Summary: Set in my 'The One with the Secret Relationship' universe as a sort of prequel. Natsu and his latest girlfriend aren't doing so great in bed, so Lucy gives him some pointers.

Pairings: Mentions of Natsu/OC, implied Natsu/Lucy, Lucy/Levy/Cana friendship, sort of implied mention of Cana/Loke, and Levy/Gajeel.

Author's Note: Warning, some adult content that could, by some people, be considered as M rated, but honestly it's no more detailed than a scene from a 90s sitcom that got aired repeatedly at a time children could watch it.

It was a nice, quiet, afternoon where for once Lucy's apartment had less than five or so people crowding it.

Instead of hordes of people bickering, fighting over a seat, sprawling all over her floor, and eating all of her food, it was just herself, Cana, and Levy, and they fully intended to enjoy the girly afternoon that had become available to them.

Cana had fixed them all margaritas, Levy pulled out a Pride and Prejudiced quiz out that she had found, and Lucy got out her nail polishes for a session.

It was then when Natsu walked in, as he has always done since the beginning of time, and immediately helped himself to a drink and some food from Lucy's fridge.

"Hey," Lucy smiled, her happiness of seeing a friend who she hadn't (surprisingly enough) seen for a while overriding her irritation of Natsu's annoying habit of just walking in and helping himself, "haven't seen you in a while."

"Yeah," Natsu grinned sheepishly, "I've been busy with Kathy."

"Oh," Cana smirked, "and how exactly is that going?"

"All right," Natsu shrugged, "now Loke has gotten over it and is dating someone else."

No one is quite sure what is more shocking, the fact that Natsu got a girlfriend, or the fact that someone wanted to cheat on Loke with Natsu. Either way it's was a unique experience to see Natsu dating and naturally everyone was extremely curious and wanted all the details.

And Cana was just a pervert.

"So," she prodded, "did you do it?"

"Yes, yes," Natsu said irritably, "we had the sex."

Lucy and Levy exchanged worried looks while Cana snorted. "The sex?" she teased him, Natsu ignored her and merely gulped down more of Lucy's orange soda.

"Uh-oh," Levy frowned, "it was bad?"

"It was fine, you know?" Natsu mumbled with a shrug. Cana, Levy and Lucy all shared a knowing look and then raised an eyebrow at Natsu. It was all it took for Natsu to continue and spill all. "But she didn't agree with me as much as she agreed with the Loke."

"Oh sweetie," Cana grinned, "everyone agrees with Loke more. He's a sexy beast who knows how to – ouch!"

Cana massaged the bruise that was definitely forming from Lucy's sharp elbow as Lucy tried to reassure Natsu that it couldn't have been that bad.

"Well it was your first time together," Levy said more practically, "there's not a lot of agreement on your first time."

"Not for girls anyway," Cana scoffed, "guys? They agree like that." She clicked her fingers.

"Look!" Natsu slammed the can onto the kitchen table and leaped over Lucy's sofa ("Natsu!" Lucy shrieked as both her and Levy had to duck to avoid his feet. "What have I told you about jumping on my furniture?!") And sat himself down on Lucy's coffee table. Lucy scowled at him. "You have to help me, okay?" Natsu said desperately with a wide-eyed pleading look on his face, "I mean," he flushed, "I know what to do with a woman. I know where everything goes and it's always nice but I need to know what makes it go from nice to….more than nice."

"More than nice?" Cana snorted.

"You know what I mean!"

Cana and Levy shared an amused look and struggled to not laugh in Natsu's face. Lucy, however, instantly softened at the desperate, begging, expression. "All right," she said finally, "I'm going to show you something most guys don't know. Levy, pass me that pad and pen please?" Levy instantly handed over the pad and pen Lucy kept by her phone, curious to see where her best friend was heading with this. "Now then…"

Everyone was slightly taken back when Lucy started to sketch a female body. "Look you don't have to draw an actual woman you weird – whoa, she's hot," Natsu said admiringly.

"Is it just me," Cana murmured in Levy's ear, "or does that drawing look a lot like Lucy?"

"Just you," Levy rolled her eyes, "it's a headless drawing that looks nothing like Lu-Chan."

"I don't know," Cana grinned, "they look like her breasts."

Levy rolled her eyes again. No one can comprehend Cana's obsession with breasts especially since she never dated a girl or anything. Sometimes Levy thinks Cana just does it to wind everyone up.

"Everyone knows the basic erogenous zones," Lucy started, regaining Levy and Cana's attention, "you got one, two, three," Natsu nodded, "four," Natsu froze and his eyes widened, "five," his eyes gotten wider and bigger, "six," his jaw dropped open, "and seven."

"There's seven?!" he cried out.

"Let me see that." Cana ordered, Lucy showed her the picture and she examined it carefully, "Oh, yeah," she nodded wisely, "that's definitely seven."

Natsu stabbed a finger at a drawing. "That's one?!" he yelped.

Lucy smothered a laugh and shot Natsu a 'are you really that stupid?!' look. "Kinda of an important one," she informed him.

"Oh right," Natsu bluffed, "I was looking at it upside down."

"Well you know," Cana smirked, "that sometimes helps,"

"Okay" Lucy said loudly to bring the conversation back on track, "most guys go one, two, three, and then go to seven and set up camp."

"That's bad?"

"Well if you go to a theme park," Levy said, "you don't spend all day on the best and biggest rollercoaster. You explore other things and work your way up."

"Wouldn't mind if they were anything like seven," Natsu shot back, "….and didn't give me motion sickness," he tacked on, "which seven wouldn't. Seven's nice."

"All right," Lucy said even louder, "the important thing is to take your time, you want to hit them all, and you want to mix some up. You want to keep them on their toes."

"OH! TOES!" Levy shouted excitedly as her arms shot up in the air. Everyone froze and turned to look at her, Natsu and Lucy disbelievingly and Cana very much amused. Levy's hands instantly dropped back into her lap and her cheeks turned as bright as Erza's hair. "...you know for some people."

This time Natsu and Cana both silently pleaded Lucy to go back to the subject at hand, they really didn't want the image of Gajeel sucking on Levy's toes forever burnt into their memories.

"All right," Lucy coughed awkwardly, "you could start up with a little one, a two, a one two three," she said a little quickly, "a three, a five," she squirmed slightly in her seat and crossed a leg over the other, "a four, a three two, two, a two four six" her breath hitched ever so slightly and Natsu shifted back, looking utterly stunned, "two four six, four, two, two," Lucy's voice gotten huskier and deeper and now even Levy was starting to shift in her seat, four seven, five seven, six seven," Natsu was suddenly finding it very hard to breath as he took in the closed, near ecstatic expression, on Lucy's face, her voice getting higher and higher and all the more excited. It was doing something strange to his insides. " seven, seven, seven, seven," Lucy's body was moving in a rhythmic jerking motion, Levy and Cana were now watching with wide-eyed fascination and Natsu's mouth dropped open ever so slightly as his breathing came out ragged. "Seven, SEVEN!" Lucy's voice could probably now be heard by the downstairs neighbours. It almost cracked and croaked with sexual excitement. "SEVEN" her head then rolled back onto the sofa, her eyes screwed up tight, her arms up slightly as if she was holding onto someone, as she silently mouthed the word, "SEVEN!" one last time.

"…"

"…"

"…"

There was a moment of awkward silence as Cana was speechless with shock (never did she think Lucy would be so bold, she liked this new aspect of her friend), Levy was starting to think about a certain boyfriend of hers, and Natsu suddenly found himself incapable of remembering his girlfriend's name as all that was in his mind was Lucy, Lucy, and more Lucy.

"Erm," Lucy flushed with embarrassment, "and that's it."

"Yeah," Cana agreed, "that would work."

There was another moment of silence and then suddenly Natsu and Lucy got up and walked in opposite directions. Cana was unable to keep a knowingly perverted grin on her face as Lucy slammed the door to her bedroom shut and Natsu locked himself into the bathroom.

Levy was already on the phone to Gajeel informing him to be naked by the time she got home.

Unsurprisingly Natsu's relationship with Kathy didn't last long after that.