Summary: There are two powerful, blonde, mages whose names begin with L in Fairy Tail….it's no wonder misunderstandings can happen.

Pairings: Implied one-sided Natsu/Laxus, implied Natsu/Lucy, Mira/Natsu friendship, Laxus/Thunder God friendship, and general other friendship feels.

YouTube Prompt: Fairy Tail tribute or fake opening to the song 'Paper Moon' from the Soul Eater soundtrack.

"Oh come on Natsu!" Mira pouted for the hundredth time that hour. "Give me a clue! Just one clue! I promise I won't tell!"

It was a typical evening in Fairy Tail which meant, of course, that half the guild was somewhat intoxicated in order to celebrate something or the other. This usually didn't bother Laxus as much as no one annoyed him or spoke to him as they were too busy making fools of themselves. The girls, for example, were in a corner giggling and acting like a group of brainless twits. And some of the guys were too busy punching each other to come over and try and initiate a conversation with him.

This suited Laxus perfectly…..apart from the fact that Natsu was drunk (and stupid) enough to let slip to the very sober Mirajane that he had a crush on something, and for the last hour and ten minutes, Mira did nothing but try and pull out a name from Natsu.

It was increasingly annoying for everyone sitting nearby and not just because they hadn't been able to fill their glasses with more booze.

"Yeah, come on Natsu!" Cana whined. "Just tell her so I can have a drink."

"Nuh-huh!" Natsu shook his head cheerfully. "Tis a secret!" he hiccupped.

"Tell the damn demon what she wants to hear," Gajeel growled, "or I will beat you bloody with my mug."

"Nope!"

"Why you little-"

"Natsu," Laxus said in a dangerously low tone, finally losing all patience (Damnit he wanted another drink and he couldn't have one until Mira got her answers!), "give Mira a clue or so help me God I will tell Erza it was you that destroyed her fourteenth birthday cake."

Natsu rapidly turned pale and shuddered. "A-a-aye," he stuttered in agreement, "just one clue? No names."

"No names," Mira agreed sweetly, "give me the clue and I'm sure I can work it out on my own."

"Well….the person I like is powerful," Natsu said slowly.

"THE FUCK?!" Gajeel roared. "That could be anyone in this damn guild, I don't know if you noticed this Salamander but we're hardly the weakest mages in the country."

"Thank you Gajeel!" Mira cried out. "Give me a proper clue, Natsu!"

"All right, all right, they're blonde, and," Natsu scrunched his face up, "their name begins with an L."

"..."

"..."

"…"

"…"

"Oh my God!" Mira squealed excitedly. "It's so obvious now!"

"Fucking hell," Gajeel muttered.

"Tee-hee," Cana snickered filthy, "knew it."

"Natsu," Laxus said darkly as he slowly edged away from the pink-haired boy, "do me a favour?"

"Hmm?"

"Stay the fuck away from me."

"What?!"

"Your feelings are not returned."

"How the fuck do you know that?!" Natsu demanded to know. "You don't know that! For all you know they could be!"

"No, no," Laxus shook his head, as he tried to force back the vomit that welled up in his throat back down, "they will never be returned."

"Why would you say something like that?!"

"Because," Gajeel rolled his eyes, "he ain't gay, Salamander. Duh."

"….I don't understand," Natsu blinked stupidly, "what does that have to do with anything?"

"Jeeze," Cana groaned, "you just said you fancied Laxus, if he isn't gay, he's not going to return your feelings now, is he?"

"Though," Mira shot Laxus a chiding glare, "he could have rejected you much more nicely."

"WHAT?!" Natsu shrieked. "Why would you say that?! Why would you even think that?! How did you get Laxus from what I said?!"

"Natsu," Cana said impatiently, "powerful, blonde, mage with the name beginning with L, who else could that be?"

"I DON'T FANCY LAXUS!"

There was a moment of utter, deadly, silence as everyone in the building stopped talking and slowly turned their heads to look at Natsu and Laxus.

"Ha! Ha!" Gray cackled from the other side the room. "Natsu fancies Laxus. That explains so much!"

"No I don't!" Natsu protested. "I just said I didn't!"

"You better now," Freed glowered at Natsu, "you are nowhere near deserving enough for Laxus-sama's love. You are too uncouth, rowdy, and incapable of keeping up with Laxus-sama's greatness."

"He ain't that great!" Natsu snarled.

"You're still unworthy of Laxus-sama!" Bickslow snapped back.

"Yeah!" his babies chorused from behind. "Unworthy! Unworthy! Unworthy!"

"I am not unworthy! I'm better than that git!" Natsu shouted. "But that's not the point because I don't-"

"I suppose this is why you're always begging for a fight with the bastard," Gajeel smirked, "you were desperate for him to pound you into the ground."

"I DON'T FANCY LAXUS!" Natsu screamed one last time. "I MEANT LUCY! LUCY! NOT LAXUS!"

Unfortunately for him no one was paying attention as Laxus lost his temper at Gajeel's comment and instantly slammed his fist into Gajeel's smug, irritating, face, which caused the Iron Dragon Slayer to retaliate, and of course the Thunder God Tribe jumped in to defend Laxus' honour, and Cana called out for a bar fight, and instantly everyone joined in, and thus the ninety ninth brawl of the week started.

By the time it finished everyone was either too drunk or concussed to remember what caused the fight…..until morning.

To which Natsu was forever teased by everyone, Happy included, for his crush on Laxus. After all, there was rarely anything that truly got Natsu flustered and after being teased and pranked by the Fire Dragon Slayer one time too many, the guild was more than happy to retaliate on this.

Natsu continued to shout and scream each time that he didn't fancy Laxus and there is another power, blonde mage with a name beginning with L in the guild ("And is definitely more attractive than Laxus!" he added on one particularly frustrating afternoon), and that was who he meant.

Regardless of Natsu's protests, Laxus always ensured there was at least ten people between them at all times.

He wasn't taking any chances.