Summary: The Magic Council would never be unprofessional…..unless they used to be Fairy Tail members.

Pairings: Implied Gajeel/Levy, Gajeel/Levy/Lily friendship, brief mention of Jet/Levy/Droy friendship, and Lily/Kiwis.

Author's Note: Thank you all so much for giving me over SIXTY SIX HUNDRED reviews!

There was no such thing as an ordinary, boring, job request when working for the Magic Council. Lots of paperwork, never-ending periods of boring, deathly tiring, politics about what spell should or should not be considered illegal, and a lot of sitting around doing nothing, but never a boring job request.

Instead they investigated crimes, magical crimes to be particular, and when one crime was committed with the use of illegal runes there was only one person who could investigate it.

What Levy didn't understand was why Gajeel and Lily had to come with her.

"It's because you're so small, Shrimp," Gajeel smirked, "the Big Wigs in the council are worried the criminals won't notice you're biting at their ankles and sent someone they could actually see."

"Gajeel!" Levy growled as she tried to hit him. Unfortunately Gajeel took advantage of his strength to casually keep her at arm's length as she struggled against his one sole hand that was on her forehead. "URGH!"

"Actually," Lily said coolly, "the senior members think you can handle this on your own but Gajeel insisted that someone should be there to protect you and that is why my Sunday enjoying kiwi juice has been ruined."

"LILY!"

Levy couldn't help but giggle at the indignant and embarrassed expression on Gajeel's face that told her everything Lily had just said was true. "You're sweet," she said as she patted Gajeel's arm, "I'm lucky to have you."

"Gihihi," Gajeel smirked, "of course you are."

"Great," Lily muttered, "now you inflated his ego and I will have to be the one that deals with it."

Levy didn't mind, it was nice to have company with her as she travelled for her investigation. It was time like this that she genuinely missed the company of her teammates and any sort of friend was well and truly welcome.

Even if it did mean she had to rub soothing circles on Gajeel's back as he gagged and vomited one and off for the entire train journey.

Eventually they got there and Levy was very glad to see the witness' house after having to spend another two hours in a cart with a motion sickness Gajeel and a smug Lily who fly beside the cart, far, far, far away from any vomit.

With a brisk knock on the door, Levy started the investigation.

Their witness was a small, weedy, man that had absolutely nothing remarkable about him. Apart from one thing…. "Hi," Levy smiled politely, "we're representatives from the Magic Council, and we're here to question you about the incident last week with the runes. You are Mr…." she bit her lip and thought back a giggle, "Mr Cocklin, right?"

Gajeel choked and Lily looked slightly constipated.

"Yes," the man replied, "I am Mr Cocklin."

"Pfft!" Levy held up the powers to hide her laugh. "I'm sorry! I'm really sorry!" she shook her head and pursued her lips tightly trying to fight back the urge to really laugh. "P-p-please go on!" she stammered between the snickers that tried desperately to escape her lips. "You saw?"

"Yes, I saw the-"

"Is it really, really, tiny?"

"I beg your pardon?" Mr Cocklin blinked. "If you mean the runes, then no they were-"

"Nah," Gajeel interrupted again, "I meant your cock."

Lily face-palmed as Levy trembled with the difficulty to not laugh.

"My what?!"

"You heard me," Gajeel said flatly, "was it so teeny and tiny that the nurses thought it was a sweet little duckling and named you Cocklin or was it just a trick of fate?"

"I have you know!" Mr Cocklin huffed. "That my cock is fucking ginormous and my surname has nothing to do with the size of it!"

Levy couldn't help it at that point, it was one thing to hear a funny surname, another to hear Gajeel's teasing, and an entirely different and hilarious thing to have the witness respond in such a childish manner.

She burst out laughing so hard that she fell on the floor and couldn't get up. Instead she rolled from side to side as tears of mirth sprang down her face as she laughed harder than she had in months since the guild disbanded.

God, she had missed this.

"Gihihihihihihihihihihihhihihihihihihihihihihihhihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihi!"

And judging by Gajeel's sniggering, so had he.

"I don't believe this!" Mr Cocklin threw his hands in the air. "I would have thought that the Magic Council would be more professional than this!"

"Yes," Lily agreed solemnly, "sadly though we are severely under-staffed and had no choice but to hire these unprofessional embarrassments."

Gajeel and Levy immediately stopped laughing and turned to give Lily the coldest, deadliest, glares they could muster. Which wasn't much, Lily was so used to Gajeel's that he didn't even flutter an eyelash at it, and Levy's wasn't worth much as she was way too sweet and kind to muster up a frightening glare.

Lily regrets not taking Levy's glare seriously later when Levy sets up runes around all the kiwis in the house and wouldn't take them down until they had rotted away.

Oh the inhumanity of it!