" Evergreen flipped her hair. "Where?"

Elfman fell to the floor as his soul left him, not that anyone noticed, Gajeel was still beating the crap out of Jet and Droy, Juvia was trying to kiss Gray's uninured chest better, Laxus was still fighting his friends off, Macao and Wakaba were being incredibly unsuccessful in their attempts to get…..well anyone to kiss them better, and Charle had left the building with Wendy the moment Gajeel punched Elfman.

It was then when a burning sensation in Happy's tail reminded him that he was actually still in pain. "WAH!" he wailed, fresh tears ran down his cheeks. "IS NO ONE GOING TO TAKE CARE OF ME?!"

"There, there," a firm hand patted him….hard. "Nurse Erza," Erza appeared in her nurse uniform as she looked unnaturally serene, "is here to kiss all your wounds better."

"….on second thoughts," Happy mumbled, "I think I'm better off with the pain."

He then had to spend the whole afternoon fleeing as Erza took great offense from his insult. This was all Natsu and Lucy's fault! They had to make it seem so easy to be kissed better! Where the hell are they while he was suffering, anyway?!

(Meanwhile, unaware that Happy had left them, Lucy had moved onto kissing Natsu's very nicely sculptured chest better…..they weren't going home anytime soon.)