The return of some old faces
If there was one thing Mario hated about Bowser's traps, they almost always had a room involving lava. Yes, the Koopa King is a fire-breathing turtle monster, but after all the times he had fallen into the molten pool, one would think Bowser wouldn't think about including it in his traps anymore; he never learned. So, it wasn't too much of a surprise when Mario opened the door to the next room to find -
"Lava," Mario huffed in annoyance, "of course."
The magma bubbled and glowed menacingly as he walked down the path towards the door, annoyed but on guard. In his experience, lava meant two things; a battle or obstacles, but the one thing they had in common was a trap. Still, the lava was often a sign that Bowser's domain was close, a fact Mario had been looking forward to since he arrived.
"I'm almost there Luigi," He said to himself, "Just gotta get past this room, and once I stomp Bowser, we're going home."
"Such a sweet thought,"
Mario quickly got into a battle stance. His eyes scanned the room.
"Does it include one where the two of you are hugging and crying?"
"Isss there a party where you celebrate with your sssubjectsss, your friendssss, and lovely queen?"
Three figures dropped down from the ceiling, landing gracefully in front of Mario, surprising him. The figures were a rat with sunglasses, a crab, and a three-headed serpent - all familiar to the plumber. Mario's fists clenched in anger as the rat spoke.
"Long time no see plumb-scum!" The rat sneered, and he adjusted his glasses.
"Mouser, Triclyde, and Clawgrip," Mario growled, "Never thought I'd see your ugly faces again."
"And we never thought we'd sssssee yoursss again, you horrid little king!" Triclyde hissed.
"Miss us, Mario?" Clawgrip asked as he snapped his claws.
"Not really," Mario said with a slight shrug, "But if you're here, the rest of the 8-bit must be around."
The three villains glanced at each other, feeling awkward, "Uh…actually no. It's just us." Mouser answered.
Clawgrip glared at Mario, "Other than Birdo ditched us to be with that Yoshi twerp, Wart's still gone thanks to you, the mushroom brat, your ugly twin, and that ditzy blondie."
Mario felt offended, "THE HELL DID YOU SAY?!"
"You heard me, meatball!" Clawgrip sassed.
"As for the resssssst," Triclyde interrupted, "They were too chicken, ssssoo…it'sssss jusssst the three of usssss."
"Besides," Mouser cracked his knuckles threateningly, "We owe you the most for all those humiliating defeats! Not just in Subcon, but when we worked for Bowser!" A dark smile spread across the rat's face as he continued, "Lucky for us, The Koopa king's paying us a ton of gold coins to pound you into mush and bring you to him so he can have the pleasure of finishing you off." A steely glint gleamed through his glasses as the villain pulled out an un-light bomb. Mouser's grin widened, "And trust me, I've been wanting to do this for a LOOONG time."
"Well, get in line Mouser," Clawgrip snapped and pushed the rat out of the way, "I got dibs on pounding the shrimp first!"
"Hey, wait a sssssecond!" Triclyde interjected, "I wanna pummel him firssssst! He and hisssss green twin grabbed my headssss and ssssnap them againsssst each other! I almossst got a concusssssion!"
"Dude! He almost cracked my shell open with those friggin rocks!" Clawgrip argued.
"It's your own fault for throwing those at him in the first place, moron," Mouser exclaimed, "Besides, I need revenge more than you lunkheads! That mustachioed fool's the reason why I had to exchange my sunglasses for transitions!" The vile vermin pulled off his glasses and waved them at his comrades, "I used to wear these for show! Now I need them to see far away!"
"You're the one who decided to use bombs as their trademark weapon, not me or Triclyde," Clawgrip sassed.
"At least I have an actual brain instead of three separate ones that are the size of marbles and whatever the hell you have in that empty head of yours!" Mouser insulted!
"Hey now, they ssssay three headsss are better then one!" Triclyde said defensively.
"If that were true, we wouldn't have had trouble dealing with this guy and his entourage!" Clawgrip shouted, "We would have been livin' large in the Mushroom Kingdom, or better yet in Subcon, and Birdo wouldn't have ditched us!"
"Oh. My. Star Sprites! Get over her, Clawgrip!" Mouser moaned, "She wasn't even into you! Which isn't too shocking."
"What's that supposed to mean!?"
"He meanssss you come off too ssssstrong," Triclyde replied, "You got to take it sssslow, when it comesss to women. They don't exactly like it when men presssssent themsssselvesssss as these overly confident big sssshotssss. Unless they're gold diggerssss or Captain Ssssyrup."
"Wow, great advice from someone whose prom date was his mom," Clawgrip said sarcastically.
"YOU LEAVE MY MOM OUT OF THISSS!"
The villains continued their argument, completely forgetting that foe was standing a couple of feet away. Mario stood there, feeling annoyed at the sorry display – this whole time they could have spent fighting him, they chose to battle each other. Nonsense like this was the main reason why Birdo abandoned the 8-bits.
Feeling his patience running thin and his desire to get Luigi out of this hell hole, Mario muttered, "Screw this!"
The plumber pulled out a red star, transforming into Comet Mario. The villains stopped their bickering for ten seconds to see their foe fly over them and land at the end of the bridge. Mario glanced at them for a moment, then shifted his eyes towards a familiar-looking ax-shaped switch.
"Well, I'll be damned," He bemused in a monotonous tone, "Didn't think this was still here. Wonder if it still works."
Mouser, Triclyde, and Clawgrip's eyes widen. One flick of the switch and they'd be taking a lava bath . . . OF PAIN! The trio screamed and Sprinted down the bridge to avoid their fiery fate while shoving each other along the way to try and stop Mario before he hit the switch.
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*CLICK!*
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A few seconds before they reached the end, Mario hit the switch causing the bridge to collapse. Mouser, Clawgrip, and Triclyde stared at Mario midair before they dreadfully looked down at the ground and then back at the Plumber. Triclyde's three heads started whimpering; Mouser began to flail in an attempt to stay in the air, while Clawgrip gave the red King a deadpanned expression.
"You. SUCK." He seethed. Mario responded by leaning against the switch and flicking two fingers from his forehead to the villains, signaling "Goodbye." With that, the baddies fell straight into the lava.
A second later, they shot out of the lava. The villains screamed as they projected on the opposite side of the room, where Mario first entered. They were alive but writhing in pain from the extreme burns they suffered from the short time in the lava. CLawgrip dropped to the ground screaming as he gripped his stomach. Triclyde squirmed around the ground, trying to do the stop-drop-roll technique. As for Mouser, he ran around in a circle, hollering in pain.
"OH, GOD! OMG! HOLY MOTHER OF STAR SPRITES!" Mouser howled in agony.
"OH, IT BURNS! IT BURNS! I FEEL MY INSIDES BEING BAKED!" Clawgrip cried.
"YOU FRIGGIN PSSSSSSYCHO! WHY THE FLIPPIN H WOULD YOU DO THAT!" Triclyde cursed at the Plumber, who walked out of the room.
"OMG, I THINK MY GLASSES MELTED OVER MY EYESOCKETS!" Mouser collapsed to the ground grasping his face.
"SCREW THIS! NO AMOUNT OF COINS OR PAYBACK IS WORTH DEALING WITH THAT MUSTACHED MONSTER AGAIN!" Clawgrip screamed.
"NO KIDDING! I'LL BE SHEDDING FOR MONTHS!" Triclyde wailed.
Mario tuned the villains out as he walked through the door. Usually, he would feel bad for doing this, especially after all his encounters with lava. But after all the bull he endured, that guilt died instantly. Besides, he had bigger fish to fry, and larger threats to stop.
The door slammed behind him as the room lit up with torches, another cliché technique by his archenemy, that led up to a small staircase. Mario couldn't help but grumble – if his mood wasn't already poor from dealing with those morons earlier, this did the trick.
"I SWEAR to the heavens," The plumber griped as old, unpleasant memories resurfaced, "If this is another one of those endless stairways, I'm making a HOLE in the roof and setting the whole place on fire once I get Luigi."
Lucky for Mario and anyone else in the castle, the endless staircase trap wasn't reused - Upon reaching the top, there stood a large door with Bowser's icon plastered on it. Mario almost wanted to let out a cry of joy – this was it! His enemy, right behind this door, and hopefully with his brother too. Taking a deep breath, Mario pushed the metal door revealing the throne room. Time to end this!
NEXT CHAPTER The final confrontation. This one was more for comedy/humor. Plus it was fun bringing back old faces. all characters belong to nintendo.